Disclaimer: I don't own anything Supernatural or whatnot, it is all property of the CW11 network. So don't sue and please don't be offended by the language cause it's gonna be colorful to say the least.

Chapter 33

True to Sam's predictions he did find himself under tight surveillance in the hours after he'd been caught trying to rebind his own ribs.

Though every other person contributed to watching his every move it was his father and big brother who seemed completely zeroed in on him like a pair of hawks.

But could any of them be blamed for this slightly too focused behavior?

No, not one bit.

Two whole years of not having the one person you would guard with your very soul and body would make even the toughest of men feel the surges of protectiveness and maybe even a little paranoia as well.

From meeting all of the eyes that were trained on him only for a few furtive seconds Sam knew instantly that these five hardened men who had seen things most people only have nightmares about... were scared.

It was there behind the warm protectiveness and the ever constant vigilance.

All five of these men were afraid that if they dared to take their eyes off of Sam for even a moment he'd disappear again from their lives like he had those two long years ago.

Back then he'd been just an eighteen year old fresh out of high school.

Now he was a Marine, a war veteran freshly returned from a place seeming to be Hell on Earth for a lot of the time he'd been there.

All five of these older men probably had more or less the same thoughts running through their minds.

//If it had been so easy for Sam to pull off such a stunt on all of them while he was still a slightly awkward teenager, it raised the question of what he'd be capable of now, still a teenager but also a tall and battered soldier trained in the strategies of war and having most likely picked up a few new tricks during his two year tour of duty in Iraq.//

As for right now Sam found himself virtually surrounded by the unofficial tight security detail that is otherwise known as family.

Sam was on the large sofa with Dean and John flanking him on either side. Bobby and Caleb had taken up their respective places in the comfortable matching chairs on either side of the sofa the three Winchester's were occupying.

A third chair stood beside the one Bobby was sitting in, empty at the moment because the last member of 'Sam's protection detail' was currently in the kitchen talking on the phone making dinner arrangements.

In this case ordering a deluxe combo pizza pie from the one of the local pizzeria's called Soriano's.

" Alright, the pizza's on it's way. Should be here in twenty minutes." Said Pastor Jim as he came into the living room and took up the available seat. His words cause expressions of approval all around.

" Great." Grinned John.

" I'm starving." Piped in Caleb.

" Dinner of champions." Grumbled Bobby.

" Thanks pastor Jim." Said Sam with a small smile.

" Did you remember the extra cheese?" Asked Dean.

" Dean, I think the pizza will taste just as good with or without the extra cheese." Muttered Pastor Jim.

" Besides, consider the rest of us man. I think I speak for everyone, but mainly myself when I say that none of us want you cutting the 'extra cheese' after you've digested it all." Quipped Sam.

Much to Dean's chagrin John, Pastor Jim, Bobby, and Caleb all made noises of agreement to Sam's words.

" Just be happy with the deluxe part big brother." Smiled Sam.

" Alright, alright." Conceded Dean. Come to think of it Sam had a point. The deluxe pizza was just fine by him.

They all tapered off into silence, waiting for the pizza and watching the game on the T.V. They groaned when the team they were rooting for fumbled gave small cheers when they scored. They didn't really care much for it, the five older men all stole glances at Sam feeling elation just to see him smile. Sam wasn't giving much to the game himself, he was silently basking in the feeling of being surrounded by his family.

Then the door bell rang signaling the arrival of dinner.

" I'll get it!" Said Dean before anyone else even thought about getting up.

" Hold your horses ya bottomless pit and take this first." Said Pastor Jim in good natured jest as he held out the bills of payment for the pizza. Dean grinned widely and grabbed up the money from Pastor Jim before scurrying off to the front door.

" Still can't come between Dean and Food, glad that didn't change." Sighed Sam with a small grin of his own.

" I doubt that's ever gonna change Sammy." Added John as he watched his eldest son flirt lightly with the young lady standing on the other side of the door holding a large flat box.

A few seconds later Dean was happily walking back into the living room with the pizza box in held in his hands along with a small fold piece of paper held between the index and middle fingers of his left hand.

As he set the box down, Sam piped up.

" Lemme guess, that's the pizza girl's phone number." He said with a quirked eyebrow.

" Her names Daphne." Shot back Dean before he waved the paper at Sam.

" I still got it. Unlike you, I bet you'd trip over those abnormally large feet of yours the next time you meet something in a skirt seeing as to how you've been around nothing but guys for two years." Said Dean in good natured mocking.

" Oh, don't be too sure about that Dean. Sure it was a majority of guys out there but there were some very lovely ladies among us. Ladies who could put you on your ass if they wanted to Big Brother." Retorted Sam with a small smirk.

" So does this mean my baby bro got some out there in a War Zone?" Asked Dean with a smirk of his own.

" My lips are sealed Dean, now shut up and let me eat." Said Sam, effectively ending that line of conversation.

The older men all rumbled with chuckles as the pizza box was opened and the perfect circle of the deluxe pie inside was broken as the slices were snatched up by hungry men. The six men all enjoyed the good pizza and had a few great big laughs over everything from Dean's feeding habits to a play in the football they'd been watching. Then Sam suddenly got up.

" I feel kinda beat, I'm gonna hit the hay." He said before he walked off towards the stairs. On the way he could feel all five pairs of eyes on him as he climbed the stairs and disappeared to the second floor. John turned to Dean and gave him this look. Dean understood perfectly what the meaning of this look was and nodded to his father. The two elder Winchesters rose to there feet and gave the three other men serious faced looks. Pastor Jim, Bobby, and Caleb all knew that they were all too stay down in the living room, they all nodded in understanding that this was going to be a private moment for only the Winchesters. Returning the nods silently, John and Dean walked over the long cold foot steps of there youngest and disappeared up the stairs to the second floor.

Sam sat over the edge of his bed in the room he'd be sharing with Dean. From out in the hallway he could here the shuffle of feet. He knew who they were and simply sat there and waited. Sure enough, Dean and his dad were wordlessly entering the room, Dean shutting the door behind them. Sam didn't need to look up at his father or his brother, he could feel the tension and the seriousness coming off them like heat even from all the way where he sat.

Then two pair of feet came into his line of vision with the floor. The sound of the springs creaking from the other queen sized bed across from him told Sam that his father and his brother were sitting across from him. Taking in a deep breath to steady his nerves, Sam slowly straightened himself up in the way he was sitting and finally faced his family.

Sam Winchester had faced two whole years of full out war and all of it's uncertainties and survived it to come home. He had faced it all without much fear because he was a trained soldier. But right now as he met his father and brother's duel gazes, Sam felt a small icy cold tendril fear grip his heart. John and Dean stared at their youngest with an intensity that would've frightened even the most hardened of men. They were all but boring holes into the young man sitting before them. It was John who finally broke the silence.

" We have some things that need to be talked about Sammy."

" Y-Yeah, I figured we did." Replied Sam softly with a small nod of acceptance.

The next thing he knew, large callous roughened hands were firmly seizing him by the sides of his head and pulling him forward till his face was mere inches away from that of his father's mutely furious looking visage.

" Oh, you figured. Well, I guess you figured out a lot of things didn't Samuel." Gritted out John. Beside him Dean looked at war with himself on whether or not to come to Sam's aid or let his father continue in what he was doing.

To John's silent pride, Sam did not look away or flinch at his words. He stared back at him in full acceptance of whatever was going to come.

" I am so proud of you Sam that I feel like my hearts gonna explode inside me. But at the same time I am so mad at you I can hardly think straight." Began John. Both Dean and San nodded at his words before he continued.

" Why didn't you come to me or to Dean when you had that dream? Why didn't you tell either of us right after you had it?" Asked John desperately.

Sam licked suddenly dry lips and swallowed passed the painful lump that had formed inside his throat before he answered his father's question.

" I was... I was scared Dad. The dream, it... It felt so real. I could feel blood from you both spilling onto my face, I could feel the heat from when the flames started. I can still hear his voice in my ear, I can still see you both on the ceiling. I didn't... I couldn't risk that thing coming after you both if I told, so I... I ran. Like a coward, I ran away." Gritted out Sam.

" You are not a coward Sammy. A little bit of an idiot maybe, but not a coward. So don't you dare go callin' yourself that. I won't stand for it." Said Dean vehemently. He felt his heart clench painfully when he'd heard Sam call himself a coward. That was the very last thing his baby brother was or ever would be.

" That goes for me too Son, cowards don't face war and come back. You are definitely not a coward, you're a Marine." Said John gruffly as he gave Sam's head a small shake to try and knock this sense into him.

Sam felt his eyes sting with salt and did his best to blink back the tears and get his voice steady before he spoke.

" Thanks for saying that."

" Always Sammy." Replied Dean while John just nodded and eased his grip a little on Sam's head. Then Dean spoke.

" God, I'm just so mad at you Sam. I mean, you were gone for years, for years and you could have died out there, and look at you now, your so beat up and hurt. You should have come to me or to Dad Sam, not lied and left us like that. You just took every single hit we threw at you. Sammy you didn't deserve all the crap me and dad put on you. How could you just let us keep hurting you like that?" Asked Dean, and he didn't bother hiding the tears welling in his own eyes as he stared at his brother.

Sam just gave a small shrug as he answered.

" I didn't mind it all that much. I knew you guy's didn't know what was really going on. And... I part of me felt I did deserve it all." He said, with his eyes going to the ground when he uttered the last part.

" Sammy." Dean breathed in disbelief.

Both Dean and John realized how deeply embedded Sam's self-deprecation and self-flagellation were. They would have to make their youngest see differently now that they finally had him with them.

" Dad, Dean, I'm so sorry." Said Sam softly.

" We know you are Sammy, I'm sorry to for driving you away like I did. Now I really wish you had gone to Stanford instead of where you ended up. God Sammy, monster and ghosts, and all of those things that were hunt I can somehow deal with have you boys face. But war, all out war caused and fought by humans. I never wanted you to face that, I never wanted you or Dean to ever face anything like that. You see the worst of humans out there, I'd rather have you both facing the stuff people see in their nightmares than to see that. But now, you've seen it, I know you saw the worst in people out there and the innocent victims that got caught in the middle. God, believe me I know, I have seen it to back in 'Nam. I swore I'd never let my kids experience something like that. But look what's happened, I failed at that anyway. And now you, my baby boy went went and saw it, lived through it." John's voice broke at this last part and had both Sam and Dean's hearts breaking.

" No Dad, don't think that." Assured Dean.

" Dad you didn't fail. I brought it on myself when I enlisted. The horrible things I had to go through are on me dad, it was my choice. You are not a failure." Said Sam, meaning every words of it.

With a shaky breath John spoke.

" Sammy, you're home now. This means I gotta get a promise outta you." Said John.

" What do want me to promise?" Asked Sam.

" I want you to promise me and your brother right here and right now that you are never gonna pull a stunt like this one ever again." Said John.

" Dad I-" Sam began when Dean cut him off.

" Promise us Sammy. Promise me and Dad both that you won't do something like this to us ever again. Promise us." Said Dean.

" I promise, I promise I won't leave you like I did ever again. I promise." Said Sam, in the back of his mind he hoped with all that he had in him that he actually could keep this promise.

" Swear it Sam." Said Dean.

" I swear." Answered Sam.

" Swear it on you mother that you won't." Said John finally with deadly seriousness.

This had both Dean and Sam breaking just a little more.

" I-I... I swear on Mom that I won't. I swear." Said Sam with a small sob as he finally let the wall crumble and let the tears spill out in full force.

John let out a deep breath and felt some of the emotions that had been eating at him diminish, but it didn't totally disappear. Only time and having his youngest son would be able to to that. Dean felt himself grow lighter upon hearing his baby brother's solemn promise. He knew that Sam would not be one to go back on his word but, Dean had no intention of letting his brother out of his sight from now on. His and his father's vigilance would be ten-fold now, though they would try their best to be discreet, they would do their very best to ensure that Sam never did what he did right under their noses ever again.

John relinquished his tight hold on Sam's face and drew his wayward offspring to him in a careful but still slightly crushing embrace. His boy was injured severely after all. Sam let his eyes fall shut and rested his cheek against his fathers shoulder and then the warmth surround him. Dean sat back and watched his father and brother in silence, not wanting to ruin the moment between them. Then before he knew it John's strong arm was hooking his around the shoulders and pulling him into the embrace. Not really caring about just how much estrogen was floating around in the room now, Dean wrapped his arms around his father and Sam.

" You bet your ass you better swear it Sammy. You do something like what you did I will kill you myself. Two years Sammy, we were robbed of two years. Don't you dare do something like that again, don't you fucking dare do something like that again. Please don't you dare." Said Dean with a small sob of his own before he pressed his forehead to Sam's and let his own eyes fall shut, tears still leaking through the seams of his eye-lids and down his cheeks.

Then both Sam and Dean felt a hand alternate in stroking across their heads.

Dad.

The three Winchesters sat there not saying a word now, just the restrained sounds of a family letting go of some of the hurt and the guilt that they had all been carrying for more that two years now. It was with letting go that they could all move foreward.

A few Weeks later...

" Boys, are you all packed and ready?" Called John from downstairs as he pulled on his heavy winter jacket.

" Yes Sir." Came to perfectly synchronized responses from upstairs.

" Well then get down here, it's time to go." Said John as he picked up his own duffel bags and headed out the front door of Pastor Jim's house. Bobby Singer had already headed back to South Dakota while Caleb Reeves had gotten a call and gone off to Wisconsin to help out a fellow hunter. These two had bid everyone a fond farewell for now, especially Sam before they headed off back to their own lives.

Now it was the Winchesters and Pastor Jim who were heading back into life.

They would be headed to Blue Earth, Minnesota to drop pastor Jim off at his home before the three Winchesters would be headed off to the next job they could find.

" Dean just focus of carrying your own bags, I'm fine only my left arm's busted, I still got my right." Grumbled Sam as he and Dean made their way down the stairs to the first floor.

" Alright fine. Just sayin' this is the only time I'm gonna offer to carry anything for you. The second your fully healed you are on your own." Shrugged Dean.

" Dean I'm fine, honest." Said Sam softly as they reached the living room.

" Okay Sammy, just making sure." Said Dean with a warm smile. One which Sam happily returned.

" Thanks for that man." Said Sam.

" No problem, now enough cause it is way to early for a chick-flick moment." Grumbled Dean as he lead the way towards the front door.

" Jerk." Said Sam softly behind Dean.

Dean heard him and without looking, he spoke.

" Bitch."

Sam grinned in the broad famous way of his as he and Dean walked out of the house into the fresh, if still chilly New York morning air.

" No did you two make sure you didn't leave anything?" Asked Pastor Jim as he dug his house key out of his jacket pocket.

" Everything's accounted for Pastor Jim." Nodded Dean.

" Alright then." Said Pastor Jim as he pulled the front door shut and locked it thoroughly. The caretaker would be by in a few days to keep an eye on the place.

With that Pastor Jim and the Winchester brothers made their way down the front steps and over to where a gigantic black Sierra Grand truck and a sleek black Chevy Impala were waiting.

" Alright Jim, hop on in." Said John as he pointed to his car with his thumb.

" Got it." Nodded Jim before he went and around to the truck's passenger side.

John walked with his boys over to the Impala and then spoke to Sam where they all stood before the car's open trunk.

" You alright Sammy." He asked eying his son with slight concern.

" Yeah, I'm okay Dad, still aches here and there but it's not as bad as it was in the begining." Answered Sam.

" Good to hear." Nodded John.

He lingered and watched his boys pack their bags into the trunk. Then Sam suddenly had a slightly sad look on his face as he eyed the various weapons and gadgets the trunk held within.

" What's the matter Sammy?" Asked Dean. John too eyes his boy.

Sam sighed and then bowed his head as he spoke.

" Oh, it's nothing really. It's just that..." Sam trailed off.

" What is it Sam?" Asked John.

" It's just that, I miss my M16." Said Sam, then he pushed out his bottom lip making a corning sad face and fighting back a grin.

There was a beat of silence and then, both Dean and John burst into hearty guffaws of laughter. Then Sam was joining in.

" Oh God, just get in the car. We've got a long drive to Minnesota ahead of us." Sighed John before he turned and headed back to his own truck, still chuckling as he went.

Dean and Sam stood there giggling for a few seconds to themselves before Sam tossed his final back into the trunk.

Still smiling, Dean spoke.

" Your ready little brother?" He asked.

Sam smiled back at Dean and nodded.

" Yeah, I'm ready." Sighed Sam before he turned his gaze back down at the trunk.

He pressed his uninjured hand to the top of the trunk and then spoke.

" We got work to do."

Then the trunk was shutting with a dull thud.

The End

Well, this is the end of Soldier Boy. I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed and loved this story. And stay tuned because I am contemplating a sequel that parallels the seasons of the show. This may be the end... For now. Again, Thank you all.