A/N: I don't own One Piece.

Thirty Ways to Annoy Zoro

Tell him Cabaji is so much cooler than him.

Dye his hair blue while he's sleeping.

While you are eating with the rest of the Straw Hats, talk incessantly about how he and Sanji are in a physical relationship.

Replace his swords with rubber chickens.

Sing 'What do we do with a drunken sailor?' whenever he's trying to sleep.

Glue his swords to the floor of the Thousand Sunny.

Tell him Sanji is so much cooler than him.

Switch all of the weapons of the Straw Hat crew around while they're sleeping.

Steal his trousers.

Steal his swords.

Tell Nami that Zoro is secretly hot for T-Bone.

Dye his bandana and trousers pink.

Tell him his swords are 'bent', in the sexual way.

Forge Zoro's handwriting on a love letter to Mihawk.

Spike both Robin and Zoro's drinks with a strong aphrodisiac, then lock them both in a room together. Steal Zoro's swords so he can't cut his way out.

Film the ensuing action with a hidden camera, then put it up on Youtube.

Convince Chopper that Zoro's swords are actually reindeer bones with metal coating.

Switch Mihawk and Zoro's clothes while they're sleeping.

Tell Tashigi that Zoro is a fan of her boobs.

Sellotape his swords to Nami's ass.

Sellotape his mouth shut while he's sleeping.

Somehow train Usopp to Luffy's level. Get him to wear his Sogeking outfit, then get him to challenge Zoro. Laugh as Zoro loses.

While he and Tashigi are sleeping, strip them both naked and put them in the same bed together. Watch their horror as they wake up, and laugh..

Put up stick-figure drawings of him and Tashigi holding hands all over the ship.

Glue Luffy's hat to the ceiling.

Spray paint all of the Thousand Sunny entirely black.

Sing the Dalek song very loudly whenever he's talking.

Tell him swords are for losers.

Tell Chopper that you heard Zoro talking about murdering him in his sleep.

Wipe your bogies on his swords.