Who was he?
That was the question on everyone's lips after the chaos of celebration faded and ended. They started to remember what happened.
The people in the cavern, who fled with Hagros, had encountered him, they say. This stranger. This saviour.
Rumours started to circulate amongst the townfolk of how the Doctor had single-handedly beaten the creature, with a little help of course.
They say a Peacekeeper woman was there with him, and a Peacekeeper boy. They say the Doctor was a Sebacean himself, but Hagros, who had since then not participated to this gossip, told them otherwise, telling them he could impossibly be a Sebacean.
Then what was he?
The bar was now a desolate place, where no-one feared to tread.
But on its roof, a strange blue box stood. All by itself. It stood where at first nothing stood at all. And the townsfolk knew what this had to mean.
Diolan and Baelen had tried to reconcile with Jaleeth, but she only questioned them for information about the Doctor in the end, and they left.
Jaleeth did manage to get some out of them in the end, and more stories were created and were spreading through the settlement like fire.
Now everyone knew of the mysterious Doctor with the sword of lightning, which Diolan saw in his feverish dream he claimed, not knowing he was wide awake.
But there were still no answers, which Aeryn would not give them.
Transports filled with many people who had fled when the creature first attacked, returned as soon as they heard the news of its defeat.
Lyan Nektar quickly took back his throne as leader of the settlement, and his elite guards which had first guarded the Viridimon's bar during their possession, now returned to guard Monarch Nektar and his entourage in the large house at the edge of the settlement.
But alongside Nektar's arrival, there came the Peacekeepers, who started to ask questions about the incident, about the monster, about the Doctor. They investigated the happening and only came to one conclusion.
They thought they had figured out the Doctor's identity. They thought he was John Crichton, and the Doctor was just his alias.
The townsfolk couldn't believe what the Peacekeepers were claiming, unable to grasp the fact that the infamous John Crichton, who had blown up a Gammak Base, a Shadow Depository and a Peacekeeper Command Carrier, who was said to be a thug and a murderer, a thief and a menace, had just stood among them; had just saved their lives.
Of course, they remembered the reports now.
They remembered how it told of an escaped Leviathan prison transport, Crichton, a Luxan, a Delvian, a Nebari, and a Peacekeeper deserter, whose name had been Aeryn Sun.
Peacekeepers stormed through the streets of the settlement searching for the fugitive, even when Solem tried to tell Captain Gladius that it was she who had saved all their lives.
But the dear captain would not budge, feeling obligated to fulfill his duty, and feeling somehow robbed of his vengeance. Therefore he chased after Aeryn, ignoring Solem's pleas for mercy as he once ignored the possessed Lyan.
Solem and his men quickly moved Aeryn off the asteroid and to a safe location in another starsystem, to avoid detection by the Peacekeepers, using their own power within Peacekeeper ranks to disguise her.
They were of course, in name and special assignments only, part of the Peacekeepers and in their service.
But Aeryn refused to leave.
She felt glad to be finally leaving this place, but she stayed, knowing there was one final thing she was supposed to do. Something she should have done in the first place.
Aeryn froze as she stood in front of the deserted bar and looked up. Just over the edge of the roof she could see the top of a tall wooden box. The Doctor's supposed space-ship, but Aeryn could not even picture the frelling thing move for one inch on its own. She quickly entered the bar to avoid being seen by the townsfolk who walked by. The haunting scent of death lingered still after the death of the Viridimon's body. It had not been removed.
All feared the Viridimon still.
The door was heavier than Aeryn expected it to be. It opened with an accompanying shriek as the door collided with the floor.
Bad memories of the first time she entered this bar returned to Aeryn, and in her mind she was back in that uncomfortable situation, with Mairic pointing his gun at Diolan: the test they had prepared for them which was disturbed by the Doctor.
Aeryn ignored those flashbacks and headed upstairs, trying to think of what to say to the Doctor when she would finally reach the roof again.
Her goodbye to the Doctor was cold and brief, and she wished to rectify that.
Strange noises and a gust of wind reached her ears, increasing in noise as she got closer to the roof.
She increased her pace and pushed open the door with one swift and strong motion.
Aeryn gasped as she reached the roof, filling her lungs with cold air.
The blue box was gone.
''Thank you for doing this.'' Aeryn whispered to Solem as she and her ship were hidden inside an old freighter, about to set off to a location only known to Solem's group.
''You should not even mention it.'' Solem said as he boarded the craft as well, together with his friends. ''We are glad to help you. You saved our lives. We owe you.''
But Aeryn did not feel the same way.
She looked at the settlement one last time as the doors closed, but never felt sorry for leaving. Not once.
And although the night had been so terrorized, the stars itself would give her nightmares, however Aeryn Sun looked at the stars of space with a renewed energy, as if she was looking upon an old friend she would gladly hug again.
Mairic's body had been found in the burnt wreckage of the bar's storage-room and was transported with them, so that they would be able to provide him with a proper funeral. A final goodbye.
Felias was also lost on the asteroid, yet since her body had been eaten by the Viridimon, they could only bid her farewell in spirit and prayer.
Mairic's funeral was sad, silent and unusally brief. His death was treated just as any other soldier who had heroically fallen in combat. Who had died honourably.
His body was shot into space, encased in the metallic casing of a disabled warhead. There he would rest forever, hopefully knowing his mistake did not cost him the lives of his friends. And Solem had forgiven him for his blind loyalty. He had forgiven his friendship. His passion.
For Solem asked Mairic forgiveness, closing his eyes as he touched the metallic casing with his fingers before it would be shot into space. He blamed himself, for he was the one who killed Mairic. It was his hand that pulled that trigger.
''It wasn't your fault.'' said Aeryn, to which Solem only nodded.
After landing, after many hours of flight, on to a barely populated planet called Pyranos, Solem brought Aeryn to an old mansion way up in the cold mountains. There she got to know Solem's group very well, as they told stories of their past missions and of how they joined Solem's Squad.
Diolan and Baelen sat together and almost never left each other's side. They sat around a big fire in the centre of the round chamber, decorated with beautiful red tapestries. They tried to impress the infamous Aeryn Sun with stories of their own, and as beverages and food was passed, the conversations grew more wild and erratic and fun, but Aeryn's part in these conversations was small, although they kept urging her to tell about the Gammak Base, the Shadow Depository and the Command Carrier she was rumored to have destroyed. She did not give any details, but as she confirmed their suspicions they roared loudly and laughed.
After she was done talking and the conversations moved away from her, she would remain silent and only listen. But whenever she would look into Solem's eyes, he would kindly look back and say nothing, understanding her need for silence, and understanding why she kept pushing them away and hid herself.
''Tell her about our encounter with those spiders!'' Diolan yelled excited. ''On that planet...tell her, Kapca!''
Kapca was a woman who sat at Aeryn's left side, with bright white hair and pitch black eyes, white fingernails and a hint of a soft grey colour in her neck: she was the daughter of a Sebacean and a Nebari. Unheard of, and rare, but still possible. She was living proof.
Aeryn faked interest in her story as she leaned forward, clutching the warm blanket around her waist in the cold room.
After Kapca was done telling her story she laughed just like the rest were laughing, and Solem laughed too, only his laugh turned into a bad, no, horrible cough. Everyone gazed at Solem, not daring to say anything. Not even daring to think the worst.
Solem's health had gone downhill ever since the Viridimon left his body, and all knew that must be the cause of it.
The Viridimon must have screwed up his mind and body so much that it was left damaged when he was ripped out of it.
And it would only take a while for him to recover.
Yes, it would.
At least, that is what everyone kept saying, kept hoping as his coughs grew worse every day.
Mallo offered Solem his blanket, but he declined, looking upon Aeryn as he said: ''I'm tired. You can all do whatever you like, stay up till dawn...I don't care. I'm just going to go to my chamber and leave you crazy people alone!''
The group laughed only slightly, almost forced to laugh at their leader's joke as he stood up and left the room smiling. As he reached the door, he only looked back once to look right into Aeryn's eyes.
Now Aeryn knew she was supposed to follow him.
She left the group without saying anything and followed Solem into the next room, where Aeryn saw that a sleeping bunk had been prepared for Solem, in the barely decorated, candlelit room. Solem stood by the window, gazing outside.
The night was aging and beautiful. Snow descended upon the grounds and the white, beautiful mountain-tops gazed right back at Aeryn as she stood beside Solem. In the reflection of the window she gazed right into Solem's eyes.
''Are you all right?'' asked Solem.
His voice was warm and kind, yet hurt.
''I was going to ask you the same thing.'' replied Aeryn.
Solem sighed.
''I'll be fine.'' he said.
His words were overshadowed by the horrible cough which followed, and Aeryn heard how a dozen of Peacekeepers in the room she had just left grow silent.
''I'll recover. Don't worry.'' Solem added after he wiped his mouth. ''It's just that I won't be able to lead my men in this unstable condition.'' Aeryn nodded, before saying: ''I understand.''
''So therefore...'' Solem went on. ''I want to appoint someone to take my place, for the time being.'' Aeryn began to realise where this was going. ''This someone will automatically become my second-in-command, filling the gap which lingered by Mairic's death, and will be the leader of this Squad until I recover.''
And before Aeryn could say something, Solem turned around and said: ''And I want it to be you.''
Aeryn breathed deeply before she dared to say anything. ''Isn't it early to promote me?'' she finally said. ''Shouldn't you promote someone else, someone...''
''You have already proven yourself.'' Solem spoke. ''Even more than that. My men know that they can trust you.''
''Can they?'' Aeryn asked herself, but she could not come up with the question. Not yet.
''Will you accept?'' Solem asked, and a pause followed.
''Of course.'' said Aeryn, unable to refuse him.
Time went on as the night progressed into day, and Aeryn found herself sleeping through it, and waking up the day afterwards. Instead of dawn it was now dusk, and if she hadn't seen the sun set, disappearing behind the white mountains, she would have never believed any of them as they told her.
A part of her did not want to wake up, for she would wake up in an unfamiliar world. Where trust had to be earned and friends had to be made. All had returned to the start, and Aeryn was reminded of the first day on Moya, living her new life as a fugitive, among fugitives.
But this time, she did not want to make friends. A soldier does not need friends and should not get too emotionally attached.
She could not survive another broken heart.
Aeryn did not sleep, yet did not leave her room.
She had a long and disturbing dream, hearing a distant voice cry for help. A woman's voice, sounding distorted and in terrible pain. Aeryn could not reach her. She could not find her. And when she had finally woken up, she still hadn't found the source of the distress-call.
She shook off this strange, depressing dream as she turned around in her bed, feeling terrible, but unable to sleep.
So she faked sleep whenever someone would enter. She could hear Solem's cane tapping on the floor as he visited her, but she did not open her eyes.
She wanted to be alone.
She ignored the cold. She ignored the freezing sensation which crawled up her spine every time a cold gust of wind would blow in her face.
Aeryn had to fight her way through the many layers of thick snow and ice as she climbed the mountains, passing through valleys of snow which laid untouched in front of her, like a blanket of snow which covered the mountains.
One false move could lead Aeryn to an untimely end. One wrong step could lead her into a gulch underneath the snow, or create an avalanche which would bury her in snow, making her part of the mountain.
But she did not care.
Somehow she enjoyed this sense of danger. Somehow she felt strong and confident in these icy surroundings.
A headache tormented her, ever since she accepted her sudden promotion. A slight headache, an annoying pain and thought inside her head which kept warning her for mistakes, but most of all, the consequences of those mistakes.
The decision to accept that promotion had seemed so easy. Perhaps she expected it to be harder. Perhaps she expected there to be some sort of punishment.
A punishment for the fact that something good had happened. Aeryn expected for fate to come round and kick her down again, but it didn't come.
Aeryn pushed her own senses to the limit. She enjoyed feeling the adrenaline flow through her veins as she put her own body's strengths to the test. The cold gripped her, the steap, rocky hill which kept on going up defied her stamina. She clenched her fists as she forced herself to keep going, ignoring the pain, until she could no longer feel it. The cold numbed her senses and Aeryn gradually turned into an unstoppable machine, with no emotions. No pain.
Was this what she wanted? Is this not what she had always wanted?
Is this not why she contacted Solem in the first place? To join his team?
Aeryn looked down into the valley below, where she could see the base of operations, the old mansion, a black stain in the white snow. Its roof was covered in snow and ice.
Aeryn measured the distance and how far she had walked. She had started to walk very early in the morning, but now it was almost midday. She felt it was time to return to the mansion.
She looked up at the bright blue sky and saw the silhouette of a lonely bird in the pale, bright, morning sun.
The bird cheerfully spread its wings as it circled the mountain-tops, following the lonely figure which was running through the snow below.
''You probably think I'm crazy, don't you?'' said Aeryn to the bird, knowing fully well it could not understand or hear her.
''Should I?'' a voice suddenly said behind her.
It was Kapca. She was wearing a big, furry, black coat with many layers, and a matching pair of black pants and boots. With her bright, white hair the young hybrid seemed to belong in these beautiful white mountains. She approached Aeryn with a feisty, challenging and cheeky smile, and the more she got closer, the more Aeryn could see how young she still was.
Aeryn couldn't help but think back to when she herself was that young. So naive.
When she was a soldier. Someone who follows orders and does what she's told to do. Merely a soldier. One of many.
And look at her now.
She had changed so much in so little time, for how much is one year in a Sebacean lifespan? How much is three? Years pass as quickly as day follows night, as swiftly as hours turn into memories, which fade away slowly as life goes on.
And end.
''Here.'' Kapca said. ''Solem wanted me to give you this.''
She handed a strange piece of fruit to Aeryn. cradling it in her bare hands, showing her beautiful, polished white nails.
''You missed breakfast.'' she explained. ''He figured you'd be hungry.''
Aeryn glanced only once at the fruit, before she threw it away with a mighty throw. Far away into the white, snowy distance.
''I'm not hungry.'' Aeryn said, gazing defiantly into Kapca's eyes.
Kapca merely smiled as she reached into her pocket.
''He knew you'd say that.'' she said, revealing a rolled up piece of paper from her coat-pocket, bound by a string.
Aeryn wondered what that could be. Orders, perhaps?
Aeryn tore the string off and read the paper.
''What does it say?'' Kapca asked.
Aeryn waited to answer her question until she read the whole letter.
''It's our new assignment.'' she said.
Two days later they exited the freighter and stepped out into a clouded day.
The winds were warm on this unknown planet.
Solem's informants had lead his team to a grey and grim planet of ruin and rust, with only one thing on their minds.
Someone would die today.
The team gathered around Aeryn, who now held a position of power in the team. A position of leadership and responsibility, which no-one argued, doubted or questioned.
With her reputation, their common history and Solem's support, the group of Peacekeepers she now commanded would now listen to her every word. Act on her every decision and whim. Disloyalty did not exist.
As Mallo and Diolan carried the suitcases and boxes out of the freighter, Aeryn gazed into the sun, wearing dark sunglasses and her dark green vest under a black leather jacket.
This was all new to her. So different.
Aeryn faced her new assignment, one which she, although she would never admit it, dreaded and feared.
She had always known how to handle a situation, but this was just different. She was now officially their leader, and Aeryn knew that whatever she said would be carried out without question or doubt.
And if she was wrong...
Aeryn tried not to think of that.
Everything had gone as planned so far. There was little that could go wrong now.
The streets were empty. The natives shy. They feared the Peacekeepers, as they should.
The buildings around them seemed to fall apart. They seemed ancient and rusty and faded and grim.
This entire planet seemed to be mourning a loved one's demise. There was no hope here.
But if this really was a planet of death, than there was no better place for them to be.
For they were assassins.
Their business was death.
Their intended target was only a few hours away from death. The large grey plaza was empty, but it would soon fill with people.
The place had been scouted before, but they did it again anyway.
The target was the prime-minister of a consortium of planets, with this grim planet being its capital.
He was corrupt, and only used the money generated from high taxes to strengthen his own luxurious position, not caring for the population's wishes.
But that would soon change.
Diolan and Baelen acted as scouts as the crowd gathered slowly into the plaza.
Banners and flags were forcefully shoved into people's hands so that it would generate a false sense of happiness and loyalty to this minister. Of satisfaction and adoration.
But the population, all dressed in long black robes and hoods, cared little for the minister and his entourage, knowing that little would change their depressing situation.
''He's here.'' Baelen said.
The team wore earpieces and microphones with which they communicated.
Aeryn stood in the plaza's centre, overseeing everything. Exits. Security. The target's future position and her own team's positions.
Kapca and Mallo stood ready, gazing into the lens of a sniper rifle at the street below, waiting for the minister's arrival.
The transport soared over the buildings and landed suprisingly gracefully in the street. The doors opened and a parade of body-guards came out of the transport and spread into the street.
Aeryn stood motionless among the people in the centre of the plaza, listening to her team's comments as the minister stepped out of the transport, waving at the people as if he was loved, not hated.
Aeryn wore a black hood, so that she wouldn't stand out in the crowd, yet she felt very strange.
She felt vulnerable. She felt as if she was being watched.
Aeryn gazed at the rooftops of the buildings in front of her, and she could've sworn she saw the silhouette of a tall man standing in the bright sunlight, before disappearing quickly out of view...
''Focus, everyone.'' said Aeryn. ''The moment has arrived.''
The minister walked towards the podium which had been prepared for him.
Kapca and Mallo followed him with their eyes and with their fingers barely touching the trigger.
Everything would soon be over. Everything had gone perfectly, yet Aeryn felt terrible, as if something was about to go wrong.
And still she couldn't help but feel like someone was watching her.
''He's improvising!'' Hexo cried and Diolan confirmed his suspicions.
The minister walked towards the crowd, instead of towards the podium.
''I've lost him!'' Mallo cried.
Aeryn ignored the urge to grap her earpiece and start yelling instructions. Doing so would give away her position and intentions immediately.
Guards were everywhere, looking into the crowd for people like Aeryn.
''My shot is blocked! I can't see him!'' Kapca yelled.
''Frell.'' Aeryn said.
Everything was going wrong.
''Do we abort?'' Diolan asked.
Aeryn ignored her gut instinct which was telling her to abort the mission and instead decided to finish what she started. This was her first mission. If she would frell this up, they would never trust her again.
''No, we do not abort.'' she said.
She slowly left the crowd as the minister started greeting everyone.
Aeryn did not run, or sneak, or yell, or cry. She walked as if nothing was going on. As if everything was fine.
She tried not to draw too much attention to herself, to avoid detection by the bodyguards and it worked.
When she was finally able to disappear into a dark alley-way she pulled off her hood and ran like hell.
It was time for Plan B.
Dark windows of the tall, grey buildings around her seemed like eyes which followed her.
She ran through the alley-ways searching for a green door. She pushed it open when she found it and ran up the old staircase with a swift caution; the old wood would crack and make her fall if she would press her full weight upon the stairs.
Swiftly she ran, ignoring the webbed paintings of old inhabitants long deceased, which she had seen before when she stepped into this building a few hours before, and entered a empty dark room with one window.
And in front of that window stood the third gun. Aeryn's Plan B.
This gun had full view of the plaza, yet was deemed unnecessary by Solem. He said two guns were sufficient, but Aeryn knew that Murphy's law knew no boundaries. She ignored that awful feeling whenever she was reminded of Crichton and gazed into the weapon.
The words of the minister echoed loudly across the plaza, speaking of peace and prosperity and a new era of grandure, but Aeryn did not listen to his words, as she zoomed closer and closer in on his lips.
''Stay calm and remain in your positions.'' Aeryn spoke through her microphone. ''I will make the kill. When he falls, proceed with normal protocol and the plan we prepared.''
Still an uneasy feeling crept up Aeryn's spine, even when all seemed to have been saved, and she did not know why.
She gasped.
Aeryn couldn't have seen it from her previous position, for it stood just around the corner, perfectly placed on the sidewalk as if it had always stood there.
She now saw it in the corner of her eyes, yet she could not believe it was there.
Aeryn moved her gaze away from the corrupt minister and looked down into the streets, where she looked upon a familiar sight.
There it was.
The square, tall, wooden blue box stood radiant across the street, almost seeming to be smiling at Aeryn, knowing their eyes met.
''Doctor...'' Aeryn gasped.
''Hello, Aeryn.'' a kind voice behind her said.
Aeryn turned around to look at the Doctor, standing in the doorway, leaning against the wall with his right shoulder, with a casual and gentle smile on his face.
He was wearing the long brown coat, with the big black buttons, still, but underneath it the blue, pined striped suit was gone, replaced by a black, pined striped suit with matching pants, just like before, and for a moment Aeryn gazed at those strange white shoes, with a red lining.
''Surprised to see me?'' the Doctor said as he crossed his left leg behind his right.
''No.'' Aeryn heard herself say. ''No, I am not surprised.''
She couldn't help but concentrate on her own breathing, which seemed so loud and annoying.
In and out. In and out. She felt her heartrate increase and her hand shake because of it. The Doctor made her nervous, but most of all, he made her angry.
''However, I can't believe you chose this exact time and place for a visit," Aeryn said. "...but then again, when did the men in my life ever have a sense of good timing?''
The Doctor was struck by Aeryn's vicious comment and swallowed, and only then did Aeryn realised how sad that must have sounded.
''I know why you're here.'' spoke the Doctor. ''You're here to kill a man.''
Her team's voices yelled into her ears, asking why it took so long, but they seemed so distant. So far away.
The minister's speech went on, in the plaza below, but those words meant nothing.
''But why are you here, Doctor?'' Aeryn asked. ''Are you here to stop me?''
''No.'' the Doctor said. ''I am here to save you.''
Aeryn couldn't help but laugh.
''Save me?'' she said. ''Why do people always show up trying to save me?''
''Why do you need saving?'' a voice in her subconscious mind said to her.
''I...am...a big girl, Doctor.'' Aeryn said. ''I can make my own decisions.''
''Aeryn, is there something wrong? Do you need assistance?'' Mallo cried through Aeryn's earpiece.
''But I know you, Aeryn.'' the Doctor spoke. ''You fear you might be making the wrong decision. You fear making mistakes which will cost you everything. This...Aeryn. Killing this man, is the wrong decision.''
A cold fury was slowly building up inside Aeryn, and she hated herself for hating this good man, but she did.
''No, Doctor.'' Aeryn spoke vile. ''You don't know me.''
''Aeryn...'' the Doctor tried to say, moving away from the doorway, towards Aeryn.
''WHO ARE YOU to tell me what's right and what's wrong?!'' Aeryn cried, letting out all of the anger and doubts and rage which had been troubling her for so long. The uncertainties. The little things which annoyed her.
The things she never got to tell the Doctor on that fateful asteroid at dawn.
''Who are you, Doctor?'' Aeryn asked. ''Tell me, for I don't know. I've never known.''
She had trouble speaking, but the rage inside of her forced her to go on, and somehow it felt good to hurt the Doctor. It felt so good.
''You are but a wandering stranger in my eyes, Doctor.'' Aeryn went on. ''A reckless, dangerous man. A destroyer of worlds and a breaker of hearts. You wear a mask, Doctor. A mask which hides you from the world, the universe, from everything and everyone.''
The minister went on outside, her team was desperately crying for news and orders, but Aeryn did not care.
To see that hopeless, hurt look in the Doctor's eyes was priceless. Finally she got the retribution she wished for, ever since the Doctor left them in those sewers. Ever since the Doctor fell from the tower, leaving Aeryn with nothing but darkness and without hope or faith.
She was glad the Doctor had returned.
''That happy face of yours, Doctor.'' said Aeryn. ''That big smile. That hopeful gleam in your eye. It is nothing but an illusion, I understand that now, Doctor. It all makes sense.
You saw right through Solem's test and you saw right through the Viridimon's illusion. Why?
For you know all of illusions, Doctor. You are an illusion, Doctor.''
The Doctor stood in front of her, stripped of his defences, it seemed. A broken man.
''I see right through you, Doctor.'' Aeryn spoke proudly.
''You see right through me?'' the Doctor asked. ''Is that what you said?''
''Yes.'' Aeryn spoke defiantly.
''You see right through me?'' the Doctor repeated.
He paused for only a slight moment, before attacking Aeryn with an ancient, but kind strength. He could have ripped her apart with but six words, no wait, five, but he pitied this little girl. He had mercy for the broken hearted and for weak souls.
''You speak of illusions and masks with such delicate and easy words, Aeryn.'' the Doctor spoke. ''You see right through me, yet you only see what you want to see. Darkness, death and hopelessness and a grim, grey sky is all you see, but I see life. Does life scare you, Aeryn? Does love scare you?''
''No, Doctor.'' Aeryn spoke. ''You scare me. You terrify me.''
''And you know why?'' the Doctor spoke. ''Because of all masks in this universe and the next, yours is the greatest one of all. The mask you wear is that of thoughness and strength, but underneath lies the heart of a scared little girl, retreating to a grim life of rules and stability and death, just so that no-one would be able to break her heart for a second time. But you know what, Aeryn? Its not about broken hearts. Its about the time preceding it. It's about...''
''STOP IT!'' Aeryn cried, feeling her heart rage on inside her throat. ''Stop it. You speak of broken hearts so easily, Doctor, yet you do not know my pain. You don't, and you never will.
I've seen what's out there, Doctor. I've known love, and it's beautiful. Like a different life. A perfect life.
A life not meant for me...''
''You don't know that.'' the Doctor spoke. ''Don't give up on love, Aeryn. Don't continue on this horrid path you have chosen. This life of assassins and death. I beg of you, Aeryn, don't!''
Aeryn sighed.
''You just step through this door and order me to change my life?'' she said.
''I don't order you, I just...''
''You come and go so easily, Doctor.'' Aeryn said. ''You move on so easily without ever looking back. You don't mourn. You don't grieve. You live on. You move on. But its not like that for us mortals, Doctor. It's not.''
''I come and go, you say?'' the Doctor said. ''I merely travel. Restore the timeline to its original place whenever it needs a nudge, but I cannot become part of events. I have a time-machine. I travel through time and space knowing all that I can do, and all that I can't do.''
Aeryn couldn't help but ask.
''But what of the mistakes you have made? The lives that were lost.''
Her mind drifted off to a place far in the past. A monastery under attack. Women and children slaughtered by a horde of vicious men, longing for revenge.
A timeline she could not restore.
The image of sand slipping out of Crichton's hand popped into her head. A sad and haunting sight she would never forget.
Crichton...
''...Rose, Doctor, can you not save her?'' she asked.
''No.'' the Doctor answered ghastly. ''I can't. Tampering with your own timeline is the worst you could do. I shouldn't do it. I shouldn't even think of it.''
''But you do, don't you?'' said Aeryn.
''All the time.'' the Doctor said. ''Not a day goes by that I do not think of it. Its the most dangerous question a time-traveller could face. The most torturing question in the universe, contrived of only two words:
What if?''
Aeryn bowed her head, taking her eyes off of the Doctor as she shook the images of painful memories away. Of Crichton, stepping into his module with a trembling, dying hand...
''I cannot save Rose.'' the Doctor said. ''But you...you can save Crichton.''
Aeryn looked up at the Doctor with tears in her eyes.
''He died, yet he lived.'' he went on. ''See it as a second chance. Go to him. Leave this dreadful place and choose that other life.
A life of love, not death. Be a mother, not a soldier.''
Aeryn surprised the Doctor with a tormented laugh.
''Fate...it seems...has a cruel sense of humour, for I cannot go forward. And cannot go back. And now you...you're making me unable to stay, forcing me to choose.''
''Aeryn! He's leaving!'' Diolan cried into her earpiece, and Aeryn was reminded of the reason why she came to this planet in the first place.
She grabbed the gun and zoomed in on the corrupt minister. This dictator who deserved to die. Still, he might have a family. Someone who loves him. Someone who will miss him when he's gone.
''Don't kill him, Aeryn.'' the Doctor said. ''Don't do it. Leave. There's a time and a place for everything, Aeryn. Even for you.''
''But the road I must travel to get there is full of hardship, sadness and suffering. Don't lie to me. I see it in your eyes.''
''Aeryn...'' the Doctor tried to say.
''No, Doctor.'' Aeryn said. ''I do not trust in fate anymore. It has taken too many loved ones away from me. It cursed me. It has lead me through too many pains already.''
''So is this what you want?'' the Doctor asked. ''This life of danger and death and loneliness?''
''Is it any different than your life, Doctor?'' Aeryn said.
The Doctor did not know what to say to that, for she was right.
Aeryn zoomed in on the minister, who was heading to his transport with a smile on his face, and with one clean shot, one motion of a finger touching a trigger, life left the minister's eyes and he fell to the ground with a silent thud.
''I have made my choice, Doctor.'' Aeryn said as the crowd gasped and body-guards panicked. ''I have chosen my life.''
The Doctor sighed disappointed and defeaten.
''So be it.'' he said, before slowly turning around to leave the room.
He looked back only once, before he disappeared entirely, walking down the staircase with a sad, slow pace. "Goodbye, Aeryn." the Doctor whispered.
Aeryn communicated with her team as they planned to scatter and head for the arranged hide-out and rendezvouz, just like they planned.
Aeryn glanced back over her shoulder as she disassembled the parts of the gun she could not leave behind, only seeing the Doctor's hair swiftly disappear down the staircase.
She looked out the window at the mysterious blue box one final time before running away, knowing that this place would soon be crawling with bodyguards and security.
Little did she know that this would not be the last time she would ever see that blue box again.
THE END