Date Written: June 10, 2007

WARNINGS! There aren't really any significant warnings aside from shonen-ai and this fic being crack and to non avid users of the substance, this might be damaging to your mind. Crack is whack. However, I don't really think mine are all that extreme, so I wouldn't worry.

ALSO! I'm sure some of you are like, "Wait, isn't this just like 'The Sisters CLAMP: Tsubasa Edition!'?" Similar, but not the same at all. This is an entire story of my own creation, and it actually is more along the lines of myth since I'm going by the heroic journey, which I hate but it works here.

A/N: This will probably be my first Tsubasa fic that has an actual ending. I mean, there is "Is this my Wonderland?" but I've been thinking of deleting that, just 'cause it's now dull to me. It was okay, but since there's really no action in it, it's hard to go back and update it. So boring! I can write angst, there just has to be some huge plot going on in the back (I have a lot of original stories like that). But yeah, this will be my first that HAS an ending and I will probably finish! Yays!

Hope you enjoy!

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Once, in a land far, far away, there lived a young, hot knight who had an unquenchable thirst for blood. Some say it was because he knew nothing else about life due to his traumatic childhood. Others that his standards were too high when it came to relationships so he let out all of his sexual frustrations in battle. Either way, it worried the princess of the land greatly and she spent many a long nights desperately searching for a way to stop this needless killing. It wasn't until she let her mind wander aimlessly one day that she found the perfect solution that would benefit everyone most wonderfully.

"Kurogane," the princess, Tomoyo, began in the royal hall of order, "among the thousands of knights under my reign, you are my most trusted. And so it is with great honor I bestow upon you a quest of immense importance, the likes of which could easily turn the bravest of knights to jelly at the mere thought. Are you, brave sir, prepared for such a task?"

"Just tell me what it is already," Sir Kurogane answered.

"I'll take that as a yes. You are to go to the farthest reaches of the world and bring me back… a princess. Oh, and you have to rescue her." The lords and ladies of the court were in shock that the princess should assign such a daunting task to this barbaric knight.

"…What?" Sir Kurogane said, after a moment of reflection on his most honored mission.

"I'm sure you're in shock as to why I would assign such a daunting task to that of a barbaric knight as yourself."

"No, I'm wondering why you need a princess when you are a princess!"

"It is because I know that beneath your disturbing lust for blood and killing anybody that comes within twenty feet of me-"

"Hey, that royal clock changer had it comin'!"

"- is a heart that just yearns for adventure. And seeing how you aren't getting enough of such a thing, I shall send you on this long and strenuous journey to perhaps ease your incredibly wrong appetite for gore."

"What if it just grows?" After serving princess Tomoyo for more than half of his young life, Sir Kurogane had long ago figured out that it was best to just humor the girl most of the time.

"Oh, that won't happen! And there is always the possibility that you shall find a maiden most fair and swap your passion for killing for a passion for sex. Everyone in the court knows you desperately need it."

"I'll ignore that comment because I'm still wondering why the hell you need a princess! You got Souma!"

"Yes, I do! And I just love her so much!" Her lady in waiting, Souma, tried to hide her blush with a small laugh. "However, I am not allowed to make her princess clothes because she is not a princess. Oh, the angst of royalty!"

"Wait, you just want to make some girl princess clothes?! That's why you're sending me off on some damn 'quest'?!"

"Yes. Good bye, Sir Kurogane! I hope to see you again bearing a princess!" After her moving farewell, Princess Tomoyo pulled the nearby rope and the trap door beneath Sir Kurogane opened to begin his quest, which started with him wrestling a few alligators. On his way down, he could have sworn he heard a faint laughter along the lines of, "Oh ho ho ho!"

And so, after escaping the jaws of beasts most vile, thy daring knight set out on his most perilous pursuit of rescuing an unknown princess from an unknown evil in an unknown land. Not even a noble steed to accompany thee, thy brave hero is to surely face dangers of unimaginable terror, though mere insects to a warrior so powerful. Though, perhaps this is to be not be a journey of finding a princess for his princess, but to maybe find one's own heart?

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1.) Boring and short first chapter, but it's a prologue. It will get better, I promise!

A/N: The plot bunnies won't leave me alone. -throws one out window- I'm not complaining too much, but geez! I want to update my other stories, not create new ones that I'll have to update! I've resisted a few, but this and "Cloud Nine" just had to be posted. Darn confusing Tsubasa chapters sparking my imagination! -shakes fist with a plot bunny hanging off of it- Besides, there are too many angst fics out right now. Not enough crack and not NEARLY enough yaoi smexin' goin' on!

QUESTION! Can somebody help me with my ye olde English? I would love to have at least the last or first paragraph of each chapter have it, but I couldn't find a site that had some words. I can do it if I think about it for an hour (which I didn't here, by the way -sweat drop-), but I don't want to do that every time I write a chapter. Much appreciation!

You know what to do!

Please leave a review!

As always, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is welcomed with Flowrite twins! Group sigh!