Once Again, a nana fanfic

Once Again…

Summary: ...the two meet under the eyes of Fate. The red string still attaches them as their hearts go through so much. "It's hard to be human." ShinXReira Minor spoilers up to Ch. 62

If you haven't changed your mind

Soba ni ite hoshii yo Tonight

It was nothing but a dream.

Nothing but a dream...

She was kissing him…he was kissing her…she loved the feel of his lips on hers…it was so perfect. She pulled away.

"Shin-chan," she muttered, "we need to talk."

Did she do the right thing? It was so perfect the way it was!

It was nothing but a dream.

Nothing but a dream…

He was silent. She was silent. She was just talking to him…why was it all falling apart?

"I don't think we should see each other anymore…Shin-chan."

He froze, his Black Stones cigarette was still lit.

"If I cannot sing then…without TRAPNEST I am nothing…"

He stood up. He understood. Even at sixteen, seven years younger, he understood.

IT WAS NOTHING BUT A DREAM

NOTHING BUT A DREAM

She stood up…she was desperate to have him stay.

"We can still call each other and send emails! When the time is right, we can see each other again…!"

He turned to look at her. Was he sad or angry? Even he couldn't tell. She was being selfish.

"If you don't want to see each other then forget everything about me."

She froze. What was he saying? Was he angry at her? Why was everything falling apart?

"…Shinichi will also forget everything abut Reira-san…pretend nothing has happened between us."

ITWASNOTHINGBUTADREAM

He walked out the door. It clicked shut. He was gone.

ITWASNOTHINGBUTADREAM

She fell to the floor…tears streaming down her cheeks.

NOTHINGBUTANUTTERNIGHTMARE

"Hey this song is really good. The English parts are nice too," Takumi said.

"Really? Thank you!"

"How'd you come up with it?" Takumi asked.

"I've been a good girl…the god of music was watching over me," she replied, sadness in her voice.

"Shin-chan! How are you?" Hachi asked, holding little Satsuki in her arms. "I haven't seen you in weeks!"

Shinichi Okazaki, age twenty, smiled brightly at Nana Ichinose and patted her daughter on the head. They were all in room 707m just like the old days. "Hi mama! Hi Sa-chan!" he said, "I came to take a break from work."

"Always busy, my poor Shin-chan," she cooed. Hachi handed Satsuki to her "son" and looked for cups. "Thirsty?"

"Hai !" Shin replied. He smiled at Satsuki. "How are you, Sa-chan?" he asked, "are you behaving for mama?"

"Hai, Shin-niichan!" I've been good!" she giggled. "Shin0nii-chan, guess what? It is very important!"

"What is it Sa-chan?" he asked, pouting, "Tell me…please?"

"My fifth birthday is next week!" she giggled, "Papa said I could have a big party!"

Hachi placed two glasses of iced tea on the table and a juice box for Satsuki. "Shin-chan, are you free on Thursday? Satsuki wants her Onii-chan to be at her party."

Shin smiled and patted Satsuki on the head. "Why would I miss my imouto-chan's birthday?" he asked. "I'll bring lots of presents just for you!"

"Yay !" Naoki-san, Ren-san, Nobu-san, Ya-san, Shin-niichan, mama, papa, and…"

"Are they all going to the party?" Shin asked Hachi.

"Yes, Satsuki wanted them all to be invited," Hachi replied.

"Hai !" Satsuki exclaimed.

Shin grinned. "Are there no girls other than you and mama?" he asked his "sister."

Satsuki sat there thoughtfully. "Oh!" she said, after a short pause, "Reira-chan is coming!"

Hachi stared at Shin. She gave him cookies like she promised…but after what Takumi has told her…it bothered her so much. Shin was only sixteen.

"I don't sleep around anymore. I don't want a scandal."

Hachi sighed. Shin was only sixteen…a male prostitute no less. He didn't want a scandal…he didn't want BLAST to be talked about.

He didn't want BLAST to fall apart. Hachi was never subtle…Nana told her that. But it still bothered her.

"Does Shin-chan like Reira-san that much?"

Shin froze. Tears welled up in his clear eyes as his heart filled with the memories he has spent with Reira. "I…" tears were falling.

Hachi held his hand as he cried. Shin was only sixteen.

"I don't…know. Even when I do turn eighteen, will I still love Reira-san? And if I don't…does that mean that I never really liked her!?"

Hachi was heartbroken, even for Shin. He was only sixteen…did he need to worry about feelings of the heart like adults do?

Shin was so young…why does his heart have to be so confused?

"Shin-chan…"

"Reira, are you okay?"

Reira Serizawa, age (classified), blinked repeatedly and smiled at her friend and past band mate, Naoki. "I'm fine! Why ask? Nothing is wrong."

"Wah! Reira-hime is avoiding me!" Naoki cried. "I just wanted to give her the good news!"

"I am not avoiding you, Naoki. I was just being a tourist and enjoying the view."

Naoki pouted. "But we've been here so many times! Besides, what is there to enjoy? Japan is so much better than Switzerland!"

Reira sat down on the park bench. "Hmm…well, what is the good news?"

"I got an email from Takumi yesterday and," he paused, smiling, "it's from Satsuki-sama."

Reira squealed in delight. "Sa-chan! What did she say?" she pulled on Naoki's shirt. "What did my Sa-chan say?!"

Naoki chuckled. "Her birthday is next Thursday and Satsuki-sama invited us to her party!"

She squealed again. "We're going on the next plane to Japan and buying the absolute best present for Sa-chan!" she exclaimed, "Who else is going to be there? Ren and Takumi for sure…"

He sat there for a few seconds and then took out his PDA. After a moment or two, Naoki had the email opened. "My fifth birthday party is coming and everyone is invited," he read aloud, "that means mama, papa, Ren-san, Nobu-san, Ya-san, Naoki-san, (some girls from her class), Rei-chan and my Onii-chan," he stopped. "Wow…what a long list for a five year old, ne Reira-hime? Then again, Takumi is the papa…haha."

Reira's eyes widened. "She has an Onii-chan?"

Naoki nodded and continued with the email, "Shin-niichan is the bestest Onii-chan."

Ren hung up the phone and walked back to Reira.

CRACK! "Oh, Ren scared away the squirrel!"

They are not lovers. Ren is in love with Nana. He has always loved her. Reira was like a sister.

"I really wanted to go to Switzerland though," she said sadly. They were in London.

Reira acted like a such a little girl. The singing princess.

"Why Switzerland?" Ren asked. The snow was still falling.

Ren commented again on how Reira can be a little girl in nature.

Reira sighed. "I wanted to see the place where Shin-chan was born."

He froze.

"Maybe I can understand him better if I went."

Ren couldn't say anything. Don't cry, princess.

Shin's angry face flashed in her mind. Tears streamed down her cheeks. "I was the one who said we shouldn't see each other anymore…!"

Ren stared sadly at her. He hugged her as she cried. Nana was right.

BLAST and TRAPNEST were always intertwined.

Reira was like a little girl…don't cry, princess.

Satsuki was sleeping on her mother's lap. They were still in room 707 and Shin was still there as well. Hachi stared at him. Four years later and Shinichi Okazaki was taller and more handsome than before. He was no longer the confused sixteen-year-old…right? He was now a famous actor!

"What's wrong, mama?" he asked her, "You're staring at me funny."

"Shin-chan, are you okay?"

"Okay?" he cocked his head to the side. "I'm…okay…?"

Hachi shook her head. "Ne, Shin-chan, are you okay with Satsuki's party? Can you go?" Hachi figured there was no need to press the question further. He will talk to her when he wants to.

Shin chuckled. "Mama, you were never subtle with this kind of thing."

"Eh…!? Well, forgive me. But seriously…are you okay?" Hachi asked again. "About Reira-san?"

"Reira-san and I haven't really spoken to one another," Shin replied casually. "The last time we saw each other was the last performance of TRAPNEST, after Nana…disappeared."

She pushed on with questions, "So it's not going to be awkward is it? You're okay with seeing her?"

His head drooped low, but only slightly. "I…don't really know. I haven't talked about this in a long time…not since…"

"Shin-chan, if you don't want to go then Satsuki will understand…"

"I wouldn't do that!" Shin said. He grinned sheepishly. "Besides, Reira-san probably doesn't like me like that anymore." He chuckled. "Why should that bother me?"

Hachi frowned, but only slightly. "Does Shin-chan still like Reira-san?" she asked bluntly. Nana was right…Hachi was never subtle. "Do you…?"

Shinichi Okazaki just grinned.

"Shin-niichan…there must be about a million Shin's out there!" Reira muttered under her breath. What are the chances of this 'Shin-niichan' being the Shin-chan she knows? Last she saw him was in a commercial advertisement. He has grown up…he was no longer a child. Then again…he never really acted like one.

"Reira-hime! The plane is landing!" Naoki said, leaning over the airplane seat to meet her. "You can see the airport!"

Reira sighed. It was nothing to worry about. She told herself that many times that she didn't love Shin anymore…he probably forgot all about her…just like he said he would. So she had to forget all about memories as well. Just to be fair.

But…she always told herself not to cry anymore. So she, in her confused state, called Ren…the only one who knew about her relationship with Shinichi Okazaki.

"Hello?"

"Ren? It's me, Reira."

"Hey Reira, what's up?"

Why cry because it is over, she thought, I'd rather smile because it happened.

"Did you get Takumi's email? For Sa-chan's party…"

He paused. "Yeah, why? Didn't you get one?"

"Yeah I got one…but…"

"Ah…I know where you're going with this. It's about my secret lover isn't it?"

Reira sighed. "I really want to go to Sa-chan's party…"

It was Shinichi Okazaki's sixteenth birthday.

It was Reira Serizawa's twenty-third birthday.

That was a little something called fate.

Reira walked slowly down the stairs. There was so many people…how could she find him? All of sudden, she saw him, holding a glass in his hand, staring at her.

Shin winked.

Reira smiled.

That was a little something called fate.

They found each other amidst all these people.

That was a little something called fate.

Moments alter Takumi decided to ruin something so perfect…so sweet…

"You know what will happen when the pres finds out…all those scandals and tabloids," Takumi said, watching as the newly turned sixteen year old teen shivered in fear and disbelief.

"I don't want anything to happen to our little Reira," he continued. "At least wait until you're eighteen."

That was a little something called fate…

…ah, how cruel fate can be!

"Nobu-san! Nobu-san!" Satsuki ran across the huge living room, past many people, her long pigtails flying behind her. "Nobu-san! You came!" she squealed. Nobu grinned and picked up the birthday girl. "Did you bring me a present, Nobu-san?"

"Satsuki-chan, don't I get a hello first?"

Satsuki pouted. "Nobu-san ! It's my birthday!" she whined. "You're supposed to bring me a present! That's how birthdays work!"

"Hai, hai, Satsuki-chan," he muttered, putting her back on the ground. "I gave it to your mama for safe-keeping!"

Upon hearing that, the little girl ran away in search of her mother.

"Nobu!"

"Ren!"

The two guitarists saw each other and grinned. Only three seconds of conversing when a very loud drummer butted in. "Hey Naoki," Ren said calmly.

"Where's Satsuki-sama?" Naoki asked, looking around. "Reira-hime is looking for her!"

"Reira is here?" Nobu asked.

"Yeah! She really wanted to see Satsuki-sama!"

Nobu sighed. Ren sighed. Naoki sighed…but only because he felt left out.

There were a lot of people in the home of Ichinose. A little more people than expected…Okay, there was definitely TOO many people at a birthday party for a five-year-old. Well…then again…her father IS Takumi Ichinose.

Shin walked towards the kitchen, hoping to find more beverages. Twenty minutes of searching for the birthday girl can sure get a guy thirsty. He had the best present for her: a cute little hat with ribbons to go n that cute little head of hers. He grinned. Satsuki was the most adorable five-year-old.

"Shin-niichan!"

He saw Hachi and Satsuki in the kitchen…with papa Takumi.

"Shin-niichan!" Satsuki said again, embracing his legs. "You're finally here!"

"Ah, Sa-chan, happy birthday!" Shin said in delight, picking up the little girl. He carried her in his arms. "Are you having a good party?"

"Hai !!"

Hachi grinned and patted Shin on the back. "You're late, Shin-chan. Satsuki was looking all over for you!" she teased.

Shin frowned. "Gomen, Sa-chan…"

"It's okay! I forgive you!"

As Shin and Satsuki played around, Hachi sighed thoughtfully. From what Takumi has said…both Nobu and Reira were already at the party. "Shin-chan…"

"Yes mama?"

"Are you ready?"

Shin grinned and turned his attention back to Satsuki. "Ne, Sa-chan, am I ready?"

"For what?" she asked back innocently.

"For what Hachiko's demon lord has in store for me of course!"

"Nobu!" Reira pulled on his shirt, "Where's Sa-chan!"

Ren chuckled. "You mean Chibiko?" he said, "she wanted to get her present from mama Hachiko!"

Reira pouted and then proceeded to pull n Ren's shirt. "Where's Sa-chan! We were here for almost an hour! And I still haven't seen her!"

"Then let's look for Satsuki-sama!"

She nodded in agreement and split from her former band mates (plus Nobu of course. She felt a tug on her wrist and saw that Ren was holding it. "Ren…? What's wrong?"

"Just…be careful. Don't say things you don't mean or need to say," he muttered.

Reira stared at him in confusion. "Wha…?" Suddenly something in her mind clicked. She asked him slowly, "Is…he here?"

After a short silence, Ren replied, "You'll see," and walked away.

Reira spun around, looking at the various faces, hoping to find someone familiar. She walked towards the kitchen, her eyes still searching. But who was she searching for? Satsuki or…?

"Rei-chan!"

Reira broke into a huge smile as she spotted the little girl sitting on the kitchen countertop. "Sa-chan! Happy birthday!"

Satsuki smiled in response and motioned for her to come closer. Reira stood in front of Satsuki and froze. "What's wrong Rei-chan?" Satsuki asked, "You are all quiet!"

Standing behind Satsuki was the reason for Reira's silence…

"Rei-chan? You and Shin-niichan aren't talking!"

…Reira Serizawa and Shinichi Okazaki meet once more in a fateful encounter.

"My birthday is next week…I am going to be twenty-three!"

Shin blinked at her. "Hm?"

"I'm going to be an auntie! Do you know how wrong that is!?" Reira sighed. "I am eight years older than you!"

Shin chuckled. "But my birthday is next week too…so, that makes you seven years older than me!"

"Really?" Reira asked.

Shin nodded.

Silence…and then, "It must be fate!" Reira exclaimed.

Shin asked, "I thought you didn't believe in fate?"

Reira smiled at him.

These were just one of those special, precious moments that both Reira and Shinichi held dear…

It was a moment the two of them shared…

…all thanks to fate.

I thought Reira didn't believe in fate…?

Reira smiled at him.

"I do now."

Both Reira and Shin had their gazes locked on to one another…unmoving…silent…save for…

"Ah!" Satsuki cried, grabbing both Reira and Shin's hands. "You two haven't been formally introduced yet!"

Reira and Shin both stammered, "Sa-chan, now's not the--!!"

Satsuki grinned that little grin of hers. She lifted Shin's hand and said, "This is my Shin-niichan and this," she lifted Reira's hand, "is my Rei-chan!" Satsuki – Hachi's demon lord in disguise!? – then placed the two hands together in glee. "Shinichi Okazaki meet Reira Serizawa!"

It was silent again…pure silence. Reira expected to meet Shin but…not like this. She wanted a different encounter…something less awkward and without a smiling five-year-old staring at the two of them while maintaining a death grip on both of their hands which by the way were still together in a very uncomfortable situation.

"Well," Shin said, mustering up what little strength he had, "it's nice to meet you, Reira-san."

"Y-yes…likewise, Shin…kun," Reira held her breath. She wanted to cry …she wanted to run up to him and hug him and… "I missed you," she mumbled incoherently. She felt so weak…why was she falling prey to him once again?

Satsuki giggled. "Ne, Rei-chan, you're blushing, you're blushing! Is it because Shin-niichan is so handsome?"

Reira brought her hands to her face. "Eh? Really?" she asked playfully, avoiding the question.

She didn't notice Shin staring at her.

…

tatoeba kanau nara mou ichido anata no tame ni

utaitai kono uta wo

owaranai story taema nai itoshisa de

tell me why oshiete yo zutto eien ni

It was after another one of those concerts. Nothing more, nothing less.

TRAPNEST was huge. BLAST was invited backstage.

Nothing more, nothing less.

That's when it all started. The course of something wonderful…of something perfect.

"Ah! You're so cute! Come play with your Onee-chan!"

She was famous. He was gorgeous.

Nothing more, nothing less.

It was part of the job. The card he gave was the card she received…to keep in contact.

"Shinichi Okazaki at your service. I don't come cheap!"

She was just teasing. He was just teasing.

Nothing more, nothing less.

That's when they met and eventually fell in love. But in the beginning…it was never about love.

"How are you Shin-kun?" she asked him. They were alone in the kitchen. Satsuki was with her mama, greeting the many guests at the party. Satsuki could very well be Hachi's demon lord in disguise…but maybe only at that moment.

Shin chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Reira asked in curiosity. "It's just been a long time since we've seen each other!"

"Gomen, Reira-san. It's just that no one has called me 'Shin-kun' in a very, very long time," he said. "It sounds weird hearing it, especially coming from you."

Reira blushed, but only a little.

"I'm doing okay. How about you?"

"Just wonderful!" she exclaimed. "It surprised me to see you here, Shin…"

Shin chuckled again. "Everyone nowadays calls me 'Shin-chan' so I guess…"

"Shin-chan."

He froze, his grin slowly fading away. Hearing her call him Shin-chan was almost…alien to him. He hasn't heard 'Shin-chan' from Reira in a very long time.

"Shin-chan," Reira said again. She covered her mouth as the nostalgic feeling rushed into her. She once again successfully fought back tears. "Shin-chan," she repeated, this time in a low whisper.

"Reira-san, it was…a surprise to see as well…" Shin said, trying to break the awkward atmosphere. "Sa-chan was very excited to see you!"

"Hai, Sa-chan was," Reira grinned. Shin smiled back.

They were acting as though nothing happened…

They were friends once again…but their eyes never lie…

In his eyes all he could see was her. All he could see was those moments he secretly spent with her…and those words…

"…Shinichi will also forget everything abut Reira-san…"

What a lie.

"Mama! Satsuki did a good job!"

Hachi stared at her daughter in confusion. "What do you mean Satsuki?"

The little girl grinned happily. "I saw Rei-chan and she came in the kitchen when I was talking with Shin-niichan and Rei-chan and Shin-niichan weren't talking so I talked for them and I introduced them to each other!"

"Ah…well…" Hachi stared again. Five-year-olds talk…really fast.

"Hai! Rei-chan always talks about her Shin-chan so I introduced her to a new Shin-niichan!" Satsuki giggled. "Maybe Rei-chan will start liking my Shin-niichan like she did with her Shin-chan! That would be wonderful!"

Hachi sighed and playfully pinched little Sa-chan's cheeks. "Satsuki, you're so naughty!"

"Mou!"

For the past twenty minutes in the kitchen of the Ichinose home, Shin and Reira have been…catching up, so to speak. After almost five years of not saying anything to one another, those twenty minutes were very much needed and was the equivalent of a lifetime.

"Wow! Shin-chan has been very busy since I last saw you!" Reira said in amazement.

He blushed. "Hai, hai. Who would've thought that being an actor would be such hard work?" Shin asked. "And you Reira-san, a fashion model? How like you. What happened to the whole 'without TRAPNEST I am nothing' but?"

Reira stared at him and replied, "Well, I guess singing wasn't the…only…talent…"she paused. Her eyes went wide as she stared deep into his clear ones.

"What's wrong?"

"Shin-chan…"

"Hm?"

"You remembered…what I said that day…"

Shin froze.

"Why, Shin-chan?"

"…I don't really know why I brought it up…I'm sorry."

"Reira gave him a small smile. "It's okay."

The two were once again swallowed in a n awkward silence that threatened them twenty or so minutes prior. The only thing that they could hear was the fast beating of their own hearts – despite the huge roaring party outside the kitchen walls.

Reira couldn't stand the quietness around them.

She despised it fully.

Wasn't five years of not speaking enough? Why were silences so horrible?

Reira let out a soft sigh, determined to break the stillness in the room. "So," she started, "Shin-chan…"

"I missed you," Shin blurted out. "I said what I said because I kept thinking about it all."

She gasped, tears forming.

"I…I just couldn't stop thinking about you Reira…"

Where did her willpower go?

"The only thing that went through my mind was that moment…"

Those tears just streamed down her cheeks.

"…did I do the right thing by walking away?" Shin looked at her, apology in his eyes.

Reira hung her head low, tears hitting the kitchen floor. He was so mature as a sixteen-year-old…now he's…so…vulnerable. He did the right thing by walking away…she was only being selfish by telling him that they should stop seeing each other and writing and calling was okay. It was all her fault…her fault.

"It was my fault!" Reira cried out. "Shin-chan, I didn't want you to go!"

"Reira-san I --"

She shook her head. She refused to let him see her cry. She didn't even know why she was crying – what emotion was she reacting on? Anger? Joy? Sadness?

Reira gasped as warm arms enveloped her in a loving embrace. Was it out of pity? Was he doing it because he felt sorry for her? She opened her eyes. Shin-chan…has gotten a lot more taller… she thought. More tears.

Shin held her tighter. "Ne, Rei-chan, Sa-chan would wonder why her favorite person is crying!" he said softly, stroking her hair. He chuckled. "No need to cry, Rei-chan!"

Reira nodded and hugged him back, the tears now falling steadily down her cheeks. It was a tender embrace they shared…she was trying to find comfort in him and he was trying to comfort her…just like before. "Shin-chan…I've missed you so much," she muttered. "Ever since that day…I've been trying to understand you better…"

"Why?" Shin asked innocently. "Reira-chan was one of the only people who really understood Shinichi!"

"No…" she whispered. "When we said goodbye…"

Shin held her closer.

"…I felt as though I knew nothing about you…"

Shin chuckled again. "Reira-chan, you're the only one who knows me more than anyone!" he exclaimed. He gently placed a kiss on her forehead and looked into her eyes – her soft eyes with remnants of tears. Shin held his breath…but only slightly.

"Oh…Shin-chan…" Tears filled her eyes again. "Shin-chan…"

He wiped away a solitary tear. "I like it better when…you smile Reira-chan."

She smiled at him.

Reira Serizawa smiled a smile that was once again reserved only for the eyes of Shinichi Okazaki.

Human feelings are easily swayed

The things reflected into our eyes are nothing but an illusion

Nothing is intangible or real

…

It's hard to be human.

Owari

Author's note: Nana is currently my latest obsession and Shinichi Okazaki is currently on my yummy list & his actor in the second movie Kanata Hongo is also on my yummy list b/c he will soon be my future husband haha!! So yes, this idea came into my head because I practically CRIED MY EYES OUT when Shin & Reira broke up & when Shin was talking with Hachiko. Then again…Ai Yazawa is an awesome manga-ka & Nana practically has me crying every chapter XD (Wah…Shin-chan is in jail!!!!) Yes…we all know that Reira & Shin belong together XD But yes, this story is just one of few of my "Always" series featuring the Nana cast so please watch out for them! XD oh, the lyrics are from Endless Story by Yuna Ito

So yes…this was written during all those times I was bored in bio class in my bio notebook & it is totally dedicated to my awesome friend who got me into Nana in the first place: Kate-chan aka Rin-chan!! (Which, btw, looks a whole like Nana when she is cosplaying…there is an awesome pic online & in shojo beat!!) Thanks Kate for making bio class fun & for checking my Japanese…haha XD

Reviews/ Flames/ Comments/ Suggestions are always welcome! Thanks for reading!

I swear on my life my other fics will be updated ASAP