Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Inner Monologue

She's at a dance, but she's not dancing. Instead, she's sitting beside Lee on a bench, turning down offers left and right from other boys, just so Lee with his leg in a plaster cast won't feel left out.

She's so sweet and kind. Within her beats a compassionate heart completely at odds with the fiery temper and monstrous strength she's demonstrated in battle time and again.

I'm jealous damnit. Jealous and wishing I had a broken leg, then maybe I'd have a legitimate reason to keep her by my side all night.

I'm jealous. So damn jealous.

And disgusted.

Not disgusted with her for giving up her night for this boy for whom she feels no more than friendship oh kami-sama let that be true. Not disgusted with him for keeping her captive simply by being a figure of sympathy he broke that leg on purpose damnit!

I'm disgusted with myself.

I mean, I know there's a lot wrong with me, but this must be the icing on the top, the cherry on the whipped cream. She's my student former student and ten years, fine fourteen years younger than me and…and…well yeah, that's about it.

Oh, and there's the other thing too.

She hasn't got a clue about the way I feel.

I don't blame her. I'm an elite jounin and former ANBU after all, if I haven't learned to hide my emotions by now, what am I good for?

Plus, I didn't even have a clue about the way I felt until I saw her actually smiling at Lee a few months ago, and suddenly everything clicked came crashing down, big fat heavy puzzle pieces falling into place to show me a picture I never wanted to see as I realized that kami-sama I can't lose her in a second, just like that, she could be gone she could belong to someone not me and nothing would ever be right again.

It's not just that she's beautiful, or intelligent or strong or humourous or sexy or hard-working or compassionate or gentle she's come so far, become more than I could have dreamed although hell, I won't pretend all those characteristics don't attract me.

It's something about the way she looks at me, the way she talks to me, the way I can talk to her. It's something about the way that she can still smile like a girl who's never seen pain or fear or death; that she knows the shinobi rules off by heart, but also knows how to keep a heart compassionate and warm beneath that.

Maybe it's just that she's not broken yet, not fractured, no deep-seated problems like half the kunoichi in this village; I've heard that badly flawed men are often enchanted by good women. Or am I being cynical?

Maybe I don't really love her. Maybe I don't know how to love someone that way, the happily-ever-after type way. I'm not sure.

But I know this.

I don't like it when Lee looks at her like that.

So I'm going to go and stop it. Sorry Lee, but you don't deserve need her like I do.

Author's Note: Sorry for the horribly OOC Kakashi...please forgive me. He's cool, he's in control, but I just really wanted to portray a jealous and desparate Kakashi. Man, I'd love to have one of those...