A/N: OMG, I seriously love the relationship between Volkner and Flint. Ignitionshipping, yey! Though, this isn't Ignitionshipping… unless you want to squint till your eyes bleed or you read into things too much. I'll do one eventually though (laughs)

I was very bored since no one was on MSN and this has no plot.

Author: Yoru Ryu (Rainy Day)
Rating: K / PG
Listening To: Rotterdam -- The Beautiful South
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon, obviously.
Warnings: Uh, OOCness?

How To Escape a Gym

"Ohmigod, the electricity's getting away! Don't let it get away, Flint! After it! Oh my god!"

"It's not a Pokemon, Volkner!" the red afro'd Elite shouted back at his friend as the pair stood back-to-back in the Sunyshore Gym. "This is bad!"

"My poor electricity!"

Apparently during some more recent renovations to the Gym it became apparent to Volkner that the workmen had been sloppy with their craft and had wired everything up, well, wrong. All he wanted to do was turn the TV on and the microwave in the back room exploded! Then the whole place went up! He'd panicked and continued to panic until Flint timed his visit wrong and dropped in on his friend.

"Ya gotta admit this is all your fault, mate. You did tell where the workmen could go during their breaks!"

"That was just a suggestion! A friendly suggestion was all!"

The entire room was spitting out sparks and the entire floor was one live metal plate so escape was impossible. The duo were currently standing on the little elevated ledge the Gym Leaders await the challengers on.

"We're going to die, aren't we?" Flint resigned to ask.

Volkner calmed and nodded, "most probably."

"I don't want to die! I had so much to do! I had to wash my hair this afternoon and-oh, ya know what? If we're gonna die I have to say this!" A sudden thought struck him.

Volkner gave his friend a worried look at the sudden strange behaviour. "I think you're taking this a bit too seriously…"

"I'll protect you, Volkner!" Flint turned around and threw himself on the blonde with a crazed look, "I love you!"

"What the-ahh! Get away from me!" Volkner pushed himself away from the Elite and caught himself before he fell to the live floor but continued to teeter on his heels.

Flint held his hand out dramatically, a sudden wind picked up and whipped about them both. "Give me your hand, quick!"

The Sunyshore Leader tossed the redhead a scared look, questioning his sanity, before gazing around the room and deciding he'd rather end his life than hang around the Fire Elite any longer.

Flint caught the look, his eyes widening. "No, don't let the angst get the better of you! You have to live! If not for yourself then for those who love you - me! Take my hand!"

Volkner stared a long moment at his friend. "Don't talk to me like I'm a retard," he deadpanned and let himself drop to the ground - Flint's heartbroken wail filling the room.

Thump!

Silence.

"Ow. My shoulder…" Volkner moaned and sat up slowly.

With a gasp Flint jumped down next to him in a squat. "You're alright, Volkie!"

Volkner whipped his head around to look at the taller man with a horrified expression. "What did you just call me?"

"Um, nothing?" Flint wrung his hands nervously. "We, er, should get out of here. Looks like the floor's safe after all."

"You're a little scary aren't you?" Volkner commented as he got to his feet. "Now we just have to avoid all the sparks."

"And work the bridges," Flint mentioned thoughtfully.

Volkner looked around at all the mechanical bridges he'd had set up a while back to annoy challengers trying to reach him. "Oh, crap! Who's smart idea was it to put those in?"

"Uh, yours?"

"Rhetorical question!" Volkner barked. "Well, actually, I'm okay. My jacket's rubber."

"Yanno, I always wondered about that," Flint nodded. "I couldn't tell if it were leather or rubber."

"Is now really the best time to discuss this? Shut up and get those bridges working."

"Hey, you're the Gym Leader! Shouldn't have some Master Switch to fix them all?"

With one eye twitching Volkner seethed; "It's those damn workmen! Lazy buggers!"

"If you were a bit nicer to them they might work better."

"Oh, you sound just like the foreman! If you're so worried why don't ya quite the League and go join them!?"

"For the last time; we're not switching jobs!" Flint caught the meaning. Volkner had always wanted to be an Elite to fill in more time.

"Damnit! I'm getting out of here. I'll leave you and your morals alone," the blonde huffed and started walking across the first bridge to a switch. He turned it and all three other bridges in the room started to rotate… effectively marooning Flint.

Watching them move Flint cried; "nooo, don't leave me here alone! I don't wanna die!" Volkner gave him a pleasant smile as he reached the other side of the room and waved as he left through the door. "You're a mean person," the Elite sniffed after him.

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Later in the day it became clear the faulty wiring was yet another assassination attempt on Volkner by the Leader of the late Team Galactic, Cyrus. It came as no surprise to the elderly who'd known Volkner and Cyrus as children. Volkner was never the most reliable child and Cyrus wasn't exactly the most sane child.

It was court-ordered that Volkner give a formal apology for his abusive behaviour towards workmen, of which he did, albeit disdainfully.

And the city of Sunyshore could only wait for the next time Cyrus would strike.

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A week or so later a timid-looking girl came rushing in the lounge room of the Sunyshore Gym. Flint looked up sharply but Volkner ignored the girl to continue with his crossword. "You guys'll never guess what's on TV!"

"Jasmine! Is it something good?"

The visiting Johto Gym Leader hopped over to the TV to turn it on before settling down next to Volkner on the sofa. "What's another word for 'annoyed'? Five letters and begins with 'A' and ends with 'G'?" Volkner asked, dropping a hint.

"Just watch," Jasmine replied with an all too innocent smile that, quite frankly, scared him.

The TV flickered on as Flint sat on the floor in front of it with a naïve smile. Jasmine scowled as his bright-red afro blocked her and Volkner's view - but the sound still made it to them;

"Next on Sinnoh's Most Embarrassing! A shocking revelation from Sunyshore!" the TV boomed.

It made Volkner nervous.

"I'll protect you, Volkner! I love you! What the-ahh! Get away from me!"

He felt all the blood drain from his face as Flint turned round with a huge grin plastered over his face, "hey, we're on TV, Volkner!"

Clenching his eyes so tight he saw blood and grinding his teeth he leant forward and banged his head on the coffee table, unintentionally knocking himself out and drooping to the floor in an unconscious heap.

The Steel Gym Leader watched him with wide eyes as Flint looked back and forth from his blonde friend to the TV. "It's a good likeness," he commented.

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A/N: Lmao, I dunno, but I'm sure Volkner's jacket is made of rubber. I mean, he's the Electric Leader and he'd need rubber… right, yeah. As for how it got on TV… the security guard in charge of monitoring the Gym probably sold it to the media. I… dunno how Flint got out of the Gym.

Aye, that was pointless, but if ya read it then ya should have the decency to leave a review on your way out (sad face).