iannetine: hello everyone! Did anybody miss me? Well, I've got just one excuse: school. Explains a lot huh? Actually, I've encountered so many problems in writing this last chapter. (the computer was reformatted- didn't have backup - I had to write it all over again- and lately my monitor's broken- sweetieangel's going to get mad at me for hijacking hers) It felt like all the evil forces didn't want me to write this last chapter; I wonder why? Now I really forgot the ending I was planning…well, hope this one doesn't flop. Due to my loonng absence, here's one looonnng chapter. With that, enough chit chat… warning: extremely sad… (hoping it's not like my exam results…)

I do not own Prince of Tennis

"Does he really love th...that Tezuka kid?"

"Do you have any problems with that?"

There was a pause on the line. "Yes." He said sarcastically. "If you didn't notice Yoshiko, your son is in love with a boy."

"You can blame me all you want for Shusuke turning out this way, but your son was truly happy with the boy…" she also said sarcastically.

"I thought Yuuta said he already hates the kid? In that letter he wrote?"

"Come on, you believe that?" she said with a laugh, "He still loves him…I can tell."

"Don't blame me for being hopeful for that Tezuka-kid having amnesia; your son still might have a chance to like girls…"

"Anata! That's enough!" Yoshiko scolded through the phone. "You really can't understand Shusuke's feelings, can you?"

There was another pause.

"Anata…" she called out once more, with a softer voice this time. "It breaks my heart to see Shusuke like this…what should I do?" Yoshiko had tried, but even she couldn't lift her son's broken spirit.

Her husband didn't answer. It took a moment for Yoshiko to notice that there was an incoming call.

"Anata, I have to go, someone's calling. I'll call you later, good night." Yoshiko said after a while. She had called her husband as a last resort, but it seems no one knew what to do and how to deal with Fuji. She sighed before pushing the button for the other line.

"Hello?"

"Good morning ma'am. May I speak with Fuji?"

Yoshiko paused in mild surprise; she recognized the owner of that deep voice.

--oOo--

Yuuta woke up to the smell of cinnamon. Great. At this early in the morning, his brother had already managed to piss him off. He angrily got out of bed.

"Ma. What are we having for breakfast?" He called through her door. "Hey Ma, wake up…" he knocked when she didn't answer.

"I'm glad you're feeling okay…" Yuuta heard through the door. "What did the doctor say?"

Yuuta backed away from the door. He knew his father called her every morning, but he didn't know he was ill. "Ma, dad is sick?" He asked while slowly opening the door, and then…

"Really? It's your birthday Tezuka-kun?"

Yuuta pushed open the door in a flash and snatched the telephone out of his mother's hands.

"Oi Tezuka! What do you think you're doing calling here?! " he bombarded. "What do you want?"

"Yuuta," Tezuka greeted. "Good morning."

Yuuta, hearing Tezuka's polite response, realized how rude he had been. "Hey…I mean, what's up?" he said apologetically; Tezuka doesn't remember that they're quite close friends…

"Is Fuji still there?" Tezuka asked. "I need to speak to him before he leaves for school."

Yuuta scratched his cheeks. "Well, how should I say this…" Yuuta turned to look at his mother- who seemed to have disappeared, "Aniki isn't feeling very well…he hasn't gone for school in days…"

"What happened? Is he alright? Is it serious?"

Serious? Fuji had been looking like he was on his deathbed lately, all because of this man…

"Yeah," Yuuta answered, "he might not get over it…" Sometimes, the truth hurts more.

Yuuta sighed in defeat. He thought he'd be able to talk some sense to Tezuka but he didn't anticipate how difficult it was going to be, especially when Tezuka had no recollection whatsoever. It seems too heartless to blame him for losing his own memory.

"Hello? Tezuka?"

"Aniki? What are y-?" Yuuta said, surprised of the interruption.

"Oh, Yuuta, you can put the phone down now." Fuji spoke from the phone in the living room. "Come on Yuuta, it's impolite to listen in in other people's conversations."

Yuuta was about to shout at his brother on the phone, but he froze- Fuji sounded…happy.

Fuji didn't speak a word until he heard a click.

"I'm sorry for that Tezuka," Fuji said with a laugh, "Yes?"

"Fuji…" Tezuka muttered.

"Umm?" Fuji mumbled, signaling him to continue.

"No-nothing…Are you feeling okay? I heard you were sick."

"I'm feeling much better now," Fuji said cheerfully, letting Tezuka know he was smiling, "but mom still won't let me go to school," Fuji continued, "So, why'd you call?"

"I was going to tell you to not wait up; I won't be able to pick you up…"

Fuji sighed. "You just came out of the hospital Tezuka, no one's expecting you to come to school right away."

"I would have gone but mom wouldn't let me take the car." Tezuka said with much disappointment.

"Well, you were in a car accident." Fuji sadly said. "You really don't remember anything, do you?" he said teasingly.

"No I don't…It's starting to bother me actually."

Fuji started to laugh again. "I'm surprised you're taking this quite well Tezuka, but I can help you remember if you want…"

"No thanks." Tezuka told him. Who knows what sadistic methods Fuji can think up with? Besides…

"Thought so." Fuji smiled to him. "Too bad."

"Tell Yuuta he could come too."

"Umm?"

"For dinner."

"Oh, I almost forgot to greet you." Fuji smiled. "Happy Birthday."

--oOo—

"What's that look for mom?" Fuji asked his mother. Yoshiko had been staring at him for the whole conversation. Her mom had a look of concern.

"Shusuke, are you okay?" she asked, following her son to the kitchen. Just looking at her son, broke the mother's heart. Yoshiko stopped at the kitchen door. There were a bunch of apple pies on the table. "Were you up all night for this?"

"Hai, it was hard trying to recreate the same one, but I've managed to get the right ingredients down with sis' help." Fuji said, his smile brighter than the rising sun. There was an air of stillness when he looked out the window. "Tezuka loved that one."

"Shusuke, are you sure you're okay?" Yoshiko said. "Is everything alright?"

"Why do you keep asking mom? Of course, everything's fine," Fuji told her, "it's the most beautiful day of the year…"

Yoshiko understood what he meant. "Is that for him?"

"Hai. I made him one once; he said it was delicious." Fuji looked over the window again. "I think it'll make him remember."

"Yes, that will work." Yoshiko said with encouragement. "But don't expect too much…I don't want to see you get hurt…" She paused. "Will you be okay? If his memories don't come back?"

"Only Kunimitsu has forgotten about us." Fuji smiled. "I know he would've wanted me to remind him. I had been thinking for some time now; Kunimitsu might've lost his memories, but he hasn't lost his feelings for me… "

Yoshiko couldn't take her eyes off of Fuji's face. Despite of the sadness- his smile never disappeared.

"He will come back to me; I will just have to wait. Just like at that time, I'll bring him back." Fuji said firmly, but then his smile faltered. "He will come back to me," he said looking uncertainly to his mother, "won't he?"

Yoshiko embraced her son for she didn't have the strength to answer his question. She didn't want to give false hope nor crush it. "I love you son, and if he truly loves you, he will come back. Even if he does not remember, you are still the same Shusuke he loved. He will love you still."

"If he truly loves me…" Fuji whispered to himself. If there was one thing Fuji was confident about, it was Tezuka's love for him.

"Thank you mom" he pat his mother's back, "I would have been a fool…" Because for Fuji, only a fool would give up Tezuka.

"And you still have me, us, your family…" Yoshiko wiped her tears.

"Hai." Fuji said, beaming smiles to Yumiko and Yuuta who were at the door. He couldn't help but think Tezuka deliberately did this to make him realize how much his family loved him.

--oOo—

"You just got released from the hospital last night, weren't you?" The doctor had meant to ask about his amnesia, but had thought better to not bring up the delicate subject.

"Hai. Mother was very happy. She didn't want me to celebrate my birthday in the hospital."

"Well, I've got the perfect birthday present for you." The good doctor smiled to them. "Good news boys, Kunimitsu's in perfect shape." He congratulated the boy. "Play to your hearts content."

Tezuka smiled as Oishi pat his best friends back. "Thank you sensei." Tezuka said as they privately rejoiced. "Come for dinner sensei. Father sends his regards."

"Why thank you, but work has me tied up all evening." The good doctor ushered them out. "Take care Shuichiro. You too Kunimitsu."

"See ya uncle." Oishi greeted goodbye.

"Isn't that wonderful Tezuka?" Oishi told him once they were out of the hospital. "It's a miracle you didn't have any injuries."

"Ah."

Oishi stopped in his steps. Injuries? Isn't memory loss…?

"Well…" Oishi continued. "I'm free for the rest of the day…Seeing as you're in perfect shape, why don't we hit a few sets?"

"Sure. I feel like I haven't played for years."

"Alright then!" Oishi energetically led the way to the bus station; Tezuka giving him a raised eyebrow. "I know an open court. Practice must have ended by now." Oishi had a look that spelled: trouble.

"Oishi…" Tezuka told him, his arms folding to his chest. He could smell something was brewing. He decided to be polite about it; he wouldn't want to ruin everything.

After a while, "I know, I know, just play along…" Oishi told him. "Please pretend you didn't guess it right away…Eiji has been nagging to me for the past two weeks, Fuji's been feeding him ideas ab--" Oishi stopped, realizing he mentioned the tensai.

Not one of them has had the chance to speak to the tensai since the incident. They had agreed to give the matter some time before they do any drastic measures--to get the two back together.

Tezuka just shook his head at the idea. Although…he was excited to see Seishun again.

The school was already empty, except for some students on clean-up duty. They were greeted by former kouhais that recognized them. Oishi led they way to the tennis courts.

Walking by the locker room, they could hear:

"Careful!" Kawamura warned, and then there was a loud crash.

"This is all your fault Echizen!" Momo shouted. "We wasted the surprise on you!"

"You told me to buy this stuff. YOU made me late." Ryoma answered.

"Hoi hoi stop fighting nya! Oishi's going to be here in a minute!" Eiji shouted.

"Everything's finished. We're good." Inui said, and then he unlocked the door.

Tezuka gave a sharp look to Oishi.

"Okay, I understand." Oishi coughed, then loudly said: "There's a racket in the locker room Tezuka."

"Fushuu...they're here!" They heard Kaidoh whisper. There was a lot of rustling, soon followed by a stiffened silence.

Tezuka sighed before opening the door.

Surprisingly, contrary to what he expected, there was no sign of irregularity in the room. And then-

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUCHOU!"

All at once everyone leaped into his view. Tezuka had to take a step back from the ambush.

"Aren't we all too old for this?" he asked as Inui put a party hat on his head.

"Not at all." Inui answered handing him a box.

Tezuka muttered a "thank you" while tearing the gift wrap on his new tennis racket. He couldn't help feeling overjoyed with such good friends.

He checked the tension on the strings and swung it on his side. His eyes were searching the whole room…there's only one person he'd like to play with with such great feeling.

He paused.

"Where's Fuji?"

oOo

Everyone exchanged glances.

"Where's Fuji?" Tezuka repeated, this time directed to Eiji. The redhead always knew where the tensai was.

Eiji pouted and brushed the floor with his shoes. "I went to their house but he won't let me see him nya! Yuuta says he's condition's contagious…" he looked over to everyone for some support.

"That can't be right." Tezuka told them. "I spoke with him this morning and he says he's fine."

"Eh? I'll play you buchou." Ryoma cheekily picked up his racket and proceeded toward the door. "I think I'm as good as Fuji-sempai…" Opening the door, Ryoma was blocked by person standing just outside.

"We'll see. It's still too early to say that."

"Fuji!" Everyone, except Tezuka, gaped with open mouths. Eiji ran to the tensai and shook him violently. "Fujiko, you're really here!" he said with a smile, which soon turned to a frown. "How?"

Everyone couldn't believe their eyes. From what they've been hearing, Fuji should be locked up on his own room, extremely depressed and not talking to anyone. He SHOULD be, so how could he be here? How could he be…smiling?

"Sorry I'm late; I had to let it cool." Fuji told them, setting down the box that contained the apple pie. "I'll borrow this Taka-san." He took the racket which Kawamura offered.

"Saa Tezuka, we should get started," Fuji proceeded to the courts. "Dinner's in two hours."

oOo

"Fuji…"

"Umm?" Fuji said, his eyes beaming a smile.

Tezuka hesitated before serving. "I'm going."

The others watched as the two played. They went silent.

"It must be difficult Fujiko-" They heard Eiji whisper. "To pretend."

Inui raised his glasses. "Pretending is easy for Fuji." Inui said after a while. "But it must hurt more."

"It's so unfortunate. After everything Fuji's been through…it all comes down to this…" Kawamura whispered.

"Can't we do something?" Kaidoh asked. He too was being ripped apart by Fuji's unfaltering smile.

"What can we do?" Oishi answered him.

"Kaidoh lost his memory once right?" Momo reminded them. "Maybe Fuji's playing him to get him to remember."

"I don't think it's like that." Inui told them. "Besides, there is a probability that he's accepted it. That Fuji's enduring the thought that Tezuka won't be able to remember at all."

"No, that's not it." Eiji told them. "I know Fujiko…he'll try to bring him back. He thinks that's what Tezuka would have wanted. It may look like the other way around, but Tezuka still controls him nya…He's not going to give up like that."

"Fuji could do it. Fuji could bring his memories back." Kawamura told them. "Trust him. He's a genius, isn't he?"

"Deuce." Ryoma said. Fuji had scored a point.

They saw Tezuka smile in Fuji's direction.

All at once, their doubts started to disappear.

--oOo--

"Ayana-san's going to be mad at me." Fuji panted, looking to the person beside him.

"Why is that?" Tezuka said, breathing heavily himself.

"You're late for your own party." Fuji tried to smile but he was too out of breath.

Tezuka helped him up. "You're as hard to beat as ever."

"I lost; I'm the one who should be saying that." Fuji smiled successfully this time. "Maybe I shouldn't have gone easy on you because it's your birthday."

"Fuji!" Tezuka looked at him, offended.

"I'm joking," Fuji walked ahead, "You believe in me so easily."

"That took ages Fuji-sempai." Ryoma said climbing down the umpire's chair. "But not bad."

"Fu-ji-ko!" Eiji called to him. Everyone was smiling at him encouragingly.

Fuji smiled back.

"What happened?" Tezuka asked when he found them all chuckling. Everyone smiled to him as an answer. "Let's go. "He said when they didn't say anymore.

"Can we sleep over there, nya Tezuka?" Eiji asked once they got inside the bus. "Just for the night, can we?"

"Eiji, don't impose on him!" Oishi restrained the boy by pulling him down to the seat next to him.

"I think mom won't disagree with that." Tezuka answered. "As long as you aren't loud; grandfather's at home."

"Eeep!" Eiji pulled Oishi's arm. "I think I'll pass!" Everyone laughed.

"Tezuka…" Fuji looked at Tezuka worriedly. They sat beside each other- this has been the setup ever since. "Your grandfather's going to be there?"

"He said he needed to ask me something." Tezuka answered.

Fuji felt his stomach tightening. Could that question be the same one he asked from the hospital.

"Of course he'd be there," Fuji faked a laugh. "It's your birthday after all."

"I keep forgetting. It still feels like winter to me." Tezuka told him, looking out the window to the autumn leaves.

"You'll remember soon enough." Fuji said before resting his head on the headrest.

"Fuji…"

"Umm?"

"No-nothing." Tezuka looked out the window once more, to the setting sun.

It was already dark when they reached the Tezuka residence. Kuniharu was at the door, ready to greet them.

"Better hurry son," Kuniharu smiled to Tezuka, "your mother's starting to get worried. She kept saying you forgot our address."

Ayana came rushing to the door. Tezuka blushed when Ayana kissed him in front of his friends. Everyone snickered to themselves.

"Make yourselves at home boys. I'll be in the kitchen." She ushered them inside.

"Ayana-san," Fuji approached her, "This is for Kunimitsu." He handed her the box.

Ayana stared at him. Fuji bowed after handing her the box. He didn't want to make Ayana worried about him being there. Her son was just released from the hospital. It may not be a good idea for him to be showing up like this, considering Tezuka had a memory loss.

Who knows what an obsessed lover like Fuji might do to her son?

"Shusuke," she said, "how are you holding up?" Ayana smiled, moving towards him and tapping his shoulders in console.

Almost teary, Fuji answered: "Barely." He didn't know that Ayana cared for him, for them,that much.

Fuji was about to give her a smile but at that moment Kuniharu appeared at the kitchen door. "Can we have moment?"

Fuji nodded and proceeded to leave the room; he would have wanted to talk with Ayana more but it looks like later would be the proper time.

"Where are you going Fuji-kun?" Kuniharu called him back.

Fuji looked at him with a questioning look. Didn't Kuniharu want to have a private talk with his wife? He looked at Ayana, who threw her an assuring smile.

Kuniharu laughed a little, finding the situation very amusing. He stopped and said: "Let's have a word Fuji-kun."

--oOo—

Fuji, feeling pressure on his heart, sat silently in Kuniharu's study. He could hear his friends' loud cheers from downstairs; how he wished he could join them.

"Your friends sure are lively, aren't they?" Kuniharu casually sat on the desk.

Fuji knew the man was a jolly good person; making him all the more uncertain of what to do and how to act.

"Well, to start off, the doctor said Kunimitsu hasn't been unconscious for too long so there's a high chance that the memory loss is only temporary." Kuniharu became serious all of a sudden. "He's definitely going to remember what he forgot...well, not right now, but maybe later in life, it all depends." Kuniharu looked at him in the eye. "He said one powerful memory…can bring it all back…"

Fuji held his breath at Kuniharu's piercing stare. Why is Kuniharu telling him this?

"The doctor warned us to not get excited about telling him about everything. He said to give it some time and Kunimitsu will figure it out for himself. Forcing it on him won't work."

Fuji's heart was pounding at his statements. What is Kuniharu trying to say?

"Now," Kuniharu finally sat himself in the chair. "I understand that you're Kunimitsu's…how should I say this…" he put his hands to his chin.

With this, Fuji's eyes widened. Thoughts were racing through his mind. His heart was pounding in his chest and his hands were shaking. Still feeling weak, he got up from his chair and started to bow down the floor. He readied his voice to explain.

"Hey, hey- don't do that!" Kuniharu stopped him, also getting up from his chair. "Seriously, sit up Fuji-kun…Kunimitsu will get angry at me if he found out I made you hit the floor." He shook his head in amusement. "Kids today, always so serious…" he said to himself, also referring to his son.

Fuji followed. He sat silently again, unable to speak. He was focusing all his energy to keep his tears at bay. The pressure in his heart was getting heavier by the second.

"I know what's been going on with you and my son…" Kuniharu had a somewhat sad look. Fuji could almost cry. 'He's going to break us apart…he's going to break us apart…' his own voice resounded in his head.

But then Kuniharu said: "I don't have a problem with that." Fuji remained motionless in shock; he had expected for him to say the opposite.

Kuniharu nodded at him, guessing Fuji was having a hard time believing what he said. He smiled.

The smile in Kuniharu's face somehow eased the pressure in Fuji's heart and he smiled back.

"Kunimitsu's been acting strange lately." Kuniharu continued. "Well, he has been always preoccupied with his thoughts- but lately he's been spacing out." He stood up and approached Fuji.

"I think he remembers something."

Fuji snapped out of his daze. 'Kunimitsu remembers me?' he thought, his heart beating wild in excitement.

There was a loud cheer from downstairs. Kuniharu nodded in his direction. "You better get going; everyone must be looking or you."

"Thank you sir." Fuji told him as he stood up. He was so eager to find out what exactly did Tezuka remember about him. But, leaving the room, he felt dread as he remembered Kunikazu telling him to not rush it.

"One last thing Fuji-kun," Kuniharu called when he saw Fuji hesitate, "'Doctor said anything to you?"

Fuji paused, wondering what the man meant. "No sir."

"Oh, okay."

Fuji closed the door a smiling Kuniharu. He absent-mindedly walked down the stairs.

He had accepted it. That Tezuka would never remember…that Tezuka would never come back…that they would never be together again. He had prepared his heart. It took him all his strength, all his soul, all his tears. Fuji planned to risk it all, knowing that what he was about to dedicate his life to had a small chance of success.

If he truly loves me…

He smiled as he stopped in the landing of the stairs. Only one thought ringed in his mind: Tezuka…will…remember…

He breathed deep and fixed a smile in his face. The laughter from the living room died down; Ayana must have served their dinner. Walking past the hall, Fuji heard a familiar, distinct voice coming from outside. He stopped dead in his tracks.

"Kunimitsu, I have something to ask you."

--oOo—

Kunikazu was standing grandly in the portico, looking over the green backyard. Tezuka was beside him, silent and still, just as he always was in his grandfather's presence.

Kunikazu isn't the type of grandfather who spoils his grandchildren, even when they were young. He was the strict and the distant type, the absolute symbol of authority in the whole family. Tezuka was brought up accordingly; in fear and respect, on Kunikazu's ideals and influence.

Fuji stood there petrified. He felt sick as the heavy pressure in his heart made him sink to the wall. He was starting to regret talking back to Kunikazu in the hospital.

"What did the doctor say?" Kunikazu asked, his voice thundering in the stillness of the night. "Will you recover those memories?"

"Hai. Eventually." Tezuka simply answered.

Kunikazu didn't look pleased at all.

"Forward Kunimitsu. You look back if you must. If taking a step back will enable you move forward, step back. But forward Kunimitsu, that is your goal."

"Hai."

"The past is important, Kunimitsu, you learn from it. You do not repeat the same mistakes. This builds strength and character. The past tells you of your identity, but it is not your identity, understand?"

"Hai."

"What have I told you?"

"I have to move on grandfather. I must not relive my past."

Fuji had been wishing for the wall to consume him. Kunikazu has just told Tezuka to move on…to forget…about him…about them… He hugged himself, wishing he could just disappear…

"Fuji Shusuke."

Fuji looked up suddenly; Kunikazu has just mentioned his name. He could tell that Tezuka too didn't expect his name to be brought up so suddenly.

"He was at the hospital at the night of the accident. He is--?" Kunikazu signaled for him to continue.

Tezuka paused for a little while. He wondered why his grandfather was asking about Fuji all of a sudden. He didn't even know that Kunikazu ever knew Fuji.

"He is a schoolmate and a friend." Tezuka answered. He didn't know that Fuji was there at the night of the accident.

"Just a friend?" Kunikazu asked again, as if wanting confirmation.

"Just a friend…" Tezuka repeated, his voice trailing.

"Very well, I hope you remain good friends for a long time."

Fuji, feeling a fierce throb in his head, staggered to stand up straight. Should he also forget their past? How could he, when the past was the only future he wanted?

"Enough," Fuji whispered to himself. He couldn't take it anymore, raising his hopes high then viciously plunging them down.

How many more times must he lose Tezuka?

"Thank you grandfather." Fuji heard Tezuka say as he idly walked towards the dining room.

His usual calm front was accepted by everyone. No one noticed how helpless he was as he sat with them in the table. He smiled, his vision spinning, and his ears deaf to any noise. He didn't touch his plate; the water glass never reached his lips. Remain good friends… echoed in his head.

"I knew it..." Fuji whispered to himself, clearly remembering what he had asked himself once in the park: Would he have to let go of Tezuka one day to make the one he loved the most happy?

"…Kunimitsu…what should I do?..." Fuji whispered again. If bringing back Tezuka's memory causes him to be disowned by his grandfather, to face eternal condemnation, will it be worth it? If he remained distant to Tezuka however, the boy will be able to move on…painlessly…

"You would have wanted me to be with you, won't you?" Fuji thought to himself, the throbbing in his head growing stronger by the second. "But what you want isn't necessarily what's good for you, is it?" He smiled to himself, for without a doubt, he knew what he should do.

"…Kunimitsu…goodbye…"

"Fu-ji-ko!" Eiji shouted at him from across the table. "Can I have a slice of what Tezuka's having?" Eiji pouted, "I know it's your gift and all, but even just a taste?"

Fuji, waking from his reverie, opened his eyes in surprise. He looked around in panic, searching for Tezuka, gaining him suspicious stares from everyone. Spotting him in the kitchen, he dashed before the boy could take a bite…

"Fuji! What are you doing?" Tezuka looked at him with surprise. He was about to eat the apple pie but Fuji grabbed the plate from his hands. "I was about to eat that." Tezuka pulled the plate back.

Fuji forcefully yanked the plate from Tezuka's hands, sending the pie straight to Fuji's shirt. Fuji laughed insanely, eyeing the muddled pie on the floor.

"Fuji what's wrong?" Tezuka asked him with concern since Fuji was acting so strangely…

Fuji took the whole box and looked at it for the last time. This was the pastry we worked on all night, all day. No longer shall he make another one, for its purpose shall never be served. He threw the whole thing to the trash bin with outmost disgust.

Fuji laughed a little before losing his balance.

"Fuji, be careful!" Tezuka caught him.

"I'm fine…" Fuji pulled away and backed a few steps. He wouldn't be able to resist if Tezuka were this close to him. "I just remembered I put some expired ingredients." He smiled wickedly.

"You should have said so." Tezuka told him. "But thank you, I'm sure it would have tasted good." Tezuka added, trying to cheer him up; Fuji looked… sad.

Fuji couldn't bear to look him in the eye. Even though he knew it was still Tezuka who was there, it wasn't the same anymore…

"What happened Kunimitsu?" Ayana entered the kitchen. "Did a plate…?" she trailed, seeing the broken china in the floor.

"I'm sorry." Fuji said with a frown. "It was my fault."

"I'll handle this," she smiled to Fuji. "Why don't you lend Shusuke a clean shirt Kunimitsu?"

"Fuji," Tezuka beckoned, "come with me." Fuji followed obediently.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Tezuka asked him, going through his wardrobe.

Fuji had been asked the same question countless times throughout the day…And he was never tired of answering: "I'm fine."

Fuji stood by the door, not wanting to move closer to the insides of the room; Tezuka doesn't know that he'd been here countless times.

"Here. This should fit you."

Fuji stared at him in disbelief. "Tezuka…do-do you remember something? Something you might have forgotten?"

"No." Tezuka answered. "Bathroom's in here."

Fuji obeyed. He looked at himself in the mirror, swallowing hard to stop the tears from flowing. Right now, he was wearing the same blue shirt they bought together…

"Fuji." Tezuka called from the outside. "I need to speak with you."

Fuji hesitated; Tezuka sounded like he had something important to tell. It took him a minute to finally open the door.

"So I said," Tezuka continued, sitting himself beside him, "I need to speak with you…"

Fuji clasped his hands to his mouth.

"—about this." Tezuka said, showing him a pair of silver rings.

--oOo—

The rings were solid silver, smooth and reflective.

"I found this last night, when I came home." Tezuka started to explain with such indifference. "I think it's mine; it found it in a place that only I could find."

Fuji stared at those beautiful rings…one of them rightfully his…

"It doesn't have anything engraved on it, but I guess this one…" Tezuka put the larger ring on his finger, "is supposed to be mine."

Fuji felt a tightening in his chest. A pressure inside him was crushing his heart.

"I kept wondering," Tezuka continued, "…who the other one supposed to belong to…"

To Tezuka's surprise, Fuji suddenly seized the other ring. He lifted it close to the light and examined it. His hands were shaking. He had meant to put it on himself, but no matter how much he tried, he couldn't put it on. It must have been important to Tezuka back then…but now, for Tezuka, the rings are…meaningless…

"You're asking me…" Fuji asked, getting weaker with every word, "...who?"

"I thought since we go to the same school, you must have known if I was seeing someone…" Tezuka told him with a straight face. "Was I…in a relationship?"

Fuji fell silent; afraid to speak…afraid to tell him that it was him…

"I figured she must have been…special…" Tezuka paused and continued with a wistful sigh. "I mean, I would have had other priorities. School and tennis that is…" Tezuka told him. "That girl must be, without a doubt, the most beautiful and amazing girl I ever met…"

Fuji smiled. He never realized how special he must have been to Tezuka…but it's too late…

"I kept thinking I couldn't have had a--" Tezuka blushed, "--girlfriend. If I had one, she would have presented herself by now. Everyone must have known, grandfather must have known…" Tezuka adjusted his glasses. "Would you know…if I liked someone?" Tezuka fixed his eyes on the ring on his finger, slightly embarrassed that he had to ask.

Fuji had his head bent, face covered by honey-colored hair, concealing his tearful eyes.

"Would you?" Tezuka repeated, eyes still fixed on his hand.

"You--" Fuji spoke in a shaky voice, finally gathering the strength to utter a word. "You--want to know who that girl is?"

"No." he answered right away. "I don't have any desire to meet her. No matter how beautiful and amazing she is." He said with an air of resentment.

"I just want to know…" Tezuka removed the ring on his finger, "Did I…love…someone?"

'Kunimitsu…' Fuji called out in his thoughts. 'Forgive me…'

"No one." Fuji told him, wiping his tears and smiling to him when he gave the other ring back to Tezuka. "There was no one."

But me…

He hurriedly stood up and left the room without another word- leaving Tezuka to himself. He loped downstairs, his palms on his face. Fuji didn't understand why tears were coming out of his eyes. Boys don't cry…but why did it have to hurt so much?

Maybe because the saddest thing about running away from Tezuka…was knowing that he'll never run after you…

Though he felt weak and numb, he was thankful that he could run. He passed the living room, where everyone was.

"Fujiko! Have you seen Tezuka nya?" Eiji bounced to him. "I want to--" he cut short when he saw Fuji in tears.

Silence.

Fuji continued to walk to the door. He felt awful; he didn't have any intention to ruin Tezuka's party like this. But at the moment, all he cared about was getting as far as he could.

From behind, someone grabbed his arm. "Aniki!"

Fuji turned abruptly. "Don't---touch me!" His mind was so blurry that he didn't recognize his own brother.

Yuuta let go, seeing how frail Fuji was. "What happened?" he asked.

"Yuuta…" Fuji, recognizing him this time, tried his best to smile but was unsuccessful, "…don't hurt Kunimitsu…"

Fuji ran to the door. Surprisingly, no one was stopping him. He felt sick for shouting at Yuuta like that; his brother actually came. He had been pestering him all day, saying he should be there since Tezuka told him to come. 'Forgive me…'

He ran with no particular destination in mind. He ran towards the darkness. Painful thoughts raced in his mind.

Was it wrong after all?

"At you? It's not your fault…Don't think about it Kunimitsu, loving me isn't wrong, ne? Don't leave me because of that…don't leave me…"

Had Tezuka really meant what he said?

"-you're all the family that I want Shusuke…"

Had Tezuka made promises he couldn't keep?

"--I will never give up on Shusuke…I am not ashamed with what we share…Even if the entire world disapproves of us, I promise that I'll protect him, whatever the cost."

Fuji ran faster, with no intention of stopping.

"It may be a big price to pay…but everything will be worth it…for Shusuke's love."

Fuji ran faster, wishing he could just disappear in the shadows.

"I live because of you…I live for you…"

He slowed down, realizing his helplessness, all life departing him.

For the second time, someone grabbed him by the arm.

"Found you."

--oOo—

Even in the darkness, that presence was unmistakable.

"Tezuka…what are you doing here, how come--?" Fuji asked, his calm front deceiving his own feelings.

"Was it you?" Tezuka asked his earnest.

"Did you remember anything?"

"Nothing."

"Then no." Fuji answered right away. "I told you, there was no one." Fuji was thinking maybe he wasn't meant to be happy…but then, if Tezuka was happy…that was his happiness as well.

"I was hoping…" Tezuka told him in the soft loving voice he spoke to his Shusuke, "…it was you."

Fuji, unable to endure another second, ran to him in an embrace. "Kunimitsu…" he cried.

"When I found the ring, your face came to my mind." Tezuka didn't have the heart to embrace back, but instead let Fuji cling to him. "I knew it was you…"

"from the way your mom and Yuuta talked to me…

"the way my parents treat you…

"the way grandfather asked about you…

"the way everyone becomes silent after mentioning your name…

"and in the hospital, you asked me if I remembered you; you kept calling me by my given name; you even cried…it must have been you, all the pieces fit…"

Tezuka lightly stroked Fuji's hair. "But most of all, I couldn't stand thinking it was someone else. It HAD to be you…no one but you…"

Though weary, Fuji smiled. He released him and looked Tezuka in the eye, the moonlight illuminating his face. "I was angry at you...I hated you…you forgot me…

"You told your grandfather we were just friends…when I told everyone we were lovers…

"I told you to remember that I'll always be here, that I'll never leave you…but you didn't…

"You lend me the shirt I bought for you…

"Back then, you listen to me; you always do what I tell you, you don't complain…

"I was the apple of your eye; I was your baby; I was yours…your Shusuke…

"and we had our first--" Fuji wiped a single tear…

"First?" Tezuka repeated. They did what? Surely back then he knew they were underage? Surely back then he wouldn't have allowed it?

He had meant to say "first kiss" but then, Fuji chuckled to himself. "And you were so insistent about it…" he pretended to cry once more, "everyday you tried to get me to do it…you said if I really loved you, I'd have to prove it…I didn't give in but you were so forceful…"

"Did I hurt you?" Tezuka asked, alarmed.

"I was joking." Fuji smiled. "You really don't remember anything, do you? We just had our first kiss…what were you thinking? You're always so serious Kunimitsu…" Fuji chuckled again

"Fuji." Tezuka said somberly, half irritated, half relieved.

"But I don't care anymore…" Fuji told him, getting comfortable in Tezuka's warmth again "if you remember or not…" This time Tezuka instinctively embraced him back. "Forgive me Kunimitsu…for not being brave again…" Fuji let out a exhausted sigh. "Can I ask you to love me again? Only me, forever?"

Tezuka let out a thankful sigh. Was Fuji always this melodramatic? "Ah." He answered. Who could possibly love someone else after loving Fuji?

"Fuji, I take it back." Tezuka said after a while.

"What?" Fuji said, troubled. "What are you saying?" Fuji couldn't help but be tearful again.

"About saying I didn't want your help in helping me remember." Tezuka told him. He mouthed "payback" when Fuji jokingly pounded on his chest.

"Since I threw the apple pie…" Fuji took Tezuka's hand and led the way to the Fuji residence. "Would you like to have your memories back as my birthday present?"

--oOo—

Tezuka sat on the floor; Fuji's photo albums sprawled before him. He had a piece of paper in his hand. The last line read.

Why can't you just remember me?

Tezuka cursed himself. Fuji had been telling him everything that happened to them that night, but still- he couldn't remember. He read the letter the hundredth time; Fuji's words stabbing his heart. "I was angry at you...I hated you…you forgot me…"

He rubbed his eyes in defeat, seeing the blotches of tears in the paper.

However, before he returned the letter to the desk, he saw another line written on the back.

But in the end…in spite of everything…I still love you, Kunimitsu…

"you—sang—me—to—sleep…" Fuji mumbled in his sleep.

Tezuka smiled, kissing the sleeping Fuji's hair. He arranged the albums that contained his photos, laying the sole one that contained the pictures he took on top, thinking how he could have forgotten that sweet vanilla…

"He fell asleep. He's going to be fine now."

"What about you?"

"I'll come first thing in the morning; I have to get home first."

"Yeah, when I left, Ryoma and the other's were really worried."

Fuji stirred in bed, overhearing Tezuka and Yuuta's conversation. He heard the front door open.

"And Yuuta, tell Shusuke grandfather gives us his consent."

Silence.

"Wait! Tezuka, you remember?!"

Siilence. He heard the door click to a close.

Fuji suddenly opened his eyes. He looked around the room. The photo albums scattered before were now neatly stacked up in a corner. Last thing he recalled was he was retelling Tezuka everything that happened in the mountain trip. He must have fallen asleep.

Tezuka and Yuuta's conversation suddenly came to his mind. He quickly sat up, eager to find out if Tezuka had shaken his head or if he had nodded. Does Tezuka remember?

In the dim light, Fuji saw the moonlight shine in his hand.

Fuji stopped and smiled; Tezuka's ring was on his finger.

--END--

ianntine: That's it? What d'you think? I'll have my sister proofread it later…Thanks for reading and reviewing! Especially to those who stuck with me since Unfolded Secrets!

I'm going to go on a reading strike this week, I realize that I have to repay your kindness by reviewing your fics…but I only read TeFu…hope you made one…

Is this good news? I'm planning to write other fics…TeFu's mostly (still have lots to do with this pair)…so I'll try to create my profile pronto! if you like to know about it more…

Thanks again!