Take My Pain Away
Disclaimer: Me no ownage. The song is by Jimmy Eat World and it's called "Pain". I LOVE YOU JIMMY!!!!! XD
Murtagh POV
Another battle, another confrontation, another piece of my broken heart falls away.
Galbatorix ordered me to once again do battle against the Varden-and my brother. As much as I wanted to protest against it, I couldn't, I have no choice; no free will.
'Eragon'
When I hear his name I shudder, but I hide it from my hated master. Butterflies flutter about in my stomach every time I think of the brunette, every time I relive his laughter or see his smile; feel his touch.
I don't feel the way I've ever felt. I know. I'm gonna smile and not get worried. I try but it shows.
But I'm ordered to fight him, to cause him pain, to bring him to this accursed Hell to be tortured and enslaved by a mad man.
I weep for him, sometimes, I'm done with weeping for myself, but what can tears do? Show how weak you are? They certainly can't bring the one you love back, or to free yourself from the bondage that makes you a traitor, a murderer, like your father.
Morzan was no more my father than Galbatorix is; I have no father. My mother is dead. I only have one other.
'Eragon'
Anyone can make what I have built. And better now. Anyone can find the same white pills.
It takes my pain away!
I prepared for battle grudgingly. I tried to tell myself that even though I'm going into battle to fight him, at least I get to see him. Even though he'll be angry and determined to fight against me, I'll at least be able to see his face; his eyes.
Thorn was as unwilling as I to go and fight, he hasn't said, but I have a feeling he feels something for Saphira like I do for my own brother.
Shameful, I know, to love your brother like you would love a spouse, but I can't help it. When first I met him, he was merely an aquaintance, I was excited to meet my long-lost brother, of course, but hid my feelings-I couldn't let him know too soon now could I?
But then, I grew to be his friend, as I thought I would. He is naïve, but he is young, he doesn't know all about the world yet, and I understand. He certainly can't be expected to know everything when his world came crashing down on him only a short while ago.
All he knew, all he had; shattered. I only faintly understand the feelings he has, because I've always known, I never lived a lie, per say, I knew my father and my mother; I knew the very sting of Morzan's blade.
I knew the vile and wicked things him and Galbatorix were planning, and I knew I would one day be a part of it.
But Eragon didn't.
It made me sad to hear him talk about his early life, of how he was just a simple farm boy who found a blue stone while hunting; trying to provide for his family.
And then of how the Ra'zac came and destroyed the peace and calm he had in his town, killed his uncle-my uncle-, and how he had fled in fear of his very life; but also for revenge.
I admired that part of him, his thirst for justice, his anger at his uncle's death who was his father figure his entire life until that moment. His protectiveness of his cousin, Roran, I think it was, very much his brother rather than cousin. I never really had that sense of justice, that determination to right the many wrongs in my life.
I almost regretted telling him we were brothers, and that the hated Morzan was our father, for two reasons.
One, I was in love with him, I denied it at the time, but all the same, I loved Eragon.
Two, I didn't want to see the pain and shock that crossed his eyes, his refusal of being one of the Forsworn's spawns like me. Hey, at least he's not the son of Galbatorix!
But it all came to pass, and now I know not whether he hates me or is in pain because of me. I had a tiny feeling that he cared slightly for me like I cared for him, and that his rage at my betrayal wasn't just because I betrayed the Varden (Unwillingly I might add), but that I betrayed him.
I could see it in his eyes, for a fleeting moment.
It's a lie. A kiss with open eyes. And he's not breathing back. Anything but bother me! (It takes my pain away!) Never mind, these are hurried times. Oh, oh, oh! I can't let it bother me!
But I can't think of such things now, we're nearing the battlefield, and I have spotted him.
He has no real expression on his face, but Saphira looks determined to keep me as far away from hurting him as possible. So be it, I wish not to harm my brother.
"Hello brother." I say with intensity. I cannot let my weakness be known to him, or he'll take advantage. He is not nearly as naïve now as he was at first, I know that.
He frowns, and even then he looks beautiful.
"Murtagh." He says evenly, eyes narrowed. He is tense and ready for battle, but is he really ready to fight me? I see a certain strain in his eyes, like he doesn't want to be here.
It almost gives me hope; a twisted, maniacal hope, but still; Hope.
The men are ready to fight, and so am I.
"Attack!" I bellow. The armies roar and clash, and so begins the battle.
Thorn charges towards Saphira and Eragon, and both of us forget our feelings so as not to be weak.
Eragon urges Saphira forward, and readies his sword. The dragons clash, roaring and slashing at each other while I bring down my blade to meet his.
We break away, and we hear the fighting below us, but it does not interfere with our determined intensity.
We come again, this time he makes to cut me in the shoulder but I block and throw him off balance. He almost falls off, but it's not that easy, no.
He growls and slashes wildly at me while our dragons are closely biting and scratching each other.
I again block his sword and hold his arm, the touch sends a shiver down my spine, but I resist. He's angry at being so vulnerable, and I cannot resist a cruel smirk to grace my lips.
He tries to push me away, but I am too strong. I am aware that he is not using magic, and neither am I. He seems to be thinking the same thing; because I see it in his eyes that he is drawing upon the magic within him to attack me.
But I beat him to it.
I yell out a word and he cries out in pain, reeling backwards as I let go. Saphira roars and slams into Thorn, making me nearly lose my balance.
In my anger I run Zar'roc against her scales and smile at seeing her blood. She roars again but Thorn attacks her while they are both unawares. I must remember to congratulate him, I think bitterly.
Eragon is recovering from my attack and his getting ready to reply. I again beat him to the punch and he cannot move. He struggles vainly and whispers words to unleash him, but my magic overpowers him.
I hesitate before plunging into his mind. He screams in pain and…horror? And struggles to fight back, pushing me out of his mind with every fiber of his being, but once again he is not prepared for my strength.
Saphira is outraged by this and slams into Thorn once again, but she is too late. I found something most interesting.
He does like me. I saw it, the raw emotion of lust, longing, desire, as well as hints of fervent love, bitter betrayal, sorrow.
I am forced out from the crash and almost lose my balance again. I look to see Eragon's face overwhelmed with shock and terror; I can only imagine what he is thinking.
'Did he find out? Is he disgusted? Oh no! What am I going to do? He saw, he knows, I am done for!'
But whether he is thinking this or not, I cannot tell, because he puts on a mask and then swings his blade, I react just in time, but I find it's too late.
As I come up to block and smirk at him, I feel blood trickle down my arm; I glance over and hold in a gasp.
'Why the brat got me. Amazing.' I think and then see him smirk, bitterly and not as sardonic as he might have hoped, but still, he knows I am shocked.
I push him away and see that our dragons are close to the ground, away from the fighting. An idea pops into my mind and I smirk once again.
Thorn, fly lower and make them fly low as well, we're going to fight on the ground I tell my dragon and he does it without question.
He pushes Saphira toward the ground and she protests, trying to get over him, but he is bigger than her, thankfully.
Eragon grits his teeth and hides the confusion at my methods, trying to cut me again, but this time I'm more than ready. We swing our swords at the same time, but only one hits their mark.
I'm almost saddened to see his blood run down his arm from where I cut him. He doesn't hide his gasp, and tries to get me away, but I have him blocked and we are nearing the soft grass where I plan to make him fall…
I quickly push him away and while he is trying to regain his balance while his dragon is on the side and so is he, I cut the leg restraints and nick his own leg, he gasps again and looks up in horror as he slips off of Saphira and falls.
Saphira tries to reach him, but Thorn bites her hard on the leg and she can't get out of his grasp.
I wince slightly when I see Eragon hit the ground, maybe we weren't as close as I had hoped…
He lands with a sickening thud! And Thorn slowly lands as well. He doesn't let go of Saphira as she growls and tries to bite his head or neck and I slide down and run towards Eragon before he can get up.
He groans and turns to his side, facing me, and we both see that his sword flew out of his hand, and is right by my feet. I smirk and he is again struck with horror.
I pick up his sword and Thorn takes off with Saphira, our plan already discussed so he knows what to do.
Eragon tries to get up but I point both swords at him and step on his wrist. He cries out in pain and I try not to cringe.
He glares at me weakly, but I still give him credit. He is panting and so am I, and I look around before grabbing his wrist and dragging him into the forest…
"No! Stop it! What's going on!? Let go!" he yells and struggles against me. When we are away from unwanted eyes I let him go, but I make sure he can't get away form me…
I smirk and he finds that his leg is broken, jee, I wonder how that happened?
He realizes there is no way out, and starts crawling backwards, away from me. I try not to chuckle as I walk forward after him.
He is struggling, sweating, panting; exhausted. I know he is trying to find an escape, to fight back, but I bound his magic and he can't get up steadily.
He is mine.
There is a large boulder behind him and me in front of him, he stops and gulps, waiting, I suspect, for the final blow. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries not to whimper, I know, but I do not bring zar'roc down on him.
Instead, I kneel beside him and see that he is shaking. I feel his wound on his leg, and slide my hand upwards. I hear him gasp but don't bother to look up, because this time he does whimper.
Poor Eragon. You're almost too innocent and pure for me, I think bitterly.
My hands reach his chest and his arms give out, he lays there, watching my hand, wondering what could be going through my mind. He'll find out soon though.
I kneel closer to him as my fingers brush against his neck gingerly, and he closes his eyes as they brush his lips, his cheek.
I smile and move my thumb to massage his cheek, and he opens his eyes warily.
"Eragon." I say, his eyes widen. I say his name not as enemies or brothers, but as a lover would call the other to him.
He knows I know, and he knows I feel the same. The realization flickers through his mind, but he is still hesitant.
"I'm sorry I hurt you." I say softly and glance at the cut on his arm. I heal it quickly, but not his leg, not yet.
He still says nothing, but I don't mind. He is paralyzed by my touch; I revel in the closeness, in being able to feel his soft skin under my fingertips. I tip his chin back and he closes his eyes again and fights a moan as I rub his neck, I know.
I lean down and place soft kisses along his neck, and he stiffens. I don't care.
"Murtagh." He says this weakly. And I lift my head to gaze into his uneasy eyes. I lean in closer, he doesn't resist. I kiss him softly at first, then passionately; hungrily.
I pry open his mouth and slide my tongue in, he moans and hesitantly brings a hand up to cup my cheek as he also hesitantly responds. I smile and deepen the kiss, running my hand along his neck and onto his chest.
He does the same. It seems he's taking this well, more so than I expected, but hey, if he felt the same, I'm not surprised that he has been longing for this ever since we saw each other that last time.
I slowly pin down his legs with my own and get on top, surprisingly, he arches his back and wraps his arms around my neck. But wait, is he crying?
I lift my head to look at him and see tears running down his face, I suck in a breath and ask, "Are you hurt, Eragon, what's wrong?" although many unwanted answers shot through my mind.
Yes. You're hurting me by doing this to me. Yes, I'm only giving in so it won't hurt too badly. Yes, how could you do this to me? Yes. This is wrong, we shouldn't be doing this. Yes. I can't believe you would take advantage of me like this.
"No, I'm…" he replies and I let go a breath I didn't know I was holding. "I'm just happy, but sad." He tells me, searching my eyes.
"Why?" I ask and cup his cheek. He leans into my hand and brushes his lips against my palm.
"I'm happy that you feel the same, but I'm sad that you're my brother, and the enemy, and this is wrong. Also, it might be the first and last time we can be together like this because of Galbatorix." He says into my palm, not looking at me until he ends the sentence.
My features soften even more because I know he is right. I nuzzle him and rest my head on his chest in the crook of his neck.
"I know. But we can run away, we can hide." I say and look up at him. He looks sad still, and I can see the answer in his eyes, but still he says what I dread.
"We can't, you know that. I need to help the Varden and Galbatorix will find us if we run. Hiding out will help no one." He says and runs his fingers through my hair.
I moan and close my eyes. He is relaxed now, content on lying there and staring into the sky.
"I know, just…stay here with me for a while, please?" I ask and he does not move. I smile and we lay there like that for what seems like eternity.
I can sense that Thorn is happy, so I guess that he managed to convince Saphira that he can be trusted, and that he cared for her. I am glad.
It is getting later in the evening, for the battle was in the morning. We will have to return to our respective sides soon, but tomorrow will be soon enough, whether the Varden and Galbatorix like it or not.
I grin as I think this and look at Eragon, who is staring into the sky. I nudge him and he looks at me, sees my wicked grin, and blushes.
"We should be going back." He says, trying to get away again. I don't let him get up and purr into his ear, "Tomorrow would be soon enough, Eragon."
He shudders and I can feel him blush more, but he nods and smiles sheepishly. I smile wickedly and kiss him fiercely.
We ravage each other to no end, stopping only to catch our breath or switch places, but we don't want to lose each other, we cling to each other, as if someone will come and take us away form each other any minute, which could very well happen.
I memorize every feature of his body, not only by sight, but by touch. He does the same. I long for this night to last for eternity, but alas, it does not.
I wake up with Eragon in my arms, sleeping soundly while breathing heavily. I look down at him and see bruises. I guess I roughed him up a bit too much. Then again, I have bruises of my own, but I don't mind them, I always have bruises.
I run my fingers through his hair, onto his cheek. I brush them against his bruised lips, and hope to whatever gods are out there that Galbatorix doesn't get a hold of him. I could only imagine what he would do, and none of those images are pretty.
I shake my head to clear my thoughts, and watch the sun rise. It is then that I realize our current situation.
We are both lying on the grass, in the middle of the forest, naked, covered in sweat, blood, and something else…
He looks so innocent when he's sleeping, so fragile, so it is with some regret that I nudge him to wakefulness.
His eyes flutter open and he moans slightly, arms clinging tighter to me as he snuggles closer.
"Eragon, you have to wake up. You should sneak inside before anyone else wakes up." I tell him.
"No." he moans and won't let go. "Eragon." I say playfully and nudge him again. I know he doesn't want to leave, but we both must, maybe we can see each other soon, maybe…
"No!" he says and won't let me see his face. I don't want to hurt him, but he's losing time, we're both losing time.
"Eragon." I say sternly, he opens his eyes halfway, slowly, and some tears escape out of them. "Come on, we'll see each other soon." I say to him reassuringly.
"In battle." He replies and still won't let go. I feel his cheek and try to contact Thorn to wake him up also. The dragon is also wary against leaving his true love.
I get up and he is forced to do the same while still clinging to me. He tries to pull me back down, but I end up pulling him up. He pouts and looks around.
Our clothes are scattered around us, and our swords are resting against the stone. I see him glance towards them and stop him before he can reach them.
"Eragon! I'm flattered, really, but we'll see each other soon. Now contact your dragon and get back to the Varden before I drag you there myself, I'd gladly stay here with you until I die but that may be too soon for us if we don't get back. We'll have time for each other, I promise you." I tell him sternly, taking his face with my hands.
He pouts and looks down, sighing. "Fine." He says and grabs his clothing. I smile and kiss him on the cheek and linger there. "I love you." I whisper to him.
He gasps and looks at me in shock, then wonder. He hugs me and I fall down with the force while we're both smiling. He kisses me passionately then and it is to be our last for a very long, long time…
We are dressed and our dragons are beside us. We are solemn as we nod and mount. I can feel his eyes on me as Thorn lifts into the air and we fly away…
I never thought I'd walk away from you. I did. But it's a false sense of accomplishment. Every time I quit.
I return to Galbatorix's castle and he glares at me but says nothing. He knows, I can tell, but I don't care.
Anyone can see my every flaw. It isn't hard. Anyone can say they're above this all. It takes my pain away!
It's a lie. A kiss with open eyes, and he's not breathing back! Anything but bother me! (It takes my pain away) Never mind, these are hurried times! Oh, oh, oh! I can't let it bother me!
I can't let it bother me.
It takes my pain away!
It's a lie. A kiss with open eyes! And he's not breathing back! Anything but bother me! (It takes my pain away!) Never mind, these are hurried times! Oh, oh, oh! I can't let it bother me!
Takes my pain. Takes my pain. Takes my pain. Takes my pain away!
-Author's Note: This is going to be a two-shot unless you guys really want me to make it into a story, but the next chapter will be in Eragon's POV and will be slightly OOC and angsty, but the song for him will be "The Diary of Jane" by: Breaking Benjamin. I don't own that song either, but I love that band as well!!!! Please review and tell me what you think, if I make it into a story I might have a song for each chapter!!!!-