Title: Sure?

Author: Winter Plot

Rating: T

Summary: Remus tries to persuade Sirius into 'having at it', but Sirius, uncharacteristically says 'no'

Warnings: Uuummmmm. Boy - boy love. Really. Don't know about you, but the thought of two guys together is pretty hot. However, if you are defective and don't like the idea, you should a) get your head out of your ass and b) turn away until you do so. The other warning I must give you is Remus' HORRIBLE grammar. It hurt me.

I suppose spoilers of the 5th book? Although, anyone who's reading SiriusxRemus should already know this stuff by now...

Also, my dearest friend who shares this account with me beta'd this for me, and so any mistakes are her fault! (Just kidding, they're mine.)

Disclaimer: Don't own it at all... damnit. If I did... well, lets say things would be different.

Right, so I hope you like this. I think it's kinda cute. It was an OLD fic I wrote quite a few years back. Hope it sounds okay. And for anyone who's following/ can remember my other fics, (it's been ages since a new chapter was out on any of them) I promise that I'm working on them!

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"Are you sure about this, Remus?" Sirius asked him.

The 30-some werewolf nodded. Sirius ran a hand through his hair in frustration and leaned back in his chair. Remus frowned at the action from his spot on Sirius' lap. Their hot cups of cocoa were set on the living room table. Remus gave him a questioning look.

"Tell me why NOW." Sirius asked, adverting his eyes from Remus'.

Remus fiddled with a lock of Sirius' hair. "I don't know what you -"

"No. no, no." Sirius interrupted, eyes flashing angrily over Remus. "Don't give me that bullshit. You know what I mean." Sirius' hands went for his hair again, but Remus caught them and proceeded to examine the knuckles.

He shuffled so he was farther up on Sirius' lap. They sat like that for a couple minutes until Remus answered. "I wouldn't let you... make love to me, or whatever, in Hogwarts because, because I was afraid. I was afraid it was a, a, school fling. You were... horny, or something. That, when we graduated... you'd find a nice girl, or whatever. I didn't want the pain, and I didn't want you to feel restricted by me, because, well, you know... werewolves mate for life." Remus paused to sigh.

"And after Hogwarts? After I stuck by you?"

Remus frowned at him and continued to worry Sirius' knuckle. But the look in Sirius' eyes made him start again. "Then, I wanted a year outside Hogwarts for... verification. Then we were trying to get jobs, and I still wasn't sure because I never saw that much of you, really, and wondered if there was a, well, a girl. I didn't know if you really knew the repercussions of us mating.

"Then, the year of Voldemort, where we doubted everyone. Everyone. Even ourselves. And I couldn't take the chance, of, of, betrayal, of hurt. Then you were, you were taken to Azkaban." Remus looked up into his eyes. "But you're here now, and I want..."

Sirius looked at him, "but why NOW. Why not wait a few more years for 'verification'." The anger in Sirius' voice made Remus flinch.

With his eyes lowered and voice quiet, Remus answered. "You're back from that god-awful place, and... I want to prove I love you. Really prove, for not... without a doubt, believing you were innocent."

Sirius chuckled softly. "And your worries about mating? That seems to be a big problem for you."

"We were young, you... understand now."

"I dunno, Moony. I was aware of werewolves mating habit in the fifth year. I was ready then, even before I told you how I felt. And it's only NOW you realize my understanding, my ... love?"

Remus looked up at him with tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Sirius! I knew you loved me... but I was scared. So scared. Scared of so many things. You wouldn't love me, you would think I was no good, you'd leave me... everything possible came to my head. Even some outrageous ones like God would condemn you for having sex with me and giant monster loo's would come and eat you!"

Sirius laughed and pulled Remus close. "Neither of us is religious Moony, and, really...giant loo's?"

Remus sniffled into Sirius' shirt. " My imagination went a little overboard."

Once Sirius was sure Remus had finished blowing his nose on his shirt, he continued. "As much as I love, loved, and will always love you, Remus. I don't think this is a good idea."

Remus looked sadly up at him.

"I'm a grim, Remus." He seemed to explain. "Grims... We're meant to give death to those around us."

"You never believed in divination, Sirius."

"No. I don't. But I do believe in my gut instinct. And it's telling me no... because I know it will end up hurting you somehow."

"You're not cheating on me, are you?" Remus asked, looking worryingly up at him.

Sirius scoffed. "With who? God, no. I don't really get out that often. Snape? Crookshanks?"

Remus chuckled. "I don't really like that image."

"Neither do I." Sirius replied. He paused and stroked Remus' hair. "But really, Remus. I don't think it's a good idea."

"One of us is bound to die in old age anyway, Sirius. We'd have to face it any which way." Remus pouted, pulling at Sirius' shirt.

"This... isn't old age I'm worried about Remus. Look. Once Voldemort is defeated, we'll have sex, okay? And he WILL be defeated, so don't argue that." He smiled softly down at Remus. "I'm okay with just kisses and the odd blow job here and there." He winked at Remus and pulled him down into a kiss. "We'll wait." He finalized.

- - - - - - - - - - -

And wait Remus had. He knew that Sirius had predicted his own death. Perhaps he didn't know when, where, why, or how, but he knew he wasn't long for the world.

Remus was angry with him. The pain of a dead mate had to be much less than that of a would-be mate that he had never proven his love to.

Remus knew Sirius had suffered similar pain in Azkaban, and now he was showing Remus his pain, probably laughing at it all. Sirius had always gotten the last word. He always did. He always had to be the top dog. He was the dominant one, or would have been.

All Remus was certain of was it would have been good, hot, kinky sex.

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Right... so? What did you think? I like how Remus abandons all grammar in hopes of getting Sirius to understand his reasoning.

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-Winter Plot