Disclaimer: I do not own this series. If I did, I wouldn't be here writing about it, would I, hmm?
Dying Lullaby by GhostIce
Warnings: mild swearing, shounen-ai. Character suicides/deaths. Religous Imagery. And the characters are slightly OOC
Something new, something white, something old, something right...
"Tradition. That's what marriage is about. It's not about love. Tradition.
Isn't there a rhyme that said what you needed to obtain to have a happy marriage? If you got married with these specific things, you'd be together forever? What about the groom? So many questions.
Have you ever wondered what it's like for everyone else? The ones who couldn't get married, for whatever reason. Couldn't have children. Those were my thoughts as I sat through another mass last Sunday. My Priest was sitting up in the pulpit, screaming about how damned the homosexual people are. How God hates them. How they are going to hell. How much we sin...
I'm not saying that I'm gay, mind you. Oh no, I've had my fair share of women on my arm. Of course, that doesn't mean that I'm not at least a little bit on the
the 'rainbow' side..."
My English class wasn't going as well as I'd planned. Ms Bitters' assignment was to write about a time where someone unknowingly said something against you, and you were offended. Not exactly "happy" papers. We should've known her by now, though.
"Dib!"
"Ma'am!"
"Come up to my desk!"
With a sigh, I got up and walked to her desk. She had a pen and a piece of paper in hand. "How is the essay? You seem to be slacking. And you know what happens to slacking children...I can always have you deported into the underground classroom!"
"No, Ms Bitters," I said, smirking. The demented old lady cheered me up for some reason. "I'm not slacking."
She nodded and flung her hand in the direction of my desk. "Then get back to work. Maybe exercising your brain will shrink that gargantuan head of yours."
My concentration went back to my essay. That was the only real incident of someone accidentally hurting me...it's usually done on purpose. I tried to think of something to write about. Sooner than I expected, the bell rang.
During lunch, I sought out Zim. He was my mortal enemy. Maybe he could think of some way to "accidentally" hurt me. I spotted him sitting at a table, poking at one of the inedible lunches our highskool made.
His lenses and wig were all too familiar in my mind. I've known him since our early years of elementary skool. Both he and Ms Bitters followed me into every class, for some reason. I have seem myself grow to enjoy his company. And it has been growing ever since.
I established my crush on Zim in the eighth grade. A sophomore in highskool now, it's almost common knowledge amongst everyone but him. It's funny- in middle skool, I was the "little goth kid" with a trenchcoat and a big head. Even then they assumed I was gay. Now I'm the "emo kid" who likes the boy with green skin and leather pants. My life has always revolved around my orientation.
I smiled as I walked up to Zim's table. Pulling a bag of chips out of my bag, I sat down and started to eat lunch with him. Our daily routine that we never acknowledged.
"Hey Zim."
His purple eyes looked at me. I could see the pinkish tint behind them. "What do you want?"
"Just talking. I'm a bit bored."
"And," he said, pushing his food around some more, "what does that have to do with Zim?"
I laughed lightly. He used first-person words in his speech now, but when it's just me, I guess he can't help but stick to the original third. "Nothing. I just happen to eat lunch with you every day. You have noticed that, haven't you?"
"Yes, and I always wondered why you did it."
I grew silent, not wanting to tell him the real reason. I drew my eyes to the table and waited for him to say something else. A few minutes went by before he spoke again.
"I want you to come over today."
My head snapped up. "What?"
"Come over today...it...it's important," he drew his saddend purple-pink eyes to mine. "Please."
"Okay. This isn't a trap...?"
He shook his head violently. "No," Zim whispered, "it's not. I promise. I just...I really need someone. Even you."
I nodded. The lunch bell rang again, and we were off to class. I was still wondering what he wanted.
I met Zim after the last class of the day. He was silent on the way to his house. I had to admit-he was starting to scare me. When we got to the plain green building, (he had long taken down the obvious I♥EARTH! signs) and sat down on his couch. Throwing off his wig and lenses, he broke down in front of me.
"I can't take it anymore. Too much pressure, too much everything. They...they..."
Red Irken tears trailed down his face. I wiped them away with my thumb, trying not to wince at the acidic burn. Before I knew it, I was wrapping my arms around his neck. "What did they do? Tell me, it's alright..."
"They...oh, Dib...the Tallest...they abandoned me. T-told me that I could j-just up and die if I w-wanted..."
"Sshhh. Don't die, Zim."
He was silent again. I started to shake. No...
"I already am."
Now I was the one crying. "No, Zim...you can't..."
"Water."
Of course. Irkens were allergic to water-he must have drank it as a poison. But, it would have already killed him...
"You did it today at a fountain."
"Yes."
I hugged him harder. We were so close-I could feel his slow, alien heart beat. His arms slowly came around me, hugging me back. "I...," my voice cracked. I was going to tell him. "Zim...I...I-I really...um...I really like you Z-Zim..."
He pushed me away. "Hm?"
"I love you, Zim!"
My eyes were closed, water droplets falling down my face. I felt them being rubbed away, followed by hisses of pain. "Mhm...me, ah...Zim too..."
I smiled. I opened my hazel eyes and gazed into his pink ones. He leaned towards me, and, before I knew it, I couldn't breathe. My lips were burning. I was kissing Zim. The alien that I had wanted to kill but 5 years earlier.
My hands roamed until they landed on Zim's back. I leaned back so far that I was lying on the couch, hugging Zim, kissing my first love. We enjoyed a few more moments until we both had to breathe.
My face was hot from blushing. "I..."
"Sshh," he said, putting his face to my chest. "Don't ruin it."
He pecked my lips once more, and sighed. Zim made himself comfortable on me, using my heart as a pillow. "Your heart beat...it's like a lullaby. Mmm..."
I looked up into the ceiling, wrapping my arms around him again. He was so still, so serene. I thought that he fell asleep. But, something was wrong. I couldn't place it. Everything seemed right-we were together, and I could faintly hear Gir down in the lab, probably breaking something. It took me awhile, but then I realized...
"Zim? Zim?! Are you..."
He wasn't breathing. His body was still warm, lips still a blushing green from the kiss.
Hot tears poured down my face as I went down into the herbal part of the lab. It was where Zim kept all of the chemicals.
I wanted to die.
Before the Tallest insulted him, he had been planning to kill me by poison. I knew where he kept it. I grabbed the bottle labeled "mint mixture-Dib". I was deathly allergic to mint, and I thought that it would be fitting, because Zim had died from something harmless that only he was allergic to. Mint was harmless to others, except for me. I wonder when he gave up on killing me?
At the same time that he realized he loved you...
I slowly unhearthed some more bottles. I found some iodine, and put a few drops into the mint. I was so tired, so upset. I couldn't breathe.
Back upstairs, I prepared to drink the poison, when I saw a note in Zim's pocket. Why hadn;'t I noticed it before? I began to read it.
Dear Dib.
Hopefully you are here, at my house. I was planning on asking you over during lunch. If it's not Dib, I want you to tell all of this ti him:
I loved you. You were the first human that I ever had feelings for. Honest.
I wish you were here. I'm sure that wherever I am, I will be watching you. I loved you so much. Even in the silence.
The water burned.
Don't follow me. Please.
Forever yours,
♥
Zim
"Well," I said, holding up the cold bottle. "Wouldn't want the mint to go to waste now, would I?"
I downed the drink, feeling the warmth of iodine spread through my veins. I smiled, and slipped back under Zim, letting his lifeless form look serene on my stomach again. He looked so beautiful, so happy.
I felt sleepy. Holding Zim against me, I fell back and awaited sleep to take me. I wasn't going to wake up.
"Dad? Dad! Dib didn't come home from skool!"
My dad, Professor Membrane, came out of the kitchen. "Daughter, are you sure?"
I nodded.
He drove me to skool, where we searched for him. The principal said that he went home with Zim. He drove me to Zim's house quickly, and we shot out of the car. Bursting into the room, we rolled our eyes at the scene on the couch.
Zim and Dib were sleeping! Everyone knew that my brother was at least a little bit gay. I never thought that he and Zim were together.
I walked over to where they were, preparing to wake them up. I even surprised myself when I let out a scream of pure terror. I couldn't even bring myself to believe it.
Dib was my only brother. The only one I will ever have.
And my brother was dead.
The End
Okay so, what did you think? Read and rate!!!
Did you know that Dib was supposed to die in Bad, Bad Rubber Piggy? Yep! But Nick wouldn't let the AMAZING Jhonen Vasquez do it. So I did it for him. xx
Bye!
GhostIce