The Powerpuff Girls
Mortality Paradox
Deus Ex Procella
The city of Townsville! A perfect, cheerful and utterly joyous place to live! And on this wonderful Sunday, in the suburban home of the world renowned Utonium family, the Powerpuff Girls were resting and enjoying a much-needed break from the constant break-neck speed of the crime fighting profession.
Blossom sat at the kitchen table, pouring over a pile of books far more gargantuan than her own tiny body. Bubbles was seated in the living room, coloring in an oblivious daze of happiness completely unaware that she had run out of paper and was using the wall as a canvas. Buttercup, in order to best enjoy her time away from crime fighting, was in the training room fighting holographic criminals to further heighten her skills.
The good Professor himself sat on the couch in the living room, unaware of Bubbles' repainting the walls, while working out his latest theorem. With Buttercup spending her day off fighting crime instead of crime fighting, it was simply far too noisy in the lab for him to work there. Save for the occasional dulled explosion or scream of nitwitted horror from the training room, everything was quiet and peaceful in the house.
But like all good things, the quiet was finally brought to an abrupt halt when the doorbell rang. At first, the Professor didn't move from his seat, hoping to screen out any unwanted salesmen or girl scouts. However, by the third ring he finally stood up and called out "I've got it!"
"May I help you?" He asked, swinging the door open and smiling kindly. He was not greeted by a person, but by a giant metallic foot. The Professor opened his eyes and still smiling shaded his eyes from the sun as he looked up at the giant robot connected to the foot. At the top he saw the dark silhouette of Mojo Jojo in the glass cockpit, grinning down wickedly.
"Why yes Professor, can the girls come out and play?" The Professor waved in a friendly way and turned around, stepping back into the house and closing the door.
"I'll check, oh girls! Mojo is here and he brought a new toy for you to play with!" Mojo waited impatiently and finally the door opened and the three girls flew out, looking around frantically.
"He said there were toys! Look for them!" Blossom said, with a giant smile on her face. Mojo's face fell and a growl came to his throat.
"Hello! I'm up here! This is the toy!" The girls turned and looked at the sparkly new Robo Jojo and promptly burst into giggles. Bubbles was the first to recover enough from her bout of girlish laughter to look up at Mojo.
"Oh Mr. Mojo, don't be silly! The Professor said there was a new toy! Not your same old Robo Jojo!" The girls all burst into hysterical giggles once more and continued their frantic search for the new toy the Professor had promised. Mojo waited a few more minutes, hoping that maybe it would dawn on them that he wanted to fight them. However, he severely overestimated the intelligence of three six-year-olds who had been told a toy was waiting for them outside.
Growing frustrated, Mojo armed the shoulder canons of the robot, and fired out two duranium saw blades at the Powerpuff Girls. Blossom was unfortunately the one unlucky enough to be in their line of sight and was promptly hit in the back. She fell face first to the ground and looked at the two saw blades lying next to her.
"Blossom! Are you okay?" Buttercup rushed over to her sister, while Bubbles glared at Mojo.
"That wasn't nice Mojo! You shouldn't hit people from behind!" Mojo stared in shock, watching Blossom rub the back of her head and pick up one of the saw blades.
"Ow! Mojo that really stung! See how you like it you big jerk!" With a sharp throw, the saw blade went whizzing through the air once more, slicing through the cockpit and causing the robot to fall to the ground uselessly. The three puffs stared in horror as blood began to pour from the shattered cockpit.
"Blossom! What did you do?" Blossom stared in shock and nearly gagged when Mojo's decapitated head rolled out into the open. Bubbles' hands flew to her mouth, but she was too late to hold in her physical reaction to this repulsive scene. A sickening belch was heard, followed by the equally disgusting sight of vomit flying through the air and across the sidewalk. Buttercup looked at Blossom then Bubbles, the latter of the two sisters vomiting uncontrollably.
"Oh my God, what have I done?" Blossom asked stupidly. Judging by Mojo's lifeless cranium, no one even had to guess what Blossom had done, "Oh no, if anyone finds out about this my reputation is ruined! They'll send me to jail! I was just mad I didn't want to kill him! No one can know about this!" Blossom turned and pointed at Buttercup, "You! You can't tell anyone!" she whipped around and pointed to her still regurgitating sister, "You can't either! No one must know!" Buttercup held her hands up defensively.
"Relax Bloss, we won't tell anyone. We'll just say he did it to himself," Blossom whipped around and thrust her mitt in Buttercup's face accusingly.
"You lie! You'd do anything to see me go down you jealous brat!" Buttercup's eyes widened as Blossom promptly pounced on her brunette sister. Bubbles lay on the ground, still vomiting uncontrollably. She managed to finally stop throwing up, but looking up she saw both her own vomit and Mojo's head and began vomiting again.
Nearby Blossom and Buttercup rolled around on the ground, the former's mitts wrapped around her sister's neck. When Buttercup finally stopped fighting Blossom dragged her dead body to the bushes and threw it in. She turned and looked at Bubbles, who was helplessly sick.
"Oh no! Bubbles saw everything! She'll tattle on me! I can't let that happen!" Blossom flew over to Bubbles and rolled her still puking sister over. Blossom held Bubbles' mouth closed, which caused her sister to more frantically struggle beneath her, forcing the vomit back down her throat. Bubbles' face turned blue and only moments later she was dragging another lifeless body into the bushes. Dumping Bubbles next to Buttercup she breathed a sigh of relief and headed for the house. The door opened and the Professor stepped out and smiled at his red-haired daughter.
"Why hello there Blossom! It looks like you kids had fun!" Blossom's eyes widened and her mouth fell open. She took a step back and looked around, at Mojo's robot and in the direction of where Bubbles and Buttercup's bodies were hidden.
"Professor! You saw everything!" The Professor looked at her in confusion.
"I saw what? By the way where are your sisters?" Blossom's eyes bulged out.
"You did see!" Blossom leapt at her father and threw a powerful punch, catching him in the cheek. The Professor's neck snapped and he went flying through the air, smashing through the back wall of the house and landing dead in the back yard. Breathing heavily Blossom looked around, flooded with paranoia. Across the street she noticed Talking Dog staring in shock at what had happened. Blossom spun around and pointed a mitt at Talking Dog.
"You…" In a flash of pink she shot across the street and threw a kick, sending Talking Dog screaming and flying into orbit. Panting Blossom backed away, stepping into the street. A car slowed to a stop and seeing the terror-stricken look on Blossom's face, the kindly gentleman in the car got out and knelt down beside her.
"Hey little girl, you look awfully scared. Are you alright?" Blossom looked up and stared at the man with eyes gripped by horror.
"Mister…could you come closer?" The man nodded and leaned in, in case Blossom wanted to whisper something to him. Blossom's mitts wrapped around the man's neck and with a jerk she pulled him to the ground and snapped his neck. Breathing heavily, she tossed the man's body onto the sidewalk and fell on her butt, a very creepy smile on her face.
"Oh God, I can't stop…I just can't stop myself…" Blossom looked up and saw Mitch, the Pokey Oaks Kindergarten bully, staring at her with a grin on his face.
"Hey Blossom, where's Buttercup? We were going to go play baseball today!" Blossom stared at Mitch and slowly put two-and-two together. He knew! Mitch knew the truth and he would definitely tell everyone!
"You sick sonuva!" Blossom tackled Mitch and began beating him with repeatedly more powerful punches until he was reduced to a pile of goop on the street. Blossom stood up and looked up, glaring at the sky. She walked away for a few moments and suddenly a scream was heard. A balding, overweight man dressed in a tacky, cheap suit was tossed from the foreground. He lay on the ground holding a script that read "The Powerpuff Girls". Blossom walked back into the scene and kicked the man in the side.
"That's for spying on us you freak!" Blossom looked down at her bloody mitts and sighed. "Why can't I stop? Oh God I'm going to be in so much trouble…no one can know about this!" She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up, seeing Ms. Keane. The kindly teacher knelt down and gave Blossom a friendly smile.
"Why hello there! And how is my best student today?" Blossom didn't answer, she stared back at Ms. Keane with wide, fearful eyes. The teacher saw the dead fat man and gasped.
"Oh my! What happened he!" Ms. Keane was cut off by a car landing on top of her. Blossom dusted her hands off and panted.
"This feels too good…I really need to stop, I have to do something about the bodies…" A signal appeared in the sky and Blossom immediately answered the Powerpuff Signal, hoping that maybe a change of scenery would get her out of trouble. Landing in the mayor's office she saw the Mayor and Ms. Bellum standing at his desk.
"Well hello there Blossom! It's so great to see you today…uh…why are you here?" Blossom stared at the Mayor, then looked at Ms. Bellum who only sighed and shook her head.
"Where are your sisters, Blossom? We've received phone calls about some kind of disturbance in Pokey Oaks?" Blossom's eyes widened and she began whistling.
"What's that tune you're whistling Blossom? I have to say it's pretty catchy!" Ms. Bellum slowly backed away, staring at the Mayor in shock.
"Mr. Mayor…that's For Whom the Bell To," The office suddenly collapsed. Blossom floated above the now destroyed City Hall and looked back and forth nervously.
"A lot of people saw me kick out that support beam…I need to make sure they don't tell anyone! But how? That's a lot of people! Maybe I could…I know!"
About five minutes later, people ran screaming in the street as the Powerpuff Dynamo stomped through Townsville, knocking over buildings and swinging a giant fly swatter. Blossom at the controls stared in horror at everything she was doing, but just couldn't find it in her to stop. If everyone knew it was HER, she'd be in big trouble! No sir! Blossom Utonium of the Powerpuff Girls would not go to jail! She'd just have to make sure no one found out!
"Super Laser!" The Dynamo held up its hands and a giant laser razed half the city, leaving it a smoldering crater. Blossom then ejected from the robot. Moments later the robot exploded in a giant mushroom cloud.
Standing on a rooftop, Blossom watched the fires spread throughout the city. She barely noticed as someone walked up beside her and stood there. She felt a hand on her shoulder but didn't react, staring in shock at how much damage she'd caused. How was she ever going to cover THIS mess up?
"My, you really know how to keep a secret Blossom," Blossom looked up and sighed, seeing the devil Him standing next to her. Him shook his head and looked over the city, one claw by his brow to block the sunlight so that he could survey all of the damage.
"My, my, such a nice job! And to think I was going to release Monkey Flu into the water supply but, well looks like you took care of everyone for me!" Blossom stared in horror, then looked back out over the city and watched a skyscraper fall and explode in a miniature mushroom cloud. Him sighed, his plans for the day had been ruined by this turn of events.
"So…you wanna go see a movie?" He asked with a shrug. Blossom slowly turned to face him, then looking over the city again shrugged and held his claw as they walked to the exit from the roof.
"Yeah sure, I hear Mad TV'S Stewart The Movie is supposed to be good!"
"Oh really? I've always wanted to see a Stewart movie!"
"Oh me too! I'm so glad they made it finally!" Another explosion rocked the city, people screaming ran through the streets. Yes just another peaceful Sunday in the city of Townsville. Thanks to The Powerpuff Girls!
Author's Notes: This fic is both a twisted parody of Parsec's legendary Immortality Syndrome and is heavily based on a skit from the hit show Mad TV hence the shout out in the ending. Please do not take this seriously, I am well aware Blossom is OoC.