A/N: A list that I've been compiling since I first saw them meet.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

1. Sometimes, she would actually sit down and try to outline everything that had gone wrong with them.

2. It surprised her how little there was.

3. She liked to think that she had chosen Yale because of the list she made…

…but really, she had chosen it because of him.

5. She didn't think anyone realized that she had slept with Dean exactly one year to the day of that kiss at Sookie's wedding.

6. She wished that he had been her first.

7. If he had stuck around, she just might have gotten her wish.

8. If he had stuck around, she would have said it back.

9. If he had stuck around, she would have made it work.

10. Even though she never told him, he made her feel beautiful.

11. She liked to think that she didn't need to wallow because he didn't mean anything…

…but really, she was afraid she would try and find him.

12. Once, Paris had asked her if she wanted to come to California with her over the holidays.

13. She said no.

14. She didn't admit that she hated the west coast.

15. She didn't admit that she hated it because of him.

16. Part of her knew that Logan was exactly the type of guy he would have hated to see her with.

17. She thinks that's partly why she was with him.

18. She never showed anyone, but she made a pro/con list about him, once.

19. She threw it out.

20. Because there were some things she knew couldn't be assessed.

21. She liked to think that said no because she didn't love him…

…but really, she was scared that she was too in love.

22. She had a hickey on her shoulder bone from him, and it never completely healed.

23. She kind of liked it there.

24. Ironically, both their rebounds (or distractions) had been blond.

25. Ironically, hers came second.

26. Ironically, hers came late.

27. Part of the reason she liked Catcher in the Rye so much was that it reminded her of him.

28. She couldn't watch a magician without getting supremely depressed.

29. All the reasons she found to support that he wasn't the right guy for her were stupid.

31. Even Lorelai said so.

32. Part of her wished that she had never met him, because at least then she would still hate Earnest.

33. She liked to think that you couldn't have so much love for someone you hated…

…but the feeling in her heart told her differently.

34. She had fallen, hard.

35. And she sort of wished that he would help her up.