A/N: Sorry for not updating this for so long. I stopped being content with it because it seemed like a bad, too-cheesy, slash a newbie would've written, but I found my inspiration in reviews. So for that, I would like to thank you all very much! I know thanking reviews is more like a newbie thing, but I really can't help myself.

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I numbly closed my locker. I feel like I've been doing all my actions numbly for the past week.

My brothers have been worried that maybe I am falling in depression. I'm becoming an insomniac, I rarely crack a smile, and I pay attention a lot less. Not to mention that I didn't do so well in this week's test exams. Maybe I am in depression.

I have been that way since I ran out on Johnny after I told him my dreaded secret. Johnny stopped coming to school, and I wonder if it was because of me. How did he feel when I told him? I want to let him know that I love him no matter what, but how can I if that might not be the truth? I feel myself loving Dallas as much as Johnny. What's going on with me?

I was at lost.

My legs were numb now, so I turned and leaned onto the lockers. I slid down, feeling my back grinding at the coldness of the lockers until I landed on the floor. Everyone was rambling and roaming around the hall, but it was all like a blur.

I didn't feel any emotion or anything. I felt blank. Completely, utterly blank. So empty, it's like I wasn't human anymore.

I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to meet the eyes of the school's student counselor. I realized something. The hall was empty. Where is everyone? Weren't they just walking around and causing loud noises of talking right now?

"What are you doing on the floor?" asked the student counselor. I don't know her name; only her clients know, and I don't know any of them.

"Where is everyone?" was the first thing that came out of my mouth.

"They're in class," she said in a way that it seemed so obvious.

"Since when?" Honestly, they were here just seconds ago! They couldn't be going to class that fast.

"Is there something wrong with you?" she asked, "Class has started ten minutes ago,"

That mentally threw me back. I must be paying attention a lot less than ever.

"Is there anything wrong?"

I shook my head hesitantly as I stood up. Oh please, don't let me be a client or patient of this woman nor any sort of doctor.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Yes!" I answered immediately. I seem to be losing my impressive abilities to lie really good, because she wasn't buying it.

"Would you like me to take you to the nurse's office?"

I shook my head again, "Honestly, I'm okay...I just zone out a lot,"

She eyed me suspiciously and continued, "Okay, but don't let this happen again. If it does, I will call the principal." she walked away.

I sighed deeply. I cannot let this happen again, so I need to focus more. That's going to be a really difficult task that I can't guarantee myself that it would happen.

I arrived to class. When I closed the door behind me, I was receiving glances by Mr. Syme and half of the students.

"You're late, Mr. Curtis," Mr. Syme said, "What happened?"

"There was a problem with one of the bathroom stalls and couldn't get out," I said with a hand behind my head, "It's fixed now,"

He pointed at my seat, instructing me to sit down. He then started to re-announce the classwork that was given.

-

I could barely focus on my homework. My mind would drift me to think about either Dallas, Johnny, or just emptiness. When I bring myself back into reality, I would look down at my work and always become surprise because I am much more behind than I think. After writing a few words, my mind drifts off again. This sort of thought process occurs a lot, and it's becoming more frequent. I need to see Johnny. Or Dallas. One of the two, because this could drive me to counseling. I do not want to go there because once I'm there, it's impossible to get out without giving whatever possible answer. And the answer needs to be the truth.

"Hey Ponyboy," Darry said. I turned to see his head peeking out from the bedroom door.

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to come and eat?"

"What's for dinner?"

"Soda's special orange mashed potatoes." he said with a smile, "He claimed to have used edible products when I asked him."

I gave him a fake laugh, "I'll be there soon," With that answer, he left.

I looked down at my work. I don't think I'm able to finish this. I'm so far behind; I was zoning out so much. I closed all my textbooks and notebooks and stuffed them into my bag. I wasn't content with the fact I am going to school tomorrow with incomplete homework. It has been happening for days now. This could come to a point where one sentence is all I could do. I allowed my upper body to fall onto the pillow with a grunt, mentally noting myself to go eat dinner quickly. I didn't feel like moving my legs though. Ever since the situation occurred, laziness took the toll on my life, followed by sadness.

I now knew that I need to see Dally or Johnny more than ever.

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A/N: I hope this is enough to please some of you for now.

Happy reviews give me inspiration, so go click the 'go' button! n.n