A/N: This was written in protest of the tearing down of the Moondance Diner. The great Jonathan Larson worked there while he was writing RENT.
"Are you sure this is going to work, you guys??" Mark bit his lip, gazing out the window nervously.
"Chill out, Mark! Here…have some fries." Collins smirked at him, pushing the small plate over.
"No, thanks." The filmmaker shook his head. "I can't eat until this whole thing is over."
"It'll be fine, sweetie. I can just feel it. Trust me." Angel smiled warmly at him from across the table.
Mark shrugged doubtfully. Still, he did feel a tiny bit better. "You know...maybe they won't even come." He said hopefully. "After all, it's been 20 minutes…"
"Oh, shit…" Benny said, looking past Mark and out the window. "I think they're here…"
"Fuck!" Collins cried. "Hey, you guys…!" He shouted over to the next table where Mimi,Roger,Maureen and Joanne were sitting.
He didn't even need to explain to them what was happening, for they all had their gazes fixed on the approaching bulldozer.
In an instant, everyone was sliding out of their booths and racing out the door, running to the front of the restaurant. They stood there, brave and motionless. Staring down that monster of a machine. Mark could feel his legs shaking.
Finally, the bulldozer stopped about 20 feet from where they were standing. The filmmaker let out a sigh of relief.
A short, stocky man hopped out of the machine and began stalking towards them with a scowl on his face.
"Thomas…" Angel whispered over to Collins, swallowing nervously. "I'm scared…"
Collins squeezed her hand.
"You kids better leave!" The man demanded in a gruff tone as he approached them. "Or else…"
"Or else what?" Angel asked him sweetly. She smiled cheerfully…this pissed him off even more.
"Or else…!" The man sputtered, turning red in the face.
"No!" A yell broke out of Mark. He whipped his ancient camera up and aimed it at the guy as if it was a weapon, making him jump.
"Listen, here…" Mark squinted, looking at his nametag. "Sam! I've got my camera poised and ready for action! You can't squash us with your bulldozer… 'cause if you do, my camera will provide the cold, hard evidence of murder! That's right…murder!! You'll be in prison for life with 8 homicides on your record. Your great grandkids won't even be able to bail you out…"
"Mark…" Collins cut in. "Breathe, man. It's okay. Just breathe…"
"You know…" Joanne spoke to Sam. "We are well within our rights to peacefully protest against this." She smiled smugly.
Sam stared at them, dumbfounded. "Look, I'm just following orders…"
"Why can't you think for yourself??" Mimi questioned. "Have you even been to this place before? It's amazing!"
"I'm just doing my job!" Sam spat.
Collins and Angel began to hum the tune of "We Shall Not Be Moved".
"Oh, for Christ's sake!" Sam rolled his eyes, exasperated.
"How dare you try to tear down this wonderful building! The food here is cheap and delicious. Some people don't have anywhere else to go! Instead…you want to tear it down and build some more rich, prissy-assed, yuppie scum buildings?? It's just so wrong! You heartless bastard!" Maureen ranted, close to tears.
Sam's mouth dropped open. "Excuse me??"
"And I ought to know…I used to be a yuppie scum just like you." Benny chimed in, grinning.
"This is the home of some of the best food in New York City. Here and the Life Café, that is." Roger pointed out.
"Yeah! The thickest, creamiest milkshakes!" Maureen yelled. And then she got an idea. "Hmmm…. milkshakes…" She whispered to herself…
"The best cheeseburgers!" Mimi added, now feeling very hungry.
"The tastiest fries!" Collins bellowed.
"Delicious toasted cheese sandwiches!" Angel grinned. "And friendly service…you almost feel like you're at home…"
Suddenly, everyone was interrupted by a slow, sweet chanting coming from Maureen.
"The only thing to do
Only thing to do is jump!
Only thing to do is jump over the moooon!" Maureen whirled around and stretched up her arms to the revolving Moon sign on top of the restaurant. Then, she spun back around to face Sam with an evil grin on her face.
"Moo with me."
Sam raised an eyebrow, kind of spooked. "What the hell…?"
"Mmmmooooooooooo!!!" Maureen poised her fingers on top of her head as if they were horns. She had a mad look in her eyes.
Sam began walking backwards cautiously. "Stop it…"
"Mmmmmmooooooooooooo!!!!" Maureen mooed louder, as if she had mad cow disease.
"STOP MOOING AT ME!!!" Sam cried.
"MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" The bohemians screamed. They all poised their fingers like horns and began to charge him.
Sam screamed. He turned around and took off, running for his life. He left his bulldozer behind.
The team cheered. Hugs, kisses, and high fives were exchanged all around.
"Yeeess!" Angel screamed. She clung onto Collins' arm, both of them were hopping up and down with excitement as if it was New Years. "I knew we could do it, you guys!!"
"Kiss my ass, Sam!!" Maureen shouted even though he was long gone.
Mark grinned, very glad he caught this all on film.
"Let's celebrate!!" Mimi cried.
"YEAH!!!" A collective shout rose up from the group.
"…BY TAKING THE BULLDOZER AND PLOWING IT INTO THE HOMES OF YUPPIE SCUM!!!" Maureen giggled madly.
"Um…how about we just stuff ourselves and get drunk instead??" Angel offered, smiling sweetly.
"Well, okay. That's good, too." Maureen agreed.
Grinning happily, the friends dashed back into the diner.
THE END