From: m00nh0wler
are your hols? I hope you've done all your homework; I won't bail your sorry ass next time! Yes, I'm watching you! So go! Now! And do your homework! As soon as you have finished this e-mail! My holidays are very boring so far… wish you guys were here! I'm thinking of growing my hair a bit; the spiky brunette look is getting a bit old, don't you think? E-mail back ASAP! Oh, and if you talk to James ever… MAKE HIM CHECK HIS E-MAIL!!! That guy never looks in his inbox…
Love From
Your Favourite Werewolf and esteemed Intellectual
Remus Lupin.
From: h4lfbl00dpr1nce
I bet you thought that was really funny Black. Well guess what… I don't. No, very immature, and sad and stupid. Nobody else thought it was funny either. Next time it will be YOU who everybody will be laughing at, and I shall be the one who everybody will respect and admire. I won't have to try very hard. After all, I am much smarter than you. So be afraid, Black. I would watch your back if I were you….
Your Worst Nightmare
Severus Snape
From: RedHex
We have received your order of
black leather jacket (x 1)
black skinny jeans (x 3)
lycra t-shirt in midnight coal (x 5)
studded belt (x 1)
black combat trousers (x 1)
black doc martens (x 1)
black sneakers (x 1)
You should receive your parcel in 5-6 days. Thank you for shopping at the Red Hex Fashion Warehouse. Please enjoy your purchases, and feel free to make many more in the future.
Cindy Westwood
Red Hex Fashion Warehouse.
From: p0tionzpr1ncess
Is quidditchhero69 James's e-mail or did I get the wrong one? It's just he never answers my e-mails and I wondered if I had written the wrong one down or something?
See you,
Lily
From: m00nh0wler
No! I am NOT dyeing my hair black. No way. I am growing it longer, but that is IT. I don't care how "hot" black hair is. My hair will stay its gorgeous natural honey brown and there is nothing you can do about it!
Did you get a threatening e-mail off Snape? I got one as well. I guess he found out it was us, huh? Well, he can't touch us. I'd like to see him try. I started reading an interesting book called "The Midnight Werewolf." Have you read it?
Lots of Love and Hugs
Lord Moony Esquire
From: m00nh0wler
I did not say your hair was hot!! I was being sarcastic! And of course I am obsessed with werewolves you idiot! I am a werewolf!! Idiot!! The book is veeeery good; you should try reading some time instead of thinking up witty comments. My hair is a whole inch longer than when you last saw me. It is very nice looking! I use Herbal Essences shampoo so it smells nice and is all soft and silky unlike yours!!
He of the Magnificent Hair
Mr Remus Moony
From: quidditchhero69
whoah sirius that is completely insane111 hey how come I cant get that dumb exclamation mark to work///// this computer is soooo stupid1111 oh and lily sent me like 30 e-mails, I was just like whoah and I emailed back but I think she's kinda mad at me or something cos I didn't reply before//// I dunno, well I'll see you guys in september if I don't talk to you before111
bye111
James
From: h4lfbl00dprince
No, I am not scared. You are. You can't scare me. I am unshakeable, and you are trembling in fear. And what do you mean have a bath? For your information I wash regularly, unlike some. So have a bath yourself, loser.
Completely better than you.
S. Snape.
From: m00nh0wler
That is just… Sirius!! No, I do not do ANYTHING in the shower with Herbal Essences. What shampoo do you use then? I bet it sucks. And what do you mean you have better things to do than read a boring book? Books aren't boring!! I am glaring at you now!!
Love you too, Moony
From: m00nh0wler
You are joking aren't you? Ugh. You better be joking! Anyway, if you did, your hair would be all disgusting, greasy and slimy, and it isn't, it's nice and soft and normal, although it is much too long! You need to cut it!
Mr Faultless Hair
xx
From: kissmeimscottish92
Mr Black,
Thank you for the gift package of fudge and toffees. Unfortunately, I am not allowed to overlook the serious allegations made against you by Severus Snape. You will be required to attend detention on the first Tuesday of term.
Thanks again for the toffees. And by the way, you can call me Minerva if we are just talking by e-mail.
Hope to see you soon!
Minerva McGonagall.
From: m00nh0wler
I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH YOUR HAIR!!!! You have very nice hair, but I much prefer my own, thank you very much. And as for Professor "call me Minerva" McGonagall, quite frankly I suggest you report her to Dumbledore. That is student harassment in the making. Tell me if she asks to meet you, and I'll hex her for you.
Indignantly Outraged,
Remus Lupin
From: m00nh0wler
What do you mean I'm jealous? Can't a man be protective of his friend? Is that what you're saying? Would you rather I allowed you to be taken advantage of by old women? Would you? Without me to protect you, god knows what would happen to you! Rocketing around on that bloody bike of yours… I am merely expressing my concern for your wellbeing. That is all.
Buena Amigo
Moony.
From: m00nh0wler
Yeah, Buena is female, but Amigo is male, so ha. I win, you lose. Moony 1, Padfoot 0. Go me! I rule! And don't you call me an old woman! I am a man as much as you. More mature, sure, but compared to you, that would not be very hard, now would it? Wait a minute… if I'm an old woman… that would mean I was taking advantage of you! Is that what you were insinuating?
Confused but very much masculine
King Remus
From: ratpack44
Please can you help with Transfiguration homework? I really don't understand what we have to do… is it two paragraphs for each spell? I don't understand. Please help! Also for History of Magic, do we need to know all the goblins? What were they called? I wasn't listening in class! Please help! Please!
Yours Pleadingly
Peter
From: m00nh0wler
Sirius, Sirius. You need to get out more. Proved by your "you can take advantage of me all you want," comment. As well as your "you sure are a man" one… well thank you for the compliment Padfoot, but I don't need you to tell me that. I knew it already. Is this flattery a cunning plan to get me to tell you the answers to the Charms homework?
Yours forever,
Your One True Love (not)
Remus xxxxxxx (lol)
From:: ratpack44
Thank you, thank you thank you Sirius! You saved my life! Thank you so much! I worship you, my idol Padfoot! Many thanks and gratitude! You are the true ruler of the world!
Your Loyal Servant
Peter
From: m00nh0wler
I really hope you were joking in your last e-mail. That e-mail made me blush and look quickly around to check nobody was reading it… and blush some more. It is most inappropriate language for a young man to be using. And no, I shall not be doing anything of the sort.
Appalled yet slightly curious,
Moony
From: m00nh0wler
Dear Sirius…
Not likely! However tempting your offer may be, I will politely refuse, thank you very much. For now anyway….
Remus
From: m00nh0wler
I AM NOT PLAYING HARD TO GET!!!
From: ratpack44
Do we have to mention Switching Spells in our essay?
Confused
Peter
From: m00nh0wler
Come on Sirius… stop ignoring me! How was I mean to you??? I wasn't mean to you! Talk to meeeeeee!!!
Love you
Remus
From: m00nh0wler
I did not admit anything… yet! What do I mean by that you wonder? Wouldn't you like to know!
The Right Honourable Remus Lupin