Disclaimer: I do not own anything.
Warnings: Spoilers! If you haven't watched Spider Man 3, I suggest you to not read this. Only if you don't mind getting spoiled.
Summary: Peter's thoughts and feelings after Spider Man 3 on what happened so far in his life and the loved ones that he lost.

I've Failed You

I was holding onto her and never wanting to let go. We both were in this position for a long time not wanting to interrupt the silence. I knew she was miserable and I too felt horrible. I did not care if anyone was looking at us, there was too much pain inside myself to notice my surroundings.

I decided to pull away from her and stared at her loving eyes. She looked straight at me and I can see the sorrow in her eyes. We both were lost to speak, as I tried my hardest to do or say anything. I decided to make the first move and opened my mouth to say something, but no words came through. She was still staring at me silently and watched every one of my actions.

"Why don't we go somewhere else?" I nervously suggested as she kept staring at me for a while. She slowly nodded her head trying to form a smile on her lips.

I smiled back at her and took her hand in mine and we left the place. I wanted us to be together alone somewhere. Somewhere away from the worry. But that was just too silly, because where ever I would go I would still have the same feeling.

The same feeling which composed of so many elements. Guilt, Anger, Frustration, Sadness and anything else except for anything positive. I seemed a little relieved that the city was in peace. But it will never be in peace, there will always be an evil that comes back. An evil to take yet another person away from my life.

I miss him, there I said it. I really do and she does as well. But I knew him longer and he was my best friend. We had so many problems we had to face and at times he questioned our friendship. Everything went wrong when he found out who I really was. I hated myself for taking all the things he had before. I took away his father from him, but I had a good reason towards it. I took away the love of his life, but I always adored her. And at the end, he forgot everything and helped me save her. I was happy when he forgave me.

I never hated him and I understood why he was furious about me and his own life. I wanted to help him as much as I could, because he was like my brother. I shouldn't even say like, he was my brother and I lost him.

I lost him and now he is dead, just like my uncle and my parents. Why does every precious thing I would have would be taken away from me? I just want to see him one more time, to tell him how sorry I am that it had to end up like this. He didn't deserve to die, he really didn't! I feel like I failed him, I failed every person I lost. I could have saved them all, but I didn't.

We went to the quietest place to be and that was the park. It was really beautiful at night when no one was around and the stars were shown in the night sky. Sitting down at a bench, we remained quiet just looking around. I glanced at her and I could see she was in deep thought. I guess no words can express how I-we felt now. I looked back at the sky in wonder.

I know he wouldn't like it if I sulked so much about him, but I couldn't handle it. I always wanted to be stronger than I am right now so that I don't have to handle my emotions getting to me. But I am just weak like that because I couldn't do anything and just end up crying like a little child. I am human and I make mistakes, everyone tells me and that I shouldn't blame everything on myself. But it always is my fault and I don't want to make anymore mistakes. Making them, just causes me more pain.

There is always a problem going on and I can never have a happy ending. I knew it from the beginning that there will be consequences and that I can never have a normal life. I just wish for once I could be happy and be with her. But right now, we're not ready to move forward and start a life. I don't even know what to do now.

Why must my life be complicated? Did I deserve everything I got? Was it my punishment or something? If only I knew why, then everything would make sense to me. But it probably will never make sense.

I am sorry Harry for ever hurting you. You probably are mad at me and tried covering it up back there. I would even be mad at me. I really wish you can be here right now, so that we can all go and have a fun time somewhere. But you're never coming back, it's really hard to believe.

A single tear fell out of my right eye and onto my hand. I looked down at my hands and I could tell I was clenching my fists. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned to face my lover. She smiled at me, trying her best to making it convincing for me. By this time, a few tears formed in my eyes and started falling and she noticed. She wiped my tears away and placed her head on my chest.

"Can we stay a little longer here?" She asked and I nodded.

I looked back at the sky and frowned. The same feeling has not left me and it remained in me. Stroking her beautiful soft hair, I closed my eyes. At least I can take advantage of the time being here with her.

A/N: Yeah while I was writing this, I started crying because I thought the movie was really sad. These are just my views after watching Spider Man 3. I saw it the first night it came out and then started writing this story. I forgot to finish it after that night and came back to it. Just my thoughts on how Peter felt after Harry's death and that he questions his own life.