Every Man has a Kelly
Summary: "Every man has a Kelly." That is the epic advice that Michael Scott relayed to his new boss, Ryan Howard in attempt to be helpful, despite the fact Ryan wanted to talk about business strategy. It sounded like drivel to him at first, but slowly, he begins to see it made more sense than even Michael understood. [[KRyan, with hints of Dwanglea and implied Jam
Type: Romance/Angst…/ I will ATTEMPT Comedy, though I'm not a funny lady.
Disclaimer: I don't own this show, or any of the characters. Wish I owned Steve Carrell though. I asked for him and Will Farrell for Christmas!
Author's Note: First Office fic! Please review, but be kind. Next chapters will not be this long, I promise! Sorry if you're not a Kelly/Ryan fan. I loved 'em!
Chapter 1
It's like rain on you're wedding day...
[Camera focuses on still shot of Ryan, who is dressed in a sharp suit, very suave looking. He's standing in front of Michael's glass. Michael can be seen behind the glass staring. It is unreadable as to whether it a passionate stare, or an envious one.
"Yeah, I'm the new corporate manager of Dunder-Mifflin. Never thought I'd get it, but all my professors at business school told me it would be a good move. No one was as shocked as me. Well maybe.." Ryan clears his throat, and motions backwards with his eyes. Michael doesn't notice. " Oh Kelly. Yeah, she was shocked too. But, we're not exactly together anymore…I broke up with her, finally. Like two minutes after getting the job. Less than that technically. Just figured, you know it would be bad for the image. Plus, a guy can only watch Say Anything a couple dozen times before going crazy anyways."
[CUTS to normal Scranton Office scene
"Michael, could we talk in your office for a bit?" Ryan said, and without waiting for his ex-boss's agreement, he went in and seated his self.
Michael rolled his eyes from his hunched over position at the reception counter where he'd stood shooting the breeze with Jim and Pam. "Boss man's a callin', better not keep him waiting. Don't want him to dump me."
With his usual accuracy, Michael had gotten those words out as soon as Kelly was taking her coat off at the rack next to the door. She scurried off back to her corner as quickly as possible, and Pam and Jim exchanged sympathetic looks.
"I liked him better when he was a temp," Jim muttered truthfully.
Pam looked scornful as she watched Michael enter his office and close the door behind him. "I never liked him at all."
"Sorry it took me so long Chief. You're little exotic fling was taking up the whole atrium with her sulky little self." Michael said. What a way he had with making every situation awkward.
Ryan tried his best to look unaffected. "Uhm. First of all, I've asked you like a hundred times not to call me Chief. My name is Ryan, you can call me that. I mean, you called Jan, Jan." Michael held up a finger.
"You mean my girlfriend Jan? The one whose job you're delightfully enjoying? I called her Jan because she earned it. You've earned Chief."
Ryan looks dumbfounded by Michael's idiotic honesty as usual. He tried to shake it off though. He was the boss now. "And, addressing you're second comment. Kelly was my girlfriend. She wasn't a fling. Far from it."
That was true. When someone was just a fling, you weren't required to put up with all the stuff he had put up with from Kelly. The constant primping. She was never, ever ready for a date on time. The present a week he was required to buy her, just so she knew he still liked her. Her fetish with romance movies of every genre. (John Cusack and Keanu Reeves could not act, and no, he would never agree they were adorable) The collection of stuffed animals that he constantly had to make additions to. The fact she called him every night to outline a day he'd already been a part of. The eskimo kisses she preferred to give in public. The way she 'accidentally' used they're secret nicknames in front of all of his friends. The way Toby, Pam, and pretty much everyone else in the office would just seem to know every little detail about his entire life. In a nutshell, Kelly was exactly like the girl in 'How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days', when she was trying to lose the guy. Oh God. He shouldn't be able to make comparisons to a movie like that.
" Oh. Sore subject huh? You know Ryan, I might be just one of your lowly subjects, but if you ever want a heart to heart, I want you to know, I'm always up to rap. I'm a hip guy. I've experienced the ups and downs of that wicked dragon lady…the one you and I call love."
"Uhh…I don't know what to say. Thanks, maybe? But, I'm not here to talk about you, or me, or dragon ladies called desire or whatever, I'm here to talk about new business strategies. Particularly a new charity event. Now corporate liked the publicity of Casino Night, and they want to sponsor another charity event. Possibly something more formal this time, like a gala or something? Maybe you could get a committee together, work out all the details."
Michael was busy playing with his new Rubix cube Jan had bought for his desk. They'd gone and saw Pursuit of Happyness together, and he now idolized Will Smith. Not the character, the actor. He was convinced when he was able to complete the cube, he would be on the same level with his idol. He became vaguely aware of the fact that he was expected to offer a reply, and just went. "Yeah, sounds killer. I'm jiggy with it." Killer was his new word. The 'jiggy' could of course be attributed to the fact he had learned that Will Smith was an accomplished singer as well.
Pretty certain that this was the best he was going to get out of Michael for now, Ryan just decided to leave some of the notes he'd came up with for the event, and come back later. Or if possible, send an associate. "Okay. Good talk then. I'm going to run it by everyone else in the conference room real quick, so all of you can get a big group 'think-tank' going on, and then I'll head back to New York."
Michael coughed something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like 'glory hog', but Ryan just head over to the conference room in spite of it. He was about to come out and call everyone in, when Michael's voice over took his.
"Dunder-Mifflin family, I would like to ask that you please join me in the conference room. I ask you, because unlike some bosses, I enjoy you coming of you're own free will"
"So it's not mandatory?" Stanley said, looking up haphazardly from a large stack of papers.
"No, it's not 'mandatory' Stanley, it's just something you have to do." Michael said matter of factly.
A collective groan overtook most, except for Dwight who rushed to Michael's side, should he need any assistance.
Once they were all seated inside, Ryan nervously coughed as he scanned the small room of his former co-workers. Phyllis was a glow. She was always a glow these days. Angela was staring at Dwight with what one might take as disgust, but Ryan was now privy to understanding it was smoldering desire. (Something he actually wished he didn't know) Dwight was all business. Ryan could just see in his eyes the need to challenge an authority he hadn't even set down yet. Pam and Jim were talking. Typical. Stanley looked the same. Creed looked shifty, and was holding a Rubix cube. Meredith looked surprisingly sober and alert. Weird. Kevin was snickering at God knows what. And Toby was talking and smiling…to Kelly.
Kelly looked maybe half the percentage of pure effervescence she usually did. As much as he tried not to, as the rest had filed in, she was the face he had centered on the most. He of course tactfully looked away anytime she turned her eyes forward. Toby seemed to be keeping her busy, and for a few seconds, he deeply wanted to know what they were talking about. What was Toby saying to bring out that free yet gentle laugh of hers? It wasn't hard. She found lots of things funny. Still, it troubled him more than it should. He had just decided to forget about it, when he noticed how pretty she looked today. Her hair was swept into a simple up-do, and she was wearing a simple peach blouse and black skirt with her favorite pumps. He remembered they were her favorites. Not long ago, he'd tripped over them on the way out of her bed one morning.
Awaking in a sea of lavender colored flannel, as he was now accustomed to, Ryan rose up and rubbed his eyes vigorously. He heard the alarm clock going off, playing the chorus of 'You're The One That I Want', or one of those Grease songs. He reached over the sleeping body next to him and clicked it off. Before he could pull is arm back though, it was seized and he was pulled into a warm embrace from the girl whom he thought had been sleeping soundly.
"I tricked you didn't I?" She smiled sweetly at him, and laughed earnestly.
"Yeah, you got me good" Ryan agreed congenially as he planted several soft kisses on her neck, not daring to let himself become aware of the fact that this was his girlfriend's idea of a brilliantly hilarious joke. That would just make him sad.
"I've been awake for like hours. You look really cute when you sleep. You mumble sometimes."
Ryan grimaced. He didn't like the thoughts of Kelly being privy to things he said that even he wouldn't remember. He tried to play down the 'weirded out' factor though, and kissed her softly on the lips hoping to make her forget anything he said. He didn't want to be more fuel for her diary than he already was.
In the mornings, he usually hated to be around Kelly. He wasn't a morning person at all, and she so was. Most times, she would wake him up by blaring her radio, as she got ready for work, or by tickling him. He was extremely ticklish. Thanks to her, everyone now knew that.
Today though, she didn't seem as annoying as usual. Giving her one last kiss, he slid over he, dodging her fingers, which were going immediately for his bare collarbone. A sensitive spot. He'd thought too soon.
As soon as his feet hit the floor, and he took one step, he hit the floor as well. And you would have thought somebody had shot him. He actually believed Kelly might have been crying as she scurried down to his side, and immediately started trying to 'console' him.
"Kelly, I'm okay. Seriously. Just give me some breathing room"
"Oh, my poor brave baby" She continued to coo in his ear. Then she shrieked, and Ryan was pretty sure that hurt his ears far more than the fall had hurt his leg. "You're bleeding baby"
Ryan looked down to examine his ankle, and he was in fact starting to drip blood from a small snag in the skin. Before he could blink, Kelly had pulled tissues from her night stand was patting at the blood.
"I'm sorry, it's all my fault" She sniffed, and kissed the now dried cut.
"Don't be silly. I fell. I was clumsy, and it's my own fault. Not yours" He said logically, and pulled himself up to a sting position.
"No, you fell over my favorite pumps. The ones I was wearing last night. We were undressing so fast that I didn't have time to you know, put them away." She held one of the slinky black shoes up in front of him and he quickly wondered how his leg had need stitches. The heel on that thing could have easily been considered a weapon of mass destruction. "Gosh. I hope you didn't bleed on it, that would be so not sexy."
"Gee, thanks" Ryan said sort of sourly as he began to stand.
Kelly quickly abandoned her shoes. "I'm sorry honey." She said sweetly and draped her arms around his neck pulling him back down. "I care way more about you than those silly shoes. I mean, they were super expensive, but I can always earn more money. I only got one Ryan-oceros."
Ah. He never got enough of that nickname. Nothing else could make you feel like a twenty-six year old man more than hearing your named morphed into an animal name.
As much as he hated the name though, as she nuzzled her nose into his neck, something told him he didn't exactly hate being coddled by her. She cared. Maybe too much, but how could you not like someone actually genuinely caring about you?
"You know, my lips really hurt too." He had breathed after a moment or two.
He stared into those big brown eyes again presently, but they weren't the same as they had been on that morning. So full of adoration, and sweetness. They were still just as pretty and pure looking as ever, but now they seemed a bit listless, sort of unsure. When he noticed they were actually looking dead on at each other, he offered an embarrassed, but polite smile. She didn't return it, but rather pretended their eyes had never met, and adjusted her shirt. She turned to say something to Toby, but just as she opened her mouth to talk, Ryan cut off the conversation (not exactly on purpose) and began what he'd came to say.
"Okay. I know it's weird for me to be up here, but I do have Jan's job now, and as awkward as it, I got to keep this branch afloat. I want to same things all of you want. Today I just w—Yes Dwight?"
Quietly, Dwight had raised his hand and had held at position, until Ryan could ignore it no longer.
" I just wanted to know if you had included in you're application for this job that you almost single handedly burned down this entire building."
" Uh, no. I didn't feel it was relevant at the time. Thanks for you're concern on my paperwork being so through."
"I'll be sure to give the corporate offices a call. I'm sure they need all your records accurate." He smiled maliciously.
"Already tried that" Michael muttered in a singsong voice to Dwight.
Ryan just completely ignored they're exchange and continued.
"Listen. Corporate wants another sponsored charity event, so I thought that maybe a few of you could head that up, and put together some sort of gala, or ball for Scranton with like a cover charge, and all that other jazz."
Everyone immediately started chatting, and Ryan breathed a sigh of relief. Everyone seemed to be game on this. "Good, now, just get a committee together, and I'll be back down later this week to talk about plans with them."
Taking his briefcase, and ignoring the daggers he was getting form Dwight, and a few others, he made for the exit. All of the remaining employees spilled out behind him, and began to file back to they're spots. It wasn't until he was out the front door downstairs that he realized someone was following him. He turned on his heels, and saw Kelly standing there in the doorway.
"Hey" She said came forward, but only a few steps.
"Uh, Hi." He said, and moved in a few steps. "How're you?"
" I'm good" Her answer was sort of deadpan, and toneless. A bit rehearsed.
They both started to speak at once, but she managed to over talk him. Some things never change.
"Listen, I don't have long to talk, I have a job too. Plus, talking to you makes me want to eat cookie dough and watch Oprah, and I really need to watch my weight. I just wanted you to know that I'm proud of you. I didn't have a chance to say it before, obviously, but I just thought you should know that I am. Getting this job is going to open up a lot of doors for you, and I hope it's all you hoped it would be"
"Thanks. That means a lot. You know, other than my Mom, not many people have been that psyched about it. I mean, everybody here hates me now, and a lot of my friends don't even have jobs, and, well you know all of them." He said, awkwardly smile and gripping his briefcase.
Kelly nodded. She had not come out here to make small talk. She hadn't forgiven him for breaking her heart with five words. She just need him to know that before she made her vow to never speak to him again, or at least not all friendly like.
"Well, I better get back up there. Michael's probably somewhere setting you're picture on fire, and I'll have to clean it up." Without another word, she darted back inside.
Ryan's head fell. "I'm sorry." He muttered to nobody. And for the first time, he felt like the sweetest noise he could possibly hear would be her jabbering on, and on, and on.