Word Count: 1,950

A/N: Thank you very much for coming to read my first chapter story, I really excited about it and hope that you enjoy this as I've tried my best to write at a level that can be appreciated by all of you.

I hope that throughout the course of this story that you'll get an insight to Kakashi (and ninja in general) that you have never read about or even thought about before. I hope that I can make all of you think and relate and take something away from this. Writing is my passion and I hope that you'll enjoy what I'm sharing with you. Thank you again.

(Edit: 3/31/08- Chapter partially rewritten.)

(Disclaimer: Any identifiable character belongs to Kishimoto and no infringement is intended and nothing monetary is being gained by the writing of this fanfiction. Any character that is not recognizeable and that is not disclaimed in any of my author's notes was created by me, BeautifulSilverSilence.

Hatake Kakashi is not by any means a normal shinobi.

Kakashi realizes this as he wakes up in his bachelor's apartment -- lonely and wanting -- the rare time he's not assigned another high rank mission. He knows this as he slowly rolls himself out of the bed (built for one) and places his feet in the carpeted floor, sharpened (and almost animalistic) instincts immediately roving the room. And Kakashi understands it as he stands up gingerly, stretching his arms above his head, popping every joint out of habit.

It's in the back of his mind as he shuffles his way into the adjoining bathroom, stuffing his feet into a pair of old dog-bitten slippers along the way, shivering slightly as body (clad only in an old t-shirt and boxers) adjusts to the cool air in the apartment. Kakashi sighly quietly as he takes his toothbrush from the cup by the side of the sink, squeezing a spot of toothpaste onto it and glancing at the large mirror built into the wall above the faucet.

Kakashi looks for a moment longer than he thinks he should have before turning his back to the mirror, pulling down his mask and begining to brush.

(Days like these hold no room for memories.)

Everything from this point on is thankfully automatic: Kakashi showers, dresses, forgets to eat, and pointedly ignores Gai on his way out the door.

Walking outside he can feel the stares of awed children and shinobi alike (can taste the tangible excitment in the muggy air), and barely notices the glares of indignant mothers as he buries his nose in the First Edition Icha Icha Paradise book (that he's never actually read).

(Perverts garner no pity.)

Though not inherently paying attention to his surroundings (and looking for all the world bored to death), Kakashi weaves through the crowd effortlessly--ducking projectiles and side-stepping happy little children--and finds himself standing in his usual spot in front of the Memorial stone.

Slipping his book into his worn belt pouch, Kakashi kneels and begins to talk.

Kakashi tells Obito about Gai's latest challenge, chuckling softly at some bits, and scowling playfully underneath his mask as he begrudgingly tells Obito the current score (50 to 49 -- Kakashi's still losing, but he refuses to accept that painting pictures of Konoha with your toes is an actual challenge).

Kakashi tells Obito about what Yuura and Yuki did in the latest chapter of Icha Icha Violence (which he has read several times over), tapping the hitai-ate over his Sharingan eye when it begins to itch. Obito was such a damn pervert!

Kakashi tells Obito about a prank Naruto pulled (that reminded him of Obito in every way), and about Sasuke's defection. Kakashi tries his hand at making a half-assed apology for being late (Obito was always better at that than he was). It wasn't like it was his fault anyway, on the way there he was attacked by enemy ninja who wanted his special edition Icha Icha Paradise book, and then after he defeated them he had to help a poor old lady retrieve her cat from the top Hokage monument, so really...it was out of his hands.

Obito forgives him (like he always did).

Kakashi shifts his gaze to stare at another name on the stone (knees aching and ankles tingling from lack of blood). He talks to Yondaime and tells him how strong Naruto is becoming, and how Jiraiya-sama is training him (the two were so much alike), and how just determined he is to become Hokage. Tells him how he was wrong, that no, his mask would not eventually permanently attach itself to his face if he wore it often enough (but he did take it off when Minato asked him again, lips blue and blood dribbling down his chin).

Kakashi tells Yondaime -- "Sensei." -- how he really feels in hushed whispers and meaningful glances.

He knows Sensei understands.

(Afterwards, Kakashi has an urge for miso ramen.)

When Kakashi finally leaves (hours after he first arrived), he is far too early for his important meeting with the Hokage and quite possibly a new mission. (He'd just come back from his fourth S-class mission in as many weeks.) Fortunately, they haven't really been that difficult lately and he's completed them all easily, Kakashi thinks that it's his imagination that there's more blood than usual after he's finished with his targets.

It's worth a good laugh really, when he can hear the whispers of jealous shinobi who aren't quick enough to get the high class (high paying) missions before Kakashi snaps them up. Hilarious actually, so much so that Kakashi is thinking that he wants to become active ANBU again, the Hound Mask tacked onto the ceiling above his bed eerie and beckoning.

But, true to Kakashi's nature, instead of heading to Tsunade-sama's office like he should have, he finds himself heading over to the academy, and he bumps into Genma along the way. Genma looks at him oddly, smirking in that infuriating all-knowing way of his. And, to Genma's credit, it works for a few seconds. (What exactly does Genma know?)

But duplicity has always been his strong point, so he waves -- "Yo, Genma" -- and continues on his way.

Genma looks at him dubiously and waves back.

"What's up, Kakashi-kun."

One Thousand Years of Pain had never sounded like a better idea to Kakashi.

Genma (possibly knowing how Kakashi felt more than Kakashi himself did) says nothing else, only chuckles and tosses his senbon up in the air, flipping it twice before catching it between his teeth.

Kakashi next walks by the academy, intending on "visiting" Iruka-sensei and --maybe, sort of, not really--embarrass him in front of his students (the ankle-biters). He walks into the school grounds, stopping by the lonely swing that creaks softly -- eerily -- in the soft breeze.

No longer having to hold a false pretense, Kakashi puts his book down.

On a whim, Kakashi gently nudges his hitai-ate upwards, just enough so the blood-red windmill would be visible, revealing a patch of skin that should have been pale white. (Kakashi had been killing with his Sharigan lately, and Obito does not approve.)

Yet, even without the Sharingan, Kakashi can still see.

Kakashi can see himself graduating at the tender young age of five, unmasked and small, smiling and happy in every sense of the word. Kakashi can see his first kill that very same year. It was bloody and messy, Kakashi had hit a main artery in the rock nin's thigh (because that was as high as he could reach) and he had bled out. Kakashi cleaned his tanto throughly afterwards, and his father had been proud.

Kakashi became a chuunin the very next year. He was older, slightly wiser, and slightly taller--by now he could reach his tanto up to the hip of a full grown man-- but still small for a Chuunin, and his face visible was to the world. Life was hard, he thinks, but he was proud, his father was proud. He never thought his father was a traitor.

Not until a few years later (but he still loved him), not until after he found his father in their living room lying on his back in a warm pool of his own blood. His prized tanto thrust into his midriff, wide open eyes already starting to sink back into his head, and on his lap a cooling mess of innards.. Kakashi's father was never a traitor until he committed seppuku.

It was then that Kakashi started wearing a mask.

Afterwards, Kakashi calmly pushes his hitai-ate back down, slouching marvelously, and forms a seal with his hands before 'popping' into Iruka-sensei's classroom.

Iruka-sensei is shocked and flustered as always (but even he looks like he knows more than he should), cheeks tinted pink as he glares:"Kakashi-sensei!".

The children (brats) are delighted as always, never disappointed with an appearance by the famous Copy Ninja.

Just for show, he creates a Kage Bunshin, and then 'Henges' into Iruka-sensei. The children (knee gnawers) laugh uproariously and Iruka-sensei reprimands him, though amusement can be clearly seen in his deep brown eyes.

Kakashi 'pops' away in the next instant and tries to remember a time where he was so young and happy and carefree.

(Kakashi can't.)

And so, in the next instance, Kakashi heads to the Hokage's office (a decent half an hour late), appearing with great flourish, leftover leaves from his jutsu swirling about him dramatically. Kakashi did this knowing full well that Tsunade hated it when he left dirt and debris in her office, but, for all the times she sent him on back-to-back missions, a vindictive part of him thought she deserved it (another kinder, more childish part of him just thought it was damn funny that she got so mad over it).

Ten minutes of apologies, exaggerated bows and solemn nods later, Kakashi finally gets out of the Hokage's office, eye curving into a smile as he briefly watches the look on her face as he disappears, a trail of leaves in his wake.

All fun and teasing the Hokage aside, Kakashi was a little put-out that he was roped into becoming Tsunade's temporary courier--though if he thought about it, he hadn't seen Asuma in a while, so it wouldn't really hurt to stop by with his package. But that wasn't the point, it was the principle of the idea. He was the Copy Ninja, not some paper-pushing, errand running Chuunin.

(Kakashi was vaguely certain that Tsunade-hime failed to receive the memo.)

Begrudgingly Kakashi starts to walk back to the jounin apartment complex, nose buried in his porn, his one blue-grey eye unseeing.

When he finally gets to the complex, only a ten minute walk away from the Hokage's office (no doubt this was Sandaime's idea, he had to admit it was more efficient for those 3 a.m. mission summons, privacy be damned), he automatically bypasses Asuma's apartment on the first floor. Instead starting up the stairs to the fourth floor--Kurenai's apartment--where he's sure Asuma will be.

Arriving at his destination, Kakashi raps lazily on the door, settling into his trademark slouch and returning Icha Icha to his belt pouch. Kurenai answers not more a minute later, hair disheveled (it looked like she had tried to tame the wild curls with her fingers) and looking thoroughly debauched, crimson lipstick lightly smeared onto her cheek and her lips swollen red.

Kakashi gives her a smirk that couldn't be missed even underneath his mask and tells her that he had a package for Asuma from the Hokage. He waits patiently in the doorway and Kurenai goes to get him, wondering how oblivious they must be to think that they could keep anything a secret from a village full of ninja and compulsive gossips.

Soon enough Asuma comes to the door --Kakashi pretends not to hear the muted scream-giggle and the inevitable slap-- a rueful yet content look on his face, a freshly lit cigarette in his mouth.

Kakashi greets him -- putting up a gloved hand and smirking in a knowing way -- and hands him the package, curious as to its contents but not tactless enough to ask.

Without any further ado, Kakashi poofs home, only a single leaf a testament to his presence.