COTK: This is my second one shot!! WOOT!!! About Deidara and Hidan. But any way. Rating is for what may occur.. And of corse.. Since its Hidan we are talking about... The language...

"Cheezy, fucking corn dogs. Like they are better! Not a fucking chance! They win this battle. Stupid mother fuckers!!!"

Hidan walked into his room. Like he normally did when he got home from a mission. But today was different... Today, Deidara was there.

Normally, Deidara was off somewhere else in the hideout, scultping clay, yelling at Tobi, or just doing other things. But today, he was sitting on Hidan's bed, legs crossed, hands at his sides, cloak off and disgaurded off to the side, shirtless, hair down, and hitai-ate on the floor. Clay was covering almost every detail of his chest, face, arms and in his hair.

Hidan stepped back and out of the room, checking to see if he was in the right room. Noting that he was infact in his, he looked back at the shirtless blue-eyed marvel that was sitting on his bed staring at him with a curious look on his face.

"Why are you in my room Deidara?" Hidan asked, setting his sythe down on the floor, up against the wall.

"Waiting for you, dumbass, un..." Deidara spoke clearly, but Hidan needed it repeated. For obvious reasons.

"What?! What the fuck did you say!?" Deidara smirked.

"I said I was waiting for you, un..." The blonde-head had repeated smoothly, cooly as though he didn't add any insult in the first place. But the teasing grin that played with his lips said otherwise.

"I heard that part. What the fuck did you call me!?"

"A dumbass... Dumbass... Un." Deidara said moving his hair behind his shoulder.

Hidan narrowed his light hued eyes at the blonde. Deidara just insulted him. For no apparent reason.

Deidara stood up suddenly, walking up to Hidan with an odd gleam in his beautiful blue eyes. Stepping up to stand directally infront of Hidan, Deidara smiled a sweet smile as innocently as an S-class criminal missing-nin from Iwa could possibly muster. Hidan stepped back, in an attempt that was only in vain as Deidara grabbed one of his arms and pulled him closer to him.

Luckily for them, the door was closed, but Hidan was confused. He never seen the blonde act this way before.

But he, shockingly, liked it none the less.

Since Deidara was shorter than Hidan, Deidara stood up on tip-toes to plant a soft kiss on his comrades lips.

Hidan wasn't so keen on regretting the bird-boy's company now. He returned the kiss, while Deidara unnoticably pulled both of them back to Hidans bed.

Deidara clumsily lost his footing and tripped over his hitai-ate he conveniantly threw on the ground earlier. They both fell into an also conveniant possition. The bottom half of their bodies off the bed, Hidan on top of Deidara, Deidara's back curving slightly under the weight of Hidan, but was grateful for the soft mattress.

"Ugh," groaned Deidara, "How troublesome, un."

Hidan had pushed himself up just a little bit so he could stand of flat-foot, but still be hovering over the other. He removed his cloak with an experience that made a world of people wonder where it came from. But of course he was just taking off his cloak, so it wasnt that great. Deidara's smile returned when his eyes glanced over Hidan's bear chested figure standing over him. He, Deidara, moved a little so it wasn't quite uncomfortable for him. So now he was laying completely on his back, Hidan still standing over him, the gleam in his own eyes making its appearence.

Deidara sat up, propping himself up on one elbow, reached out to grab the hem of Hidan's pants, to pull him forward again. Hidan placed his legs on either side of Deidara's legs. Deidara smiled when Hidan pushed him down to a laying possition, moving his bangs out of his face.

Deidara brought a hand up to remove the scope on his left eye, and also tossing it on the floor.

"Why do you cover your eye with that thing?" Hidan scoffed, "It's a fucking nuiscance." The smile left the other's face for a moment, replaced by some seriousness that long left the room when Deidara first entered it earlier.

"I swear some day that I'm going to kill Itachi for making me join this stupid organization," he answered, "I'm training my eye to go against the Sharingan. And then, after Itachi, I'm going to take down Leader who first signed me up for Akatsuki."

"Am I on your hit list?" Hidan smirked at the thought, coming down on the bed, straddling his hips and picking some of the dry clay off the younger's chest.

Deidara shuddered at the touch; he'd been sitting in Hidan's room for about an hour or more without his cloak on, not knowing when he'd come in, and Deidara had been getting cold, and Hidan's fingers tingled warmly on his chilled skin. He grasped the wrist that was attached to the said fingers gently, not to stop them, no, but in what seemed in an encouraging motion to tell him not to quit.

"No," he replied, a hint of shakiness in his voice, "I couldn't kill you even if I wanted to, un. You're immortal, un."

Hidan considered that for a moment, then looked down opposingly at him, "You could be, too, you know, if you only followed in under Jashin-dono's guide." He collected some more of the white mineral material under his fingernails after scrapping along side of the boy's nipple subconcsiously. Deidara gasped under him, making a srunched face full of pleasure.

"You should know that I'm agnostic," he breathed in response, "I neither deny or doubt anything until full proof, dumbass."

At the name calling, Hidan grinded against him unexpectedly, making Deidara cry out. The Pagan groaned at his own doing and the other's erotic sound.

Deidara slowly ragained some of his earlier composure, sitting up again to breifly make contact with Hidan's lips and his own. Hidan on the other hand, pushed Deidara back down on the bed. Leaning down to lick Deidara's neck, sending chills down the stone nins back as he did. Deidara placed one hand on Hidan's chest, letting the palm lick and nip at the warm flesh in its wake. Hidan closed his eyes and let out a small sigh.

"I told you not to call me that," Hidan growled at his ear, though coming out as more of a purr than anything else, "You're the one who started this damn conversation."

"Actually," the younger all but chimed, a quick tremor running through his skin at the heat from his breath filled his senses, "you did when you were complaining about the camera always over my eye. I guess you really are a dumbass, aren't you?"

Hidan grimaced and grounded his hips again into the other's, earning a loud moan of his name from Deidara.

A whole new wave of pleasure swept over Hidan, never hearing his name used in such a tone before. It was shocking to first hear it come from Deidara's own mouth, but he had come to like it in a hurry; it was addicting, like a troublesome drug.

"Say it again." He commanded, lips clasping ahold of the shell of the other's ear, sucking and nipping at the lobe.

Deidara, who was oblivious to the fact that he had said anything at all, only mewled in reasponse, intoxicated by actions.

"S-say...what?" Deidara whispered, arms coming over Hidan's back in attempt to hold him closer than he already was. His leg wrapped around his waist, trying to make the sensation come over him again, "Dumbass, un?"

The blonde got his wish, as Hidan thrusted even harder then the last, but it wasn't as thrilling for him as Deidara took it; he did it more out of spite.

"My name, you fucking twit! My name!"

Deidara tried to regain his breath, turning his head in a failed mission to look at Hidan squarely.

"I said your name?"

"No, you fucking idiot, you mooed!" Hidan rolled his eyes, "Yes! You didn't just say it, you moaned it."

"I'm not the idiot, dumbass, un," he chided. Deidara wasn't exactly pleased on how well things were going along; first of all, he wanted to be on top, second thing was that it was kind of a turn off when you were trying to enjoy something, but someone was insulting you. But of what Hidan told him made blush enter his face, making it redder than before.

The pagan gave a slow, long grind, and was finally given the award he wanted.

"Oh god, Hidaan..."

Finally, Hidan thought as he gave another slowly plainful motion.

Deidara bucked up against Hidan as Hidan continued his grinding. Hidan grunted a low growl like grunt, that took Deidara off his guard, as he slowly reached down with one hand to unbuttoned his pants quickly. Deidara's gaze fell downward as he felt the motion above the increasingly hardening bulge in his own. He closed his eyes as Hidan's hand rubbed up against him slowly.

Hidan lifted himself up onto his hands and knees slowly, mouth not leaving Deidara's ear lobe, pulling down his pants as he suckedand bit on Deidara's ear.

Deidara opened his eyes as he felt Hidan moved to get the article of clothing off his legs. He let his gaze fall down again to Hidan's length, his eyes went wide at the sight.

Hidan smirked at Deidara's pause.

"Y-you sure I can't-?" Deidara started, but was cut off by Hidan's low growl of a responce.

"No... You are on bottom..." Hidan said cooly, rubbing Deidara with his hand and length. Making Deidara harder.

"Fine, un..." Deidara pouted.

Hidan sat up all of a sudden, roughly pulling down Deidara's pants down past his knees. He threw the material onto the floor along with the other things that had been thrown there earlier. Hidan than leaned down, hovering over the blonde boy, his breath hot on his lower stomach. (HERE!)

Deidara's breathing got harder as Hidan got lower on him. Hidan paused before he wrapped both hands around Deidara's length, He lowered his head and licked the head. Deidara reluctantly put both hands on the back of Hidan's head, closing his eyes tightly, his head going back slightly.

Hidan noted this as a method of aproval and put the head in his mouth. Having to hold Deidara's hips down to prevent him from bucking. Hidan quickly started sucking on the now hard member in his mouth. Deidara lightly pulled on Hidan's hair while letting out a pleasured scream.

Hidan brought his head up, and then back down again, still sucking. Deidara sucessfully managed to buck up once as Hidan was bringing his head back down, causing him to gag in the process.

Before Deidara released into Hidan's mouth, Hidan pulled the length out of his mouth and crawled back up to Deidara's flushed face, with a smirk on his own.

Deidara smirked, moving his legs out from under Hidan, spreading them and holding him up to his chest wrapping his arms underneath his knees.

Hidan smirked, sitting up a little, lifting Deidara's hips and pulling his lower half closer to him. He positioned himself, almost thrusting inside the blonde, but remembered some method of lubrication.

"Shit... Almost forgot..." He muttered. Reaching beside the bed, he opened the drawer to the side table and pulled out a bottle of lube.

"How conveniant..." Deidara smirked, although he still wasn't happy he was on bottom. Hidan gave him a look.

"Shut it." Hidan hissed, as he coated himself generously. Repositioning himself at Deidara's interance, he didnt wait for any more things to come up and thrusted inside him. Deidara closed his eyes tightly as he supressed the scream that fought to release itself. Hidan wrapped a hand around Deidara's length, pumping him to try and calm him down. He closed his eyes, tilting his head back and let out a quiet moan.

Deidara let go of his leg, letting them fall to rest on Hidans hips, Hidan waiting until he was sure Deidara was ready to continue, still pumping Deidara to relieve at least a little of the pain.

Hidan looked back to Deidara, who had at least opened his eyes, and waited for the signal.

Once Deidara shook his head, Hidan pulled out slowly, then pushed back in, Deidara grunting in responce.

"Gawd, Deidara... How... Long has it... Been?..." Hidan said slowly, closing his eyes.

"A-a while..."

Hidan grunted roughly, "You're so troublesome!"

"And you're a dumbass, un!"

The elder got annoyed quickly, and thrusted his hand around the member violently and hurriedly, Deidara crying out in heated pleasure.

"Hidan! Oh, god - God! Hidan!" Deidara was at the peak, but all of a sudden, Hidan stopped. He pulled out of him and took back his hands, leaving the distressed boy even more distressed, if not hot and bothered.

Hidan sat at the edge of the bed, back to the other. Jashin, he could make the insignificant little man go away, no matter how horny he was at the moment, he'd probably give up a hand.

And back on the bed, Deidara struggled with the heat Hidan abandon him with. Either he could go to Hidan now, straddle an appoligy and some how make it better, or he could finish himself, because appologizing to Hidan was two things. One, he was admitting he was wrong, and two, that would mean having to waddle around the bed painfully, looking pretty stupid.

Deidara gave up on the second idea without thinking twice about it. He sat up slightly, wrapping his hand around himself and started pumping furiously. Propped up by one arm, he threw his head back and let out a hollow moan.

Hidan, of corse hearing this, turned to face the blonde and his maturbating. He watched for a while, Deidara not noticing. He let a silent sigh escape him as he smiled. Hidan climbed back ontop Deidara, stopping the boys hand from finishing its work. Deidara's eyes shot open as he was pushed back down onto the bed, and Hidan positioning himself and thrusting inside of him again. Of corse this caught Deidara by suprise, he let go of himself as Hidan started thrusting in and out again.

Hidan's hand started pumping the swollen erect member slowly, clearly teasing the younger nin.

"Uh - Hidan! Please!"

"Nope," said Hidan as he gave a painful tug on the length, "This is for calling me a fucking dumbass when I told you not to!"

Hidan slowly began speeding up his thrusts, after finding Deidara's prostate, the blonde closed his eyes, moaned, and arched his back, but the pumping was still slow and teasing.

"So... Fucking tight... Damn it..." Hidan muttered under his breath as Deidara bucked his hips closer to him, he let go of Deidara's length and held onto his hips hard. Hidan fell forward on to Deidara, biting his right shoulder enough to make it raw, as he finally came with a rugged groan. Again, slowly, but tugging more feircly, the pagan, wrapped his hands once more around the clay user's length. After a couple pumps, Deidara moaned out the other's name, just like the first time he had done so, and cumed into his hand.

Hidan waited a couple of minutes before pulling out of his comrad, but he did it in a slow motion, as he wiped his hand off on one of the sheets under them. He layed on top of Deidara for another moment before rolling off the teen, who was breathing as hard as him.

"You're...so, troublesome..." Hidan gasped.

"Yeah... And, so are...you, you...troublesome dumbass, un."

Hidan whisked his head at him.

"Why are you still in my fucking room?"

COTK: YAY! Thats it... Me and the Nichi author have better things to do now, than waste our time with these two... Toodles! Maybe we can make a sequal or something... Though I dont think you should count on it...