Author's Note: I 'll let you know now that this story is tragic. No happy trails, only the memories left for the one that is left behind. As is with all loss. The story may seem unrealistic, but the names that come out ((dear old Severus and Hermione, once again)) seemed to fit. I like this pairing quite a lot, and I hope this story doesn't confuse you...I wrote it in a strange way but it came out like this and seemed alright..if there are any longstanding problems feel free to let me know. As much as I despise reading flamers that have nothing better to do with their time than yell at other people for trying to express themselves, feel free to let me know how you feel. Just know that regardless of what reviews I get, my passion for this story will remain the same.
Summary: Whether he knew it or not, Severus had sealed his wife's fate the moment the Dark Lord got that one word out of him. Hermione had no chance at all, only because she'd married a Death Eater, and only because she was a Muggleborn, more well known as a Mudblood to those that were against her. How they'd managed to keep their relationship, and later their marriage, a complete secret is unsure. But the one night Severus wore his wedding ring to that meeting two years ago, he'd begun his life lesson. Love is as abundant as hate, and chocolate is never the same for anyone.
His face lay buried in his hands.
His eyes were soaked with tears.
The picture he'd dropped fell to the floor.
His sobs were uncontrollable.
He couldn't get rid of his pain.
"I don't know what's real anymore," he whispered, pulling his face from his hands, gazing tearfully at the shattered glass that protected the memory behind it. A beaming brunette woman rested her head and her hand on his chest. He was smiling lightly as he held her in his arms, his eyes softly closed with his lips pressed against her hair. His own hair, dark ebony, stayed out of his face, blowing with the wind, as was hers. The mere thought of how happy he'd been before he lost her left him feeling emptier than before.
Being with her had lightened age's impression on him. The lines on his face that were so well defined had disappeared in his time with her, and though they now had returned, she was the reason they'd never be the same. The dark eyes that once held no light now gleamed brightly with either pain or pleasure. At the thought of their wedding, he smiled softly, then at the thought of her premature death, a pained expression took over his face, leaving him sobbing on his bed – what once had been their bed - never sure how long it'd be before he was calm again.
He closed his eyes with a sigh, the image of her, smiling, coming to mind almost instantly. He slowly rose from the chair on which he sat, ignoring a cat's cries for attention. As if he could take care of that cat right now, he could barely handle take care of himself. Resting a hand on the doorframe of the entrance to what had once been their bedroom, he strode to the bed, laying on his back and running a rough hand through his hair. Before he knew it, sleep had overtaken him, and only in his dreams could she return to him.
"Come on, love!" she said excitedly, reaching for his hand, turning to lead him off once he let her take it. The smile on her face was impossible to miss; she had found something worth showing him.
He chuckled and followed her, his hair blowing out of his face with each gentle gust of wind. He smiled himself, he couldn't help it, with her, delight, wonder, and happiness were contagious.
She was running, and he had to jog to keep up with her, but he still did not let go of her hand. Once she stopped, he stepped to her side and, placing an arm around her waist, he took in the scenery. Not just the sight of it, but the smell, the sound, and even the touch as leaves brushed against his arm. Everything about it was calm and silent, and he knew that she wanted to show him this place for just that reason.
She looked up at him with a soft smile, watching him as he took it all in. Placing her hand in his, she tugged lightly, then once she had him following her once more, she led him over to a clearing, where an empty patch of grass lay, waiting for them to sit there.
One look in her eyes and he knew what she wanted. She laid on her side instantly, propping herself up with one arm. She was waiting for him. He joined her moments later, leaving a light kiss on her forehead. He adjusted slightly, allowing her to lay into him, her head on his chest, her fingertips tracing circles on his abs. One arm slid around her, and he placed his other hand over hers, closing his fingers around hers.
A light sigh escaped her lips at the warmth of his body, and a chill ran through her spine at his touch. Her eyes closed, his lips were pressed to her hand that he held in his. She relaxed into him, letting out a 'mmmm' sound, then whispered, "Severus, I love you." She smiled and relaxed into him even more, laying as closely as she could next to him, another shiver through her entire body as he rubbed her back softly.
He simply smiled and released her hand from his, angling her chin towards him with a smile that was slightly smirk-ish. His usual attempt at a soft smile. He slowly pulled her to him, gazing into her chocolate eyes before closing his own, brushing his lips over hers. His hand had moved to the side of her neck, where it fit best, and the grin he saw on her face after their soft kiss was one he could never get.
For he had said, "I love you." For the first time.
His eyes slowly opened no more than two or three hours later, long enough to be considered a light evening nap. He groaned and glanced out the window, observing that the sun was setting, whereas before he had gone to sleep, it had been sitting contently in the middle point of it's light, not yet setting but no longer in the position it had been at noon. But he had neither the patience nor the desire to observe the activities of the sun anymore. All of his energies involved removing the painful guilt from his life.
Indirectly, he had been responsible for her death.
The last meeting he'd attended had set it all in motion, without Severus being aware of it for a moment.
It had gone well for the first few dragging minutes, time in which the Dark Lord lectured about those that had abandoned, and those that had chosen to die rather than return to his side to serve him. Severus had stood coldly throughout, something he'd learned to do. He'd taught himself to be emotionless. Emotion with the Dark Lord proved dangerous. His eyes rested on his leader, his mouth set firmly. His lips sat tightly pressed together, thin and pale.
His apparent lack of emotion had not, however, prevented the Dark Lord from spotting the wedding ring on his finger. Severus did not try to hide it, he knew better than that, but he wished that the Dark Lord hadn't seen it. He wished he hadn't forgotten to take it off and rest it on the nightstand, but he also remembered that the second his Dark Mark burned, it flamed on his skin, twisting and bringing his life to a halt in the moments before he'd forced himself to Apparate to the graveyard.
Before he could process what was happening, Severus had been forced to his knees by the Cruciatus, pelted with questions all leading to one answer: Hermione. He'd been asked who she was in many different ways, and each one came to that one answer that put the only one that mattered to him in complete danger. In the moment he'd screamed out her name to the Dark Lord himself, he'd sealed her fate.
He was told he had one last night with her before someone would come and kill her.
Hermione was in deathly danger, and it was because Severus was too weak to keep his emotions in control.
He hadn't had a chance to alert the Dark Lord to the child that he and his wife had produced, a prospective Death Eater. But he'd passed out from the intensity of the curse before he could say another word.
Severus winced at the thought, fresh tears of guilt spilling down his cheeks. If she'd been killed in the final battle, fighting strong against the Dark Lord himself, Severus wouldn't know he'd caused her death. But he'd told Voldemort that he'd taken her as his wife, that they'd carried out a relationship right under his nose, and in doing so, he'd gone past the point of no return.
Oh yes, Hermione had put up an epic fight against Lucius Malfoy when he came to call at the house where she'd just put the baby down to sleep. Her Shield Charms had prolonged her survival, as had the one Cruciatus she'd brought herself to cast, sending Lucius to the floor instantly, causing him to writhe intensely on the floor. She'd called for Severus to come and assist her, and oh how he had. A single green flash of light, an ear-shattering scream, and then it was over.
But that was as far as he could possibly remember. All he knew was that he'd lost her, all he knew was that Lucius had eventually died from the injuries he'd sustained. Something about the poison in the tea Severus had given him with a smirk did him in within three days' time. A poison that would kill him slowly, forcing him to suffer until his last heaving, painful breath.
The green flash of light, you see, had flown from the wand of Lucius Malfoy and landed on the chest of Severus Snape's beloved wife. Hermione had no chance to duck, no chance at all to cast a Shield Charm, she only screamed before the curse hit her and then fell to the floor. She was dead.
Bringing Severus to the tears he had shed only hours ago.
A chill ran down his spine, and without really giving it a thought, he glanced towards the doorway. A silvery wisp of light glimmered in the corner of the doorframe, and it slowly expanded until it took on the form it was meant to. A light sob escaped his lips as he recognized the spirit, which was an instantaneous reaction, and as badly as he wanted to go up to her and embrace her tightly, he knew he never could. He knew that for the rest of his pathetic and empty life, he could never feel her soft skin beneath his touch.
But yet she stepped forward, strangely solidifying as she came nearer to him. Bringing a hand to his chest. Smiling at him with the pink lips that he itched to reach out and kiss. Letting him know that she was there. If only for a moment. She stopped in front of him, drawing him up to her with her gentle charisma, offering him a gentle smile. She felt his need to have his arms around her, and she felt the same burning desire. Biting her lip, she slid her hands up his chest, eventually letting her arms wrap around his neck.
It only took a second. His arms were around her waist, and he was gazing intently into her still-gleaming eyes. Eyes that showed pure love in the years they'd been together, absolute hatred in her years at school, whatever she felt turning into many ever-changing emotions. She invented her own emotions as she went along in her life. And she eased right into the life of being a mother. She always came off as a young woman with no strings attached, seeming like a single college student instead of the mother she was.
Their lips eased together in a satisfying kiss, turning from gentle to deep, evolving into passionate, and stopping at the brink of a kiss he'd give her if he wanted to let her know he would like nothing better than to have his way with her. Tears streamed down his face as they kissed, then with a smile and a single glistening tear in her eye, Hermione began to fade away.
Touching her hand to his cheek, she whispered with her gentle smile, "If you're not sure what's real anymore, I'll tell you." She had almost vanished. "Our love is real." She was gone as quickly as she'd come.
But the tears for Severus had stopped. He knew he'd never forget that moment. He was lost in his thoughts, until a small voice piped up from beside the bed. His daughter stood next to him, never having seen his remotely private moment with the ghost of her mother, tugging at the material of his jeans. He smiled and lifted her onto his shoulders, taking a few steps forward, almost stopping as he felt her small hands being placed on top of his rough ones.
Her small voice was the only thing that made him want to make it outside to the garden.
"Chocolate is never the same for everyone, Daddy," she said happily.
Severus was glad she was on his shoulders. She couldn't see the tear fall from his eye, and she couldn't see his eyes momentarily closing to remember Hermione.
His voice would have been shaky if he'd been crying. But he kept it convincingly steady, if nothing else, for the reason of remaining strong for his daughter. He hoisted her off his shoulders and placed her on the bench in the middle of the garden, plucking up a rose and handing it to her.
Delight shone brightly in her eyes.
Chocolate.
Her beautiful, shining, chocolate eyes.
He smiled softly.
He looked up at the oak tree that guarded the garden of roses, daffodils, lilies, and tulips. For a moment he thought he saw a smiling Hermione sitting in the fork of the great tree, her orange and white sundress blowing in the wind along with her hair, a rose resting in the soft strands of auburn above her ear.
"Neither is a rose, love."
So there you have it. Review, and let me know whether I've done the story justice.
Nariko