Alright. First of all, you guys should really not get any ideas. I have no clue why I wrote this. It was the result of a strange brainstorm I had yesterday evening. Usually I would not touch the idea of writing a Vincent and Yuffie centric fic, even with a twenty foot pole, but for some reason, I did. I repeat. Do not ask why.

I'm not sure if this is going to turn into a Vincent/Yuffie pairing or not, though I'm not even sure if this is going to even marginally turn into anything. It all depends on the response I get to this fic. As I said, this is the result of a late night brainstorm. I hope there are only few spelling errors, and if there are, you can alert me.

So. I think I'm going to go on and say enjoy, especially to all the Vincent/Yuffie fans out there. I'm not one, but hell, I can at least try to write something in that direction.

Cheers!

Kyyrin

Try, Try Again

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it".

--- W.C. Fields

Attempt #1

I hate him. No, I'm not lying, I really, really hate him. Vampire boy has really gone and done it this time. He's broke every, single promise he's made to me, and he's got to have some nerve if he thinks I'm going to let him get away with it.

You see, Vinnie Valentine (full name Vincent Valentine), has been on the run ever since he beat the living hell out of that Omega WEAPON thing in Midgar a few months ago. He rarely stays anywhere for a long time, so it's almost, like, impossible to track him down, even if you know where to look. Cause he'll always be gone before you get there. Almost as if he knows you're coming……..Oh well……

But as a result of complete and utter high intelligence levels……..and as luck may have it, I, the Ninja goddess, the Single White Rose of Wutai, Yuffie Kisaragi, have figured out a way to converse with the man without having to go through the trouble of finding him.

You should have thought twice before you bought that cell phone, Vince.

I do not, of course, call his phone from mine, for this results in a "I do not wish to be disturbed, Yuffie", or a "You have no right to be calling me at such an ungodly hour, Yuffie", but rather, I use any other public phone I can get my hands on.

The perfect plan, ain't it?

Of course, he could just hang up on me those times too, but it takes longer cause he doesn't know who's calling him before hand. So on the occasions where I get him to stay on the line for more than twenty seconds (even that being a world record), I have managed to get him to promise me several things that he swore he would never ever forget.

For example the conversation from two months ago……..

"Hey, Vince? Yeah, it's me…….No, I do not have a death wish. No, I would not enjoy hanging upside down from the highest cliff on Da Chao. Alright……a minute? Well, that's a start. Let's make this quick, Vinnie…..Haha….very funny, Vincent. So ok. I just wanted to know if you're coming to my birthday party next weekend. Yes, unfortunately for you, loner man, it will involve loud music, lotsa guests and a big party……..Awwww, c'mon, Vinnie! Remember that time I had to save your scrawny butt from that zolom? Huh?? WHAT??? Don't give me that! You couldn't have dislodged that fang from your thigh if I hadn't been there to help you. I like totally saved your life, Vinnie!……..Oh, stop that! It was not my fault it bit you in the first place!!! Ok, maybe it was, but without me, you wouldn't be sitting and brooding wherever you are now……..See? I told you I was right……So whaddya say, Vinnie? Are you gonna come?…..Please?……Pretty please?…..With a chocobo and mog on top?……..Really?……You promise?…….SWEET mother of Bahamut's children!!! Score!!!………Yeah, Vince, I'm fully aware that Bahamut probably can't have kids……would be funny looking though……if he did it with Shiva……hehehehe…….what? You're hangin up cause it's been past a minute? Not on my watch, vampy. But remember, you promised……..Alright…..ok……..Vinnie? Vince? Vincent?……..aw damn it all……"

So my birthday party came and went, and Vinnie Valentine didn't show……..I tried to call him like five times after that to ask him what the hell he'd been thinking by breaking his promise and not coming to my sweet ass party. But when I finally did reach him, he just said he had been busy and had had issues that needed tending to. Typical Vincent.

So I was like, ok, that's cool, I can let him slide with breaking a promise once.

But it wasn't just once. It happened every…..single……time. He promised to pop by the Wutai annual summer carnival and play pin the tail on Leviathan with me. He never showed. He promised to walk around the Kalm country festival with me. I waited two days, he didn't come. He promised to come to the grand opening of Reeve's brand new WRO Headquarters, and drink sake with me even though I'm underage. Didn't see him once all day. And last, but definitely not least, the tip of the iceberg.

I promised. He swore he'd come to the yearly reunion of AVALANCHE, that's not actually really yearly, but once in a blue moon. When everyone has time. And on that day, everyone did have time, but Vincent. Tifa called him, Barret called him, Cid called him, then Reeve called him, and then even Cloud called him. And I'm serious. Vincent actually listens to Reeve and Cloud. But no one got hold of him.

I got him to pick up a day later, while calling from a phone at some supermarket I had managed to break into. And ya know what he said? Ya know what he said???

"My apologies to everyone, Yuffie, but I had some very important business to attend to that couldn't wait".

I screamed my head off at him and got violent, which resulted in me setting off the alarm in the supermarket I had so stealthily broken into. I almost got caught because of him. And yes, it was his fault. If he had been at the reunion, I wouldn't have had anything to get upset about.

After that, I holed myself up in a hotel room, and brooded endlessly over why Vinnie would do such awful things like break his promises. I sat on my bed for hours, pondering the situations, the places, and the fights he could have gotten himself into that were so important, he couldn't attend any of my requested events.

And finally, after one particularly thoughtful episode, I realized it.

That had to be it.

There couldn't be any other reason.

I nearly slapped myself, actually I did, for not recognizing the problem at hand earlier. It was the most logical explanation for all the happenings. The only plausible thing he could be doing instead.

It was that evening during which I came to the conclusion that Vincent Valentine must have been, during all these months, sleeping in his coffin while angsting and brooding over Lucrecia, and thinking of ways to bring Hojo back from the dead and then kill him again after everything that psycho had done.

I figured, hey. That would explain why he said he's been so busy lately. He must have had some sort of a relapse of "I feel guilt and anguish over Lucrecia"-ness, and had locked himself back up in that stinky, ancient coffin of his.

Ew.

It was then that I, Yuffie Kisaragi, decided I would jog over to Nibelheim and yell at his ignorant, depressive ass until he never so much as thinks of breaking one of his promises again. Lucrecia angsty relapse or not, I thought he had gotten over that chick! And he should…….she was dead, and he's alive because she sacrificed herself so that he could live. It's simple, isn't it? And Vinnie's a smart sixty and a half year old guy that looks like he's twenty seven and has never seen the sun in his lifetime. So why doesn't he realize it, and let go?

So here I am, sitting on a rock in front of the Shinra Manor, working up all the courage I have to go into that smelly, disgusting ruin of a house that's practically overrun with icky monsters. I'm not scared. I'm really not. I'm just nervous. What if Vinnie isn't in that coffin? What if Vinnie isn't in that Manor? What if I never find Vinnie? Sheesh, I think I'm gonna have to mentally smack myself now……ouch………

What am I thinking? I've got more balls than Vinnie, Cid, Reeve, Red, Barret and Cloud put together all have in their current lifetimes. Ok, Vinnie doesn't count cause he's immortal. And Red doesn't count cause I don't know if he has balls. And I guess I can't really use that saying anyways because I'm a girl. But we all know what I mean, don't we……..?

The tabby cat that had walked up beside me purred, and rubbed itself against my leg.

Good kitty. At least someone other than myself understands me around here…….

So that's it then. No time to lose. I am now making my way into the dirty shit manor and……..wow. I mean, hell, this place isn't as dirty and smelly as I thought it was going to be. Seriously……this place actually looks……clean. Geez, does Vinnie have a housekeeper or somethin'? Really. Everything's spick and span. Like the stairs I just walked up, the hallway I just strolled through, and the winding staircase without a banister railing that leads to the basement which I am currently trying not to fall off of at the moment.

Someone's swept the basement corridor, I notice. Stupid, whoever did that. It's just gonna get all dusty again cause no one walks down here unless it's Vincent going to get something to drink after one of his coffin cat naps. If he even drinks. I don't think I really wanna know what he drinks. Hopefully not blood. Dear Shiva please, no blood. It's hard enough to convince myself that he's not a vampire as it is. And I mean, he really doesn't make that idiotic stereotype any easier for himself by sleeping in that coffin.

Speaking of which, I am now looking at said coffin.

Cleansed to perfection. I guess mine would be too, if I ever decided to sleep in one. I mean, it would be creepy enough in itself to want to do that in the first place, so why not keep it clean for starters. I don't even think Vinnie wants to crash in a grimy, dusty coffin that leaks spiders.

The coffin itself is shut tight, and I don't trust myself enough to go over and open it. Cause if I do, it will probably result in a very cranky Vinnie, and a very scared me, who cranky Vinnie will promptly chase out without even being given a chance to speak. I look to the right, and see an extra bandana and a black glove lying on one of the other creepy coffins in the creepy room.

I was so right. Vinnie is so totally in that coffin. Like I'm so sure, I don't even need to peek inside. So I think I'll just start ranting and raving at him from right here where I am currently standing. Which is a safely a few feet away. Really. Only to ensure that I have room to jump around if he starts shooting.

"Vinnie!", I start. "Vincent Valentine, I know you're in there, and I know you can hear me".

Silence.

Not like I was expecting an answer anyways.

So I continued.

"I hope you're decaying in that coffin of yours, Vinnie, because you are in sooooo much trouble right now! I am soooooo gonna kick your ass when you decide to come out and talk to me like a man, you big coward. So get ready for this lecture, cause I'm not goin' easy on you!"

I could've made pudding out of the thick stillness.

"Ok. Fine. Then don't talk. You won't even have reasons to defend yourself once I'm through with you, Valentine! Do you have any idea how excited I was when you said you'd show at my birthday party? Do you??? Well obviously, you don't, cause you would have come if it meant anything to you. If you were just going to not show, you shouldn't have promised to come! And don't even try and argue with me, Vinnie, cause I will have a comeback for every…..single….word you say. Got that?", I screeched to the absolute quietness that was the room. Of course he wouldn't say anything. Maybe he was embarrassed. Then again, this was Vincent. Therefore then again, probably not. But the thought was delightful.

"Ya know, I'm just so sick and tired of you promising to come to things, or to do things, and then never coming, or never doing! Do you know how frustrating that is? I mean, didn't your parents teach you any manners? It's friendly, and polite to keep your promises, Vinnie. I just thought you ought to know that. I guess they also forgot to teach you that it's also polite to stay on the phone with someone for longer than a minute and a half without hanging up on them. But maybe that's not their fault, maybe it's just you!"

I was fully aware that all the things I was saying were shameless and rude, and that if I were Vincent, I would have asked me if my parents had taught me some manners as well, but that was all forgotten in my annoyance and rage. Besides. As long as I get my ass back to Wutai around the time of my coming of age ceremony, and agreed to be the heir of the Wutai throne, I don't think Godo gives two shits about my manners towards others. Hell, I don't even think he'd care if I went insane and started to bungee jump off Gaea's Cliff in a mog costume, just as long as I was back in Wutai on time.

I really, really, honesty, truthfully dislike my dad.

I now that I was wallowing in misery about the "wonder dad" I was stuck with called Godo, I decided I was finished with screaming at Vincent for today. But only for today.

"I hope you understood me, Vinnie. Cause I'm not gonna stop bothering you until you at least apologize for being such a nasty old prick! I swear, I am gonna come in here every day for a month if that's what it's gonna take to get you out of that coffin and back into civilization. So count on it tomorrow, nine am I'll be back here yelling my lungs out at you! Ok, maybe ten. Gotta allow a girl some beauty sleep an' all, but I will be here, and I will not leave until you apologize. And maybe give me some materia. Some good materia. It better be some damn good materia, Vinnie, or you'll regret it. Ok. I'm leaving now. So, bye!"

My chest was heaving as I ran out of the icky room and back up the crazy winding stairs with no banister railing. I rolled down the stairs twice out of sheer stupidity because I missed a step, and made it all the way up on the third try. One of the next things I'd rant to Vincent about would be to build a banister rail for that Planet forsaken staircase.

I checked into the Nibelheim Inn that night feeling extremely smug and proud of myself. I, Yuffie, had stood up to Vincent Valentine, ex-Turk, sharpshooter and master brooder of the century, and had lived to tell the tale. Not only that, I had shoved the cold, blatant truth right into his pretty, pale face.

Wait.

Did I just refer to any part of Vincent as pretty?

I really must be going insane.

Maybe I'm just tired. I need sleep. Yes. Sleep is good. And a boyfriend. A boyfriend would be good too. If I could find a boy stupid enough to go out with an ugly, thieving little ninja like me. But then again, just because I don't think I'm attractive, doesn't mean everyone else does too. And come to think of it, if I don't find a boyfriend myself, I could always ask Godo to pair me up with some rich, prissy, snob that doesn't care about anything but the title and the money. Ew. No way. Mentally hitting myself for the mere thought crossing my mind…….ow.

Sleep sounds good. Better than boyfriend at the moment. I will need to be well-fed and refreshed before I face Vincent and his coffin again tomorrow. Speaking of food, I am really, honestly hungry. I saw a grocery store not far from here. I think I'll go practice my stealth and sneakiness there…..on second thought, I think I'll take some materia with me just in case.

Sleep, Confuse, Steal….maybe Water, Ice…….

And Manipulate…….

Because I'm just that evil……hehehe……

…..joke….

….It was a joke…..

I'll continue writing this? If there's...any interest at all?