Imagine Me & You

Chap 1: Jew vs Nazi

The steep slopes were washed in pure white wonders, the mountain majesty are as purple as amethyst jewels; The skies rings with bitter cold air as it dances into town, a town so cheerful and normal, one might believe that he or she may never realize when the towns folks will loose their control and start a senseless rampage. The people here are always so cautious of their town, eager to protect it with their grubby little hands, setting it near their hearts in pride. This town is cold, quiet and peaceful, if not a bit calamity-driven. This town could be easily missed in an A-Z map, seeing how there's nothing really important about this place. This town is small, yet the peoples' courage continue to grow to help protect their youngs and the elders alike. This town is where kids could fish with their dads, and bring it home for dinner. This town would've been the next, cooler-and-more-fairer-cousin of Alaska. This town is South Park.

The school bell at the Elementary school shrills out into the could air of South Park, and the double door entries cracks open, and children of different ages come pouring out, their feet and hands cold yet they still ignored it. They were used to it after living in the snowy climate for so long. Birds are chirping in the trees, and silver-maned squirrels scatters across the grass. Finally, a boy with a mildly-funny looking green ushanka steps out, his breath appearing in the air like ciggarate smoke and his face is pale. His name is Kyle Broflovski.

Kyle looks around suspiciously, looking for a certain overweight, bigoted asshole. Kyle wanted to serve Eric Cartman a good ranting about how rude it was about immitating Timmy at lunch. Look at me, durr! Cartman! Cartman! CARTMAN! God. Cartman isn't the most compassionate person on the planet, but then again, when was there ever a time where he wasn't? Maybe Kyle is overreacting about the Timmy-thing, seeing as how Timmy didn't mind Cartman-even to the point to ignoring him. Shocker.- and even clapped for him while slurring his own name over and over again. Maybe he is overreacting. He wouldn't mind if other people liked to poke fun at Timmy or Jimmy lightly once in a while, but when it all comes boiling down to the morbidly-obese Cartman, it was a whole new outlook.

For Kyle, anyways.

"Cartman!"

Kyle finally finds him, walking with Stan and Kenny, playing with something that Kyle didn't know or even care about. Or even wants to know. Anyways, Kyle stomps up to Cartman, ready to spill his complaints and rants on him, like he always did to him. And Cartman will yell back and defend himself with sarcastic remarks about Kyle being a jew, or being a fag, like he always did. It was going to be another fight, Kyle versus Cartman, and Stan and Kenny would have to stand by and watch while they shake their heads unbelieveably.

"What, Jew?" Cartman sneers, making Kyle fume. Stan and Kenny stood by Kyle, in case the fatass decides to take the verbal fight into a physical fight. Kyle could fight him with words, but Cartman is the larger type and can put Kyle down faster than you can say his name. Three small kids could do for the fatso.

"Cartman, you better apologize to Timmy. I think what you did at lunch break was cruel." Kyle said between teeth. Cartman smirks while Kyle stood on his ground.

"Kahl, I think that you should get on your knees and suck on mah hot, spicy boner."

"Cartman!"

"I'd love to stand by and hear you bitch and moan about your little hippie-love towards mankind, but if you excuse me, I have a date with Terrance, Phillip, and cheesy poofs. So screw you guys, A'm goin' home!"

Kyle growls between his teeth. Whatever Cartman did, it seemed like he always got away with it, be it by his ever changing personalities, or the way he can wrap people around his little finger easily. Sociopath, that's what he is! Well, Kyle is not gonna let this one slide!

Just as Cartman began to turn away, Kyle jumps foward and grabs his shoulder and spun him around before screaming at his baffled expression, "NO! I'M NOT GONNA STAND BY AND WATCH YOU GET AWAY FROM YOUR FUCKING CHILDISH GAME OF MAKING EVERYONE AROUND YOU FEELING LIKE A COMPLETE AND UTTER SHIT!"

Cartman rolls his sholder from his grasp, "Get offa me, you fuckin' jew! I can do whatever I hella I want! It's not my fault that Timmy fell into the "retarded" group in our school, or how your fucking fat jew mom even believed that she could impregnate and give birth to a stupid, son of a bitch like you, or that your own fucking brother isn't even your real brother, just some dildo from Canada, and the worst part is that it's not my fault that I hate stupid fucking hippie jew fucks LIKE YOU!"

Cartman flicks at Kyle's nose with his finger, "So what are you gonna do about it, jew?"

Next thing he knows, Cartman lays on the hospital bed, "Dammit, why did I have to go and piss off Kahl today, of all day. I should've checked my goddamn calender, his light blood flow could've given me signs!"

"What the hell are you talking about, fatass?" Stan says as he rolls his eyes. Cartman growls at him before continuing.

"Duh, jews like him have intense PMS once a month. It's not everyday where I go and diss him and I land my ass to the hospital in a matter of minutes."

"I think it's not his PMS, Cartman. You always upset him to the point of no return." Kenny murmurs, playing around with the strings of his orange parka. Cartman snorts in response. Kenny looks up, "It's true, Cartman. Out of all of us, even out of all the kids at school, you always make Kyle your target."

"Well he shouldn't be such a goddamn jew!" Cartman whines.

"Cartman, Kenny's right. Believe it or not, Kyle cares about you. Bullshit, I know, but he does. And even though I know you're not going to ever like him, but atleast you can tolerate him a bit." Stan said before leaving the room, "I hafta go home, mom will freak. See ya guys."

"See ya..." Cartman calls out softly, and as soon as the door closes, he hisses under his breath, "Idiot..."

Kenny waves at Stan before turning back to Cartman with a grin. Cartman caught his grin with his eyes, and glares at him; He never liked it when the pervert grinned at him like that, "What?"

Kenny shrugs, that smug look never leaving his face, "I don't know, do you want to apologize to Kyle?"

"Like fucking hell I would," Cartman crosses his arm over the other, looking away in disgust, "It's his fault for him to interfere into my fucking life every five minutes. Oh Cartman, you shouldn't do that. Oh Cartman, you're so mean. Oh Cartman, I told you so! Oh, oh, oh!"

Kenny snickers, "Well... He does seem to be good at recieving your attention alot."

Cartman looks at him, "Where are you going with this, welfare?"

Kenny rolls his eyes, "I mean, you could've ignored him. It's that simple. Why can't you?"

"Kahl's like... a fly. A jew fly. He never leaves and he never leaves you the fuck alone," Cartman shudders, "He always ruins fun for everyone, and he's always with his boyfriend Stan. God, I hate those two."

Kenny giggles. Cartman sighs.

"Maybe you should change," Kenny pauses, looking at the floor, his eyelashes fanning across his blue eyes, "Maybe by then, he'll leave you alone."

Cartman returns to his position of looking away and crossing his arms stubbornly. He hears Kenny sighing, "I'll see you tommorow, fatass."

"AY!"

Kenny giggles before walking out of the room. Meanwhile, Cartman stares at the floor, looking deep in thought.

Two days later after suffocating in the prison called the hospital, Cartman returned home. His mother was terribly worried about him- Oh, poppikins, I'm so glad you're back home. Mommy wants you to stay home from school tommorow, just in case everything with you is okay, okay sweetums?- and decided to leave Cartman in his bed. On one half Cartman was glad to skip school tommorow, but another half wanted to come back, for some strange reason. Like he wanted to see some people, just to feel at ease again...

He misses his friends.

Cartman almost pukes in his mouth at that thought, but decide that it is the cold, hard truth. He shrugs it off before closing his eyes, trying to get some rest- Getting your ass kicked and being in the hospital is pretty exhausting, once you think about it.

Cartman is on the verge of falling asleep, when he hears his bedroom door creak and a sweet voice chirps in, "Eric, your little friend is here."

"Goddamit, mam, I just wanna go to sleep." Cartman replies angrily, his eyes still shut. He can feel light footsteps coming closer, and it is then Cartman decides to just sit up and face the music. As he does, he wipes his sleepy eyes and opens to see the horrors infront of him- His mother standing next to Kyle, "AY!"

"Eric, Kyle wants to apologize for hurting you at school. I'll just leav you two al--" His mother is cut off by Cartman-

"But maaaaaam, I don't want to be alone with him!"

"Eric Theodore Cartman, you and your little friend have to compromise and apologize for one another. Calling Kyle a jew won't justifice your anger towards him!" His mother barks, and Cartman shrinks back into his pillow. Immediatley she smiles brightly before chirping again, "I'll be in the kitchen baking brownies. Now you behave, my little sweetums!"

Out of the corner of Cartman's eye, he could see Kyle smirk and roll his eyes. Some mother she is.

Cartman and Kyle stare at one another for what seems like forever. Kyle looks around in his room and decides to walk closer to Cartman, suddenly appearing shyer, "Hey Cartman..."

Cartman hisses at him before returning to his postion of laying back in bed, facing away from him, "I'm not in the mood, Kahl, so why don't you just run along home?"

Silence irks the room. Cartman can feel Kyle's hand on his back, and he shudders, "Cartman, I just want to come by and say... I'm sorry. I just don't like it when you make fun of underprivilage kids like that... I dunno, maybe I'm overreacting, I mean, Jimmy doesn't mind getting poked at a bit, but..."

Cartman looks at the floor, "You just think I'm different because you've always known me as being a really rotten piece of shi--"

"Don't say it, Cartman! Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

"No."

Cartman gasps as he feels his whole body getting turn around and immediatley he finds himself staring at two angry green eyes, "AY!"

"Don't 'aye!' me, fat boy!" Kyle angrily replies, clutching at Cartman's collar tightly, "Now you listen to me, fatass, because I'm getting pretty fucking sick and tired of you! You promise me you'll never tease underprivilage kids like that again, and I won't kick your ass back to the hospital. What do you say?"

Cartman stares at him back hard, "Fine, jew, fine! I promise I won't do that again. Now lemme go!"

Kyle gives him a good, hard, cold stare for a moment before letting go. Cartman grabs his own throat in shock, trying to ease his breathing.

"I'll see you tommorow, fat boy."

"I'm not goin' tommorow, jew. My mom is letting me stay here."

"Oh no, Cartman!" Kyle states seriously, "I'm not gonna let you do that, no matter what your mom says. Just because a scrawny kid like me beat your ass a little bit does not mean you can skip school tommorow! That is bullshit!"

Cartman growls before grabbing his pillow case and chucks it at him, "GET OUT! MAAAAAM, GET KAHL OUTTA HERE!"

"STOP IT, FATASS!"

"MAAAAAAAAAM!" Cartman screamed harder, but he knew he is doomed; He knows that his mother usually listens the weather forecast alot before getting supplies for her brownies every week. He's doomed as fuck.

"JUST STOP AND LISTEN!" Kyle shrills, grabbing a hold at Cartman's chubby arms, "You don't have to be this way!"

"What the fuck do you mean?! I can do whatever I hella I want!" Cartman latch onto Kyle's sides, "You're not the fucking boss of me, you fucking jew!"

"Shut up, fatso!"

"Buttfucker!"

"PIECE OF SHIT!"

"NO GOOD FOR NOTHIN' JEW!"

"NAZI!"

"JESUS KILLER!"

"CRACK WHORE BABY!"

"MAAAAAAAAAAAM!"

Kyle lets go of his arms and huffs angrily, "Why do I even bother, you're never gonna change!" He gets off of Cartman's bed and walks towards the door. Cartman bit his bottom lip and narrows his eyes at him.

"Oh yeah! Well, we'll see about that, jew! I garrantee you I will change! I'll be the better person that you'll ever be!"

"I'd love to fucking see that!" Kyle ejaculates loudly back at him really hard, making Cartman shrink back in surprise, "By the end of this month, I wanna see some changes! I wanna see you loose some weight and control your appetite for once, I want to see you be more nicer to everyone around you, and especially, I want to see how you are with me!"

"Fine... It's on, Kahl." Cartman spoke in a low, serious voice, "I will change."

"How bout' a bet? If you change, I'll never make fun of your mom again, and I'll try to stay out of your business more. But if you don't," Kyle takes a deep breath, "I'm gonna have my way with you."

Cartman sits there in silence for a minute, "... What do you mean by that?"

One side of Kyle's lip curls upward, and rubs his hands together in an evil-fashion, "You'll see, fatboy... You'll see."

"Oh no, Kahl, you tell me right now what do you mean by that!"

Kyle stares at him expressionless for a while, "I'm gonna humiliate you. I have videos of you playing your little dress up games. In fact, I have ten tapes." Kyle turns around, crossing his arms, "I mean... the school would love it, don'tcha think Cartman? Or would you rather be a better person, and I won't ruin your life for good?"

Cartman stares at the behind of Kyle's back in utter disbelief; Can he do that to him? Can he really be serious about the tapes? Is he being blackmailed?

"... Fine." Cartman barely whispers.

Kyle turns around, "Hm?"

"I said fine, Kyle, I'll change."

Kyle smiles a little, "That's the spirit. So I'll see you tommorow?"

Cartman looks at him. Suddenly Kyle looks more...ethereal. The sun that peeks into the miniblinds of Cartman's windows shone onto Kyle's face, and his eyes shone aloe vera green. Kyle's smirk fades into a confused look.

"Cartman?"

Cartman shakes his head mildly, "Yes... Yes, I'll be there tommorow."

Kyle smiles evilly, and Cartman shrinks back again, "It's been nice seeing you again, Eric."