Of Holes, and Heaven

By Fidelius Charm

Summary: "Why?" Hermione whispered, almost inaudibly to George. He didn't respond right away, a look of uncertainty apparent on his face. "He loved you." Was his simple reply, "More than you'll ever know."

In memory of one of my favorite characters in literature: Fred Weasley.

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity."

-- Gilda Radner

"…and to Hermione Jane Granger," Kingsley Shacklebolt read aloud in his characteristically deep and solemn tone, "I leave my half of the Weasley's Wizards Wheezes to you. May you someday embrace the prankster within."

It was as if everyone had decided to stop breathing all at once, for an almost deathly silence fell over the inhabitants of the Burrow. No one showed any kind emotion; except for George who, with his arms crossed, had an amused smirk on his lips.

Then, as suddenly as it was silent, the table erupted in chatter. The buzzing of voices sounded similar to the swarming of bees, though Hermione didn't take much notice: for she and George remained quiet, Hermione staring directly at the surviving half of the twins, her hazel eyes searching him for some kind of answer. George on the other hand was now staring out the window towards the lake nearby.

Ron, Mrs. Weasley, Harry, Ginny…even Percy, were questioning Hermione as to why Fred would have made such an arrangement. Hermione, only half hearing them, decided it was best to get the answers to her questions directly from the best source possible, "George, we need to talk outside," When he failed to move she added a resounding, "Now."

Mrs. Weasley, understanding that Hermione didn't have answers to any of their questions, diverted everyone's attention with her freshly baked mince pies. Hermione was grateful for that, and smiled at her thankfully. George opened the back door for Hermione who followed him towards the lake nearby. For a while neither of the war veterans spoke, each taking in the silence and beautiful scenery around them.

"Why?" Hermione whispered, almost inaudibly to George.

He didn't respond right away, a look of uncertainty apparent on his face.

"He loved you." Was his simple reply, "More than you'll ever know."

Now it was Hermione's turn to hesitate. She began going through every moment she could ever remember spending with Fred, she began to reevaluate each and every thing he had ever said to her, every simple touch was now under the scrutinizing look of Hermione's mind's eye.

"He wasn't really outright with it, though there were moments you probably never noticed," George continued, "He knew you loved Ron, that Ron loved you, that you'd end up falling in love with one another and spending the rest of your lives together. After what you and Ron had been through, he knew he'd be a fool to believe anything else."

Hermione felt her heart sink, and she realized George was right: Fred had never even hinted at the fact he had feelings for her, not even once or at least, not that she ever saw. There weren't any awkward glances, or stolen moments alone, there wasn't anything that had indicated Fred even thought about her.

"How do you know this George?" Hermione asked, "If he never really hinted at it, how do you know?"

"He told me once, I am his twin after all. It was in our fifth year before we left. Angelina and him had just had a huge row over getting kicked off the Quidditch team. He said he wished he could have defended your honor too, because you were really something else…that when you were around he couldn't help but smile, that Malfoy was worse than Snape for saying you were anything but great. Then he asked me if I knew what love felt like. I couldn't answer him…" George looked out onto the water, the sunlight reflecting off the murky pool of cool water.

"Hermione, you have to understand, Fred wasn't interested in hard work, if he could he'd take the easy way out of everything…but when it came to trying to make you laugh or smile with one of our pranks or jokes," He paused, "My twin worked his arse off. He would watch with baited breath to see if you would laugh or at least smile. Your love of order, and rules, your respect for authority is what sparked his interest in you. He just couldn't believe that a person like you could exist, an eleven year old who didn't laugh."

"I did laugh back then!" Hermione said in protest, her face twisted into a look of annoyance.

George, ignoring her, sat down to her right and stuck his feet in the cool water of the lake. Hermione turned to look at George and for the first time since the accident was able to take long look at the hole that had once been George's left ear. It was beginning to form scar tissue, but Hermione could still make out the ear canal.

"Fred and I were working on an Enchanted Ear," He replied knowing that Hermione was staring, "We got the idea from Mad-Eye…and our Extendable Ears, we were just about finished too. I can't even look at it anymore."

"It must hurt," Hermione said sadly, "I have some—

"Don't worry about it Hermione," George replied, "Please, just don't worry."

"I can't help it Fred," She quickly realized her mistake, and covered her mouth.

"I like when people call me Fred," George said with a sad smile, "It keeps his spirit alive."

"George…"

"He loved you Hermione, he wanted to see you smile. He loved you so much he was willing to spend the rest of his life not saying how he felt about you. He loved and believed in you enough to allow you to safeguard the future he'll never be able to experience. Take this." George handed her an extremely old leather bound book, "I found this when I found his will. It was hidden under his mattress. I'm not sure if he would have wanted you to read it, but Hermione, I think you should know how truly selfless my brother was." He paused and then added, "But don't get me wrong either, he did enjoyed giving first years experimental Nosebleed Nougats for a good laugh too." George smiled again, a little more brightly.

Hermione opened to the first page:

It was Fred's journal.

George stood, leaving Hermione to read the pages of a lifetime of laughter, joy, happiness, and regretfully, self-doubt, unrequited love, and sadness. It had been Fred's journal: All of his personal thoughts and feelings were right at the end of her fingertips. She couldn't bare it, she couldn't bare to read through it all. All her body allowed her to do was cry. Cry for the soul who just wanted everyone to be happy and free to laugh and to love…

"I hope you're in heaven Fred, so you don't have to be in pain anymore…" She whispered to the wind, through the sobs that riddled her speech, clutching the journal to her chest.

Deathly Hallows was such a heartbreaking experience for me. I had a feeling in my stomach that the twins wouldn't survive as a whole unit, and I knew the minute George was attacked in the beginning that Fred would have to be the twin to die. As morbid as it sounds, I knew Rowling wouldn't let the Weasley twins survive.

This the the product of my saddness. Sorry that it's totally incoherent.

-- FC