A Happy Compromise
CONTAINS DH SPOILERS
A/N: Although I, of course, am saddened by Remus and Tonks' fate at the end of DH, I cannot help but be intrigued by Teddy. He has the potential to be simultaneously tragic and wonderful. This focuses more on Teddy than on R/T (although they certainly are there!), but in a way, I suppose this whole story is a tribute to them! Thanks to JenniGellerBing for the beta.
The first time Teddy Lupin performed magic also happened to be the first time he saw his parents.
He hadn't meant to fly up into that tree. He'd been following the progress of a Blue Jay with his eyes – wanting to get a better look so that he could copy its color for his hair – when he just floated up to the tallest branch and landed with a rustling of leaves.
The bird flew away, but Teddy was stuck. He called for his grandmother, but she was inside the house and couldn't hear him. Teddy couldn't remember ever being so terrified in his entire life. His heart was pounding loud in his ears as he cried out, desperate for anyone at all to hear his pleas and help him down.
"Teddy!" came a feminine voice from a little way's down the tree.
Teddy looked down, clinging to the thick branch for dear life. And there, sitting on the branch below him, was a familiar-looking pink-haired witch. He knew that face and that voice – it sometimes visited him in the sweetest of dreams. Was he asleep? He didn't feel like he was asleep... Teddy gaped for a moment, his grip slacking on the branch. He slipped down a few inches before tightening his hold on it once more.
"M – mum?" Teddy squeaked disbelievingly.
"Wotcher, Teddy!" she said brightly. "We're going to help you down now! It'll be all right, I promise, just follow me, okay?"
Teddy nodded mutely, too grateful for help to even consider to whom he was speaking. He dangled precariously from his branch before dropping down to where his mother was sitting.
"Careful now, we're still really high up," she warned him. "Don't worry, your dad's down there, he'll catch you if you fall."
Teddy's eyes widened as he looked down. Sure enough, he spotted the distant figure of his father waving up at him before opening his arms. Teddy watched his mother's slim figure climb expertly down to the next branch and the next, before following, albeit a bit more clumsily. After a few minutes, Teddy dropped onto the grass with a dull thud, legs trembling from exertion and fear.
"Good job, son," said his father encouragingly.
Tonks whistled. "That was one impressive show of magic there! The first magical thing I did was change my grandmum's white cat to purple." Remus raised an eyebrow at her. "What? White is just such a dull color for a cat... don't you think, Teddy?"
Teddy nodded, mouth too dry to speak.
"Well anyway, we should be going," said Tonks. "See you."
Remus nodded. "Take care, son. You know how to find us if you need us."
Teddy merely nodded again, too shocked to even tell his dad that he had absolutely no idea how to find them.
That night, Teddy recounted the day's events to his grandmother. She smiled and patted his arm affectionately.
"That's nice, dear."
"You don't believe me?"
Andromeda smiled sadly. "Teddy, your parents are dead."
"I know, but –"
"I know you miss them - so do I - but the dead can't come back. It's best you realize that now, rather than getting your hopes up for nothing."
"But they were there, I saw them!" replied the boy hotly. "They talked to me, they helped me down from the tree!"
"Theodore," said his grandmother so sharply that his heart stopped. She rarely ever spoke in that tone. "It is best not to make up stories."
"But I didn't –"
"This topic is closed."
"But –"
"Closed!"
Noticing the stern look in his grandmother's piercing dark eyes, Teddy sighed and began to play with the food on his plate. He had suddenly lost his appetite. The plate swam in front of his eyes as he blinked back tears.
"So, you performed your first magic today, Teddy?" asked his grandmother in forced friendly tones. "That's wonderful!"
Teddy nodded, but only felt shame.
Later, Teddy sat up in bed. He could not stop replaying the scene in his head. His parents had been there with him in that tree, he was sure of it! He wanted more than anything for his grandmother to believe him, and her sudden anger had confused him. She loved his parents, too, didn't she? Then why wouldn't she want to see them?
He felt lonely again, almost as lonely as he'd been while stuck up in that oak tree. His grandmother had always believed in and supported him. Tears streamed down his cheeks at the thought of her disbelief.
"It's okay, Teddy," said his mother's voice kindly.
Teddy recognized it immediately this time, but he jumped nevertheless.
"Mum!"
"Yes, darling, it's me," she said, sitting down beside him on his bed.
She reached over and wiped the tears from her son's face. After a moment, Remus appeared and ruffled Teddy's turquoise hair before sitting down on the other side of him.
"What's bothering you, son?" he asked softly.
"Gran doesn't believe I saw you today."
"She doesn't, does she?" Remus frowned. "You know, sometimes adults can't see the same things children can."
"Why not?"
"Well, adults are less likely to believe incredible things like this."
"Why?"
Remus chuckled slightly. "Because, unlike you who has opened his mind and heart to it, they are too short-sighted to understand."
"But I want Gran to believe me. Maybe you can go talk to her! Talking to you would make her happy, I know it would!"
"We can only appear to those who are willing to see us, Teddy. Since your grandmum can't believe it, she can't see us."
Teddy's face fell, but he looked toward Tonks in the hope that his mother would take his side on the matter.
"Sorry, Teddy, but your father's right. She won't be able to see us, and hearing about it will only make her sad. You don't want to make her sad, right?" Teddy shook his head. "Maybe we should just keep our meetings a secret between the three of us, how does that sound?"
"Okay," Teddy conceded with a sigh.
His mother beamed at him. "Now how about a story before bed, hmm? Oh, I've got it! When I was training to be an Auror – you know I was an Auror, right?" Teddy nodded enthusiastically. "Right, good. Well, this one time, when I was training, I had to trail this troll..."
That night, Teddy fell asleep to the sound of his mother's voice and the feel of his father's hand stroking the fringe on his forehead, a small smile on his face.
The last time Teddy saw his parents was also his last night at home before leaving for Hogwarts.
As Teddy grew up and began to train himself to control his bursts of magic, he also began to control his parents' appearances.
They came whenever he asked for them, although they only ever appeared when he was alone. He didn't feel the need to call for them when he was surrounded by living family, though he had a feeling they wouldn't come even if he asked.
Sometimes, though, he would cheat. If he was sad or hurt, he would hide from everyone else in the hopes that his parents would appear. They always did.
On this particular night, he lay awake, tossing and turning, his heart pounding madly in his chest. Tomorrow, he would be on a train to Hogwarts. It felt as if he had been waiting for this day since the moment he was born. Yet, he was absolutely terrified.
What if he didn't make any friends? What if he was bad at magic? What would his Gran and Harry say if he got kicked out of Hogwarts and had to live at home forever like a Muggle or a Squib or something? He shuddered at the thought of disappointing them.
Teddy felt as if he was six years old again, stuck up in that big oak tree with no idea how to get down. I need you, mum and dad, he thought desperately.
"It's okay, Teddy, we're here," said Tonks soothingly, stroking her son's arm in the darkness.
Teddy felt his mattress sink as his father sat down on the edge. He reached out to touch his parents as he always did when they appeared – to make sure that they were real.
"I'm scared," the boy admitted in a shaky voice.
"It'll be all right, I promise," said Tonks.
"But what if I'm sorted into Slytherin?" Teddy asked in a small voice.
Both parents laughed at this.
"So what if you are?" Tonks asked.
"Well, I heard Harry and Ron talking and they don't like Slytherins."
"We'll be proud of you no matter what, and so will they," said Remus. "You're Teddy and that's all that matters."
"You'll do brilliantly, I know it!" added Tonks.
"I hope I'm in Gryffindor," admitted Teddy fiercely. "Err, or Hufflepuff!" he added when his mother raised an eyebrow at him. "Can you tell me about your sorting?"
"Well," said Remus slowly, "the Sorting Hat told me that I would do well in Ravenclaw –"
"And me Gryffindor!" interrupted Tonks.
"But in the end," continued Remus, as if he hadn't been interrupted, "it decided I would benefit most from being in Gryffindor."
"The Sorting Hat knows its stuff, kid," his mother promised. "I wouldn't worry."
"Okay," said Teddy, lying back on his pillows and stifling a yawn. "Besides, if things go wrong, I've always got you..."
He saw his parents exchange glances, though he couldn't read the looks on their faces in the darkness.
Remus cleared his throat. "Erm, Ted, perhaps you shouldn't put so much stake in us being there."
"What d'ya mean?"
Remus heaved a sigh. "The thing is, you're getting older. What will the other children think when they see you talking to yourself?"
"But I'm not talking to myself, I'm talking to you!"
"Yes, but they aren't going to know that."
Teddy looked down at his hands as he toyed with a loose thread on his quilt. "I just won't let them hear me," he muttered.
"Teddy, dear, it's time for us to let you go off on your own," said Tonks gently.
"Let me go on my own?" he repeated blankly. "But isn't that what you've been doing to me all my life?"
"Teddy –"
"No!" he cried, pointing a shaking finger at his mother. "You left me to go fight, you left me and then you never came back! You both did!"
Tears stung at the corner of his eyes, but he refused to cry. Instead, he glared at his mother as she stared back at him in shock, her face revealing a mix of hurt and anger in the pale moonlight. He hardly ever spoke disrespectfully to anyone – least of all his parents – and he willed away the guilt that threatened to engulf him. He felt angry and betrayed and, for the first time, he did not feel even a trace of pride in the sacrifice they had made.
"You know we left to fight for you," said Tonks in a harsh whisper, "to make sure you had a better life –"
"I know, I've heard the story," he spat.
"You cannot come to rely on us this much, Teddy," said Remus calmly. "It will not be healthy."
"I can't rely on my own parents?" he asked incredulously.
"Not when they're dead, no," Remus said sadly.
"We're so sorry for leaving you, Teddy. If I had known how things were going to be then - if I had known I would have to leave you forever – I of course would have stayed in a heartbeat."
"As would I have," added Remus sincerely.
Teddy's anger was quickly fading at his parents' words. He bit his lip; it was becoming harder and harder not to cry. "So what am I supposed to do without you?"
"What do you mean without us?" demanded Tonks. "Just because we aren't going to appear to you like this anymore, doesn't mean we won't still be with you. Teddy, your father and I are with you. Always."
"How?"
"In here," said Remus, pressing a hand to his son's forehead. "And in here," he finished, placing a hand on the boy's chest, on top of his heart.
"We'll always be with you, and whenever you think of us, Teddy, you'll know we're there with you, too," said his mother kindly.
Teddy nodded mutely; a lump had lodged itself in his throat.
"Good luck tomorrow, Teddy," she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek.
"Remember," said Remus, bending over to place a final kiss on the boy's forehead, "whatever happens, we are so proud of you."
Teddy wanted to apologize for the harsh words he had shared with his parents earlier, or at least thank them for coming to see him all these years, but couldn't find the words. Yet, from the smiles on their faces, he couldn't help but think that his parents already knew.
Teddy watched Remus and Tonks grasp hands and, with one last wave, they disappeared. Teddy stared into the darkness where his parents had just stood, and felt a sadness so raw and deep that he could no longer hold back tears. Ashamed, Teddy buried his face in his pillow, his entire body shaking with silent sobs.
"Lupin, Theodore!"
Teddy's legs felt like led as he dragged himself over to the stool where the Sorting Hat sat in front of the entire Great Hall. The walk felt as if it took ages, and Teddy was uncomfortably aware of hundreds of eager eyes following his progress.
When he finally got to the front, he sat down on the stool and the Sorting Hat fell over his eyes.
"Hmm... this is a tough one," said the Hat thoughtfully.
Gryffindor, I want to be in Gryffindor, Teddy thought.
"Gryffindor, eh? Yes, I can see the bravery there."
Or Hufflepuff! I want to be in Hufflepuff, too!
"Yes, yes, I detect kindness and patience as well..." The Hat paused. "Hmm. Like I said, a very difficult one indeed. There is much kindness and bravery, but more than anything, I see intelligence beyond your years so..."
"RAVENCLAW!" the Hat shouted to the Great Hall at large.
Trembling, Teddy took the Hat off and, amidst roaring cheers, blindly made his way toward the Ravenclaw table. He was vaguely aware of shaking hands and being clapped on the shoulder by various fellow Ravenclaws, but he felt far too overwhelmed to respond.
As he watched the rest of the sorting, he surprised himself by closing his eyes and taking comfort in the fact that he could almost see his parents beaming at one another.
"I always knew he's a smart boy," he heard his mother say, "he clearly gets that from you, Remus."
"Oh, I don't know, you've had a stroke of genius or two in your lifetime, love."
She snuggled up to Remus. "You know, I think Ravenclaw is a happy compromise, don't you?"
"The happiest."
Teddy couldn't help but grin in agreement.
Fin
A/N: Thanks for reading... please review and let me know what you think!