Disclaimer: …

Since that stupid little vicious plot-bunny wouldn't go away, I decided to try actually writing the story. It's a lighter KakaSaku which I think is a good contrast with BFM. While Bleed For Me was my first fanfic, ever, this will be my first attempt at humor. May God have mercy on your souls…

Cuffed

Chapter 1: Is it too late to chew my own arm off?

"So remind me again just how exactly we're supposed to get into the village?" a thoroughly frustrated Sakura asked quietly, albeit irately.

"Uh, walk in?" a slightly confused silver-haired man replied, not nearly as peeved as his partner.

The pink-haired medic almost had a heart-attack. "And risk being seen with you… like this?!?!" she practically screeched motioning downwards toward their current predicament.

Kakashi cringed at her volume and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Ah, I'm not that bad. Am I… Sakura-chan?" he teased knowing that the added chan to her name would piss her off more.

"THE HELL YOU AREN'T!!! Sakura screeched apparently forgetting that they were trying to avoid detection.

Kakashi sighed. Strangely enough the two of them were crouching in the foliage at the base of the wall surrounding their beloved Konoha. Honestly he just didn't see what the problem was; he could always just read Icha Icha with his other hand.

He heard an angry grunt coming from his right. He didn't even glance down when he heard her start yelling at him… again.

"You know this is all your fault!" She accused rather than asked.

Putting on his best fake innocent face, he said sweetly "My fault? I don't know what you're talking about."

Sakura made a noise that sounded like a cross between choking with disbelief and snorting at his blatant lie. "You're kidding right? I mean I know that disgusting porn has infected your brain and has caused you irreparable brain damage, but I seriously cannot believe that you don't see how this is entirely your fault." She retorted with a scoff.

Putting his left hand to his masked chin, he tried to remember just what had happened on their latest mission-gone-wrong.

"Kakashi?"

He heard a voice behind him. He turned to see his partner's pink head peek around the door into the room he had wandered into.

She walked in and sighed, whether in relief for finally have found him and not another enemy ninja, or in frustration that they were behind schedule and really should've left now that their target was successfully eliminated.

Knowing Sakura as well as he did, it was probably the latter.

"What are you doing in here anyway?" she questioned wiping her bloodied kunai on her medic skirt and placing it back into its holster.

Kakashi smirked a bit under the mask. He was sure she really didn't want to hear the answer so he just kept quiet.

They had been assigned a simple scroll retrieval/assassination mission over in the Land of Wind. Their target had been upsetting the local lords and so they had paid the two of them to sort of bump him off. Apparently the lords' wives had all been having an affair with their target who had used them to get his hands on a some special scroll or other and instead of settling the little marital issue they had simply sent shinobi after the guy. It had been easy work for the two of them as they had just infiltrated the man's rather large home and killed him swiftly and silently.

Sometime after the briefing Sakura had casually let slip her interest in why exactly the women would keep coming back to the man even though they knew that they were just being used. Now as an avid reader of Icha Icha, Kakashi had many ideas as to how exactly it was done, a few suggestions he had even enlightened Sakura with.

He was still nursing the rather large bump hidden under his mop of silver hair.

Although he had a few ideas of his own, her question had sparked his interest as well. The most logical being that the man employed the use of "unconventional" sexual practices which kept the women always coming back for more.

This little interest was one of the reasons why Kakashi currently found himself in the promiscuous man's bedroom digging through his nightstand drawer. In truth Kakashi wanted to know if the man had any Icha Icha volumes. It was just that he figured a man as promiscuous as that either read some form of "literature" for inspiration… or just knew Genma.

Sakura simply figured that he was looking for the scroll, but was still kinda peeved that he hadn't even bothered to answer her. Kakashi was glad for the misconception as he had actually found and pocketed the scroll a while back, leaving him free to pursue more dubious avenues of interest.

She leaned against the door frame, probably from lack of chakra. She had healed all her wounds and his as well and was probably not feeling up to much of anything right now other than getting back to Konoha.

Turning his attention as well as his body toward the drawer he was rummaging around in, under the false pretense of searching for the scroll, he heard Sakura huff and walk out into the hall.

Before he had a chance to let out a sigh of relief that she had not kept pestering him, she was back, and this time she was nowhere near as calm as she had been only moments before.

"Kakashi! We need to go! I can sense some ninja coming and if the murderous intent pouring off of them is any indication, I'd say they're probably not too friendly," she yelled in a hushed voice as though they didn't already know someone was here.

The whole time she had been talking, Kakashi had continued poking around in the drawer.

He had to make it look like he had found the scroll in the drawer or else never hear the end of Sakura's ranting about how he was wasting time and whatnot.

Suddenly he felt metal on his fingertips and with a snap something cold encircled his right wrist. Gasping in surprise he looked down to find out what was now attached to his wrist.

Sakura mistakenly taking the gasp of surprise for an "Ah ha!" of triumph, she walked over quickly. "Did you find it?" she asked grabbing his wrist to pull out his hand and supposedly the scroll out with it.

Snap.

They both stared down at the shiny, silver metal handcuffs now binding them together by the wrists.

"What the-?!?!" Sakura exclaimed, trying to break it. Not that Kakashi hadn't tried that immediately after discerning what it was. He just hadn't thought Sakura would actually walk over to help him. Maybe she really did care for him?

She tried to crush the metal cuff smashing his hand in the process.

Or maybe not…

"What did you do?" she accused him as though he did this deliberately. He had been about to say something in his defense when the sound of the ninja getting closer filled their ears.

Groaning, he said "We'll take care of this later, but we gotta go now!"

"But the scr-" she began but was cut off by Kakashi.

"Already got it! Now let's go!"

Thankfully she didn't take this time to reprimand him for withholding information. Neither of them had much chakra left as the man had had ninja guards practically leaking out the walls, as well as Sakura's healing, so both had realized it was best to leave without getting into another fight. Although they could probably pull a win out of their ass if they tried, they weren't going to risk it.

They took their leave out the window and using the cover of night as they couldn't mask their chakra at this point, they fled into the forest, back toward Konoha.

Kakashi rubbed the back of his head and laughed sheepishly.

Oops. It had been entirely his fault. Not that he was going to admit that to Sakura. She still didn't know why he had been in that drawer in the first place. She just needed someone to blame right now and he'd rather she suspect it was all his fault than for him to open his mouth and prove it.

Glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, he saw that she had given up trying to use her monstrous strength to break the handcuffs. Finally, he thought. They had tried everything to get out of them on the 6 hour journey back to Konoha ranging from chakra-enhanced poundings, unbinding jutsu and teleportation jutsu. Obviously nothing had worked.

Apparently, although they could still use jutsus and access their chakra, the handcuffs had some sort of strange binding jutsu on them that cancelled out all chakra and non-chakra attempts to escape. After calming down enough to properly examine them, Kakashi had found that they would only release when the proper jutsu was used on it. Unfortunately, as it seemed to be a custom item created by their target for less than honorable uses, he was the only one who knew how to release them. Vaguely Kakashi wondered if there was some sort of necro-information retrieval jutsu that he wasn't aware of because for some strange reason, their target just wasn't talking. It might have had something to do with the gigantic scorched hole right through his chest. Kakashi smirked a little despite the situation. Ah, good times…

"What are you smirking about?" Sakura snapped without even looking up.

"Who said I was smirking?" he asked a bit surprised because when he smirked his eye didn't crease like it did when he was smiling.

"Oh come on. I can just feel it," she retorted hotly.

Kakashi just left it at that. Maybe he had been spending too much time around the pink-haired medic if she could actually feel his expressions despite the mask's presence? Since Naruto and Sasuke had joined ANBU, it had mostly just been him and Sakura on missions. It had been that way for a year or two already. Strangely she hadn't gotten on his nerves yet… Eh, whatever. Now to focus on the issue at hand…

"Genjutsu?"

"What?" Sakura stared raising an eyebrow.

Sighing deeply he began, "That's how we can get in. If we cast a genjutsu on the guards we can make it look like no one's there. While normally this simple trick would never work on a Konoha gate guard as they are elite ninja, it's like 4 in the morning and so guard duty is usually forced onto unlucky chuunin. As a genjutsu type, if you cast it, I don't think they'll be able to even recognize it for what it is much less release it. So do we have a plan?"

Mulling it over for a second, she seemed to be weighing out the pros and cons of this course of action as she was numbering them off on her fingers. Apparently deciding that it was indeed the best plan they had if her determined nod was any indication, she looked up at him.

"Though it leaves much to be desired, it's as good a plan as any," she said somewhat put-out that she hadn't thought of it.

Nodding curtly he motioned for Sakura to jump up to the top of the wall with him. He grasped the edge as did Sakura and peeked over the edge. Taking note of the two guards, one on each side of the gate, he dropped back down to the ground.

Now that she knew where they were, trapping them would be child's play. As she began making the proper hand signs for the genjutsu she realized that while not making a fuss, Kakashi was getting a little irritated at the fact that his arm kept jerking back and forth along with Sakura's.

"Oops. Sorry," she grinned sheepishly.

He ignored her and started dragging her over to the entrance to make sure it had worked. Checking left and right for the guards, they both seemed to have fallen asleep. Almost rolling her eyes at the simplicity of it all, Sakura made a mental note to tell Tsunade that Konoha's guard was a little lax lately.

"And we're in," Kakashi said almost cheerfully.

Sakura would've sighed in relief but they were still freakin' chained together. A fact that still embarrassed her. Of all the people in the world to be handcuffed to, she got her goofy, chronically late, perverted former sensei. Don't get her wrong though, she knew he had his redeeming qualities, as she had found out in the past two years of their partnership, but at the moment, none came to mind.

As they slunk down the dark streets, they were careful to avoid the main road for obvious reasons. As they turned a corner however, Sakura ran smack into someone's chest. Falling backwards whether from the impact or from Kakashi yanking the chain so she was hidden behind him, she didn't know. While a part of her was almost offended for him hiding her like she was some bar skank he was embarrassed to be seen with, the part that hadn't gone completely stupid realized it was either this or be found out as she highly doubted she could pull off hiding Kakashi behind her back.

"Oh hey man! I didn't know you were back in the village," none other than the village play-boy Genma said, senbon in mouth, "Well let's not let a good night go to waste. There's a couple of women who've been waiting for me back at the bar. I bet I could hook ya up with one." Grinning lecherously as always he grabbed the hand that wasn't hidden behind Kakashi's back and tried to drag him off. When Kakashi resisted Genma prompted, "Aw come on. I know you're like as social as a homosexual turtle, but it's just a couple of drinks!"

Finally speaking up, almost wanting to hit his supposed best friend for that little comment, Kakashi protested, "Uh no thanks, I'm tired. I think I'll just head home now." And without waiting for a response, Kakashi turned around ushering a smirking Sakura forward so she wouldn't be seen.

And while she couldn't be sure, she swore she heard a mutter of 'whatever wanker. More for me' floating on the wind.

---

Heading down an alternate road now, they came to the place where they usually parted ways at the end of their missions. Unconsciously began walking down the road that led to their house and only stopped when the chain was suddenly pulled taut and dragged them back towards each other. Falling rather unceremoniously, she dragged Kakashi down with her.

Landing on her with a small oomph, he blinked and just stared up at the sky for a moment.

Face down in the dirt, Sakura grunted for him to get off of her. Complying, he rolled over once, not very far away but just enough to be off of her.

Kakashi cursed audibly.

Looking across the ground at him, she pouted.

"Well it's not like I meant to drag us down. God I'm sorry alright?"

Shaking his head, he said, "Not that."

"What then?" she asked curiously.

"Whose apartment?" he asked plainly.

"Whose apartment what?" she asked, kind of slow on the uptake that night.

"We have to sleep together. So whose apartment?" he stated almost like he was bored.

"WHAT?!?!" she yelled jumping straight up, half dragging Kakashi to his feet too. She was blushing furiously. Did he just? Sakura's mind was racing. Or rather short-circuiting.

Seeing her stark reaction, he realized she must have taken it the wrong way. So he tried rephrasing it. Pulling his wrist up so that the chain rattled in front of her face, he switched into his sensei voice and spoke slowly like he were talking to Naruto, "We're still stuck together so we'll have to stay at either your apartment or mine."

Breathing like a wounded wildebeest, Sakura waited until her breathing calmed down. Oh, is that all he meant? Hehe oops, Sakura berated herself.

"Well mine of course! I'm not going to inconvenience myself for your sake, especially when this is all-," she began but then stopped abruptly, groaning in realization.

"What is it now?" Kakashi asked slightly irritated that he had to spend even one more night away from his beloved Icha Icha collection at home. He wasn't stupid. He knew that if Sakura wanted them to stay at her apartment, no force on heaven or earth was going to stop her.

"Ino."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow in question.

Sighing, she explained, "We share an apartment."

"So?" the slightly anti-social man practically whined. He didn't find that a problem. Although Ino and Sakura couldn't really be considered girls anymore, not at 19, Kakashi didn't see them as anything more than his former student/partner/friend (sometimes depending on Sakura's mood) and Sakura's bossy, female-version of Naruto friend. He had no problem with the situation as he could resist all temptation despite their appearances because well, he wasn't Genma.

"Sooo," she stretched, "there's no way we can stay there! God, I thought you were supposed to be a genius? What the hell? Did I get the retarded prodigy or something. Geez. Anyway, if Ino saw me handcuffed to you, I would probably have to kill her in order to shut her up and be charged with murder, or she'll laugh herself to death and I'll be charged with murder then too. You get it now?"

Honestly? No. But he wasn't about to say that, especially after just being called a fake genius and a retard prodigy. Don't think that he was going soft or anything because if it had been anyone but Sakura, the last thing they would hear would be a loud chirping…

Tired already, he said quickly, "So my place then?"

Looking like she was thinking it over, like she really had a choice, she nodded slowly.

Not even waiting for her to stand back up, Kakashi dragged her off in the direction of his apartment, her muttering obscene things at the rude gesture underneath her breath.

This was going to be a long night…

---

A/N- eh it was supposed to be longer but I kinda got lazy.

I know handcuffing two characters together is kinda clichéd but I really wanted a kakasaku one but there weren't any, so I decided to make one. And honestly I have no idea where this is going so I guess I'll just wing it.

Well, as always leave a review as they encourage me to update faster.