To Love and Be Loved

Chapter 1: Making It Work

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the SVU characters.

A/N: I am insane, there's no other way to describe what's going on here. I've got so many other stories to work on and that I've promised you guys I would work on. But I started writing this about a week ago and then last night I managed to knock out the first four chapters. I don't even know what's going on in this story but it will be very dramatic at times. I had a lot of fun writing it so I hope you guys have a lot of fun reading it.

"I'm so exhausted," Olivia sighed as she pushed open the door of the apartment that she and Elliot shared. She dropped her bag on the end table closest to the door and collapsed on the couch. It had been a hellish day, chasing down leads in their latest case and coming up with only dead ends. Finally, Cragen had ordered them all to go home and get some rest. Olivia couldn't think of anything but burying herself in the warmth of the covers but the second her butt hit the couch, she knew there was no way she'd be getting up under her own power for at least two hours.

Elliot flopped down beside her "Me too," he attempted to stifle a yawn and failed miserably. He stretched his arms above his head "Wanna order a pizza?" he asked.

"I thought you were exhausted?" Olivia asked with a raise of her eyebrow and a small grin.

"And starving," Elliot amended, leaning even further into the cushions and closing his eyes "What a day," he murmured.

"You said it," Olivia agreed, reaching for the take out menu that they kept next to the phone. She looked at the fine print beneath the restaurant's logo "They close at eleven," she sighed in defeat; it was currently eleven thirty.

"I think we might have some left over pasta in the fridge," Elliot said, emitting a groan as he pulled his reluctant body into an upright position and went to investigate.

"Wasn't that from four nights ago?" Olivia asked skeptically "If there is any left, it's probably growing things."

Elliot let the refrigerator door fall closed and he leaned against it "Well it's not there anyway," he informed her "Nothing but orange juice, milk and beer."

Olivia through her head back and laughed humorlessly "Sounds delicious. When was the last time we had time to go grocery shopping?"

"Ages ago," Elliot sighed, throwing open the cabinet doors in search of some sort of sustenance. "Okay…" he said contemplatively "We have, a can of beans… a bag of chocolate chips… a box of crackers and a can of pineapple."

"When did we by chocolate chips?" Olivia asked, shifting her position on the couch so that she could watch Elliot's movements more closely. She had to admit that even though she was starving as well, Elliot's quest for dinner was a great source of amusement.

"I have no idea," Elliot answered her as he set the can of beans on the counter and moved on to the next cabinet. He opened it and laughed "We've got sugar packets," he said in triumph, removing the box and holding it high above his head as if it were the holy grail.

"Yay," Olivia muttered unenthusiastically from the couch.

Elliot closed the cabinet and, deciding that he would cook the beans and worry about the rest of this later, he reached for the electric can opener. He plugged it in and tried to use it but it didn't work. He groaned in frustration and banged his head against the counter.

"Are you okay?" Olivia asked as she pried herself from the couch and came into the kitchen to help him, only to find him leaning against the counter with his head buried in his hands.

"Can opener's broken," he mumbled in defeat "I'm too tired to deal with this."

Olivia rubbed his back "Me too," she whispered "Let's just go to bed and worry about this in the morning."

Elliot nodded and stood up, embracing Olivia as they made their way to the bedroom "We don't even have coffee," he said sleepily.

"I know," Olivia told him as she turned the covers down and slid in. She had used the last of the grounds that morning. "We'll get some tomorrow," she yawned, curling up on her side facing Elliot.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close "Promise?" he asked with a half smile as Olivia tucked her head into the crook of his neck.

"I promise," she whispered back as her eyes drifted closed "Good night Elliot."

"Good night Liv," he bent his head and kissed the crown of hers "I love you."

"Love you more," she replied, already starting to doze off.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia awoke the next morning to the sound of thunder. She looked out the window to see the gray gloom that hung over the city, punctuated every now and then by a bolt of lightening. She extracted herself from Elliot's sleeping form and padded into the bathroom to get ready for the day.

When she finished showering, she returned to the bedroom to find that Elliot was still sound asleep. She bent down and shook his shoulder lightly "Rise and shine," she smirked.

"But we don't have any coffee," he grumbled.

"Elliot Stabler," Olivia's attitude became one of feigned infuriation "If that's your only reason for getting out of bed in the morning than maybe I should just pack my things and leave right now."

Elliot rolled over and smiled sleepily at her, pulling her down onto the bed with him "It's too early," he complained as he slid his hand up her shirt and tickled her.

She laughed and kissed him before squirming out of his embrace "Get up already," she cajoled, grabbing one of his arms and using all of her might to drag him from his cotton cocoon.

"Okay, okay," he protested, struggling to stay on his feet. He managed to get his arm back from Olivia and used it to scoop her up into a hug. He kissed her deeply "I love you," he smiled.

Olivia laughed and pushed him away from her "I love you too but you have horrible morning breath. Don't kiss me again until you've brushed your teeth."

Elliot retreated into the bathroom with a phony expression of dejection on his face. The first thing he did when he emerge twenty minutes later was to go into the kitchen, where Olivia was spreading the remains of a jar of peanut butter on the crackers that Elliot had found the night before for breakfast, and swoop her up into another hug ending in another passionate kiss "Better?" he enquired when he set her down.

Olivia smiled approvingly "Much," she handed him a plate of crackers "Eat up," she instructed, turning and pulling the orange juice from the refrigerator.

Elliot set his plate on the table and was about to sit down when the phone that hung on the kitchen wall began to ring. He crossed the space in two short strides and answered it "Yes," he began but stopped short at the voice on the other end.

"Good, you're home," it was Kathy "Do you know what Dickie did?" from the tone in her voice, Elliot could tell that it wasn't good.

"Kathy…" Elliot sighed "I can't talk about this right n—"

"Oh, you don't have to talk," Kathy cut him off "You just have to listen."

Olivia lay the cracker she had been buttering down on the plate and let the knife, which still had peanut butter on it, fall to the counter as she listened intently; Kathy was speaking so loudly that Olivia could hear it from where she stood.

"He punched another boy outside school yesterday afternoon. The kid is in the hospital. His parents are thinking of pressing charges. This is all your fault Elliot!" she yelled.

"Kathy—"

"Don't you Kathy me!" she screamed "You come talk to him today."

"I have to work," Elliot protested meekly.

"Find the time!" Kathy screamed again, even more infuriated than before "I can't believe you can't pull yourself away from your job or your slutty partner to talk some sense into your sun."

"Now that's enough," Elliot slammed his hand on the counter. He could tell without looking that Olivia had heard and that her expression was now one of shock and hurt; Kathy hadn't ever gotten along with Olivia but she had never referred to her in those terms before in the three months that he had been living with her. Kathy had been moody lately and Elliot had been willing to chalk it up to pregnancy hormones but her personal attack on Olivia was something he was not going to let go so easily.

"I'm sorry," Kathy's voice returned to a more normal level, so low in fact that Olivia could no longer hear her from where she stood, not that she wanted to. "That was out of line, it's just… the police already took one of my children away, I can't take losing another one."

"You never lost Kathleen," Elliot reminded her softly. He cleared his throat "I'll find some time this afternoon to talk to Dickie."

"Thanks El," Kathy said resignedly before hanging up the phone without so much as a goodbye.

Elliot turned to Olivia and closed the distance between them, wrapping her in a tight hug and burying his face in her hair "She didn't mean it," he told her as he ran a hand down her back.

"I know," Olivia responded, her voice muffled by the fabric of Elliot's shirt. She pulled away from Elliot and picked the knife up off the counter and went back to making her breakfast "Do you think they'll really press charges?" she asked as means of making conversation.

"I don't know," Elliot said, still standing behind her "Kathy said the kid was in the hospital but that could mean any number of things. Maybe I can find some time after I talk to Dickie to go talk to the other kid's parents."

"I bet if you explain the situation to Cragen, he'll let you take an hour or so," Olivia picked up her plate and carried it to the table, dropping the peanut butter covered knife idly in the sink as she went. She set her plate across from Elliot's and sat down. "I'm sure his parents are reasonable people. If Dickie apologizes it'll probably be fine."

"I don't know," Elliot rubbed his hand over his face as he took his own seat and lifted one of the peanut butter laden crackers to his lips "The older Dickie gets, the less the 'boys will be boys' excuse holds water."

Olivia nodded and chewed her meal contemplatively. It wasn't until she had swallowed her first cracker that she remembered that the orange juice was still sitting on the counter. She quickly jumped up and poured two glasses "Sorry," she said as she placed Elliot's glass in front of him "You can just pretend it's coffee until we get a chance to go to Starbucks."

Elliot laughed and shot her a smile, reaching up and grabbing her hand, bringing it to his lips "Thanks," he released her gently and she returned to her seat. "You know Liv," he added jokingly "You make the best damn peanut butter crackers I ever ate."

"Well," Olivia smirked "If you pick up some jelly at the store today, I'll make you a breakfast that'll rock your world." The two of them burst into laughter, pure, loud, unburdened laughter.

When they finished Elliot placed their dishes in the sink, alongside the many others that had accumulated there over the past few days. In the back of his mind he added "wash dishes" to the list of things that needed to be done when he got a chance.

Olivia grabbed her bag from where she had left it the night before and went to the closet to grab their rain coats. She handed Elliot his coat before she pulled hers on "It's really coming down hard," she remarked, taking one last glance out the window before exiting the apartment.

"This whether sucks," Elliot muttered when they had reached the ground floor of the building and had stepped out onto the street only to discover that their rain coats did not provide them any sort of protection at all from the pelting rain and furious winds.

"Cheer up," Olivia told him playfully, grabbing his hand "It's not so bad. It could be worse."

"Don't say that," Elliot told her quickly.

"Hmm?" Olivia asked.

"Never say 'it could be worse' because that's usually when things get worse," Elliot clarified.

"That's only in movies and on TV," she laughed, releasing his hand and walking ahead of him a few steps "You'll be a lot more optimistic once we get some coffee in you."

Elliot shrugged and followed after her. When they reached Starbucks, they pushed through the doors, glad to be out of the rain; after walking three blocks in the deluge, even Olivia's attempts to stay positive about the morning were starting to fail.

The line wasn't very long and they got their coffee pretty quickly. Neither of them wanted to head back out into the rain so soon however so after checking her watch to ensure that they wouldn't be late, Olivia sat down at a table "This is kinda nice," she smiled softly as Elliot sat down across from her.

Elliot took an enormous gulp of coffee before setting the cup on the table "Yeah," he mused. At that moment, he wondered if there was something to Olivia's theory about the caffeine cheering him up.

Olivia smiled, setting her cup on the table and moving the stirrer back and forth absently "I like it when it's just us," she observed.

Elliot chuckled and looked pointedly around the slowly filling coffee shop "It looks like it's not just us here," he smiled.

"You know what I mean," Olivia couldn't help grinning at him.

"Yeah," Elliot said, reaching across the table and covering her hand with his "I like it too."

Olivia flipped her hand over palm up and laced her fingers with his, squeezing gently "I love you so much," she whispered, unable to keep her eyes from misting over.

"I love you too," he whispered back reassuringly, leaning forward and kissing her tenderly "You know that right?"

She withdrew her hand and looked down into the dark depths of her coffee cup "Yeah," she gave an imperceptible nod "I know." There were so many things that she wanted to say in that moment but she knew that it was neither the time nor the place. She loved him and she knew he loved her but she felt guilty for every moment. It wasn't right that Kathy was pregnant with his child and Elliot had chosen to be with Olivia. She hated herself for it most days and the more she tried to ignore it and allow herself to be happy with Elliot, the more it hurt when she was reminded of the whole mess all over again.

When Kathy had called earlier that morning screaming and yelling Olivia just wanted to run from the kitchen, go somewhere where she didn't have to hear the mess that she had caused. She wished that there was some way that she and Elliot could be together without any complications but that didn't seem like a possibility.

"Hey," Elliot said gently, reaching up and stroking her cheek, effectively pulling her back into the moment "You okay?" he asked softly.

Olivia nodded and looked down at her watch "We should get going or Cragen will be chewing our asses out from now until Christmas after next." She got up from the table and, tipping back the last of her by now cold coffee, tossed the empty cup in the trash can.

Elliot got up quickly and followed her, placing a hand on her shoulder "Hey," he said soothingly "What's up? Does this have to do with what Kathy said?" he asked, knowing that it was almost definitely related to that.

She turned to him and wrapped her arms around him "I love you," she whispered "I'll do anything to make this work."

Elliot returned the hug "I love you too," he replied, kissing her lips softly "Don't worry, this whole thing with Kathy… it's… it's just a rough patch."

Olivia nodded and pulled away from him "Let's go," she said, forcing a smile.

Elliot followed her out of the Starbucks and back into the rain. They made their way to the parking garage where they rented a parking space. When he got to the driver's side door, Elliot reached into his pocket for the keys "Shit!" he hissed loudly.

"What's wrong?" Olivia asked quickly, meeting his gaze over the roof of the car.

"I must have dropped the keys," he explained beginning to walk away from the car, his eyes scanning the floor of the parking garage.

Olivia reached into her pocket and dangled the keys in the air "It's okay, I have them."

Elliot came back over to her and kissed her as he took the keys from her hands "You're a lifesaver," he smiled softly as he went back around to the driver's side and unlocked the car.

Olivia pulled open her door and slid into the car beside him "Just remember that this afternoon when my paperwork decides to find its way onto your desk."

Elliot laughed "That's not happening," he said with so much certainty behind his words that Olivia couldn't help herself.

"And why not?" she asked, her own laughter loud and clear, intermingling with his in the space between them.

"Because you love me too much to torture me that way," he told her.

She shot him a wicked grin "Maybe it's because I love you that I choose to torture you?" she suggested.

He laughed "You are one cruel woman," he pulled into a parking space "You can try putting all that paperwork on my desk, whether it gets done or not… well we'll just see about that."

"Oh yes," Olivia grinned as she got out of the car "It'll get done," she came around the car and stood next to him "You'll do it or I'll find some other man to sleep with tonight."

Elliot threw his hands in the air "Cruel!" he protested "Absolutely cruel!"

Olivia leaned in and kissed him "Just kidding," she smirked playfully "Besides," she added, pulling away "You have to talk to Dickie this afternoon."

Elliot nodded; he could already feel Kathy's cold stare following him and he hadn't even set foot in the house yet. At that moment, he would have done the paperwork for the entire unit if there was even the slightest chance that he could escape his fate.

Olivia slapped him lightly on the shoulder "Come on," she said with a small smile "We should get in there or all of Munch and Fin's paperwork will be on both of our desks while they're out on the streets chasing down our leads."

Elliot nodded and followed Olivia into the precinct.

A/N: I hope you liked the first chapter. The real drama begins next chapter so review and I'll try to post again soon.