Surely I'm not the only one who saw this in 'The Mark of the Rani'.

"Okay," Theta said, once everyone had calmed down, "what we need to do is get back to Rose's time machine. I need to bring Rose to her friend." They were standing in a group, leaning against the burnished copper dome of the hangar.

"Why did you even bring her to Gallifrey anyway?" Ushas asked.

"Ushas-" he began.

She looked down. "All right. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have gotten so angry at you. After all, you've been brainwashed by the pompous idiots running this place."

She slapped him, hard. "Theta, you condescending idiot-"

And then he kissed her.

And Rose sat down suddenly, the planet spinning around her. Is this the feeling the Doctor was always going on about? she thought disjointedly. Ushas was kissing him back. She was so beautiful and intelligent. At that moment, Rose felt like strangling her.

"Oh, yuk," Ruath commented disgustedly.

For some reason, Rose's eyes rested on Koshei. He was looking rather like she felt, his dark eyes seething with jealousy and something else she couldn't identify. His left hand was restlessly drumming out a beat on the curving metal wall.

Theta broke away. "Come on," he said sharply, and ran to the hangar door, the others trailing behind in shock. He opened it quickly with his sonic screwdriver, and they quietly crept into the hangar. Rose looked at Ushas. She had a strange expression of delight and discontent together. Rose glanced away quickly, and looked at Theta again. He was the Doctor, she knew that; and yet he was so different. Most of the time he seemed to act like an eccentric college student, nothing like the amazing and sometimes frightening man she knew.

She wondered how his relationship with Ushas had gone. Eight hundred and fifteen years was certainly long enough to date, get married, have kids, even grandkids. She muffled a laugh as she imagined the Doctor as a grandfather. That was just plain preposterous.

They snuck around tall Greek pillars, small pyramids, Italian restaurants and even, Rose could ave sworn, a car. The police box was sitting amid a cluster of... Rose felt her eyes grow wide... inflatable giraffes?

This is sosurreal, she thought.

They reached the TARDIS, and Rose felt a strange humming coming from the ship. She could hear faint, far-off alien singing, and frowned, trying to locate the sound. So intent was she upon it that she tripped over the TARDIS doorstep and fell with an "oomph".

Theta leaned over her, concerned. He reached out his hand to help her up. She grabbed at it without thinking, hearing his voice saying, "Don't. Touch. The baby!" right before their fingers made contact. The singing soared in her ears, drowning out everything else, and she sank to her knees, dizzy.

That's the first time we touched,she thought. But then that thought vanished as her senses widened and spread. The universe was vast and beautiful and golden, and all hers. She was soaring over sun-baked planets, surfing the waves of a supernova... "Rose. Rose, can you hear me? Rose. Come back." She pushed the tiny, insignificant voice away, and dived to the bottom of an ocean crevasse. "Rose. Listen to me." And suddenly she could see him. Not just his face, sharp and concerned, but the rest of him.. his timelines stretching out and around and all over the place, tangled like yarn... "Rose." And suddenly it resolved itself into a pattern, a spiderweb of breathtaking beauty... "Rose." Reluctantly, she let herself be pulled back into her metal shell, leaving the human girl.

Rose blinked. "Did I black out or something?" Theta's face swam into focus. He was bent over her, his long fingers lightly touching her forehead. He sat back, looking worried. Rose sat up. "What just happened?"

Theta shook his head. "Don't worry about it." He stood up, and she became aware that they were around the console. Ruath was touching the controls, a confused look on her face. She glanced up.

"Theta, this ship... it's a TARDIS."

Theta sighed, taking a deep breath. "Well, yes, Ruath, so it is. Now please forget all about it and help me reverse the coordinate matrix."

She opened her mouth like she wanted to protest some more, but he shushed her and went to the screen. Rose got to her feet shakily. She still wasn't quite sure what had happened, but she was willing to concentrate on other things at the moment. Like... "Where did everybody go?"

"They bailed," Ruath said disgustedly.

"But... you didn't?"

"He's not getting rid of me that easily," Ruath said, elbowing Theta. They grinned at each other, best of friends.

"Although," Theta said, frowning, "you are going to leave as soon as we get this working."

"Oh, all right," she said. "As long as you tell me everything that happens when you get back."

"Agreed." He grinned. He grins even more than my Doctor, and looks just as daft when he does it, Rose thought. Then Ruath left, waving, and Theta pulled up a lever. The sound of dematerialization filled the console room as the familiar shaking began. Then it stopped. "We're in the Vortex," Theta remarked. "I haven't looked after this thing well, has it? Gives a bit of a rough ride."

Rose blinked again. "What?"

"Oh, come on. It was obvious, the look on your face when I told you my nickname. I go by that now, do I? Which seems to follow that I actually got my doctorate, which is a relief, I can tell you."

She backed away. "I never said-"

"Look, you've been screaming it, anyone with the most low-level telepathic field would have picked it up, and I happen to be rather sensitive in that area."

She swallowed. "You- you've been reading my- my mind?" Oh, God, maybe he's been reading my mind that whole year! She felt herself flush red with embarrassment and disbelief.

Theta shrugged. Then his eyes brightened. "Tell me, what am I like, this future me?"

Fighting down the urge to cry, she spit, "For one thing, he's worth ten of you!"

Confusement in those beautiful blue eyes. "Why, are you offended?"

Memory came back, unwillingly. "Your machine gets inside my mind- it gets inside and it changes things, and you didn't even think to ask?"

"Well, I didn't think about it like that."

"If you're offended- I mean, I won't do it again, then. I mean, I'm actually a lot nicer than most of my friends. They all think I'm really weird," he said with a self-deprecating laugh.

What, even Ushas? Rose thought acidly.

"I mean, I believed in the Toclaphane, Grandfather Paradox and Bad Wolf until I was fifty-"

"What?" she interrupted him. The singing was coming back, but even it was drowned out by the disbelief in her mind.

"I said-"

"You said Bad Wolf. What the hell is Bad Wolf? Tell me!" she screamed.

He took a step backward. "Well, the legend goes that a TARDIS takes on human form in order to save her Time Lord- it's just a myth, TARDISes aren't sentient, but it's still a pretty romantic story. All Gallifreyan children know it- it's just a myth-"

Singing, and power that went on forever.

Theta watched in horror as Rose walked to the console, her eyes seeing something else."Open," she said in a voice of command. "Open, and we will save him." The TARDIS opened, and light burst forth. Theta looked away quickly.

"Rose!" he yelled. "Stop! You can't!"

She turned to him, and her eyes burned golden. "I am the Bad Wolf," she said."I can do anything."

And the TARDIS started to materialize.

Give thanks to the great 'The-Chibi's-Are-Chasing-Me' or whatever her name is for making me write another chapter. Finally, we're getting down to business.