Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto
Author's Notes: Hi again. Here's another angst fic from me. It's in Sasuke's POV again. I have an idea about a sequel that's in Sakura's POV but that depends upon the reaction people get to this fic. I hate that the title's too corny so if anyone has some ideas for the title, just tell me. Anyway, please read and review. I hope you'll enjoy this one. Thank you.
MONSTERS
Sometimes, when he looks at her, he can't help but think about how much of a monster she has become – a monster that he created. He knows that his betrayal had been the catalyst which spurned the monster into this world. But he wonders sometimes if this is true – if his departure really was the start of it all or if it was simply the final nail that closed the coffin. Perhaps he had set the events into motion earlier than he thought, much earlier than his departure. Perhaps he set them into motion the first time he called her annoying. And he thinks that perhaps this is more accurate.
He finds it ironic that the lovesick thirteen-year old girl who had 'nothing to offer' actually had more to offer than the accomplished twenty-year old medic nin who had 'everything to offer'. The twenty-year old could only look at him with pity laced with righteous anger whereas the thirteen-year old could look at him eyes full of adoration. The twenty-year old worked double shifts at the hospital and didn't have time for him whereas the thirteen-year old spent hours for unsolicited stalking. The twenty-year old wouldn't even consider giving him the satisfaction of being able to save her whereas the thirteen year old continually stroked his ego by constantly needing saving.
Yes, this monster doesn't need saving. Her awe-inspiring medic skills and her fearsome fists made sure that she'd never need saving ever again. They also made him feel unnecessary – like his dad used to. At least the thirteen-year old made him feel useful, needed… she made him feel like he was the best and made him forget that there was an Itachi who was always ten steps ahead.
Sometimes he just hates her.
He hates the expectant look she gives him right after she does something great – that look telling him to laud her for her greatness. And when he doesn't comply, she doesn't even bat an eyelash. It's like she doesn't care that he was not impressed (though, he was… but not that he'd ever tell). The thirteen-year old would have had tears brimming in her eyes before he could even reach the second syllable of the word 'annoying'. And he hates that she could just shrug off his indifference off and turn instead to the Dobe who's already showering her with bucket-loads of praise and compliments. He hates that she no longer seems to need his acknowledgment because she already got it from everyone else – after all, of what use is a traitor's approval anyway, even if it did mean the world to her just seven years before.
He hates the apologetic look she gives him when she goes off to heal the others first. Sure, they're much closer to death than he is but still, the thirteen-year old would've never done that. The medic prioritizes an unnamed ANBU teammate's stab wound on the chest over the traitor's dislocated knee. But to the thirteen-year old, a scratch on his shin deserved more attention than a kunai lodged in the Hokage's heart. He doesn't like it when she's all rational and professional. It irks him to see her prioritizing others when she used to be completely devoted to him.
He hates the inquisitive look she gives him when she sees the dark circles under his eyes during their morning practice. It irks him to know that she notices and she asks but when he won't answer, she won't pursue. The thirteen-year old would've pestered him until he folded thus indicating that she cared too much. But this medic, she just had more to worry about than why he had circles under his eyes. After all, who cares if the traitor couldn't sleep because of nightmares… who cares if he had a fever and had nothing to eat, she was going to be promoted soon anyway and she still didn't know what to wear for the event. He doesn't even care that she doesn't pester him for details because she probably thinks that he'll talk when he's ready. All he knows is that she's wrong and that he hates her.
He hates that the thirteen-year old 'him' would have thought that this Sakura was perfect and that the twenty-one year old 'him' thinks that she's a monster. It's sick and twisted and so unfair – but then he realizes that that's just life.
He doesn't regret – no, he has learned long ago that it's foolish to regret, the only thing you really can do is to learn from the past and move on towards the future – even if the future is bleak and contains only bloodshed and pain and disappointment. He learned not to regret the death of his clan and to simply use all that pain and channel it into anger and then channel all that hate into training.
So that's what he'll do now – move forward towards a goal. He would 'fix' her no matter what. He created her so he could destroy her. He would destroy that monster and he knows exactly how to.
So he opens his mother's jewelry box and takes out the ring that would be the catalyst of the monster's destruction. He traces his finger over the beautifully engraved Uchiha emblem on the ring's surface and thinks about how good it will look on her… of how fitting it is… of how binding it is…
He knows that she won't see through his plans. He knows that she will believe his motives are pure. He knows that she will say yes. He knows that she will accept him and his proposal. There's still something of that thirteen-year old in her. Not much… but still enough to want to help him... still enough to make her think that he can't take another letdown... still enough to love him. After all, she may be a monster, but he's still more of a monster than she can ever be.
FIN
A/N: Yes, I know I said I was gonna continue this but I lost interest. sorry... sorry... sorry... I just don't know how to continue it anymore when another idea's brewing. It's harder for me to continue something than it is for me to start so... yeah. sorry.