CHAPTER 20/ IN WHICH JAMES IS NOT A PANCAKE

Thanks again, Moony.

I told you, you did the hardest part, I only went to tell her to listen to you.

And what did Padfoot do? He didn't go and talk to her and bloody tell her he loved her, no, he had to charm the whole common room so that it had little brooms and hearts flying everywhere, and the walls had 'I love you Venus' written on them, and there were even bubbles of bloody Firewhiskey all around and rock music and it was bloody awesome!

Well, you know Sirius never takes the easy way.

You're just jealous because you weren't original with Lily, you just said 'I love you Lily' and kissed her and got your happy sappy ending. I made a party out of it!

And it was amazing.

Hey, stop reading our notes, you!

James lets me read them and write. I like sitting next to James.

James is so great.

Prongs, we recognized your handwriting!

Oh, you're no fun.

Here you go, now James is pouting.

For a change.

I like it when he's pouting though, he looks cute.

Yes, it fits his face.

I know just how sexy I look.

Now you just look arrogant.

Anyway… Padfoot, are you still there?

You know how he is, he's not that interested when the conversation revolves around someone else than him.

You're wrong! I take great interest in Prongs's person!

Yeah right.

Alright, I admit I am a selfish git.

I'll keep that piece of parchment for the record.

Anyway, what are we doing tonight? Up to some mischief, Prongs?

Not tonight, I've got things to do.

What things?

I just need to organize my homework schedule for next week.

A part of me just died.

It will do both of you good.

Organize, Prongs? As in sitting for hours doing pointless stuff like Moony does, while you could be pranking someone or playing Quidditch?

Yes.

Hello? Where has James Potter gone?

Maybe it's actually Moony who took Polyjuice Potion and looks like Prongs.

I'm here too, so I can't be Prongs.

Unless Prongs is in Moony's body...

Exactly.

We need to make sure of it, Wormtail. We should ask them personal questions.

Oh, Merlin...

I do not like the sound of this. I repeat, I do NOT like the sound of this!

Prongs, what is the ridiculous nickname your mother gives you?

I'm not answering that.

But then how can we make sure you're Prongs and not Moony?

I am NOT answering that. Period.

You have to, Prongs. You need to clear our doubts.

Remus, help me.

I'm sorry. You know how Sirius is. He won't leave you alone.

Come on, Padfoot! I'm your best pal!

What is the ridiculous nickname your mother gives you?

Pancake.

I cannot stop laughing. Every time it's the same. I can't barely restrain myself from sniggering every time your mother says it.

You all laughed! Even Moony! I've never felt more embarrassed in my life.

Excuse me, but... Pancake?

It makes me hungry.

Don't look at me like that, Peter. I'm not a pancake.

Are you quite sure?

Yes, Peter, I am QUITE positive I am NOT a pancake.

That's a shame.

I am a human being.

And a stag.

And a 'bullying toe-rag', in Evans's own words.

And... a pancake.

For the umpteenth time, I am not a pancake.

What's this discussion about pancakes? And why do you all say that James is a pancake?

I AM NOT A PANCAKE!

Calm down, Prongs, she wasn't calling you a pancake.

She was! She was! Oh, Lily how can you do this to me?

You're mad. Sirius, why did you have to contaminate my boyfriend?

Well I'd rather be mad like me than a pancake like Prongs.

I'd rather be both.

Remus, help me, I fear for my sanity.

You should prepare yourself for this if you want to stick with James. Remember you'll always have Sirius around.

Oh, Merlin.

Come on, Lily! I'm not so bad! At least I am not a pancake.

If you ever call me a pancake again I'm going to castrate you.

No! Anything but that! You can cut any part of my body but not this! It's the most useful.

You're disgusting. And annoying. You started that pancake thing, Sirius, didn't you?

Yes.

Don't smile stupidly like you're proud of the stupid things you do.

You're mistaken, Lily, it's my charming smile.

Is it? I had not noticed.

Good one, Lily.

Thank you.

Aww, Padfoot is crying now! And I am oh-so-inclined to sympathise.

Shut up, you pancake.

This is it. After several threats, the time for Padfoot's Castration has now come.

You're not going to do it.

As much as I hate to admit it, I wouldn't let him do it anyway.

Ha!

I just liked the scared look on your face.

I knew you weren't going to do it.

And why wouldn't I do it?

Because you're just a pancake.

¤ author's note ¤ There it was, the last chapter. Excuse me for the randomness of the pancake :) (and yes James, we know you're not a pancake).

Now please do me a favour and click on the submit review button! I always love it when you point out your favourite lines. Thank you very much.