07th aug. A/N: Apparently many people think this story would contain a heterosexual Draco Malfoy, because of the summary. But would I post it in the HP/DM section, if that would happen? NO! Let's see what the new summary will bring.
This had been the old summary: The war is over and Draco needs to go to Hogwarts for his last year without the Golden Boy. His secret love died and he suffers deep depression, but nothing is at it seems and Draco wonders if he maybe isn't gay.

'Where's my Dragon?' isn't yet forgotten and I already post another story. Ha, if Mister Santa Claus isn't generous with me this year, I really don't know what I've done wrong.

This was supposed to become an OneShot and, well, went a bit out of my hands. It's not completely written yet, but I hope to bring it to an end in five chapters, maybe six. But you won't be angry with me about getting more to read, will you?
I've no idea where the idea came from, but the plot-bunny jumped at me when I revarnished my bike.

I think I don't need to say anything about the settings, everything will be explained in the story.
Pairings will be: Harry Potter(uke)/Draco Malfoy(seme) --- Pansy Parkinson/Theodore Nott (but nothing graphic there) --- Remus Lupin/Severus Snape (but only shortly mentioned)

Warnings: none so far, I think, hurm...

Anything else? Oh, yeah, this is NOT Deathly Hollows compatible, I didn't even read the book yet.

As always, I would be really happy about some reviews. Constructive criticism will be acknowledged, but you don't need to mention my horrible grammar mistakes. I know there are too many. Flames will be either laughed at, cried about or not noticed at all, but definitely deleted.
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BETA: IBelieveInMaryWorth

Kudos & Curtsey

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AND THE SEVENTH BEGAN … 1/5

Six years had passed already and the seventh began right at this horrible moment. Draco Malfoy sat at the Slytherin table next to Pansy Parkinson and stared into empty air with painfully old grey eyes.

The war was over.

The final battle had been fought at the end of sixth year and Voldemort had finally been killed, hopefully for ever this time. But he was not the only one to fall; there had been many other dead men and women as well.

Lucius Malfoy was gone, although it hadn't been that shocking to Draco and he hadn't felt the grief a son should feel for his dead father. He viewed it with a practical eye – that bastard was gone too. His personal tormentor was finally dead and couldn't try to form him into another Lucius any more.

Dumbledore hadn't survived and Minerva McGonagall had replaced him, or at least she had tried. But all of those people and the many other victims meant nothing to Draco.

Indescribable pain and sorrow led into deep depression because the hero himself, Harry Potter, had sacrificed his life for the sake of others. And he had left Draco alone on this god damned planet.

Not that they had been a couple or anything close to it. They had been nothing to each other. Not foes anymore, nor friends and especially not a couple.

Draco's feelings towards Harry had been, and still were, a secret. Only two people knew now; when he had heard that Harry wouldn't be coming back to him he broke down, not caring that his mother and Pansy were around. Both had been secretly on the light side and already knew that he was gay, so he knew that they wouldn't have had a problem with Draco's choice if the boy had still been alive. They comforted him lovingly and he knew that his collapse had strengthened their love and trust for each other even more.

Draco remembered the night before Harry had left to destroy Voldemort. He remembered everything so clearly and in so much detail no matter how hard he had tried forget. In many different ways.

He had followed the Golden Boy all day and had waited for the right moment, but he had always been surrounded by too many people. People who hated everything about the Malfoys.

After dinner he had used the opportunity that had been given to him. Harry had left the hall alone and he had followed. The boy who would kill the monster had stood outside on the shore and watched the sun vanish behind the lake. Draco had gone closer and stopped next to Harry.

He hadn't asked with hatred what 'the Malfoy git' wanted. He just stood there, stared out onto the lake and sighed once in a while.

Draco had gathered all of the courage he could find in himself as a Slytherin and had taken Harry's hand in his own. The Gryffindor's gasp and stare at their entwined hands had been conspicuous.

"Malfoy, what…"

Draco had pulled him closer and had kissed him with so much passion and love that Harry hadn't even thought about pushing him away. He had broken the kiss and brushed strands of hair out of Harry's face.

"Promise me you'll come back. I love you."

He had placed another short kiss on Harry's sweet-tasting lips, let go of his hand and had dashed away without waiting for a response.

The next day Harry had left before breakfast and Draco never saw him again.

That had been ninety-three days ago.

Draco looked at his watch… ninety-two days, twenty-one hours and thirty-seven minutes. He couldn't explain to himself how he had managed to survive those days without attempting suicide or going mental. And he definitely didn't know how he could survive his seventh year at Hogwarts when everything reminded him of a certain specs-wearing-Gryffindor with the most gorgeous eyes he had ever seen.

It was only because of his mother's pleading and begging that he now sat at Slytherin table at the start-of-term feast and had to play the ice-cold Slytherin Prince he wasn't anymore.

"Draco?"

The blond turned his head and gazed at Pansy with empty eyes.

"Oh, Drae, you're at it again, aren't you? How long are you going to mourn? He won't come back, even if you look like seven days full of rain."

Her hand caressed over his back in soothing circles.

"It's more bearable."

The new headmistress stood up and the whole hall fell silent. Draco looked up at the staff table and Pansy understood he wasn't in the mood to talk about his pain.

"Good evening, dear students and teachers. This year will be a lot like the ones before, but much will change as well. I don't want to mention the loss of Harry Potter and Professor Albus Dumbledore and the twenty other students with many words, because the wounds are still too fresh. But I hope you remember them all equally and with the appropriate respect.
Some of you may have seen already that the staff decided to erect a memorial in honour of all those heroic wizards and witches that gave their lives so that we can live in a brighter time."

Draco remembered that he had seen it when he had entered the castle. At the left side of the stairs to the first floor was a pillar with the list of names engraved on it. It was simple and plain; he loved it.

And Harry's initials were the first in the first line. Every name was fully mentioned except his and Draco knew it was exactly how Harry would've liked it. He had hated his name being in the public eye and that wouldn't change after death.

'HJP'

"I want you to know," the Headmistress went on, and Draco noticed for the first time that she looked exhausted. But who wouldn't look that way if they had suddenly become Headmistress under such tragic circumstances. "…that I won't be teaching Transfiguration this year. Professor Nymphadora Tonks will be your new teacher. She's out with the first years at the moment, but please welcome her warmly in her first lesson. And Professor Remus Lupin has returned to Hogwarts to become our Defence Against The Dark Arts teacher again."

The werewolf stood up to greet the students and the applause was sign enough that the students had missed him dearly.

Draco on the other hand looked at his godfather, Severus Snape, and gave him a half hearted smile. He knew that there was just one reason why Lupin had accepted the 'DADA' position, a reason called 'Severus'.

Before the war they had felt nothing but contempt towards each other, but the war had opened their eyes. They had realised that they had only suppressed their true feelings and that, in reality, they loved each other deeply. Now they were bonded and Draco had a new uncle. If the love Remus gave him was comparable to that he had given Harry, it was a wonder Harry hadn't died before from loving suffocation.

Harry came back into his mind and he wished it could have been the same with them. Maybe Harry would have decided against a confrontation with Voldemort if he had known that he would leave his true love, Draco, alone. But nothing was like one wished and whether Harry had loved Draco back was doubtful.

The great doors opened and Draco snapped out of his thoughts, noticing that he had zoned out for quite a while.

Professor Tonks walked in with the first years and an older girl by her side. Draco's heart missed a beat when he saw her and he couldn't turn his eyes away from her. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. She was rather tall for a girl, he supposed about 1.80m, but who cares? He was 1.90m after all. Her brown hair was long and curly and her eyes were a shining ocean blue. If Harry had had blue eyes, they would've been like those, Draco thought.

And his heart hurt. How could he think about a girl and neglect his grief for Harry? He couldn't start to like a girl, no way. He was gay, first of all. And most importantly, he loved Harry and always would.

But this girl… he couldn't put his finger on it, not yet. But this girl had an aura that drew him automatically closer. He needed to get to know her.

Professor Tonks stopped in the front of the hall and the headmistress stood up again and gave the girl a sign to come up to her.

"Before we begin with our traditional sorting," Professor McGonagall said "I would like to introduce a new student. This is Heraldine Winter. She'll be in seventh year at Hogwarts. She was home schooled until now but sadly her parents died in the war and she's now here to graduate. I hope you'll welcome her warmly and help her with everything she needs to know. We have already sorted her and her house will be Slytherin."

The Slytherin table welcomed her with applause and, with a wave of McGonagall's wand, her tie changed to her new house colours and the Slytherin crest appeared on her white blouse and her cloak.

The girl looked coyly up and down the table for a seat, not wanting to sit alone between first years. Draco, who had watched her all the time, noticed and shoved Pansy along so that there was enough space between her and him for Heraldine. He looked again at her and smiled warmly when their eyes met. She went down the stairs and straight to Draco.

"Hi, eurm, may I?" she pointed at the empty seat and looked at Draco with shy eyes.

"Of course, sit down."

"Hello, I'm Heraldine Lilly Winter. But please call me just Lilly or Lil, because I can't stand my first name." The girl said when she sat next to Draco.

Yes, he was sure; this girl was someone he should befriend.

"I'm Draconis Lucius Malfoy, but everyone calls me Draco and my friends call me Drae. Nice to meet you."

He didn't care anymore about the feast and the sorting. Harry was still in his mind, but this girl… well, he wasn't sure what he should think about his feelings where she was concerned.

"Drae?" She scrunched up her nose and he thought it was rather cute "Sorry if I'm being cheeky, but I don't like that. I'll think of a new nickname for you." The smile he got was indescribable beautiful.

He introduced her to Pansy and, shortly after, the food appeared and the girls ate their favourite foods happily.

"Draco, don't you want to eat something? It wouldn't be bad for you, you know."

He liked the frankness of this girl and that she cared even though they had only known each other for ten minutes, but he couldn't eat nevertheless. He had barely eaten since Harry's death.

"No. I'm not hungry."

"But…"

Pansy poked her side and she turned towards the Slytherin head-girl.

"Don't, Lil. He won't pay attention, even if you get angry or start threatening or begging. And you don't really know him yet, so he probably won't listen at all."

"But what's wrong? If he doesn't eat…" Lilly whispered back.

"He needs to tell you himself. Give him time. I think he's really interested in being friends with you, judging by the way he practically shoved me onto Theo's lap just now." She stroked over Theodore Nott's knee and his arm wrapped possessively around her waist as he talked with Blaise Zabini. "I don't mind sitting in my boyfriend's lap, but it was rather conspicuous."

Both girls giggled and received odd looks from Draco and Theodore simultaneously, which just made them giggle even louder.

After the feast, Draco willingly took the job of Heraldine's personal guide, partly because it distracted him and partly so that he had more time to get to know the girl better. They talked about random things as Draco showed her the way to the dungeons and made her comfortable with the common room and the advantage of being a Slytherin. Because they had to sleep in the dungeons, they got their own rooms instead of dorms.

The blond showed her to her room and explained her how she could change the password into a personal one.

Once the girl had seen all the important things, they both sat down on the huge, comfy leather couch in the common room and enjoyed the crackling fire. Theodore sat in one armchair and Pansy occupied his lap.

"Have you any questions left? If not, I think I'll go up and get some sleep." Draco asked her.

"What kind of group have I joined here? Everyone from Slytherin treats you with respect and some even look at you in fear - besides these two here, of course." She pointed at Theo and Pansy, but didn't look away from Draco. "And I don't understand why, because you're such a nice guy."

Pansy and Theo snorted loudly and received icy glares from Draco.

"Do you know Drae's nickname down here? Actually, how could you know…well, he's known as the Slytherin Ice Prince. Famous for his indifferent demeanour – emotionless, cold and painful with words."

"No!" Lilly simply stated and looked at Draco in disbelief, who in stared into the fire in answer.

"It's true, Lil. His reputation will give you a lot of advantages, if he keeps you as a friend."

The new Slytherin looked back at Pansy with indignation.

"Keeps me as a friend? I'm no dog."

Draco felt her shifting on the couch. Their arms almost touching, she leaned on the coffee table and turned her head into Draco's view. He focused on her with sad eyes which she didn't notice.

If she knew the whole truth about his family, about his usual behaviour, about Harry, he thought she would hate him. But there was no way to hide it from her. Maybe she would understand.

"Draco, I can't believe what I'm hearing now. You're such a nice and lovely guy." Her mocking tone was a good sign, he thought.

"You can't be ice-cold, you're not that kind of person." She placed a hand on his knee and he felt the warmth of her hand wander to his stomach and make it flutter.

No, no, no, not good. He jumped up and Lilly almost fell to the ground.

"There are reasons why I am like I am, Heraldine. Reasons you don't know. I'm going to bed. Night, Panse, Theo, Heraldine."

He stormed up the stairs in a storm of billowing robes. He wasn't actually angry with Lilly, but he hated himself right now. How could he betray Harry so much, feeling good because of a girl. A girl, for God's sake!

He locked his door and put a silencing charm on it as well. On the way to his bed he dropped his clothes onto the floor and crawled under the blankets wearing nothing but his boxers.

It was night again, the time where nothing could distract him from thinking about Harry. Now that he felt guilty for betraying Harry, it was even worse. The first tear rolled down his face and it began again. He would cry himself to sleep, just like the ninety-two nights before this one.

,','

Draco woke up in a cold sweat. He had dreamed of Harry again and had imagined how his love had perhaps found death.

Although he had never had the pleasure of waking up next to Harry, now that he was gone it was so final. Before, he always had had the hope that maybe one day he could but, now he knew he couldn't, he felt alone all day and nights. Mornings were the worst.

He heard a knock and knew it would be Pansy coming to wake him.

"I'm up, Pansy."

There was another knock and he groaned into his pillow. Scrambling out of his bed, he staggered over to the door and berated Pansy loudly.

"Pansy, I said I'm up. Whatever you want, it can…" he opened the door and looked at Lilly in astonishment.

"Oh!"

The blond noticed the girl's eyes weren't focused on his own and a light pink coloured her cheeks slowly. He followed her eyes and it hit him hard like a brick – he wore nothing but black boxer-briefs.

He loved to show off his body because he knew he was handsome, but this was different. He felt like he needed Lilly's approval, for her to think that he was good looking…as though he was showing himself to his lover for the first time. No, he wouldn't let himself think like that!

Why did he want her admiration so badly? In place of Harry's? Maybe.

He stood in the doorframe and watched Lilly. Her eyes wandered bashfully over his whole body and she bit her bottom like she was doing something forbidden. Her eyes wandered back up.

"Good morning, Lil."

She snapped out of her daze and looked at Draco guiltily, as though she'd been caught stealing.

"You, eurm, you look horrible."

Draco's mouth fell open and he looked at Lilly in utter shock. Horrible? That wasn't the adjective he had expected. No one had ever called him horrible looking before.

"Horrible? I look horrible?"

Lilly scrunched her face up and hit herself on the forehead.

"Oh God, I'm sorry. No, you don't look horrible - quite the contrary! God, I came to apologise and made things worse. I'm sorry. I…you…I meant you look exhausted, not horrible. Pansy told me last night why you've got such a reputation and said that I should come and wake you so that I can apologise. She said that you're going through a rough time and that you definitely didn't mean to sound angry last night and…"

The blond turned around and went to his wardrobe.

"It's okay, Lil. I get it. I never thought there would be somebody who blabbers as much as Harry when he tries to talk his way out of trouble."

He never noticed Lilly twitch on hearing Harry's name.

"Eurm, who's Harry? Is he, eurm, in Slytherin as well?"

Draco didn't turn away from the clothes he was holding, but his mood changed from amused back to depressed.

"You don't know him. He's not in Slytherin. Eurm, well…you can go down now. I'll get ready and meet you down there."

"Oh, okay. I'll wait in the common room with Pansy and Theodore."

,','

One hundred and three days Harry had been gone now and Lilly had her tenth day at Hogwarts.

Draco didn't understand himself. Never before had he let a person get so close to him this quickly. They were always together and Draco felt like they had known each other for years already. Lilly was the perfect counterpart to him. She was like Pansy, but with one important difference; Pansy was like a sister for him but Lilly was…he couldn't believe himself, but he was attracted to her. Not like Harry, he would never let that happen, but she could come close to it. And what frightened Draco the most was that he felt like it wouldn't take long for it to happen.

Both girls walked into the Slytherin common room and their chatter died instantly. Draco sat in one of the huge leather armchairs and stared with dead eyes at the wall across from him. The din of the other students proceeded without Draco even noticing it.

"Pansy, what's wrong with him? He's doing it again. If I don't find out what's wrong with Draco soon, I'll scream. His behaviour's scaring me."

Pansy led Lilly over to Draco and kneeled in front of her best friend.

"Draco!" His eyes focused slowly on Pansy "Lilly will take you upstairs now, okay?" She stood up again and stroked his soft blond hair gently.

"Stay with him, okay?" she addressed Lilly "He needs someone now. But don't force him to talk to you, he'll tell you in his own time."

The girl nodded and took Draco's hand in her own. For the first time the blond looked at Lilly and his eyes got watery.

"Come on, Draco." She dragged at his arm and led him up the stairs. It felt like she was attached to a dead weight.

"Draco, your password?" she asked in front of the dark mahogany door of the Slytherin Ice Prince's room.

"Emerald eyes" he whispered and went in.

Lilly stopped at the threshold and watched Draco in a daze.

"Come in, Lil."

The girl stepped in carefully and went closer to Draco's bed where the boy sat.

"Go to bed, Draco. You need some sleep."

The boy listened to her and stood up to undress. The dark-haired girl pulled back his bed-covers and Draco crawled under the blankets. Her hand combed his hair gently and he sighed. Her touch felt so right against his skin that he leaned into her touch when her hand wandered down to his cheek.

"Sleep well, Draco."

Lilly turned around to leave, but Draco's hand shot up and grabbed her own.

"Will you stay?" His voice wasn't supposed to sound so…so pleading, but it was too late now.

Her hand caressed his hair again and she smiled warmly.

"I'll take the armchair, okay?"

Draco just nodded and she went over to the fireplace and sat in an armchair so that Draco could see her silhouette. She took a book out of her bag and began to read.

Minutes went by in silence and Draco's grief and sorrow turned into exhaustion.

"I miss him so much, Lil, so much."

The girl jumped at the sudden sound and turned to her friend.

"Who?" But Draco was already asleep and never saw or felt when the girl stood up, came to his bed and watched him. She held her hair together with her hand and leaned down. A soft kiss was placed on Draco's cheek.

"I'm here, Draco. I'm here."

,','

The next morning after breakfast Lilly dragged Draco, who looked like he hadn't slept that well in a long time, into a dark corner.

"Lil, we'll be late for Potions. What's this…"

He stopped in mid-sentence. They were so close in this dark alcove that he could smell Lilly. She wasn't wearing any perfume and smelled…she smelled like Harry. How was she doing this to him? It was as if she was Harry's female equivalent.

They say every human has his equivalent somewhere on the planet. Was Lilly sent to him to stop him from mourning over Harry's death? But no-one could replace his Harry - no one!

He made a step towards the smaller girl and inhaled her scent greedily. He remembered the kiss he shared with Harry; how he had tasted and smelled and how his hair had felt between his fingers…

"-co? Draco?"

He opened his eyes and was confronted with concerned blue eyes that seemed to glow in the twilight of the alcove.

"Do you miss him that much?"

The blond's eyes widened and he went even paler than he already was.

"What?"

"You miss Harry!"

"How…how do you know? Did Pansy…?"

"Draco, no one told me anything and it's making me sick. I know we haven't known each other very long, but I don't like to see you depressed and sad. Talk to me, Draco! It helps, you know, to talk about one's sorrow."

"We need to get to Potions." The young man tried to slither out of the situation, but Lilly had him cornered.

"Pansy told me not to force you to talk to me, but if I see you this depressed any longer without knowing why, I'll have to drag you to the nearest therapist. I'll talk to Snape about us being late, don't worry about it."

A defeated Draco Malfoy slid down the wall until he was sitting on the ground and wrapped his arms around his pulled up knees. Sooner or later she would hear about it anyway.

"Yes, I miss Harry." The girl imitated his motions and sat on the ground next to him. 'This will take some time' he thought and began to tell Lilly about Harry Potter. About their hostility, which was faked from Draco's side. About his love for Harry; everything including the kiss he had shared with him one hundred and four days ago.

He wasn't crying. The few tears he had left, he saved for the nights. And he feared the day when there would be no tears left for him to shed.

Lilly's hand combed through his hair again and he couldn't stop himself from resting his head on her shoulder. She smelled so much like Harry.

"I'm sorry, Draco. But you'll be with him again some day."

"Yeah, when I'm finally dead. You've no idea how often I've lain in bed and waited for death or wished I wouldn't wake up again." Lilly didn't comment on the last sentence. She let go of his head and he looked up.

"Did it help you talk about it?"

"Dunno, but I'm glad you know now."

She smiled and stood up, brushed the dust off her skirt and held out a hand to Draco.

"Come on, we're already late for potions."

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