AN: attempted suicide
never too late
this world will never be
what I expected
and if I don't belong
who would have guessed it
I'm sitting there playing my gameslave when I hear the door arguing. Dad's scolding Dib for being insane and Dib's screaming back that he's not. I don't even look up. It's nothing new and something I've learned to tune out. I go back to my gaming.
I will not leave alone
everything that I own
to make you feel like it's not too late
never too late
I hear someone running up the stairs. "You don't understand so just leave me alone!" Dib sticking up for himself? "That's new." I go back to playing vampire piggy hunter P and just as I'm about to beat the boss and win the game I hear something I'm not accustomed to. Sobbing.
Even if I say
it'll be alright
still I hear you say
you want to end your life
now and again we try
to just stay alive
maybe we'll turn it around
cause it's not too late
it's never too late
I can't tune it out and I lose the game. I sigh and put the gameslave away. I open his door slowly and see him sitting in a corner back to the room and shoulders shaking. I walk over to him and gasp at what I see. He stops immediately and I see the tears double. "What do you want Gaz?" I never knew I cared enough to want to cry but I do now that I just caught my brother about to commit suicide.
No one will ever see
this side reflected
and if there's something wrong
who would have guessed it
I take the razor blade from his hands and he gives it up without a fight. I throw it in the trash and hug him tight. "I don't ever want you to try something so stupid again." He looks at me with a narrowed gaze. "why do you even care? I just want to be left alone and that'll never happen." I feel warm, wet tears slide down my cheeks and I bury my face in his back to hide them.
And I have left alone
everything that I own
to make you feel like
it's not too late
it's never too late
He just pulls his knees up to his chest, crosses his arms over them and rests his chin on his crossed arms. "Why did you come in here anyway?" I lift my head to speak. "Originally to find out why you were crying and because you kinda made me lose the game." He smirks sadly. "Sorry about that, I was hoping to never bother you again." I smack him across the face and he stares wide eyed at me for a second. "That's for being stupid and selfish." he looks like he's about to cry again but I'm not finished. I kiss his forehead. "That's for letting me stop you."
Even if I say
it'll be alright
still I hear you say
you want to end your life
now and again we try
to just stay alive
maybe we'll turn it around
cause it's not too late
it's never too late
He smiles and hugs me. I don't struggle or push him away. I can't do that, not now, he needs me. I return his embrace and wipe away the remaining tears on his cheeks. "Thanks Gaz, for everything." I smile and kiss his forehead again. "You want to go to a movie or something?" He nods and I go to my room to get my purse.
The world we knew
won't come back
the time we've lost
can't get back
the life we had
won't be ours again
I come back to his room and he's pulling his trench coat on ready to go. I take his hand and lead him outside. He doesn't wonder where we're going or even ask. I take him around the bend to where the river is and he stops gazing at the stars down to the water sparling below us reflecting on it's waves all the stars in the sky.
This world will never be
what I expected
and if I don't belong
I take him up the emergency escape of the apartments to the top balcony where I sit down. He gives me a puzzled look but sits next to me. "I'm guessing this is the or something?" I nod and pat his hand. "I always come here when I need to be alone or think or have to get my feelings out." He nods. "I like the way the water looks at night. And it's peaceful here, relaxing. Watching the water calms me. If you ever need to find me I'll be right here and if you ever need to talk meet me here." He grins and hugs me. "I love you Gaz." I smile and run my fingers through the hair on top of his head. "I love you too big brother."
Even if I say
it'll be alright
still I hear you say
you want to end your life
now and again we try
to just stay alive
maybe we'll turn it around
cause it's not too late
it's never too late
maybe we'll turn it around
cause it's not too late
it's never too late
maybe we'll turn it around
cause it's not too late
it's never too late (it's never too late)
it's not too late
it's never too late