A/N: Hello. I'm new to this so please give me a little time to get used to this. Sorry in advance. Everyone has to start somewhere. Now, as a forewarning to everyone. ahem

This is a rape/cutter fic and also YAOI. In case you don't know what that means...It's boy on boy love, sex, hugs, kisses, whatever. It's two guys together. If you don't like, you don't need to read. There is a back button on your computer. I'm sure it works. And if at any time you don't like how I write or for whatever reason, there is an X that will close the page. Makes everyone's life easier. This will contain non-consensual sex at some point and will also contain non-consensual touching and/or invasion of the personal bubble.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not the idea...well, the idea to mesh the two together maybe, but just in case I'll say I don't own it. I don't own the characters or even their plushies. I don't own any facts that are written here. So, again, I own NOTHING.

Couples: RoyxEd, AlxRiza (I saw this somewhere and it was just so random and cute I couldn't help myself)

A/N 2: If you don't like the above couples then I don't want to see flames about them. If you want to tell me that you don't prefer them or however you say it but you read my fic anyways, I will thank you for telling me and hope I can change your mind about them. Oh and just for the record, flames will do nothing but keep me warm at night. So don't bother sending one. Anyways and moving on, enjoy!

Blood Sanctuary

Chapter 1- Voices in My Head

The train slowed down to a stop, pulling into the Central Train Station. The doors slid open and people poured out the doors, quickly glancing away from the suit of armor trying to emerge with a small blond behind him. The small blond sighed as his brother finally stepped off the train, allowing him to get off as well. They watched as other people boarded the train and the train pulled out of the station.

Ed sighed again as the activity in the station ceased and they were allowed to walk to the exit. Al picked up his bag and watched his brother struggle along with his oversized suitcase. He smiled to himself as he quickly caught up with the short blond and walked alongside him out into the busy street. He glanced around at all the different people and how happy they all seemed, making him happy too. He occupied his mind with the surroundings, not noticing his older brother's tension.

Ed nervously watched all the passersby and fidgeted with his clunky case, trying not to drop it. He took a deep breath and let out a sigh, trying to calm himself down. He didn't know why he felt this way, but lately he became warier and warier of people. They all seemed to watch him, taunting him, mocking him with contemptuous sneers. He shook his head, trying to dispel the thought of eyes watching his every move.

"Hey, brother, look! It's Ms. Riza!" Al excitedly pointed in the Lieutenant's direction before waving to catch her attention. Hawkeye noticed the tall armor and gave a small smile to herself. She calmly walked over to the brothers and nodded her head.

"Hello, Ms. Hawkeye. What are you doing out of the office?" Al blushed in embarrassment and scratched the back of the helmet's head.

Hawkeye glanced at Ed before looking back to Al. "Actually, I was just coming to get the both of you. Mustang has a new assignment to hand to you. He'd like to brief you immediately, if you don't mind."

Ed's eyes widened at the mention of Roy's name. He bit his lip and worried it, thinking of their last failed mission. Roy would probably yell at him and get his scotch out, disappointed in him. Ed ruffled his unkempt braided hair and sighed. He didn't want to see Mustang if he was going to be like that. He, personally, didn't want to see Mustang at all for the time being. He had to figure out why he was so nervous first.

"Brother?" Al asked, leaning down to see his semi-covered eyes.

Ed jumped and looked up at his brother, an expression of worry on Al's face. "What? Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about what you said, Hawkeye. I think I would rather put it off for now. We just got back and I'm kinda tired so…we'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

The memory of Ed sleeping on the train ride back popped up in Al's mind, but he kept his mouth shut. "Sorry, Ms. Hawkeye, but can you tell Mr. Mustang that we'll see him tomorrow? Thank you very much."

Hawkeye blinked, her serious demeanor not leaving her face. "Well, I believe it would be best if you would come in right away-"

"I don't want to see that bastard!" Ed yelled, tears welling up in his downcast eyes. He quickly wiped his eyes and took a deep breath. "What I meant was I don't want to see him right now. I'll be in tomorrow. If you catch in flack from it, just tell him to blame me. Come on, Al." Ed sighed and started walking away, leaving Al and Hawkeye to stare after him in concern and wonderment.

Al blinked in surprise before turning sheepishly to Hawkeye. "I'm sorry about my brother, Ms. Hawkeye. He…he hasn't been feeling very well lately."

"It's fine," Hawkeye stated matter-of-factly. "And besides…didn't I tell you not to call me Hawkeye."

Al blushed and fumbled his hands. "Um, yes you did, but I don't know…"

Riza glared from the corner of her eye as she deftly pulled out her handgun and clicked the hammer back. "I may not be able to kill or even harm you, but I will have no sympathy if you walk around with a hole in your armor."

Flustered, Al waved his hands around and bowed his head. "Okay, Ms. Riza, okay. But I will not concede the miss. Now if you'll excuse me…"

Al rushed after his brother, leaving Riza to watch him run away. He slowed down after a block and sighed himself. He wouldn't catch his brother now, not with Ms. Riza's conversation circling in his head. He put the thought of his brother on hold and focused on his actions toward her. He was so flustered that he was sure she could read his thoughts. He'd never met anyone like that before.

Now if he could find someone like that for his brother, he wouldn't have to worry over him so much. But maybe…he already knew who was for his brother…and maybe he could do something about it.

Ed dropped his suitcase in his room and peeled off his jacket and gloves, tossing them on his bed. He walked back to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. The first thing he saw on the top shelf was milk. He sighed and moved it out of the way, wiping his hand on his pants. He didn't find anything appetizing and, truthfully, wasn't hungry.

He shut the fridge and untied his braided hair, running his flesh hand through the strands. He brought his left hand in front of his face and looked at it. He then brought up his right hand and looked between the two. He curled his automail hand into a fist and dropped both down to his sides. He sighed again and looked around the room.

'We wouldn't be here if I just hadn't been so stupid. Al wouldn't be an unfeeling suit of armor. Nina wouldn't be dead. Mom…mom would have peacefully stayed dead. Damnit. I should have listened to you, Al. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.'

Ed looked around again and became claustrophobic. The walls looked like they were moving in on him, growing taller above him. His head spun as he collapsed on the floor, shaking his head.

'No, no, this wasn't supposed to happen. Stop…stop it…stop it, please…just-'

"Stop It!!!"

Ed grabbed his head and squeezed his eyes shut, a tear slowly rolling down his cheek. 'Why is this happening? Nothing will leave me alone. When did this happen? Everyone is always right there. How did this start? It won't stop. This feeling won't go away. It won't stop. It's just growing bigger and bigger. It won't STOP!'

He stood up and ran to the bathroom, slamming the door closed behind him. He turned the sink faucet on, pressure forcing water to loudly rush down the drain. He leaned against the sink, trying to drown out the voices in his head. He slammed his hand on the mirror above the sink, and bit his lip.

'They're not going away…'

"Brother?! Are you here?" Al's voice broke through the haze sweltering over his mind.

Ed quickly splashed water on his face and turned the water faucet off. "Yeah, Al. I'm in the bathroom. Hold on a sec, okay?"

He ran his wet hand through his hair and sighed, 'No use hiding in here.'

He grabbed the towel already hanging up and dried his face and hands before leaving the bathroom. He walked back into the kitchen and saw Al sitting at the table waiting for him. Ed's anxiety spiked again, seeing his brother watch him with hollow eyes. He pushed the thought aside and approached the table.

"What's up?" Ed asked, pulling out a chair and sitting down across from Al.

"Ms. Riza's worried about you and frankly, so am I. Why did you lie to her, Ed?"

Ed shifted uncomfortably in the chair and looked away from his younger brother. "I…I just didn't want to deal with Roy yet. That's all."

Folded hands on the table, Al leaned over toward Ed, looking him straight-on. "Is that all?"

Ed swallowed all of his well-being and looked back into Al's eyes. "Yes," he lied.

Al visibly relaxed and laughed at his brother. "See, I knew I was right. She didn't look it, but she wasn't expecting that reply from you."

Wanting attention off of himself, Ed smirked at his brother. "So, you're calling her Ms. Riza again. Did you finally tell her?"

"Huh?" Al blushed furiously and started gesturing wildly. "No, I…we…uh…what did-I didn't…ED!"

Ed laughed and stood back up, watching his flustered brother. "Well, if that's all, I'm going to go take a nap, alright?"

Al was still trying to get all his facts straight. "Yes…wait…what…no, um…"

Ed shook his head and retreated to his room, a worried look passing over his face. 'I can't let Al see me like this. He's so…happy for some reason. I don't want him to hate me anymore. I want him to be as happy as he can…until I can fix things…until I can make everything right.'

He shut his room door and closed his eyes. A wave of nausea overcame him, forcing him to slowly breathe, in and out, in and out. He rubbed his eyes and moved over to his bed. He grabbed his coat and draped it over the chair in the corner of his room, along with his gloves. He sat down on the edge of the bed and removed his shoes, throwing them away from the bed. Taking off his shirt and pants, he placed them on the chair as well before falling onto the bed.

A fog filtered into his head, slowing everything down. His eyes slid closed as he slipped into a blank darkness, forgetting everything.

Al hummed to himself as he put his things away in his room and moved back into the kitchen to clean. He wrapped a pink apron around his waist and grabbed a washrag. Halfway through his cleaning spree and thoughts of Riza, he walked over to the kitchen sink, passing the refrigerator. He looked at it before he opened the door. Nothing seemed out of place except for the milk and nothing seemed to be taken.

'Hmm…that's weird…Ed got home first, but nothing's gone. He hasn't eaten since we left to come back here…'

He stared down at his brother's room when the washrag slipped out of his loose grasp and plopped on the floor. Al snapped out of his reverie and continued cleaning, thinking nothing of his brother's weird behavior.

Ed squirmed in his sleep, sweat glistening on his body. He mumbled and jerked his head, not wanting to see his dream. His hand gripped the sheets beneath him in pain and his eyes twitched beneath their eyelids, dispelling unwanted memories.

Mother's neck snapped in a circle, blood spilling out of her yawning mouth. Her arm cracked into place as she moved toward me. She reached out to me, bloodied hand passing over my face. "You did it…you did this to me…why?"

'No…I didn't mean to…I just…I just wanted to see you again…'

"Brother…what did you do to me?" Al's unraveling body stretched toward me. "I hate you. You did this to me on purpose. You made me like this." Al's suit of armor loomed over him.

Ed fell to his knees and started crying. 'I didn't want this for you, Al…I never thought…'

"Big Brotha…why does it hurt so much? Is it supposed to be like this? Aren't we friends, Big Brotha?" Nina's cute face was distorted with pain and agony. She morphed into the Chimera, sorrowful eyes staring at him. "Help me, Big Brotha. Stop the hurt…"

'I'm sorry, Nina. I wanted to save you. I can't save anyone.' He squeezed his eyes shut and sobbed.

"FullMetal!" The voice wavered out of the shadows. "What do you think you're doing? You're a pathetic excuse for a short person. Of course you can't save anyone. Look at you. You can't even save yourself."

'Stop…please, no…' He didn't want to see that person…not here.

Roy looked down on him with contempt and loathing. "You just wish you would be able to save at least your brother. Knowing you, you'll probably condemn his poor soul to hell. He doesn't deserve that, Edward. You know who does."

Ed bit his lip and slammed his fist into the ground. 'Shut up…'

"Who deserves it, Elric?"

'No…'

"WHO?!"

'ME!'

Eyes wide in horror, Ed sat up in bed, heart racing. He convulsed and wrapped his arms around himself, trying to breathe. Tears welled up in his eyes and spilled down his face. He bit his lip, stopping a sob from escaping. A creak echoed outside his room, making him alert in his destabilized state.

He quietly got out of bed and tiptoed to his door, slightly opening it and peeking out. Nothing stirred. The lights were off and all was quiet. He opened the door gradually, warily watching the hallway. He finally got it open enough where he could slip through and sneak into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

He disregarded turning on the light and stood in front of the sink, looking at his reflection in the mirror above the faucet. Shakily, he turned the valve onto a trickle and cupped his hands together, catching the water. It slowly filled his hands and finally started to flow over. He raised his water-filled hands and splashed his face, letting the water drip down. He sighed and leaned against the sink, trying to dissipate his vivid dream. He gripped the edge of the sink and grimaced, remembering anyways.

'I didn't mean to…I'm sorry…so sorry…never forgive…no…'

Ed turned the water off and leaned back against the wall, cautiously sliding down to sit on the floor. He pulled his legs to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, lowering his head to rest against his knees. He sat there for a while until sleep caught up to him, making his eyes heavy. He lowered himself to the floor and curled up, telling himself that he wouldn't sleep.

He closed his eyes, losing the battle, and felt his hair cover his face. 'I'm not going to sleep…I'm just resting my eyes…nothing's going to happen…I'll be fine…everything will just stop…'

Without meaning to, he lulled himself into a deep slumber.

The sun soon blazed in the morning glow and signaled the beginning of the day. Al lay in bed, feigning sleep before blinking his eyes. He stood up and hummed to himself as he clanked into the kitchen, fiddling with what to make for breakfast. He decided the conventional eggs and bacon with toast would suffice Ed for the time being.

He clattered the pots and pans in the cupboard, looking for his frying pan. Finally succeeding in his quest, he opened the fridge and produced three eggs and three big slices of fresh bacon. He happily set to work, thinking of what the day would bring and if he would she Ms. Riza.

"Brother! I'm making breakfast so hurry and get up!"

Ed, drool falling down the side of his face and to the floor, snorted awake at the clatter in the kitchen and his brother's voice calling him. He drearily looked around the room and felt his back crack. He groaned and scratched his head, noticing the fixtures and the fact that he was on the floor. Not too quickly, he realized he was in the bathroom and had fallen asleep on the floor.

He wiped his face off with his hand and stood up, washing his hand off. He looked at himself in the mirror and blanched. His reflection looked gaunt and hollow, pasty skin a dull color. He exhaled and ran his hand through his matted hair, turning away from the mirror. He shuffled to the door before turning to look at the toilet.

'Well…I'm already here…might as well…'

He used the toilet, flushing afterward, and washed his hands again. As he was wiping his hands, he looked down where he had slept that morning, seeing the drool on the floor. He made a face and grabbed the towel, throwing it over the drool. He wiped up the mess and put the towel in the wash basket, finally emerging from the bathroom.

The smell of bacon wafted toward him and his stomach growled. He didn't feel hungry at all. Instead, he felt like heaving at the smell of food. But…he had to eat something. He dropped his gaze and moved toward his room. Al peeked into the hallway and smiled at Ed's disheveled demeanor.

"Brother, I'm almost done. I made you eggs and bacon. One of your many favorites, right? Hurry and come eat before it gets cold."

He vanished back into the kitchen and left Ed staring after him. Ed shook his head and went into his room, letting the door swing halfway shut behind him. He grabbed his discarded pants and pulled them on, securing the buckle. He stretched his back, moving over to his dresser, and opened one of the drawers. He pulled a clean, black tank top out and put it on, feeling the fabric ghost over his skin.

He clutched his brush and quickly pulled it through his hair. He discarded the brush on the dresser and grabbed a hair tie in its place. He put it in his mouth and methodically braided his hair with his hands, walking to the door and kicking it open with his foot. He ambled down the hall to the kitchen and finished braiding his hair, holding the braid with one hand and tying it off with the other.

Al was setting his plate of food down in front of his chair, watching his brother's aloof mood before turning back around to the stove. Ed sat down in his chair and stared at the food with a sad expression. Al turned back to Ed with his toast and a glass of orange juice, seeing the look on his face.

"Brother, what's wrong? You usually would be scarfing that down by now." Al placed the glass and toast down in front of Ed and worriedly glanced at him.

Startled, Ed feebly laughed and picked up his fork, not looking at Al. "What, are you kidding? It looks delicious. Thanks, Al. I was just waiting for my drink, that's all."

Ed cut into his eggs and lifted the forkful of eggs to his mouth, trying to appear normal. Al didn't say anything and turned back around to clean up. Ed chewed the eggs sluggishly and swallowed, taking a drink of his orange juice. His stomach roiled at the food and Ed quickly swallowed the saliva in his mouth, wanting to keep the food at bay. He picked up a piece of toast and nibbled at it, finding it easier to eat. He placed the nibbled toast on his plate and picked up a piece of bacon.

He bit into it and felt all the fatty juices and tangy salts slide down his throat. He involuntarily gagged and put the bacon down on his napkin along with the bitten-off piece. He took another small drink of orange juice, feeling it block his throat and settle in his stomach like gum. He looked up at his brother's turned back before glancing down at his napkin in his lap. The lone piece of bacon sat there, hidden from view and believed to be eaten.

Guilt-stricken, Ed cautiously picked up his plate and moved the bitten piece of toast back to the side plate. He picked up his fork and slid the food into his lap, placing the dish and fork back on the table. He replaced the bitten piece of toast on the empty plate and smuggled the other pieces of toast into the napkin. He folded the napkin, making sure nothing fell out, and kept it in his lap. He picked up the piece of toast still present on the table and took another bite. He chugged the orange juice, trying not to feel the sticky presence in the back of his throat.

Al looked over his shoulder at Ed and grinned. "See? I told you that you would be hungry."

Ed gave a weak smile and scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, you were right. I was hungry."

Al turned back to the sink. "You can leave the dishes there. I'll pick them up in a second."

"If you say so…" Ed stood up, full napkin in hand, and hid it behind his back.

"Well, go finished getting dressed and we'll head over to Central as soon as I'm done."

Ed nodded his head in fake agreement, moving down the hall. He slipped into his room and shut the door, relaxing. He sat on his bed and gazed down at the napkin in his hand, slightly opening it to see the food inside. His stomach flipped and he quickly shut it again.

'I shouldn't have done that…Al made this for me and I can't even eat it…But…he can't eat it either…It's not fair…Al, you should be able to eat…to drink…to feel again…' He sighed and dropped his head.

'How am I going to get rid of this? I need to get the napkin back out there…but…what about the food? I can't keep it in here…I need to throw it away…but I can't throw it away here.' Ed shuffled his feet and looked around the room.

'Wait…we're going to Central today…if I can find something else to put the food in, I can throw it away on the way there…the bags from our groceries…I can do that…I just need to go get one…Alright then…'

Struck by inspiration, Ed set the napkin down next to him on the bed and started out of his room. He walked back into the kitchen and went to the cupboard with their trash can and supplies. He opened the door and grabbed one of the plastic bags that were stuffed into a space made for trash bags. He closed the door and turned to see Al cleaning up his dishes. He was about to start down the hall when Al stopped him.

"Brother, what happened to your napkin?"

Ed internally froze, not knowing what to say. "Um…oh! I think I accidentally tucked it into my pants in my hurry. It must've dropped in the hallway or something. I'll go find it."

Al giggled at his mistake and clunked back over to the sink, dishes in hand. "Geez, Brother, you're in such a hurry, you don't know what you're doing."

Ed nervously laughed before making his getaway down the hall and to his room. He closed the door most of the way, not wanting to alert Al to a shut door, and hastily put the food inside the bag, freeing the napkin. He knotted the handles and set it down underneath his bed for the meantime. He picked up the napkin and quickly made his way back out to the kitchen.

"Ha! Found it," Ed stated, relieved in more ways than one. "It was outside my bedroom door. I completely stepped over it."

Al snorted. "That would be you, Brother." He looked back over his shoulder at Ed and smiled. "Can you put it in the wash basket in the bathroom for me?"

Ed smiled back. "Sure."

Ed started walking back down the hall, heading toward the bathroom. He opened the wash basket and tossed the napkin inside, thinking nothing more of it. He moved back to his room and picked up his boots. He sat on his bed and slid his boots on, tying them with leisure. He stood back up and picked up his gloves, fitting them on. Finally, he put his signature red jacket on.

'I'll be fine…nothing's going to happen…let's just get this over with…'

He sighed and bent down, picking up the bag of food. He hid it in his pocket and walked out of the room. He sauntered back to the kitchen and sat down at the table. Al finished wiping down the last plate and neatly put it away in the cupboard before turning to Ed.

Ed looked up at him and shrugged. "Ready?"

"Please. I'm always on time. You're the late one, Brother."

Ed bit back a smartass reply and sighed, getting out of the chair and heading toward the door. "Yeah…let's get this over with."

Al looked after him, stunned. Usually Ed would start ranting and throwing a fit about being right. He wouldn't shrug it off and sigh. Ed opened the door and walked out into the bright sunlight, leaving Al behind. Al reached his hand out to stop him but nothing came out of his mouth. He silently watched his brother vanish into the world, not even turning back. He dropped his hand back to his side and looked at the floor, dejected.

'Brother…what's happening to you?'

He blinked and realized that he was still standing in the house, door open and waiting for him. He quickly walked out the door and locked it behind him. He turned and looked out into the street, seeing his brother's bright red coat retreating away from him. Surprised, he waved his hand in the air and started running after Ed.

"Brother! Wait for me!"

'For now, I don't want to worry…I just hope that he'll let me watch over him…at least for a little while. I still hope that one day he'll trust me enough to let me in.'

End Chapter One

Ending Note: Review! Tell me what you think. I had this idea for a long time and I wasn't sure how it was going to play out. If you like it, tell me. If for some reason you don't, tell me why. I would love to be able to fix this any way possible to a point. All reviews will be given a yaoi-cookie for taking the time to write to me.