All Those Precious Seconds

Part I: Itachi

A/N: This is all OOC Itachi's POV

In my mind, I always thought that everyone hated me…everyone was jealous…everyone asked so much of me…I hated them! It was so annoying to have everyone bearing down on me. It was so overwhelming to have every person in the clan and half the village expecting so much from one man…that man being me. The only time I ever got any peace was when I spent time with my little brother, Sasuke. Sasuke never asked so much from me. All he ever asked is if I could help him train, or help with math homework because he couldn't understand it.

The only thing I ever really loved was Sasuke…in the sibling to sibling kind of way. He was always eager to learn more and get stronger. He never really got jealous of me but I think I motivated him in doing well in school. Sometimes, at night, Sasuke had a nightmare and asked if he could sleep with me before he went to our parents. He didn't know any better and I hated to disappoint him. It was weird having to sleep with your brother but the mornings afterwards, both of us were always rested better. Those precious moments may have been the only reasons I left Sasuke alive.

Don't ask me why I killed the clan because by now I just don't know why. It was a messed up, confusing night. There was something inside me that night that forced me to act the way I did. The story's not about that unfortunate mistake anyway. After what happened, I went to the Akatsuki and Sasuke ran away. I didn't see him again for almost eight years. I'd prefer to ignore all of my years in that organization. What I want to focus on, is the day I left.

Part of the reason I joined the Akatsuki was to gain some money. The other was, yes, to use my abilities for a powerful cause. As my years in the Akatsuki went on, I longed to see my little brother more and more. I wondered every night if he was still alive, where he was, what he looked like. I missed him…and after eight years, I couldn't handle it, so I left the Akatsuki in search of him. The first place I visited was our old home. I doubted he had stayed there but I checked anyway. I thought I could still see all the blood spilled against the walls and ground. Everything was torn apart and some of my old weapons, rusted over time were still where I had used them against my clan. Ignoring everything as best I could, I entered my old home. I searched each room but he was nowhere. When I stepped into his room I couldn't leave. I almost saw his small eight-year-old body sleeping soundly in bed.

I couldn't go to the academy. All the Chuunin would recognize me so I asked around. Almost everyone knew who Sasuke was; he was awfully famous—but no one knew where he lived. I searched through hotels, apartment buildings, general stores, even the Leaf Village police while using a disguise jutsu. No one knew where he was. I was starting to doubt if he was still alive.

Losing hope, time, and energy, I stopped by Ichiraku Ramen just to catch my breath. I wasn't the only one there. There was a blonde-haired boy at about the age of sixteen, scarfing down bowl after bowl of ramen.

"What can I get you today?" the young girl behind the counter asked me.

"Something cheap," I replied, to depressed to say anything.

Watching the kid next to me almost made me lose my appetite. I was the most depressed I'd ever been. What if Sasuke was dead? What if it was too late?

"There you go! One plain ramen, cheapest we got."

I would've thanked her but I couldn't talk.

"What's your problem?" the blonde-haired kid asked me.

"Nothing you'd understand," I replied, getting even more depressed every second I sat there.

"Geez. You're exactly like Sasuke."

At the sound of his name, I brightened and hoped for the best.

"You wouldn't happen to know where he is now…would you?"

"Of course I do."

"Really!? Where!?" I yelled standing up, my chair flying back.

The chef, the waitress, and the blonde stared at me.

"Well!? Where is he!?"

"Uhhh…he lives at 'the Lark' apartment building on 42nd Avenue. Apartment 332. He's there or out at the training field."

Without a moment's hesitation, I rushed out of the small ramen shop in search of my little brother once more.

It wasn't hard to find "the Lark" apartment building that the blonde spoke of. It was an old run down building in a darker section of the village. It looked to dangerous for someone like Sasuke or…the Sasuke I remembered. I cautiously walked into the dark, small, cramped apartment building. I walked up a few fleets of stairs to the third floor and ran down the hall of doors in search of apartment 332. The numbers on the doors were faded and hard to read. I thought I saw a 328. Squinting, the next door said 329…330…331…! I stopped at 332, my heart pounding.

What if he didn't give me a chance? What if things never went back to the way they were? I took a breath and knocked on the door. There was a groan from behind the door and some frustrated, mumbled words before I heard footsteps coming towards the door. What was I going to say? "Sasuke I quit the Akatsuki so I could be your big brother again?" That was really stupid.

Oh man. This'll never work! What can I do?

Before I could think of anything to say, the door opened and a seventeen-year-old version of my otouto, stood in the doorway. There was a long, awkward pause and all I could do was stare. He glared back at me. He was angry. And he had good reason to be. But I didn't want him to be. His eyes were different. They weren't the eyes I had cherished to see every day when he came home. These eyes were cold and full of hate. He had listened to what I'd told him…to "foster his hatred in order to kill me."

He started to slam the door in my face but I couldn't let him go yet.

"Wait!" I said, putting my foot in the door. "I need to talk to you!"
"There's nothing to talk about, stay away from me!"

"Please, Sasuke! Give me a chance!"

"I hate you!"

I managed to open the door and step into the apartment. Sasuke kept backing away from me. It hurt me to see him so upset. I didn't want him to get scared or more frantic than he already was but I needed to close the door; I didn't want him to run away from me. He was looking for a weapon I could tell.

"Calm down Otouto—"

"Shut up! Never call me that!"
"Please Sasuke! Just five minutes…"

"No! Go away!"

Depression. All I could feel was a deep sadness inside me. All of that searching and then finally getting an answer, but having this happen was heartbreaking. I only wanted a chance…one single chance to just tell him what I was thinking. I wanted him to be happy so I was thinking about leaving, but…before I knew what I was doing, I had rushed over and embraced him. I couldn't help it. I'd missed him so much and he was the only family I had left on the Earth.

He was struggling to get away but I couldn't let him go. And that's when I confessed.

"Sasuke, I want things to go back to normal! I want to be your big brother again! I want us to be a family again and I want us to love each other like we used too!"

He had stopped struggling now and he was trembling. I wanted to calm him down. He needed to hear more to believe me, but I didn't know what else I could say.

"I still remember…All those times you had nightmares and came and slept with me, or when thunderstorms scared you in the middle of the night. You never went to mom and dad's room. You never asked so much of me like everyone else. You never expected anything but brotherly love from me."

He was calming down a little. I needed to say more. I rubbed his back a little, trying to make him trust me again.

"Everyone expected me to be the best and everyone expected me to be perfect. You never did. You were my best friend. All those times you needed help with homework or training and you asked me to help, I was always so relieved to get away from everyone else. You were so easy to talk too."

I felt something warm and wet trickling down my neck. Reluctantly, I pulled away a little so I could see his face. As I had thought, he was crying. I felt like crying too, but just like when we were kids I tried to stay calm and sooth him.

"I know it s sudden and confusing but it's the truth," I whispered wiping away a few tears on his face.

He looked up at me, the cold and hate melting away from his eye.

"I want to be your big brother again," I repeated. "I want things to go back to the way they were when we were kids. You want it too…don't you?"

There was a small saddened glimmer in his onyx eyes that gave away his real thoughts

"You killed them," he choked.

I didn't know how to explain that. I could barely explain it to myself. How could I tell him it was an accident? He was smarter now. I wouldn't be able to say something without him seeing the truth like when we were younger.

"I didn't kill them as a test."

"Then why—"

I touched his lips to keep him quiet and hear me out.

"Something was wrong with me that night. There was something inside me that caused it. I don't know if it was a drug or a demon, but I know I didn't want too. I know how much they meant to you."

"Then why—" he said again.

"I just told you!"

"You're such a jerk! You expect me to believe that!?"

"Yes!"

There was another pause as he stared back into my eyes. Relief was drizzling over me when I saw that the hate and cold had disappeared. He was still disbelieving though and scared.

"It was a mistake; a mistake I can't fix. But I can makeup for it by protecting you like a big brother should."

"I can take car of myself! I've done fine so far on my own!"

"I know. And I'm glad that you did. But now I have to make up for neglecting my duties."

"I'm not some helpless little twerp anymore Itachi. I don't need anyone!"

He tried to pull away but I couldn't let go until he let me go back to being his nii-san.

"Well, if you can take care of yourself, then can I at least take some bills off your hands, Part of the reason I went to the Akatsuki was to get some money. Now that I have some, I can help."

He looked away from me. I didn't think he would be so hard to convince. I sighed and asked, "What can I do to make you happy?"

"Make it not true," he cried.

I wanted to make it not true too, but no matter what I told myself, I could never convince myself that if never happened. I scratched his spikey hair like I used to when I comforted him. A touch to his hair always seemed to make him feel better. I always enjoyed petting his head. Though his hair was spikey, certain areas of his hair were soft to the touch. He refused to look back at me but I could tell he enjoyed the familiar way I rubbed his hair.

"Please, Sasuke. I'll be a better person. Honest. I just need you to trust me again."

He leaned forward a bit and layed against my chest. Was it working? I couldn't tell. I rubbed his shoulder gently.

"Shhhhh…" I cooned. "It'll be okay," I whispered in his hair.

I felt him toying with the collar of my cloak. He was about to say something he was nervous about saying. He used to twirl his bangs before he asked me to help with homework.

"Umm…you quit the Akatsuki?"

"I did…and it wasn't easy."

"Um, does that mean…you have no place to live?"

I smiled.

"Nope."

"Um, would you like to…stay here?"

I couldn't help but rub my head against his in relief.

"I'd like that."

So after that, we went back to being brothers. His team was kind of shocked. Turns out that blonde-haired kid from Ichiraku was on Sasuke's team. I liked his sensei. He was funny, kind of perverted, responsible ( though he was constantly late), and brave. The girl of the team was okay I guess.

I should have changed my ways a long time ago. Restarting my life with Sasuke was definitely one of my better ideas. Being with him is just like being in heaven for me.

A/N: There will be a part two in sasuke's pov once I finish writing it. Hope it wasn't too boring or anything.