Just A Harmful Prank

You fucking won't believe this. But every single word in this story is written upon listening to music than I frown upon deeply and dream of smashing into pieces. No jokes. I am such a huge hypocrite.

This story was built on: the black eyed peas, Gwen Stefani, Rihanna and Justin Timberlake. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

BUT EDITING WAS POWERED ON TWISTED SISTER.

FUNNILY ENOUGH.

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The El Manana music video finally fades to black and Murdoc switches the TV off with the remote. He turns and gestures at the video with an eager smile. "Well? Whadda think, Russ?" Russel's lips quiver and he shuts his eyes as the tune echoes in his mind with new visuals to match. He bows his head and wipes a tear from his eye. "It's beautiful…" he whispers. "I thought so," Murdoc grinned from the achieved goal of crying.

"Have 2D and Noodle seen it yet?"

"Erm, no. But Russel! I have the mother of all pranks!" Russel's face grew dark with splendour. "Do tell."

"It requires the utmost secrecy. You can't even breathe or it's ruined. You need to act. Can you be a decent actor, Russ?" he asked slowly almost intending to patronize. Russel nodded becoming more excited the more he spoke of it. "None of that codfish 'OMG!' bullocks, right?" He nodded again. "Good," he smiled evilly.

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The lanky singer walked down the corridors whistling to a groovy little tune he'd heard someplace random and had forgotten the name of. He came into the kitchen and cheerily said 'ello! to Russel reading the paper at the table. He lowered the paper suspiciously and watched 2D make a sandwich with 2 pieces of fibre white bread and a light spread of margarine, 2 slices of juicy tomato, 3 of mild cheese and a layer of lettuce all pressed together and dropped on a little white and blue plate. I guess you could say that Russel had kept a close eye on 2D for the past few days. He sat down opposite him and took a bite of his meal and Russel's vision slipped behind the paper again. It was quite shocking that he had no clue that Russ and Murdoc had planned an over-the-top extreme joke. Russel wasn't so sure at first. A joke like that could only be taken so far before it could cause some serious tragedy. The timing had to be just right or god knows what this dullard would do. But, damn, it was still sweet to imagine. Who knows? Maybe in the end he'll get a kick out of it and start laughing too. "Nice sandwich, D?"

"Could do with some egg actually," he said just about spitting out a mouthful onto Russel's protection paper. The drummer's face was tingeing pink and starting to ache from trying to hold his laughter. Aww, he should be so ashamed to kid this blue-haired child who could be mistaken for a rabbit in the headlights. How could Russel ever be so mean? "Hey, Russ. You haven't heard from Noodle yet by any chance, have you?"

"Patience, D, they'll be back with the finished video soon enough. I'm sure it's going to turn out just the way we planned it." The truth? Both Russel and Murdoc were a bit short of the cash in their wallets from bribing Noodle to keep away from Kong for a few days. Just while they want to tease and fool 2D then really humiliate him when she arrives home tonight. She needed to be here practically on time or… shudder. Another good, no, awesome, no, unbelievable part of the concept was that Murdoc had snubbed him early in the construction of the video because of some idiotic thing and ever since been ignored when he said 'Why the hell would you use the windmill again? It's just getting old, it'll bore them!' So yeah, all that is confirmed to him is… yes, shit-for-brains, of course we're using THE FUCKING WINDWILL! –THWACK-.

"You mean Murdoc planned it," he muttered.

"What'd I plan, sunshine?" Murdoc slapped a hand on 2D's shoulder making him yelp. He laughed and took a seat next to him with a smile on his face. Not like the signature villainous Mister Niccals smile but a friendly polite smile like he was in a blissful daze. It scared 2D in sick ways. "Erm… nothing, Muds."

"So reserved. You won't tell me anything, will you?" 2D watched him in silent horror wishing to be anywhere but here. Russel let a chuckle escape from his mouth and quickly passed it off as a cough. "What cha reading there, Russ?" Murdoc got up from his seat and over behind Russel still with that smile and skimmed over the paper. He straightened it out and both heads were covered discreetly from 2D's view. He tipped his head and cocked an eyebrow with an expression of utmost confusion. A few seconds passed and then the girlish giggling started and 2 pairs of eyes peeked over the edge of the paper. 2D shot his eye's open alerted and they shot back followed by more hysterical giggling. 2D was more than a bit thick to figure out what the fuck they were up to in this case.

"Erm… g-guys?" he stuttered. Murdoc popped his head over the side attentively. "Yes, 2D?" Russel's head soon joined his except his still held a pink glow and suddenly 2D didn't know what to say. It felt like it was happening all over again. He was just a little shy boy with a dorky haircut and packed lunch from his mummy and Murdoc and Russel were the 2 fat, greasy, nasty yet somehow ostentatious bullies who picked on him for it. But 2D knew who couldn't do anything but walk away. "Never mind."

Murdoc and Russel exchanged glances then fell behind the paper. Murdoc mouthed 'What a fucking dickweed! I feel sorry for that bloke' dramatically while Russel turned red from oppressed laughter once again. He did the rubbing-a-towel-through-my-head gesture with 2D's same space stare and Russel started giggling again. It wasn't a giggle really, it was more of a high-pitched hiccup or yelp but otherwise it was pretty freaky. 2D felt alone and more grown up than that so just walked out of the room.

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A knock erupted on the front door of Kong and the colour drained from Murdoc's face and he immediately ran to be the first to answer it. He opened the door and there stood his guitarist with spots of water in her hair and on her clothes with a matching icy expression. "Noodle! I didn't say you could come back yet!"

"Murdoc, I have nowhere to go and it's about to rain."

"Well, just go out to a movie or something, eh?" Murdoc suggested and tried to push her out of the door but she fought back. "Murdoc! I live here, I have a right to be allowed in my own home, don't I?" He hesitated with a wary sigh then finally let her inside. "Alright, alright, but you can't be seen!"

Noodle turned around with a dropped jaw and she tried to fish for her words with a finger pointing a bullet through his head. "Excuse me? You- I can't be seen? Are you mad?"

"Mad genius, maybe. I've always had a gift."

"Why can't I be seen?" she yelled and Murdoc shushed her waving his arms at her with horrified eyes. "Keep it quiet, will you! You've got to go on the underground."

"What are you talking about?" Murdoc rolled his eyes knowing she knew nothing like the dullard but she had a quicker wit than he did. "Come on." He grabbed her arm and started dragging her to the lift. "Hey! What-"

"Sshhh!" Murdoc warned and pushed her abruptly into the lift and sadly, deep down inside he knew a part of him was singing that suspense special agent undercover music. Sad but true. Anyway, weren't we all? He closed the lift doors and took them up a level patiently waiting. "What the fuck do you think-"

"I said quiet, bitch," he growled. Oooooh, he's gonna get it bad! Noodle narrowed her eyes and lunged to punch him but he turned and grabbed her arm midair. "Not now, luv, please." The lift doors opened and he checked them. Clear. He dragged Noodle out but she pushed him away with a scowl, "No!" Luckily Russel and especially 2D were downstairs right then or they definitely would have heard Noodle kick and shout while Murdoc literally threw her over his shoulder and locked her up in her room.

"BASTARD! What the hell has gotten into you? Let me out!" Murdoc leaned on her thumping door and covered his hand with his hand and tried to explain carefully.

"Look, luv, I really would love to let you out right now, believe me but I can't until I do this thing…" Suddenly the petty fists stopped and Murdoc thought she gave up. Only to realise he was wrong once he was thrown away from the door as she did one of her world famous power kicks. "If you don't let me out then I'll break the door down!" Murdoc gasped and ran to the door again whining and clawing at it. "Please don't break the door down… just don't."

"You really leave me no choice, Murdoc." He moaned and sobbed as he leaned on the door and slid down it looking up the ceiling and muttering 'why me' over and over. "Thanks a lot, Noodle! You've ruined me. Now I'll never be able to do my prank. It was just a prank! I've done others before, why couldn't I do it? Such a clever one as well…"

"… What prank?"

"The one I saved for 2D, luv, it's priceless. Well at least it would have been."

"Is this why you've kept me out of Kong for days?" Murdoc mumbled a yes through his fake boo-hoo-hooing. "… The prank must have been pretty good… So it would have worked if I hadn't come an hour too soon?"

"It's lost now, its history. It was great idea but-"

"I'll keep to your plans if you tell me what the prank is," she blurted. Murdoc turned his head side on trying to hear her more clearly. Doth my ears deceive me? "I can't tell you, luv, its top secret but it's wicked, I can promise you that. We'll be lying on our stomaching laughing and crying for days." She would just have to buy that for now and hope she'll agree to help out her old Uncle Murdoc, Mudsie wudsie. She was still mulling it over. "Jesus Christ, child! I'll pay you!"

"Deal!" Murdoc growled 'there that wasn't so hard now was it oh she definitely heard that didn't she that little…' Pure ranting. "Fine, Noods. Just… quietly sneak into the living room and make sure you don't exist till 6 when you'll be there. Savvy?"

"Got it," she agreed. Murdoc sighed heavily and glowed for a minute on the floor before he scrambled to his feet and walked back to his band mates, rubbing his hands together like he'd just won a goldmine.

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Perfect! Brilliant! Marvellous! …Well at least I hope so. Murdoc whistled joyfully through Kong as his finest hour dawned. His arms swung back and forth in the movement of his stiff-legged walk and it was almost like he was a different person. He passed Russel's room and rapped his door then paused. Russel creaked his door open an inch and peeked through to see this… madman. "Come on, Lards, it's almost 6! We'll miss our cue!" Russel stepped out looking grave and morbid. "Tell me… am I good actor?"

"Well better than most, Russ. Definitely better than most." Russel waved an arm, flattered. They both made their way downstairs and Murdoc quickly dashed into the living room where he set up his flash video camera he got from his grandmother last Christmas. No, wait, he bought it with the money she'd left him in her will, that's right. He hid it on a rack behind the couch amongst his various satanic items of glory and pressed the record. He stepped back and gave the film a thumb's up once he was convinced it was almost invisible. Russel grabbed the video and they walked to 2D's room.

On the way they practised their deepest most downhearted expressions but had to throttle themselves just to stop laughing. After a few minutes of pondering outside 2D's room, he finally came to the door himself since they didn't have the courage to knock. They immediately fell silent and tried looking at the prank a different way, like the way 2D's only option was. Like it was real. "Come to annoy me again, have you?"

"Erm… actually, no. 2D," Murdoc began with a soft tone and gentle eyes that seemed to open to 2D. "We have some news, D. Some news you… that we don't appreciate." Russel was more than a good actor, he was suburb. He actually choked on his words for tears there but he knew if Noodle was really dead that he would be balling his eyes out. 2D gave them a blank stare like expected. "What news?"

Russel tried to smile reassuringly but it twisted into a pained cringe. He held out the tape to 2D and he took it gingerly and read the label: El Manana. "El Manana? It's our music video. (Oh well done) We need to see it!" He smiled at them but if anything their faces grew greyer. His smile faded slightly. "Where's Noodle? She'd want to see this."

"That's the news, mate. Noods… couldn't make it to the premiere. But this is definitely the video… Jamie said something about… 'It's the last take'." 2D looked down at the tape again and sighed. He loved watching anything with Noodle even if it was a zombie movie or chick flick or a music video. She knew he loved this song. He gazed up again, Murdoc and Russel having forgotten what was even funny in the first place. "So let's watch it…"

They nodded and made their way into the living room. Murdoc winked into the lens and Russel trod on his foot 'by accident' to keep him for making more 'subtle' signals. 2D and Russel were comfortably seated and Murdoc hesitated to slip the tape in. "2D…"

"Yeah, Muds?" he muttered.

"… I'm sorry." 2D's eyes grew wild as he took a seat next to him, tears in their eyes. What the fuck has gotten into everybody? "It's just a music video, gosh…" he mumbled as the video started. It took a while to start. 3 or 4 seconds can take a while to pass once you're caught up in the suspense like that. Especially when you have no idea what to expect, it can be quite worrying. The light flicked on the screen and Noodle's emerald eye appeared. Little did they know that Noodle had prowled behind them and watched from the doorway. Of course, she still had to see the video herself and find out if it's as depressing as was planned. Her live audience would most definitely confirm that. And thus the video began. 2D's eyes tinted with tears as he bit his lip to keep from singing. Then the choppers arrived from the background and he went numb and stone crawled through him…

The video finished and 2D was far from his first stray tear. Murdoc turned off the TV and turned to his singer with his wet hands clutched to his eyes. Russel sniffed his own teardrops back and mentally slapped himself for such a cruel act of indignity. Noodle could see plainly that 2D didn't know it was staged, he hadn't seen her since and all she could hear was her friend's grieving and the sound of Murdoc's flesh been skinned. She oppressed her breath and wanted to run out there screaming at them all but she kept still. She wanted to make sure once Murdoc got his reaction from 2D that it'd scar him in ways be otherwise couldn't be reached.

"Noodle," 2D moaned. "I-I-Is she…?" Murdoc laid a hand on 2D's shoulder and nodded gently. "I'm so sorry, 2D. Really I am." 2D just blew up inside and he whined in a high pitch like a child which hurt Murdoc's ears. He covered his face and leaned over his knees as he cried out more forcefully. "Oh god, oh my fucking god, Noodle!" Murdoc took his hand back uneasily and saw Noodle behind them in the doorway. He opened his mouth to speak knowing from her face that he deeply regrets doing this now. Noodle pursed her lips like she'd sucked the most sour lemon and shook her head grimly. She advanced slowly then stopped when 2D wailed and flung himself upright.

"NOODLE! Oh…! Oh god! Noodle!" Murdoc rolled his eyes thinking he already knew and was over killing it a bit. He patted his back lightly. "There, there… She was lovely young woman." Russel dug his face in his hands and 2D choked up his words again as he stared at the television. "B-But… I loved her…" Noodle held her breath. "We all did, mate. She was loved by all who knew her."

"No! No. I loved her… more than that," he turned his ugly sick face at him. "I loved her, Murdoc. Oh god I loved her so fucking much! And now she's fucking dead!" He held his head between his legs again and tears of agony stained the carpet. "I would have done anything for her… I'd die for her… she…" 2D stopped having not found the right words. He didn't know what he was going to do. Without Noodle he wouldn't accept another guitarist, no one, the band couldn't last, his career was over and he had no future no more, don't think I'll be here too long. "I can't go on," he said as he sat up again with a sense of regaining calm but panic amongst the rest especially Noodle who heard every word of his confessed undying love. This wasn't about to be another Romeo and Juliet parody.

"What?" Russel squeaked and 2D stood up. "I can't stay here, I can't take this bleeding heart. I loved her." Murdoc grabbed his arm and pulled him back firmly. "Doesn't mean you have to go and kill yourself over her, dullard. Move on-"

"How could I move on without her, Muds?" Murdoc had long since been thinking 'fuck Noodle, get out here, can't you see and I know you're enjoying this as much as I am… I'm sorry' and he got a glimpse of 2D's sickly bloodshot face. He couldn't take it. He'd reached his limit. The joke was over. You've just been punked. "Easily. Because she's not dead." 2D glanced down like he was seeing lights darting about. "What are you talking about?"

"She's not dead, Stuart. She's standing right outside that door."

"Piss off, Murdoc," he muttered obviously not amused. Murdoc held out his hands and locked eye contact with him. "I'm not joking. Just go look yourself, she's right there." Hurry up Noodle you little brat get out here NOW! Murdoc pointed a finger right at her but she continued to stare at him heartbroken. "Look, Murdoc, just stop it, okay! You may not have cared about Noodle but I did!"

"Hey! I'm not lying! She's fucking just standing right out there! Go and look!" Murdoc argued and 2D aggressed on him.

"FUCK YOU!" Aw shit he wasn't joking he really has lost it he really is in love with her the sicko. 2D yelled and flipped the coffee table over onto the floor and grabbed beer and wine bottles and threw them at the wall and window, Pink Floyd style. Murdoc and Russel froze and he kicked the TV onto the floor where it smashed and blew in a lick of bright white burning bright light. He reached down just as quickly and held a piece of cut grass to Murdoc's throat. He gasped and thought 2D really was going to kill him, the bastard would really kill him and he knew he'd gone way too far and in this case: the point of no return. "How do I know it wasn't YOU who killed her? Huh? TELL ME!" 2D lifted the glass above his head and Murdoc cried out holding his arms over his head defensively like a little squeamish girl, "2D, Wait!"

He held the glass in midair and paused while Murdoc braced for impact and shut his eyes tightly closed. Then there was nothing. Nothing. Then a chuckle from 2D. Followed by another then another of a different gender. Murdoc opened one eye and saw 2D laughing hysterically down upon him and he become utterly flabbergasted. "What the fuck…?"

"Aw, D, man! You stopped!" Russel called out, his head leaning back on the couch with a hand nursing it, mouth wide open and gawking on laughter. "But it was going so damn well." Murdoc stared at Russel in disbelief and he suddenly saw his face and erupted in giggles. "The look on your face!" 'What's wrong with my face…?' WTF???

"I'm sorry, Russ, I just couldn't take it! I couldn't stop laughing!" Noodle came out from the doorway into the room laughing with them and Murdoc grew more shocked than ever as 2D and her exchanged a high five. "I'll say. You should of seen the looks he cast me! I could barely hold my tongue!" Murdoc held up a finger with a squinted eye. "Okay… what the fuck is going on? This was meant to be my prank so why aren't I laughing?"

"Actually, it's our prank this time, Muds." Sadness swept over poor lonesome Mudsie. "What?"

"We heard you were gonna trick us so we decided to give you a taste of your own medicine," Noodle explained. Murdoc looked around at the four of them. "You mean you were all in on this to get me? Well how sweet but… Hey!" He turned to Russel. "How'd they know?" Russel coughed suspiciously and twiddled his thumbs modestly. Murdoc narrowed his eyes coldly at his traitor. "You bastard." Russel smiled and shrugged. "That's it! You're all fired!" Murdoc screeched at them and scampered out of the room with humiliation written all over his dirty greasy face. He wouldn't be showing his sorry ass for awhile.

The three of them burst out into hysterics and was soon rolling about on the floor as promised tears streaming from their eyes and stomachs about to burst. Cheers, Russel. And to all friends (you know who you are) who helped put this sad drunken old sod back into his place. You know we're grateful. Amen.

The End.

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I actually like that story… I really do, interesting twist at the end, no? Review please, it's much appreciated. Ciao:)