TITLE: Embrace
AUTHOR: Macx
RATING: PG-13
DISCLAIMER: None of the characters belong to me, sadly. They are owned by people with a lot more money
Author's Voice of Warning (aka Author's Note):
English is not my first language; it's German. This is the best I can do. Any mistakes you find in here, collect them and you might win a prize The spell-checker said everything's okay, but you know how trustworthy those thingies are...
FEEDBACK: Loved:

relates to Choice and Change, kinda like a sequel :) You can find those by just clicking on my name.

It had been a month since Barricade had more or less joined the ranks of the Autobots. Well, 'joined' was a rather loose word for it. He wasn't a Decepticon by affiliation any more, but he wasn't a true Autobot either. He refused to be 'branded' as he called it. Bumblebee would have felt uneasy seeing his own symbol on the black mechanoid. This way he was like a neutral unit.

He also didn't stay at the Autobot base. Wherever Barricade went to recharge, probably only Jazz knew. It wasn't like the Decepticon hadn't lived for four years among the people of this planet, always in disguise, already. He knew places where to rest and where it was safe to drop into a full recharge.

As for Jazz, Bumblebee had never seen his friend this happy and he envied him a little. Not because of Barricade but because he had shared his spark, had found his perfect other half. A spark that resonated with his own energies, that was – and he was thinking about Barricade here! – warm and affectionate and trusting. It was beautiful and sacred to their kind and despite all misgivings Ironhide had about the Decepticon shock trooper, he couldn't argue that a bond like this meant more than any other declaration Barricade might have made.

Sam wasn't very happy about Barricade's presence. The former Decepticon had threatened and nearly killed him – well, badly bruised him – and it still sat deep.

"He won't harm you," Bumblebee had tried to reassure his charge again and again.

But Sam hadn't looked very convinced. He came to the base, determined not to be afraid, but since Barricade was never around, there was nothing to help lessen the fear or to prove to Sam he wasn't in danger.

Bumblebee looked up when Jazz drove into the hangar that was their base. The second in command transformed, grinning at the other Autobot.

"Hey there, Bee. What's kickin'?"

It was so good to have him back. His revival had been a miracle and Bumblebee had been overjoyed that the Allspark shard had had enough power to restore what little had been left of Jazz's spark.

Apparently, Barricade felt the same.

"I was about to ask you that. I thought you'd gone lost or something. Had a good time?" Bumblebee teased.

Jazz chuckled. "Wouldn't you want to know, kid. Everything A-okay around here?"

"Yes. Ironhide accompanied Will home. He's on call should we need him. Ratchet is doing something or other in his lab. Optimus has a video conference with John Keller."

"And you're getting ready for the weekend with Sam?" Jazz smiled.

"Yes. Sam said something about a camping trip."

"Well, have fun."

"What about you?"

"Oh, 'Cade and I have plans." The blue optics glittered.

Bumblebee chuckled, not even asking what those plans were. He had an idea or two.

"Jazz?"

"Hm?"

"Why doesn't he come here?"

Jazz's face grew serious. "Would you want him here, Bumblebee?" he asked evenly.

Would he? Really? Wasn't there just a tiny sliver of doubt? And a huge aura of menace around Barricade, too? The Decepticon and Bumblebee had collided in past battles, sometimes almost literally, and even here on Earth he had faced the shock trooper. Bumblebee had come out on top each time, as his survival showed. Now and then it had been sheer, damn luck.

"You trust him," he now said. "I think that's good enough for me."

Jazz smiled, but there was no humor there. "Thanks, Bee. That means a lot. And I do trust him. With my spark. 'Cade can't change how he is and maybe not even who. Coming here would provoke too many negative emotions. Ironhide in particular isn't too happy about him and me even meeting -- think about what Barricade coming here would do."

"Yes, I know. It's just… sad."

Another smile, reflecting just that sadness. "Yes, it is. But he's here, with us. It's something I always hoped for, and it never happened."

Bumblebee nodded. An inner alarm told him it was time to leave and pick up Sam.

"I'll see you in two days," he said, waving at Jazz.

"Yeah. Have fun!"

Bumblebee chuckled and transformed, heading out the base. He was sure he would.

Barricade didn't know if happiness was what he experienced right now. It was a feeling of general well-being, of completion, of… satisfaction. He was content where he was, what he was, and with whom he was. He didn't feel any pressure, any need to change his current situation, or any alarm. While his sensors were always scanning for danger, his very… soul was at peace.

There was a soft hum from somewhere close, a vocal expression of his state of mind. Next to him, on the hill Jazz had first shown to him a few days ago, parked a silver Pontiac Solstice. Their fenders were touching and while Barricade didn't have the microfine sensor net Jazz possessed, he felt the Autobot's presence like an embrace. The receptors that covered every surface of the silver skin were normally used to analyze atmospheric and environmental conditions, but they also gave Jazz a sensitivity that Barricade had used for his purposes in the past. Sensory input overload often triggered sharing and it was intense.

Barricade let low electrical currants race across his skin and he felt the answering shudder from the Solstice.

"Feelin' cocky today," Jazz teased.

Barricade rumbled. There was so much he wanted to say, wanted Jazz to know. He wanted him to understand that this meant more than a brief moment of sharing to him, but his voice processor failed him. Decepticons didn't express emotions. Barricade hadn't been born a Decepticon, but he had always been hard-pressed to accept he even had emotions of such kind. He was a warrior. He was fierce and relentless and strong and fast and tough. He wasn't about to gush out his thoughts and then slink away in embarrassment. That wasn't him.

The other spark seemed to glow, seen and felt through their shared bond.

Barricade knew how easily Jazz assimilated information, how fast he processed it, how acutely aware he was of everything around him. Jazz knew him, without talking, without asking, by just looking. Barricade was frightened of that ability of the other mechanoid to see so much, but on the other hand he was also a little thankful.

::I know:: Jazz whispered, sliding deeper into the sharing. ::I missed you, too::

Barricade shivered. He had been so lost. Alone. He had been ready to die. Even now, all that time with Jazz already, he was still in danger of falling into the abyss that had opened after he had heard about the Autobot's fate. He would always remember the scream rising in him, the blackness of despair, the fury of betrayal, and the sole wish to destroy all who had cost him everything.

But back then the Decepticons had perished and the lone survivors had disappeared. Scorponok hadn't been found yet and Starscream, opportunistic coward that he was, had turned tail. Barricade would gun him down without a second thought the next time he saw him.

Jazz was all around him, embracing him, holding him together, and they shared what couldn't be put into words. The abyss was pushed back again, the other spark warm and all-encompassing.

::Don't:: Jazz whispered.

Don't think about it. Don't let it eat you. Don't let it stand between them.

This was sacred, the ultimate act of trust and understanding as both sparks merged for what would seem only seconds to a human. In their time, in the world of electronic minds, it was an eternity.

Barricade dropped his last guard and opened himself up completely, trusting only this one being with everything he had.