A/N: Okay, for those of you who read my profile and/or the author's note in Playing for Keeps, I lied. This is no longer going to be a standalone, it's going to be a two-parter. At least, I think it is. At the most, it'll be three parts. But right now, I'm thinking two. So… yeah!
Read! ♥ I love you all.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Digimon or rights to any of the characters, I'm not making a profit off of this, etc.
Shallow Means, Deep Ends
by: neo-chan
"You were supposed to turn back there."
Tai blinked at his best friend and then checked the map before looking back at the road.
"No I wasn't."
"Yes you were."
"How do you know?"
"Because I can read a map!"
To kick off summer, Tai and Yamato were driving up to the beach for the weekend. Mimi and Sora were already up at Mimi's beach cottage, so the four friends planned to rendezvous at the beach. Neither Tai nor Yamato had a beach cottage, but Yamato did have an uncle with a house fairly near the beach. His uncle Jim and his wife Emma were more than happy to let Yamato and Tai stay there- they loved company, especially since they had a big house all to themselves and two spare rooms that were just sitting there.
"Well so can I!" Tai retorted. "Besides, the last time I checked, you couldn't read a map. Actually, the last time I checked, you told me you didn't know which direction south was. When did you magically develop map-reading skills?"
"I can't read complicated maps, and you don't even need to know where south is for this map! This is the most basic map I've ever seen!"
"Yama, girls can't read maps."
"What the fuck?" Yamato glared at his friend. "I'm not a fucking girl, Tai!"
"I never said you were. I'm just saying… girls can't read maps."
Yamato shot his friend a deathly glare and turned to look out the window, annoyed. It was going to be a long trip.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
"Shit, we're lost."
Yamato let out a long, frustrated sigh at his best friend's revelation.
"No shit. See, I told you- you were supposed to turn."
"No, I was right about that. I wasn't supposed to turn. But I think I missed a different turn, 'cause I don't know where the fuck we are."
"Great." Yamato shook his head. "Stop the car, Tai."
"Why?"
"Because it doesn't make sense to keep driving if we don't know where we're going!"
Tai shrugged in agreement and pulled over to the side of the road, stopping the car. It was dark out and the road was quite abandoned, so Yamato became somewhat alarmed when Tai opened the car door and stepped out.
"Are you crazy?" the blonde exclaimed, stepping out of the car also and looking around nervously. "We're in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night! Get back in the car before we get murdered and dragged off into the forest!"
Tai rolled his eyes. "Calm down. I need some fresh air, and we're not in the middle of nowhere. We've only been driving off-course for maybe a couple of hours."
Yamato's eyes widened. "What?"
"Shh, no need to shout."
"You drove for a couple of hours without knowing where we were going? Why didn't you say something earlier? Oh my God, we're going to die."
"Calm down, drama queen. I'll just look at the map and try to figure out what direction will get us back to the main road…"
"Why don't we just flag down the next car that passes and ask them? Wait, no- if we do that, we'll get killed for sure. Why don't we just call someone? I'll call my dad, or my uncle."
Yamato got out his phone, but Tai plucked it out of his hands.
"No! I can figure this out."
"Tai, are you kidding?" Yamato cried in frustration. "I don't want to fucking die!"
"You're not going to die! Besides, you've got no service out here anyway. Your phone is crap."
Yamato grabbed his phone back to find that he indeed had no service. He then reached into Tai's pocket to grab the other boy's phone which, to Yamato's dismay, had no service either.
"Shit! Fuck, what are we going to do?"
"Well, you can let me look at the map and try to figure out where we are, or you can keep bitching and we'll be stuck here for longer."
"I'm not bitching! And, fine, try to figure out the stupid map- but let's get back in the car!"
For the next fifteen minutes, Yamato kept quiet while Tai studied the map. As the minutes went by and still not a single car passed, his worry increased. Being on a deserted road in the middle of the night was not what he'd signed up for.
"Remind me never to drive up here with you ever again," Yamato muttered. "Ever."
"Yama, I'm seriously going to start pinching you every time you start bitching. And believe me; you don't want that… especially since we're going to be staying the night here."
"What?"
"Yeah, the map's not helping. I'll figure it out in the morning. It'll only set us back a little- we'll still have most of the weekend left."
Yamato stared at his brown-haired friend for several long moments. When he finally spoke, his voice was a low hiss.
"Are you fucking kidding me?"
"Nope. So, you want the back seat or what?"
Instead of responding, Yamato opened the car door and got out, slamming it shut behind him. Tai sighed to himself and took a deep breath before getting out as well.
"Yama, come on," he said, walking around to the other boy and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "It's just one night. We'll be fine, you're not going to die, and we'll be back on track in the morning. People get lost all the time. You're just paranoid."
"Yeah, tell me I'm paranoid when some crazy axe murderer comes and chops us up into little pieces," Yamato said bitterly.
"If some crazy axe murderer gets us, then I give you full permission to haunt me for all eternity."
"I can't haunt you if you're dead too, you dumbass."
Tai actually looked kind of hurt. "Hey, I'm just trying to make you feel better. No need to be all snappy."
Yamato let out a heavy sigh. Okay, maybe he was being a little harsh with Tai. He was honestly scared, though, and Tai was acting like it was no big deal.
"I'm sorry," Yamato muttered. "I just don't want to die out here."
"Are you really that scared?"
Yamato's silence was all the confirmation Tai needed.
"Alright, get in the car."
Yamato moved to get into the passenger seat but Tai stopped him, shaking his head.
"No, get in the back."
Not seeing a reason to argue, Yamato did. Tai got in beside him and shut the door behind them, then shook his head at Yamato's paranoia when the blond reached forward and made sure to lock the car doors.
"You need to relax," Tai declared.
"Don't you think I want to?" Yamato retorted.
Tai didn't respond- instead, he reached over and began unfastening the other boy's pants.
Yamato quickly batted Tai's hands away, his face instantly flushing red.
"What the fuck are you doing?" he exclaimed, hoping that the dark covered up his blush.
"Helping you relax," Tai said simply.
"How does that involve taking off my pants?"
"A blowjob will help you relax, am I right?"
Yamato felt his face heat up even more, and he felt a violent flutter in his stomach that made his breath shorten and his heart race.
"Tai!" was all he managed to get out, cursing the way his voice sounded so high.
"What?" Tai asked innocently. "You want to relax, right? So I'm going to help you relax."
"You can't just give me a blowjob!"
"Yama, shut up. Trust me, it'll make you feel better. You'll relax and go to sleep, we'll wake up in the morning and get back on track, and that'll be it."
Yamato was silent for several long moments. Finally he spoke, hesitantly.
"That's it?"
"That's it," Tai confirmed.
More silence. Then, so slight that Tai barely caught it in the dark, Yamato nodded.
Yamato swallowed a lump in his throat as he felt Tai's hands working again at his jeans. Tai was quick and within seconds, he had Yamato's jeans and boxers pulled down. He pushed the blonde gently to lean against the car door and then bent down, placing his lips over the semi-hard cock in front of him.
It was awkward. Yeah, it felt good in a weird kind of way, but Yamato was still uneasy about the whole situation. He kept looking down at what Tai was doing and then looking away, because he wasn't sure if he wanted to watch his best friend suck him off or not, and he wanted to break the tense silence… but it wasn't like he could just crack a joke or something to lighten the mood. Besides, it wasn't like Tai would even be able to respond for obvious reasons.
Yamato also didn't know what to do with his hands. They were hanging limply at his sides and he was itching to do something with them, but what? He couldn't touch Tai, that was for sure. That would just make things more awkward, right? And what about the moans that were sure to escape his throat? That would embarrass him more than he could even imagine.
Yamato's thoughts came to a sudden halt when Tai stopped and looked up, trying to meet Yamato's eyes. Yamato tried to look anywhere but Tai, shifting uncomfortably, and spoke.
"Why'd you stop?"
Tai didn't respond right away, and Yamato jumped a bit when Tai pressed a kiss to the inside of his thigh and then sucked gently. Why did that feel so good? Why the hell did it have to be Tai doing it to him?
The pressure of Tai's warm mouth moved to Yamato's stomach as Tai lifted the blonde's shirt briefly, and the sensation lingered even when Tai moved away and brought himself to Yamato's eye-level.
"You're supposed to be relaxing," he said. "You still seem pretty fucking tense to me."
Yamato let out a heavy sigh, letting his head rest back and closing his eyes. "What do you expect, Tai?"
Tai was silent and Yamato shook his head, opening his eyes and speaking again.
"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Just… forget it."
"No." Tai's voice was firm. "This will work. Just… pretend I'm a girl or something."
Yamato let out a dry laugh. "It's not that easy."
Tai sighed in frustration. "Well, fuck… what do you want me to do? I want to help you relax, Yama."
"There's nothing I can do either!" Yamato cried. "It's not my fault that it feels so fucking awkward!"
"It feels awkward 'because you're thinking too much about it! Don't think, just shut your brain down and relax!"
Neither boy spoke or moved for several moments. Then, finally, Yamato sighed.
"Fine… let's give it another try."
Tai didn't move, though, and Yamato looked at him inquisitively. Tai met his gaze unblinkingly and brushed a hand lightly over Yamato's cheek.
"Can I kiss you?" he murmured.
Yamato's heart leapt into his throat, rendering him speechless for quite a few moments. He opened his mouth, shut it, opened it again, and felt like an idiot when nothing came out.
Tai took that as a no and bent back down wordlessly, lips encircling Yamato's member once again. This time, Yamato forced all of his thoughts to the back of his mind and closed his eyes, trying to "relax". He tried to stop thinking about the fact that he was in the middle of nowhere, in the back seat of a car, having his best friend give him a blowjob… and the fact that said best friend had just randomly asked to kiss him.
Apparently his attempt to "relax" worked, because Yamato could swear what Tai was doing felt twice as good as it had before. He tried to hold back a moan, but it came out softly as Tai began bobbing his head up and down. Yamato bit his lip and opened his eyes, watching Tai's work intently. He was incredibly good at what he was doing, which made Yamato think he must've had practice. He didn't care, though, as long as Tai didn't stop.
It wasn't long before Yamato had his head tilted back in pleasure and his fingers buried in Tai's hair. He let out a groan and thrust gently into Tai's mouth, unable to stop himself. Tai didn't seem to mind, though- in fact, Yamato could swear the other boy seemed almost enthusiastic about it.
"Shit, Tai," Yamato breathed, biting his lip briefly, "I'm gonna fucking-"
He didn't get to finish his sentence, because Tai's tongue maneuvered in a way that pushed him over the edge. Moaning, Yamato reached his release- and, surprisingly, Tai swallowed every last drop.
Gently removing Yamato's hands from his head, Tai moved back up to blonde's eye-level and repeated his earlier question.
"Can I kiss you now?"
"You can do whatever the fuck you want," Yamato murmured, his mind still hazy with pleasure.
Tai chuckled lightly, then leaned in and pressed his lips to Yamato's chastely before pulling back.
"I'm serious. Can I kiss you? I mean, a real kiss?"
Yamato's gut told him to say yes. It would be stupid to say no, especially after Tai had just given him possibly the best blowjob of his life. But he hesitated. A kiss would make it that much more personal, give it that much more meaning. Did he really want to deal with that?
"It's okay," Tai said before the blonde could make up his mind. He slid across the seat and opened the opposite door, turning back to Yamato briefly before getting out.
"I'll be right back, 'kay?"
Without waiting for an answer, Tai got out of the car and shut the door. Yamato stared after him for a moment, replaying the last few seconds in his head to make sure he'd really seen what he'd seen.
Tai was hard. If he'd been trying to hide it, he hadn't succeeded. It wasn't that big of a deal but, considering the situation, it could mean several things.
Yamato fixed his boxers and his pants, then lay down across the back seat and closed his eyes. He was feeling kind of sleepy anyway, and if he was asleep that meant that he wouldn't be able to explore any of the ideas in his head. At that moment, not thinking about anything sounded very good indeed.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
When Yamato woke up, the first thing he noticed was that the car was moving. This alarmed him slightly and he quickly sat up to make sure that it was Tai driving and not some psycho killer.
Tai looked in the rearview mirror and flashed him a grin.
"Morning, sunshine!"
"Morning," Yamato replied, relieved. He ran a hand through his hair and briefly wondered just how bad it looked.
"You look fine," Tai said, seemingly having read Yamato's mind. "Now, get up here."
Yamato managed to climb from the back seat to the passenger seat quite skilfully and, once he was there, couldn't help but glance in the mirror. His hair wasn't too bad, but it could use some help once they reached his uncle's place.
"So we're back on track?" Yamato asked, noticing a few fresh scribbles on the map between them.
"Yup. I figured out where I made a wrong turn and once my cell phone got some reception back, I called your dad to make sure."
"Oh. Cool."
There was silence between the two boys for a few minutes. Yamato stared out the window, gathering his nerve. He'd never said thank-you to Tai for helping him "relax" the previous night, and it was well overdue. But how was he supposed to bring it up without making it awkward, especially after Tai had asked to kiss him and then gone to jack himself off afterwards? Yamato took a deep breath. He was just going to have to risk it being awkward.
"By the way… thanks."
"What, for getting us back on track? That was kind of necessary, don't you think?"
"No, not that. For…" Yamato shook his head. "You know what I'm talking about."
Tai took his eyes off of the road for a moment to look at Yamato. "Don't worry about it."
And that was it. Tai continued driving and there was no tension between them.
…but Yamato kind of didn't want that to be it, because he was kind of curious as to why Tai wanted to kiss him. Alright, he wasn't kind of curious- he was very curious.
"Tai?"
"Yeah?"
From Tai's tone of voice, Yamato knew that he knew what was coming.
"Did you really want to kiss me, last night?"
"Would I ask to kiss you if I didn't want to?"
"Just answer yes or no."
Tai sighed. "Yes, Yama, I really wanted to kiss you."
"Why?"
"I don't know, I just did."
"That's a shitty reason."
"Well, sorry," Tai said with a hint of sarcasm.
Yamato frowned a bit. He just did? What kind of a reason was that? It didn't satisfy Yamato's curiosity at all.
"So you just randomly felt like kissing me?" he pressed.
"Yes, Yama, I just randomly felt like kissing you."
"You're such a liar!" Yamato exclaimed, frustrated. "You can't just randomly want to kiss someone for no reason!"
"Just forget about it. I told you we'd drop it in the morning. You're not dropping it."
"That's because I don't understand how you could just randomly want to kiss me!"
Tai sighed in annoyance. "I'd just finished giving you a fucking blowjob, of course I wanted to kiss you! It's only natural!"
"Was going to jack off afterwards natural too?"
Tai turned to gape at Yamato, but quickly turned his attention back to the road after nearly driving into a ditch.
"You were fucking moaning and shit! Of course I got fucking hard! It is a fucking natural reaction!"
"I was just saying…"
Silence fell over the boys once again, but not for long. Tai pulled the car over to the side of the road, stopping temporarily and turning to face Yamato with a frown.
"What the fuck do you want from me, Yama? Honestly."
"Honestly?" Yamato shrugged his shoulders helplessly. "I don't know."
"Then fucking drop it."
The rest of the ride was silent. Yamato knew he'd pissed Tai off a little bit, but he was kind of annoyed as well because… well, Tai still hadn't answered his question. 'I just did' was the lamest answer ever. Yamato didn't bring it up again, though, because he knew Tai would be seriously pissed off if he did.
"Finally you boys made it!" Yamato's uncle exclaimed when they pulled into the driveway and got out of the car. He got up from where he was sitting on the front porch and walked over to where they were unpacking their things out of the trunk of the car. "How was the drive?"
"Long," was Tai's response.
"We got lost," Yamato added.
"Yes, your father told me. Hopefully you'll be alright on the way back. Anyway, Emma's inside waiting for you two. I think she baked some cookies."
Yamato and Tai followed Jim into the house and to the living room, where Emma was indeed waiting with cookies. Blazer and Rocha, she and Jim's two dogs, were also waiting.
Emma greeted the boys warmly, as did the dogs. After chatting a bit, Tai went outside to play fetch with the dogs and Jim went out to run an errand, which left Yamato and Emma alone.
"Well?" Emma prompted Yamato, raising an eyebrow expectantly.
"Well what?" Yamato asked, confused.
"You and Tai haven't been acting like your regular selves. What's going on?"
Yamato and Emma were very close, despite not being related by blood. Yamato knew he could talk to her about anything… but he just didn't feel like talking about this particular situation.
"We just had a bit of a fight on the way over," Yamato avoided the question. "It's no big deal, we'll be fine."
"If you say so." Emma didn't look convinced.
Instead of going to the beach that day- it was already too late to start heading out to the beach anyway-, Yamato and Tai hung around the house with Jim and Emma and then went out to dinner with them. They all watched a movie together when they got home and then watched TV for a while before heading to bed. Yamato was kind of glad that they'd spent the day with his aunt and uncle, because that meant he'd been able to avoid being alone with Tai and feeling awkward. He didn't know how he'd survive the next day, though, because even though they'd be with Sora and Mimi, he was bound to be alone with Tai at some point.
Yamato couldn't sleep knowing that there was still tension lingering between him and Tai. He tossed and turned for quite some time before getting up and quietly making his way down the hall to the next bedroom, where Tai was sleeping. Apparently the brunette hadn't been able to sleep either because when Yamato sat down at the edge of the bed, Tai spoke immediately.
"What's up?" he asked, shifting in the bed.
"I can't sleep," Yamato replied, tracing patterns in the sheets with his finger.
"Huh."
There was silence for a few moments, then Tai sat up and motioned for Yamato to move closer. "Come here."
Yamato slid over and didn't protest when he felt Tai's fingers tug at the waistband of his boxers. After all, he did need to relax.
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