As I said in the summary, I credit dantesdarkqueen for this brief moment of insanity. She said she couldn't see Reeve Tuesti dancing in one of her Queen's Quorners in "Evidence of Sephiroth's Humanity," but, sadly, I can. Also sadly, the Bee Gees got involved somehow… so thank you to http://www.eddy. for the exact lyrics.

Oh, right. I do not own any of these characters, but Square-Enix does. So this is merely for my (and hopefully your) amusement.

So, without further Linwë-babble, on with the show!

Dinner and a Show

"We're going downtown to pick some stuff up, Reeve," Tifa Lockhart said, poking her head into the kitchen, where the commissioner was chopping vegetables. "Do you need anything?"

Reeve turned, and his friends saw he was wearing an apron that said "Kiss the Cook." Cloud barely repressed a snicker. Reeve looked down. "It was the only one we could find in storage, Cloud. Grow up. No, Tifa. I don't think…" He looked at his veggies. "Oh, wait. Could you please pick up some leeks, and maybe some tomatoes, if you can find any good ones?"

"Of course," the pretty brunette replied. "We'll be back well in time for dinner."

"Thanks." He went back to his chopping. A few minutes later, he looked up. "It's far too quiet in here," he said to himself. He plugged in his counter stereo and turned on the CD in it. Cloud and Barret made fun of him for listening to the Bee Gees, but they weren't here now. "Much better." He swayed in time to the music, humming as he dumped the vegetables into a pan.

As he waited for the veggies to steam, he started singing along. After all, he was there by himself. "Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man: no time to talk."

Getting into the music, he started dancing as he seasoned the chicken. "Music loud and women warm, I've been kicked around since I was born." He boogied over to the fridge to get the cilantro.

"And now it's all right. It's OK. And you may look the other way. We can try to understand the New York Times' effect on man." Turning on another burner and putting some oil and the chicken in the pan, he grooved over to start the garlic bread. As he mixed garlic and melted butter in a bowl, he kept wiggling his hips and singing.

"Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother, you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin', and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive."

After putting the bread in the oven, he gave into the urge to dance, and discoed around the kitchen, eyes closed.

"Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive."

Unbeknownst to Reeve, Cloud and Tifa had come back, and were staring in through the door. Cloud was turning beet red, trying to hold in the laughter, and even Tifa had to put her hand over her mouth to keep from giggling.

"Well now, I get low and I get high, and if I can't get either, I really try. Got the wings of heaven on my shoes. I'm a dancin' man and I just can't lose."

"Hello," Vincent Valentine started to say, and the other two shushed him. He raised an eyebrow, and looked in the door. The other eyebrow went up as well when he saw Reeve in his apron, disco-dancing in the kitchen and singing.

"You know it's all right. It's OK. I'll live to see another day. We can try to understand
the New York Times' effect on man."

Vincent was about to break the man's concentration, out of pity, but both Cloud and Tifa grabbed him.

"Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother, you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin', and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive."

To the disappointment of the couple, Reeve opened his eyes after the chorus. However, that did mean they could stop trying not to laugh. Tifa burst into a fit of giggles, and Cloud just howled, leaning against the doorframe. Vincent's lips twitched, but he managed to control himself. "How long have you been here?" Reeve choked out, scarlet.

"I just got here," Vincent replied, "but I have a feeling these loons have been here awhile."

Tifa got a hold on herself long enough to reply, "Just after the first chorus," and started giggling again.

Reeve gave Vincent a beseeching look. "Why do I have the feeling I'm not going to hear the end of this for at least a week?"

At the pathetic expression on his face, even Vincent's cool reserve cracked, and he chuckled. "A week? Reeve, you'll be lucky if you ever hear the end of it."