Best Of HP & Tekken
A/N: Thank God it's Thursday! First week back wasn't exactly a picnic! ( Glances at
Sophomore level Phys, Chem, Bio & Calculus books on her desk). Arrrgh! How I
miss good old Algebra & Geometry! Anyway, I don't own either Tekken or Harry
Potter. Feel free to check out my other works, mainly "An Alternate Life" and
"Strong and Streetwise". And if you feel that humour/parody is not my forte, you
can check out my brother's " Detour in Detroit".
(Harry, Ron and Hermione suddenly appear on the spot)
Harry: Did it work Hermione?
Hermione: I-I don't know, Harry!
Ron: Bloody hell! Hermione, what timeline is this?
Harry: Look, it doesn't matter, we've got to warn the Muggles of Voldemort's plans!
The trio rush over to the first group of people they see- the Tekken crew!
Harry: Hey, there; we need to talk!
Hwoarang(noticing the robes and hats): The hell is that? We got our own freak show, you know(points at Yoshi, the bears, the kangaroo, Paul, King and Bryan)
Hermione(rolling her eyes): Ha-bloody-ha!
Hwoarang: Hey, you're hot!(gets punched by Asuka) Ouch!
Ron(steps up to Hwoarang):First, it was that ruddy pumpkin-head Krum, now it's a bloke who looks like he's been snorting Wartroot Powder in Knockturn Alley!
Hwoarang: Dude, what's your problem?( To Hermione): Hey, babe, I'm the world's sexiest red-head, not your pal Freckles!
Ron: Piss off!
Lily: Mind zee language!Mon Dieu, are all zee red-heads zat bad?!( "floats" away with her nose in the air and her sheet of silvery blonde hair flowing behind her).
Ron(dazed): Fleur?
Hermione: Ron!
Harry: Will you just listen people?! We've taken a Timeturner to your timeline to warn you-
Xiaoyu( in a high-pitched voice): A Timeturner! You mean just like my time machine?(giggles)
Ron(stares at Xiao's pigtails and pink bangles): Blimey, just when I thought no-one could be any weirder than Loony Lovegood!
Xiao(giggles some more): Say hello to these nice people, Panda!
Ron(stares at Panda with all her customized items): Bloody hell! And I thought Scabbers was an awful pet!
Harry: Enough already! Like I was saying, we- ( notices Hwoarang's motorcycle and Yoshimitsu's sword.)Hey, that's Sirius's bike, and that's Gryffindor's sword! How did you...
Hwoarang(Pulls Harry's hat over his eyes): Beat it, geek!
Hermione: Stop it! You're the most appalling person I've ever had the misfortune to meet!
Hwoarang: Whoa!(Looks at Asuka then at Hermione then back at Asuka): Sorry, Asuka babe, but you're officially dumped.
Asuka:...
She suddenly charges Hermione, and they engage in a catfight. Asuka has the upper hand of course.
Jin( doing his boring Katas): Are you done already? I have some old family scores to settle, you know!
Ron: For Goodness' sake, Hemione, you're a witch!
Hermione: Right!
She uses her wand to cast a full Body Bind Curse on Asuka.
Hermione: That takes care of that. Now you were saying Harry?
But before Harry can utter a word- BANG!
Gruff voice: Never-BANG-look up-BANG-a girl's skirt-BANG-when her back is-BANG-turned!
Everyone turns around to see Mad Eye Moody and Nymphadora Tonks. Moody is pointing his wand at a ginger ferret bobbing up and down in the air.
Ron: Wicked!
Tonks: Wotcha Harry! Sorry about that( turns Hwoarang back into himself with a flick of her wand)
Moody: Just came to make sure you weren't being followed, Potter. And Miss Granger, remember: CONSTANT VIGILANCE!
Everyone jumps
Xiao: Awwww! Hwoarang made such a cuddley little ferret!(suddenly squeals with delight at Tonks's bubble-gum pink hair): Oh my Gosh, your hair is so awesome! Do mine the same! Please, Please!( Bounces on the balls of her feet like the hyper girl she is).
Tonks: Maybe some other time.( Disapparates with Moody)
Harry(running his hands through his hair with frustration): Are you prepared to listen now?!
Xiao(noticing Harry's scar): Oh my Gosh, your scar is soooo kawaii, just like Jin-Jin's tattoo! Another Fatal Lightning, yay!
Jin: Hey, I'm the one and only Fatal Lightning!
Hwoarang(shoves him aside): Shut up, loser, at least the geek here DOES have a lightning shaped scar.
Harry: All right! That's it!( Casts a Silencing Charm on everyone): Lord Voldemort's coming to this timeline! He's this psycotic murderer who killed my parents! And now he wants to take over! But we musn't let him, and you're going to help us stop him!(He removes the Silencing Charm)
Hwoarang: Dude, go easy on the LSD!
Pops are suddenly heard. Everyone turns around to see Lucius and his son Draco
Lucius: I really don't have time for filthy Muggle talk. Hand over the boy! He belongs to the Dark Lord!
Ron and Hermione step defensively in front of Harry
Hermione: If you want Harry, you must get through us first!
Draco: Pot Head's not a saint; at least not in this timeline! It's that one the Dark Lord wants(points at Jin)
Everyone gasps
Hwoarang( Looks at Steve, then at the Malfoys then back at Steve): That's it; I'm kicking your ass for being related to these freaks!
Steve: What? Just because of the accent and the hair?! Why, why did Namco have to make me blond and British?!( runs off crying)
In the fight that follows, the good guys are overpowered by Dark Magic, and the Malfoys grab Jin and Disapparate with him.
At Number 12, Grimmauld Place,
Jin comes to, finds himself bound on the floor, and sees none other than Lord Voldemort staring down at him
Voldemort: So we meet at last, Chosen One, Child of Destiny, and of Darkness and Light.
Jin: And Fatal Lightning, if you please!
Voldemort: I shall destroy you, wipe all traces of your existence, just as I have done with my filthy Muggle father and grandfather.
Jin: You actually had a score to settle with your predecessors? Great, that must mean I'm not the only revenge-driven emo around here! Can you tell me how you did it?
Voldemort:...
Pops are heard as Harry, Ron & Hermione Apparate into the room with the young Tekkenites and Kazuya Mishima
Kazuya: No-one messes with the Mishimas and lives to tell the tale!(left eye glows)
Voldemort(eyes glowing too): ABRA KADABRA, no wait, AVADA KEDAVRA!
Kazuya dodges and transforms into Devil, then battles Voldemort. The blasts awaken the portrait of Sirius's mother
Sirius's Mum: MUTANT! FREAK! YOU DARE DEFILE THE HOUSE OF MY FATHERS!
Kazuya(sends a laser beam at her portrait): Shut up, you old hag!
Meanwhile Xiao and the rest free Jin who is eager to join in the battle. Voldemort sends a killing curse at Kazuya.
Jin: Oh, no you don't! I spent my entire 21 years plotting to kill my father! You won't ruin it for me now!
The curse hits him and surprisingly rebounds back on Voldemort, who disappears with a cry of agony and a blast of green light.
Ron: Bloody hell! What just happened?
Harry: Voldemort's vanquished? But how, I'm the Chosen One, the one who's supposed to finish him off!
Hwoarang: How can a geek like you finish anything? Man, that freak was pretty strong, how could a wuss like Kazama beat him?
Kazuya: I don't believe this! That bastard son of mine stole my glory once more!
Xiao: Jin-Jin saved the day, yay!
Authoress: Don't you get it you fools? Jin Kazama vanquished Voldemort because he has one thing in common with Harry Potter; his mother Jun Kazama died for him, just like Lily Potter died for Harry! Old magic, lingering protection etc...
Everyone: Oh...
Epilogue: Harry, Ron & Hermione return to their original timeline
Harry: Some adventure...
Hermione: It wasn't that bad really...
Ron: That redheaded prat, though!
Hermione: Oh, don't worry about him; he'll learn his lesson.
Tekken Timeline
Hwoarang is trying to look up Julia's skirt.
Steve: Great Scott!
Hwoarang: What?
Steve: Your bloody face!
Hwoarang rushes off to a restroom and looks in the mirror. His face is covered with angry red boils spelling the word
"PERVERT"
Hwoarang: Shit...
A/N: I do hope you enjoyed this. Please, people, review,okay?