No More Girl Names: Under Pressure

Chapter 1 (Summery): When JD's cousin Cassidy comes from New York to visit Scared Heart as an intern, JD faces insults, blasts from the past, and under goes pressure to making grown up decisions that stress him close to insanity. And of course, Dr. Cox and the crazy Janitor are mostly to blame with girl names, practical jokes and the return of the Janitor's KNIFE WRENCH! (2nd season I think, I dunno, one where Dr. Cox and Jordan are divorced.)

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Scrubs; I do however own your ass!

"For the last time, Gloria, I don't care who this guy Cassidy is, but if he is ANYTHING like you, I want nothing, and I repeat NOOOTHING to do with him. If I remember correctly you were the most obnoxious intern from hell. You're on your own for showing him around."

At that Dr. Cox turned his back anxiously on JD and walked away briskly towards a patient's room. JD ran after him in panic, breathing nervously into Dr. Cox's ear, which bugged the shit out of him making him wince.

"But, Dr. Cox! Cassidy and I haven't been in touch for ages! And frankly, I just want to have as little communication as I can with he-,"

Dr. Cox stopped and turned to him in mid sentence. He frowned, rolling his eyes and shaking his head all knowingly.

"How can you NOT talk to him if he'll be LIVING with you? Hmm, Margaret?"

JD was a little stunned at his outburst. His mouth tried searching for an answer.

"I-I… well…"

Dr. Cox tilted his head sideways and batted his lashes.

"You think about that. In the mean time, I guess I could live with showing Cassidy around for you. It'll be my one good deed to you for the next 10 years. Okay Monica?"

JD sighed with relief and nodded gratefully. Dr. Cox knew he would never live it down for helping him. He shoved his charts into JD's hands and headed to the front desk with out even blinking an eye.

"Take my patients today and do not kill anyone!"

Dr. Cox waited, leaning against the front desk, exchanging disturbing glances with Lavern, the African-American religious desk operator that scared the crap out of him. Finally he arched his eyebrows suspiciously at her.

"What the hell are you doing?" He said.

"Psshh, I was wondering the exact same thing. What the hell are you doing down here?"

He took a deep breath, trying to hide the agonizing pain JD was putting him through.

"I'm waiting for someone, a transferred intern from New York. He's supposed to be here by now."

He looked down at his wrist, wondering if he changed his watch for day lights savings. Lavern scanned her sign-in sheet and nodded, looking back up at him over her glasses.

"Is it Cassidy Dorian? Boy she's been waitin' in the waitin' room for a tour 'round the hospital."
Dr. Cox frowned confused. He extended his hand to Loran to see the sign-in list. It confirmed that in fact, Cassidy had been waiting for him for an half an hour. The name "Cassidy Dorian" was signed in curvy, fruity penmanship. He looked to Lavern panicked.

"You said Cassidy is a-"

Lavern took another heavy breath and stood up, taking Dr. Cox by the arm and roughly ushered him to the waiting room. She looked over in the direction of a woman reading a magazine. She nodded and let go of him, pushing him toward her and walking away.

Dr. Cox took a moment to stand in complete shock of who he was staring at. She had long, dark brown hair that curled into loose ringlets at the end. Her skin seemed smooth and naturally bronzed. Her long legs, crossed over one another, made him want to grab her out of her chair, kiss her hard and make sweet love to her on the front counter. He had never felt so sexually attracted to someone; his eyes drank her in, studying her face slowly praying to God she didn't get JD's Jew nose. Luckily she didn't, and as he sighed with relief, she looked up from her magazine, shooting an eyebrow upward. Her eyes sank into him, a kind blue/ gray color with harsh black lashes. Her lips tightened before she spoke to him.

"Do you need something?"

He blinked slowly a couple of times like an idiot, breathless and speechless, a bad combination for a quick witted egocentric doctor like himself.

"I-I…uhhmm… show you around?"

Cassidy rolled her almond-shaped eyes and put down the Star magazine. She lifted herself from the seat and brushed the wrinkles out of her skirt.

"Okay, couple of questions. One, Why are you late? Two, how long have you been standing there? And three, would you stop looking at my boobs?!"

His jaw hit the floor. She didn't even know his name and she was being controlling and demanding? It was too good to be true for him. Like wow! He decided to ignore her questions to refrain from sounding sexist.

"She's so God damn hot! Shit, I want to tell her, but I'll sound sexist. She's so hot she's making me sexist… wow… bitch." He thought.

"Uh, well, look do you want me to show you around the hell hole or not? Cause I'd rather not show you around the hell hole. It would mean humiliation to me about the fact that I'm actually doing something nice for once in my life to a chin-less hyena. Also you would have to go through the unbearable torture, as well as I, to talk to the many people I cannot stand. So, can we make this easy? Cafeteria on your left, Dr. Kelso's office down the hall, the gym's behind you and the patients stay on the right. Got it? Great."

He turned around quickly and let out a long, low breath before beginning to walk away from her. He felt pretty good, until she came up behind him and aggressively grabbed his shoulders, spun him around and pinned him to the nearest wall. He was a bit intrigued by this unexpected move, but got a bit tense and worried when he realized he couldn't move his torso. He struggled and grabbed her wrists, trying to push her off.

"What the fuck do you think your doing?!" He grunted, pushing her with his knees as she pinned his pelvis down with her thighs.

"What the fuck was that back there? Just because you hate my cousin you automatically hate me? I don't even know you!"

"Exactly, so I think this is a little too close for comfort-"

"Shut up. My turn to talk. Look, I hate JD as much as you do. He's annoying, he likes to hug people too much, he was meant to be a woman until his umbilical cord got stuck in his crotch, and he day dreams. You think working with him is hard? I'm going to have to work and live with him. So suck it up Cox. Oh, and I know you're name is Perry Cox because you wear a name tag, so don't even bother."

They both stood there, out of breath and panting. She continued to pin him to the wall, in fact she now pushed down on him harder, as he was so stunned he had forgotten to fight back. Her hot breath tickled his neck. He felt himself tremble under her power.

"Oh my God I love you." He said, only a hint louder then a whisper. She gazed into his eyes seriously.

"You married?"

"Divorced." He breathed.

The corners of her mouth twisted up into a seductive smirk.

"Good." She said as she let her grip go, falling into him and grabbing his neck pulling him into a kiss. Hard. Passionate. Devastating.

He didn't know what to do. At first he wanted to push her off and bitch slap her, but only later when the kiss became more interesting, he let his hands fall to her waist and held her gently.

Just then JD was walking to the Cafeteria. He passed them and paid no attention at first, until he realized who it was.

"HOLY SHIT!! What the HELL do you think you're doing?!!"

Cassidy released her lips slowly from Dr. Cox, paying no attention to JD behind her. Dr. Cox was so completely entranced by her. He ran his fingers sweetly through her hair, and only then did he look over her head to notice JD. They stared at each other for what seemed to be a long time, both shocked at the sight of the other. Cassidy noticed Dr. Cox's expression and slowly turned around, most likely more for emphasis then nervousness. She glared into JD, putting her hands on her hips. Dr. Cox blinked a couple times in confusion and shook his head to JD.

"No-uh…. JD I-,"

"How could you? I just asked you to show her around!"

"But I didn't!"

"YES YOU DID I JUST SAW YOU DIP SHIT!"

Dr. Cox's eyes narrowed, penetrating into JD's face, he tensely chewed the side of his cheek to refrain from biting off JD's head.

"JD…stop…" He hissed behind clenched teeth. JD didn't get the hint.

"NO I WON'T!" He scratched the back of his neck and took a breath to calm down.

"You are… were, my mentor and she's my fucking cousin!"

He walked away leaving Dr. Cox in a devastated shock. Cassidy turned to him and sighed, putting her hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay Perry. He'll get over it. I mean, it's not like we're in love."

His expression changed as he looked into her eyes. He could feel his heart being torn out of his chest and stabbed. His mouth partly gaped at her as he searched for words.

"I-I…Cassidy?"

She giggled lightly. Her mouth twisted back up into a smirk.

"Perry, you didn't really think-,"

"I-uh…need to go" He removed her hand from his shoulder and turned his back on her, walking away with his tail between his legs and his head hanging sorrowfully. As he headed to his office, he past the Janitor, who was wearing a scary grin on his face.

The Janitor was on his way to talk to JD. He found him talking to Turk, who was supporting him fully in everything he said, trying to hide the fact he wasn't listening. JD could have said "And Turk is an ass licking idiot" and Turk would respond the same. "You got it man!"

He approached the two friends carefully, hiding an object behind his back.

"Hey guys how's it going. Hey cheese head, I heard about your cousin and your mentor. That sucks."

JD sighed. "Yeah I guess."
"You wanna cry?"

"What?!"
"Let's think. You need to cry, I could hit you over the head with a wrench, or I could stab you in the gut with a knife."
JD and Turk just looked at one another with a most fearful expression as the Janitor whipped out the object behind his back, it turned out to be a knife welded on the opposite end of a wrench. JD and Turk spoke to each other panicked.

"Oh no! Not the-,"Said Turk and JD in unison.

"KNIFE WRENCH!!"

End Chapter 1

Author's Notes: This is the END! Of chapter uno. Aww! Don't you just love Cassidy! (If you do, you are seriously fucked up.) But hey, she'll get cooler, and yes, Doctor Kelso, Elliot, Carla, Ted And etc come in later. So, as it is just so me to leave you hanging, I'm going to do a soap opera narrator ending.

cue organ

Will JD ever forgive Dr. Cox?

What terrible thing happened in the past between Cassidy and JD?

Does Elliot have a new rival for hottie?

And wtf is up with the knife wrench?!?!