Zim trudged down the pathway to his house, utterly regretting having gone to school that day. A teacher had been absent for some reason, a, "fever", or something, and the already unbearable fifth grade class had had to watch a bunch of younger worm babies…Winter Gardeners, or something. As if the day hadn't been bad enough…
"GIIIIRRRRRR!! I have been struggling at that "school" all day long, and what FOR? To come home and find YOU messing with the compuTERRRS?" Zim cried in utter angst. GIR jumped to his feet and held out a piece of paper.
"I's writin' a song! Ya wants ta HEEEEEEAR it?" Zim swatted the piece of paper and it fell rather uneventfully to the floor.
"NO! I take no pride in listening to songs from the likes of YOU!" GIR ran to the paper and picked it back up, dusting it off vigorously.
"But I worked really, REALLY hard on it!"
"Any song of your creaTION…"
"But I didn't make the whole thing! I took the song from the M&M guy!" GIR protested.
"M&M is an earth candy, GIR, not a music arTIIST!"
"Well, the M&M guy who does the funny rap stuff!"
"Eminem?" Zim asked.
"YEAH! THAT GUY!"
"Well, what did you write?" GIR laughed vociferously, (that means loudly, for all you illiterate fools out there), pressed a button on a nearby boombox, and began to rap. Zim took a seat and prepared himself for a monumental amount of vigorous eye twitching and bleeding ears.
………………………………………………..
Just Lose It (GIR style)
Guess who's back?
Back again
Gir is back
He's Irken
Whaaaaaaaa
Now everyone report to the dance floor
To the dance floor, to the dance floor
Now everyone report to the dance floor
Alright Stop!...It's piggie time!
Come here little piggies, on my lap
Guess who's back with a brand new snack?
And I don't mean snack as in a new case
Of Irken in-vas-ion accusation.
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
No worries, Gir has got a brand new bag of snacks
What else could I possibly do to make cracks?
I done zapped up everything, but Apple/Macs!
That's not a stab at PCs,
That's just a metaphor, I throw feces!
I am a little green doggie sometimes
I get a little bit out of control with my dimes
Good God, dip, ooh, a slot machine!
I am random; gray, aqua green
In the center of the dance floor
I got moves, lasers, and more
And it's cool if you let one go
Nobody's gonna know, who'd hear it?
Give a little "poot poot", it's OK! (Fart Sound)
Haha you just farted!
And everyone just heard me say you did!
Now I'm gonna make you dance
It's your chance
Yeah moose shake that ass
Oops I mean pig, pig's a jerk!
Gir, you know you're my Irk!
Alright now lose it
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Just lose it
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Gir's crazy
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Oh baby
(HA-HA)
Oh baby, baby
(HA-HA)
It's Friday and it's my day
Zim is at skool all the way to Monday
Maybe til Thursday, I dunno what day
Everyday's just my holiday!
Crusin' channels freely
Always watchin' TV
Got my suit on, lettin' my jets go
I dunno where I'm goin'
All I know is when I get there
Someone's gonna "touch my piggie"
Excuse me moose, I don't mean to sound like a jerk
But I'm feelin' a little homesick for planet Irk
Could you punch me in the squiggly spooch? Over there!
Spit on me, maybe steal my cupcake? (Yeah)
Now, what's your name pig?
Let's go ZOOM!
(Zim-) "Gir, you must be in the mood for DOOM!"
Zim! (HA-HA)
Brainfreezy! OOF!
I just wanna be a mongoose I'm
Now I'm gonna make you dance
It's your chance
Yeah moose shake that ass
Oops I mean pig, pig's a jerk
Gir, you know you're my Irk
Alright now lose it
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Just lose it
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Gir's crazy
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Oh baby
(HA-HA)
Oh baby, baby
(HA-HA)
It's Tuesday and I'm at home
I'm on Earth and I don't know what happened
They say that I used to be a SIR
Up on Irk screamin
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Well I'm sorry, I don't remember
All I know is this much
Now I have a G
They said, "It's not stupid; it's advanced"
To Zim when I'm sayin' 'Touch my piggie!'"
Now this is the part with a big loud BOOM
I took out my guidance for cupcake room
Everything looks like it's Irken DOOM!
The tuna's back and everybody leaves like ZOOM
Snap back to reality
Look it's G. Rabbit
The tallest stuffed my empty head?
What'd they put in?!
Chubba chubba chubba chubba chubba chubbie
Two monies, a gumball, a paperclip, and a screw, tell me!
Fella's (WHAT!) Fella's (WHAT!)
Grab your left pig, make right one jealous (what?)
Black pigs
White pigs
Skinny pigs
Fat pigs
Tallest
Smallest
I'm callin' all…est?
Everyone report to the dance floor
It's a moose for a little mongoose whore
Dib teasin' it's the season
Just go (HA-HA-HA-HA)
His big head's pleasin'!
Now I'm gonna make you dance
It's your chance
Yeah moose shake that ass
Oops I mean pig, pig's a jerk
Gir, you know you're my Irk
Alright now lose it
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Just lose it
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Gir's crazy
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)
Oh baby
(HA-HA)
Oh baby, baby
(HA-HA)
UmMmMmm touch my piggie
UmMmMmm touch my piggie
Ooh moose just touch my piggie
I mean pig just touch my piggie…piggie…piggie…
……………………………………………………………….
"So, what did ya think, Zim?" The eye twitching and ear bleeding preparation simply wasn't enough. Zim proceeded to fall out of his chair, and, slumped on the floor, began to twitch visibly. GIR did not seem to care. In fact…
"Do ya wants an ENNNCORRE?"