Hey! We have returned… you may remember us from The Roger Theories. It is us! HOORAY! (Yep, the author's link may say that this is just Arie, but… in REALITY it is Arie and her cuz… AGAIN! Which means that is basically a recipe for disaster.

Sarah: Like muffin recipes? (is hyped on muffins)

Arie: Um… sure… Sarah… like muffin recipes. Whatever makes you feel special.

Sarah: Ok, we should probably start the story now.

Arie: NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Ok.

This is the companion piece to our first epic ROGER analysis-kamambob. Yes, that's what it was. This however is not a listfic. (Which according to Microsoft Word is not a word.)

OK THIS IS IMPORTANTE. MUY IMPORTANTE! (We're in Spanish class, can you tell?) If we have author's notes in the story (which we likely will) they will appear in BOLD and BRACKETS.

If there are PARENTHESES that is the CHARACTER, who is, in this case. ROGER. As in, ROGER DAVIS. Not to be confused with Roger Davies from Harry Potter.

Sarah: Ok, I think this is a long enough note, because we also have an introduction. And these people don't care about our lives.

Arie: Yeah. It's the RENT peoples' lives they care about. They're more interesting anyway.

Ok, that is all.

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INTRODUCTION

(to be pronounced in a very strange accent, like so: IN-TRRRODUCCTIIIOONNN!)

Let's see… it says in our notes for our introduction that we need to put something. Hmmmm. Well, we suppose then. We should put something. Hold on, let us clear our throats. Ok, that was nasty, we're glad you didn't actually hear that.

Readers: GET ON WITH THE INTRODUCTION ALREADY!

Ok, alright. PUSHY. Anyway… this introduction is basically the story of how we GOT the story. If that makes sense.

Let us begin with a question: You know that journal that Roger writes Your Eyes in on that bus? Well, that's NOT JUST FOR SONGWRITING.

How do we know this, you ask? We're kinda sorta looking at it right now. (It has Hello Kitty on the front… cute, Roger.)

And how did we come to acquire such a valuable object? Boy, you guys are just full of questions today.

Here's the scoop. We went to New York City, you know, to see Adam and Anthony come back to the show, you know? And just might have gone on the "full RENT Tour" of NYC. We went to the Life Café, Tompkins Square Park, and the East

Village. Whilst eating our thirteen orders of fries, we decided to go "urban exploring".

We wandered through Alphabet City, because we were determined not to ignore the chances of accidentally happening to stumble upon Mark and Roger's awesome loft pad.

Well… that's what happened. True story. We FOUND their loft. And… (Added BONUS) the door was conveniently unlocked. So technically what we did next could not be classified as "breaking and entering". Merely "entering." And since when is ENTERING someplace illegal? Since NEVER!

Is it? If so… well, don't tell anyone. Pwease?

So, how exactly did we know that this glorious living space was indeed the loft of the Boho Boys? And not some similarly decorated (with trash, empty bottles, dust, etc.) apartment?

It's quite simple. There, draped over that ratty old chair was a blue and white striped scarf.

At that moment, we smelled Mark. (Not literally.)

But that's not all. Nearby was a beaten-up Fender guitar case.

Sniff. Sniff sniff sniffity sniff. And the aroma of Roger wafted to our nostrils.

So… we did what any naturally obsessed and excited RENThead would do. WE RAIDED THEIR FRIDGE! (There wasn't much in there… the only thing we found that was of any interest was this bunch of grapes with this weird fuzzy stuff ALL OVER them.)

That's in my kitchen right now. (No, no really!)

OH! But there was Captain Crunch sitting on their countertop. It tasted yummy.

After that, OF COURSE we went through their belongings! And we aren't ashamed. WE PUT EVERYTHING BACK.

Well. Almost everything… ahem. We are not stalkers. Just because we stole a pair of their underwear (in Roger's case, plaid boxers) and have them mounted on our wall DOES NOT MAKE US STALKERS.

But that's not what we're here to tell you about. In the bathroom, between the toilet and wall (Why were we looking there? Well, we did tell you we went through EVERYTHING. We kinda meant it.) was a treasure of immeasurable proportions.

This diary.

This of course made us wonder if Roger writes in his diary while on the toilet. But that's beside the point. (What? It is a GOOD QUESTION!)

So here's what we're going to do. It is our duty to you (because of COURSE we took the DIARY!) to select the most interesting, entertaining and JUICY entries from said diary.

Here's the catch: Roger can't find out. So… you as readers must cooperate with us on this. We'll give you the stories, and YOU will say absolutely NOTHING about us doing so.

That clear?

Because Roger would be SO ANGRY! And the last thing we want is for Roger to be ANGRY with us. We LOVE him so very much… and then he probably wouldn't give us a hug! Oh, the terror!

So, if we have come to some sort of understanding about the situation, you may proceed to reading the entries we will provide. If not, GO AWAY MEANIES!