PHILOSOPHIES FOR THEIR HATRED

Wait for me Re-write by RYOUKOx

"First and foremost and ItachiXSakura fic, Kay ;)?"

Disclaimer I do not own Naruto, but I'll take my chances with Itachi.

Italics-FLASHBACKS

Chapter Six.

Outward. Onward. Forward.

Uzamaki Naruto

It took me a long while to climb the cold steps of the Hogake tower; everyday it seemed to get steeper and my legs seemed to strain even at the thought. Funny though I thought; the times where I'd fly up these steps with no care whatsoever happily making a fool of myself as I stumbled around and tripped over my own feet.
I guess this is what getting older does to you, I chuckled as I reached the top and leaned out of one of the large glass-less windows taking a long sigh, reflecting on this already strange day I tried concentrating as hard as I could on the strange man i'd seen earlier.

At first glance I couldn't dare remember if I'd seen him before or not, his face was unfamiliar- as was his general look. He was quite a few years older than me and wasn't wearing a headband and so I was pretty sure he would have just been one of the town's people, yet I don't know what it was about him that made me focus so intently.
His stance had this commonly placed part; a memorableness about it that made me jolt to a stop so quickly it was almost death defying.

But what was there to remember if I'd never seen him before? but as I'd decided not to dwell into it, I shook it off and took another sigh before turning to face the "Hokage Hallway" as it had been so simply named by the genin over the years.

I took my time stuffing my hands deep down into my pockets and shuffling my feet along the floor making little dust clouds, I guess I must've gotten caught up into watching my feet 'cause as I looked up I almost smacked my head hard upon the door of Tsunade's Hokage domain. Quickly I shuffled back a step or two and gave the door a strong, hard knock to announce myself. As always I heard a slight grumble from inside- I took that as an invitation to come in.
I pulled down the bronzed door handle and slipped inside without a word. "Shizune, is that you ?" She asked her voice coarse and tired.
I shook my head but I knowing she couldn't see me -the room was so very shadowed you could barely see your own hand in front of your face. "Um no Tsunade it's me" I said taking a step forward. There was a sort of silence where she didn't say anything but grumbled a bit while taking a few deep breaths, I thought maybe I hadn't made myself clear and so I cleared my throat. "Um Tsunade, It's me Naruto"

She sighed "Of course I know it's you Naruto, no other boy makes so much noise entering a room as you" She said clutching her head and getting up from her large desk, I saw her silhouette move across the room slowly. I was confused being that I'd been almost silent entering the room but Tsunade was still grumbling as she coughed slightly on her way to a different desk. "Come forward Naruto, take a seat. Sake?" She asked as I walked forward taking the seat opposite the main desk.
"If you're giving it away then, yes i'll have a glass" I spoke and she stumbled back over to her seat nodding and then passing me the miniature cup full of Sake. I smiled as I took it from the desk and took a small swig making my body shudder. She took the cup in her hand and I watched her as she swallowed the whole glass and placed it down on the table with a sigh.
"Good day?" she asked making small talk and again I cleared my throat.
"I've had better yes but it's not too bad" I left a noticeable pause and in the shadows I saw the lines in Tsunade's face look up at me, the light barely touched her somewhat angelic face.
My eyes looked away and I swallowed the rest of my cup before I let my head drop down. "I'll cut to the chase" I said and Tsunade laughed. "What's so funny?" I asked cocking my head to the side slightly.

"Cut to the chase? I hope we're not making any kind of deal Naruto?" she said pouring herself another glass of Sake and leaning back into her chair. She laughed slightly but it was an awkward sound and I think she realised I was serious when I did reciprocate the laughter. "No deals Tsunade, I'm worried.. about her" I said looking down into my hands.

She took a silent pause and I knew she was thinking the exact same thing that had been haunting me for days.
As hard as it was to think of- there was such an easy possibility that Sound ninja would assassinate Sakura and she'd be out there right now, lying still, dead and gone.
And we'd not even taken the risk to protect her.

Tsunade's large eyes wouldn't meet mine she just traced the top of her glass with her finger and sighed at what I'd said. She then leaned forward slightly her hand placing her cup on the table and her face looking sorrowful in the shadowy light. "I know what you're thinking, but there's no-one that she will listen to Naruto" She spoke quietly turning away from me and looking out at a crack in one of the dark curtains.
I didn't know why I felt so angry, there wasn't anything I could do, Sakura wouldn't listen to me she'd already left to fight this alone.

We stayed in silence, it had been the first time that Tsunade and I had really spoke about anything that wasn't sugar-coated and lied about, it was nice just to sit quietly in each others solitude. She knew I'd been angry about not being asked to help her with the mission but there had been nothing I could do to change anyone's mind. Now I wasn't even worried about the mission I just knew that there was no-one to talk to, no-one was as close a friend as Sakura was.. is and being lonesome was not something that I was wanting to again become accustomed to.

I stepped up and turned from Tsunade's gaze as she brought another almost empty Sake bottle from the side desk of her desk drawer. I realised then there was nothing more to be said between us about the subject, I'd only came to see Tsunade for reassurance that she was still here. It felt like I'd been left to my own devices now, but knowing she was still here put my mind at ease.

I took my sake cup and placed on the left side of the room where another desk resided before slowly making my way toward the door without a sound.
"Naruto stop" Tsunade quietly called after me and I stopped a few feet from the door and turned my head slightly. "Her ANBU room- can you get in?" She asked me standing from her desk. I said nothing but nod my head slightly as an indication that I could.

There was nothing for a little while before a rummaging sound could be heard and I turned to see Tsunade's hands scurrying through her desk searching for something. Suddenly she stopped and the remains of a battered scroll could be seen in her hand, my eyes fixated on it as the end of the black ribbon poked out from the end.
Strangely my eyes darted from the scroll to Tsunade and back again.
A scroll for her and we're not even sure she's alive? Do they want to be pushing her anymore?
Surely this was slightly unfair to Sakura!
I didn't know what to say as Tsunade started walking toward me with the scroll and opening my hands for me.
I stood in shock looking at her as she just turned from me walking back to her desk and sitting back down in to the large chair.
"She needs that" Tsunade's voice was strong and almost sounded pleased.
"She needs this?" I asked not understanding and holding it in one hand.
"i've a funny feeling we'll be hearing from Sakura soon, news travels fast and apparently a family bumped into a pink haired kunoichi up in the rock village. I'm not getting my hopes up but with any luck.."

Her sentence had no answer but for the minuscule moments after my heart slammed quickly inside my chest at the thought of Sakura home and well.

My eyes stared at Tsunade as a smile spread across her face before I turned toward the door and made for the ANBU rooms. They were quite a while to walk but I found myself almost running to get toward her room thinking she might be home faster if I get there quickly. It was a strange thought but I think I just wanted to imagine her sat there waiting so I could tell her everything that had happened and how much different it was without her here.

Because I wanted to have the feeling she'd be back soon to.

Haruno Sakura

The gates stared down upon me in shame I found myself on the brink of their shadow trying my best to take that first step back into the dark. Failure wasn't something that I opened with open arms but this was my home, the people that had always been there to support me would welcome me.
They'd be there for what I needed them for, they'd udnerstand wouldn't they?

And so my foot shuffled forward and then I was stood in the shadow of my village.
I thought that was a strange sentence really, in the shadow of my village was the only way to describe myself.
But it wasn't so literal, I was now standing in the shade of all the people who had been more successful than I. Every ninja who had gone out and succeeded in a mission was now in the bracing light never looking back to us who lingered in the shadows.
But I wouldn't be like that. No, I would gain my strength, set out a plan and stick to it.
Because I hadn't failed, yet.

I took a deep breath and then I walked closer to the gates, they loomed above me closing me out but I had no fear and I raised my hand to knock against the door.
As I did the knock echoed throughout the old wood and through every bone in my body I felt a shake as slowly the rush of air pulled in behind me and the doors began to slowly open themselves.
Dust particles pulled from the ground making me cough as I started to timidly walk in between the gap of the gates.
Looking to the side a familiar hut could be seen and the patrol ninja opened the sliding glass window to see who I was.
It was to my relief that as the window opened a familiar face greeted me. "Shikamaru!" I said turning towards him and making my way over as he scrambled out of the tiny hut towards me.

I looked to the left to see who else was dwelling around the gate but as soon as I looked back two arms wrapped around me and Shikamaru grasped me tightly in a bone crushing hug.
I was startled, Shikamaru was never the type to be so.. affectionate.
"Woah, calm down Shika-san you're gonna kill me"; I said shifting slightly. He suddenly let me go and scratched his head looking embarrassed.
A woman and her son giggled at his red face and I smiled looking at my feet.

I was unsure what to say then as Shikamaru's dark eyes looked straight at me with awkwardness. "Do you have entry paper's Sakura?" He asked and I felt my heart drop.
"Umm well I.." He looked at me and watched me stammer.

"It's okay, we'll make some for you but only this time.." I was unsure whether to thank him, I smiled in his direction and he lifted my head slightly."

It's good to see you Sakura" He said with an endearing grin upon his face.
I wasn't glad to be home, but I was glad to have time for regrouping.

After all, I wouldn't be caged anymore I would find him and no stone walls would keep me inside.
I brushed myself off and headed for my ANBU room, I didn't feel like facing an empty home for the night. At least in ANBU I'd be near others if I wanted to talk to someone.
Quietly I roamed the streets of the town passing shops that looked completely baron.
Ichiraku had its lights on and I poked my head inside quickly thinking Naruto would be inside, yet to my dismay he was nowhere to be seen. No-one sat inside but I wouldn't miss out and i walked towards the counter and ordered ramen for one.
I was served quickly taking it to go and left the shop walking slowly toward the ANBU rooms.

The path suddenly dotted darker and rain drops fell from the sky around me. I hurried my step and got inside quickly pressing back against a wall as I got my breath back, I looked around and it seemed most ANBU must've been out for the moment and so slowly I walked down the right corridor looking out the left window panes at the garden on bridge that was in between the ANBU rooms. My room was in the middle and I slowly opened my door hearing the rain hitting the screens to the back of my room.
I flicked on the light as it had come over alot darker suddenly and pulled out a table to eat at.
I sat at my futon and snapped open my chopsticks to eat and began to enjoy my favourite type of ramen.
The rain came down heavily upon both sides.

Ignoring the clashes of thunder and snaps of ferocious lightning I tried to concentrate on my meal.
My mind slowly drifted in and out of what I was planning to do next, not intently thinking about it of course because i think first i'd night as best of a night's rest I could get.

Upon finishing my ramen I piled the bowls i'd used up together and walked slowly to the side counter and stacked my plates there. My eyes wandered slowly to the window and focused on the drop of rain that came pattering down on to the pane of thin glass.
It'd be winter soon and it was the only season that I ever noticed happening.
As stupid as it sounded spring, summer and autumn all faded into one whereas winter stuck out from the rest; the cold made people act differently and the snow settled on everything making it blank like a new start for each year.

I tried my best to concentrate and moved away from the window to go and sit on my futon.
Slowly I took of my sandals and removed most of my clothing, leaving my linen wraps on and also my shorts.

My muscles ached and as I led my had to rest I sighed deeply knowing tomorrow would be another day that I didn't want to face.

--

Birds began to tweet outside noisily and I scratched my head and felt my neck ache and strain painfully.
I glanced to the side quickly and realised I was in my ANBU room which then made me realise I had no clock in the room, therefore no idea of them time.
Slowly I got up from my futon and stretched.

The sky outside was still dark and gloomy and held the ever looming presence of rain like it had done the day before.
I sighed looking around my room which to be fair was falling apart at the seems if you asked me.
I'd gone for one of the original ANBU rooms when I was appointed ANBU.
I loved the fact that it was an old room to begin with but upon inspection it seemed my shoji screen were now an off-white colour and my furniture was battered to pieces.

And thats when I noticed- the table.
I'd always kept old scrolls there with ribbons and parchment but a scroll.
Black ribboned sit alone on the edge of it, gathering dust.
This was all I needed, another scroll, another mission to occupy my time.
I picked up the light scroll and held it in one hand peering down upon the silky ribbon, I wouldn't read it yet. I knew if it were bad news then my mind would be vacant and I'd never be able to concentrate on a prevailing plan to get back to Sasuke.
And so to prepare myself I thought it best to shower first.
If I wanted some decent privacy I'd have to go back to my own home but, it was quite a walk away and I didn't feel like confrontation at what I suspected was an early hour.

I gathered a few things I needed and walked hesitantly toward the bathrooms in ANBU, luckily no-one was around and I felt at ease as I walked into the showers.
They were the type I suspected were made to save money.
The huge room had walls about to shoulder height with shower heads situated here and there on old rusting pipes, but stupidly the whole room was empty and had lock on the main door.
Members were told not to lock the door for usual reasons- in case of emergencies and such but I felt I needed to be alone and so as I locked the door and felt the cold pull of air squeeze in I pulled the latch tightly and the noise echoed around me.

I began to remove my linen wraps and placed them over one of the tiled walls and removed my shorts standing naked in the dim light.
Turning the large knob all of the showers in the room spurted hot water and steam began to rise as I walked inside of the enclosing walls.

Hot water touched my skin and the warmth boiled the blood within my body quickly.
I stood still with my head facing down dripping with water, slowly I took in deep breaths and washed my body with some soap i'd found packaged in my room.

I wondered what I'd do now, sooner or later I'd have to leave but where would I start ?

I'd be doing exactly the same thing that I had in the start, really I needed to start somewhere else, with a new front on things.
To y'know refresh my mind and breath again with the willingness to carry on.
Because right now although my determination at heart was stronger than ever in my mind I knew that the moment I stepped out of the humongous gates I'd slope around hoping for a miracle.

But I guess it was my own fault for not carrying on in the first place, coming home had made me feel like a failure.
I hugged myself before turning off the water and standing still for a minute or two just letting the water drain away from me before putting back on my linen wraps and pulling back up my shorts. I tied my hair up in a messy not and tied my headband round my left thigh but winced as the sharp metal plate of the headband slit my finger and dark red liquid formed upon my index finger.

I raised my finger to my mouth and sucked out the blood wretching at the coppery taste.

I looked into the mirror and chuckled to myself as my figure was thinner as they days went on.
Excluding ramen from yesterday I hadn't eaten for about a week other than berries and water, Ino would love that as a "fad" diet.. too bad that I wouldn't run into her to tell her.
I'd tell her when I came back, after all I would be back.
I'd have to begin thinking positive, if I didn't all the doom and gloom would drive me insane after a little while.

I was gonna make this a positive opportunity for me, I wouldn't let whatever that scroll said bring me down and anyway why would it ?

Opening the latch on the bathroom I never noticed how hot all the steam had made the bathroom being that when I got outside I was filled with a chill of the corridors. Funny, I thought though- no-one was hanging around.
I heard movement but usually hallways anyway were semi-crowded with people just mulling around for no reason but I guess I was mistaken as I walked back into my room and perched upon a side counter unravelling the scroll and placing the ribbon to the side of me.

Dust particles flew off it and occupied the air making me cough loudly while I read in my mind;

"Haruno Sakura of Konaha.

It has come to my attention that you are on pursuit of one Uchiha Sasuke and I feel any information available to you would be of interest on your behalf.
Obviously at present you are out looking for said Uchiha but on the small percentage that this scroll does reach you please report to me without haste. Obviously I await you return to Konaha hoping you are safe but for confidential reasons please do not discuss this matter with Tsunade as I'm sure she would rather you wait 6 months before leaving your home town again.
The information I have is vital and I am willing to provide good accomadation for you if it is needed, my patrol ninja are aware of this matter and will let you in upon knowing your name, awaiting your arrival-

Gaara of the Dessert- Kazakage"

It was funny how a singular letter could breath new life into a somewhat dead situation.

I was glad and was in no state to sit back and contemplate leaving I would leave.. today.. now even.

I didn't need anything all of my kunai and throwing stars were already equipped on my clothing and I travelled light anyway. Turning around I placed Gaara's scroll upon my futon before pulling on the rest of my clothing quickly and then putting it in one of my side pockets before heading out the door.
Again no one was around and I was glad as I scurried out the main door and held my head high as I walked through the busy streets of Konoha.
People stared at me and whispered, words flew around between family and friends and some people even pointed at my knowing who I was.

I daren't look at them in case they stopped me but I came to the conclusion that every person that saw me would no doubtedly turn a corner and lose sight of me and then maybe I was only a figment of their imagination for a few moments as they walked down a long road.
Only Shikamaru knew I was here and he'd become the sort of person that unless asked a question about something would say nothing.
So my prescence was safe.

Slowly I approached the gates, some people had followed me and as I came to a steady stop I heard them whispering louder.
I looked to he left, the patrol ninja in the small cabin looked confused and I took a few stops forward I heard them coming out to hastle me, calling out "Miss! Miss!!"
But it was no use, but then I heard it.

"Sakura! Sakura-san is that you?!" A voice that was all to familiar, quickly I bounded up on top on the large gates and looked at the world around me before making one swift movement down to the next tree and then to the floor. I stood with my back against the gates covered in a large shadow.
I heard him. "Sakura! SAKURA!!" He screamed and screamed louder and louder before reaching the very gate I was laying against. He pounded his fists upon the gate and I felt the vibrations through the old wood and turned around placing my hand upon it. "Naruto" I whispered under my breath.

This was the best way to remember him, if and I mean if I never came back at least I would know in that last moment he was only a foot away from me, yet we felt so far apart.

But now it was outward, onward, forward.
Towards the west and to the Sand, and inevitably to Sasuke.

A/N- Okaaaayy so this one took the P I double SNAKESSSS to do but its out now and one with my Itachi chapterr :D

WOOT

RYOUKOx