The Flame Flamer

Ever had an annoying review saying how much your fic sucks? Your drawing? Your poem? Your music vid? Your mini-movie?

Well look no more!

The "FLAME FLAMER" Will keep those annoying flamers at bay with a simple press of a button! Press it, and those flamers will think twice about flaming your work! For twenty easy payments of $100.99, you too will have the secret every artist looks for! The scientifically designed formula that creates an aerodynamic odor that creeps through the internet, and creates a computer worm that annhilates their hardrive!

THAT'S RIGHT!

It i annhilates /i everything they saved and worked so hard for!

For example, if some assnut on flames your work, just view their profile page, and hold the can away at arm's length just so. Then over their username, spray five times. If really angry, spray ten. The number is countless!

Five warns.

Ten destroys.

Fifteen adds kiddie porn AND alerts the police.

TWENTY adds a pic of Micheal Jackson and a kid in his room with the flamer, AND alerts the police!

SWEEEEET REVENGE!

And, if you order now, you get a second can FREE! That's right, you get two "FLAME FLAMERS" for the price of one!

AM I CRAZY?!

OF COURSE I AM!!

ORDER NOW!!!

...not recommended for flamers. Consequences include jail time, lawsuit for fraud and slander, backlash, retaliation, and a black eye. Please use responsibly.