My heart leapt into my throat when I recognized Catherine's
familiar features, and my hands fumble to undo the locks and bolts.
I
can't come up with a single good reason why she's on my doorstep,
though my imaginations for her sudden appearance were a different
story. I flung the door open and asked what was wrong. She didn't say
a word, just stepped inside and shut the door behind her.
I swallow uncomfortably as she stares at me - a look of profound concentration on her face. It almost feels like she is trying to read my mind, and I don't know that I like it.
Abruptly, she
breaks eye contact and moves away. I find myself trailing behind her
as she walk over to my couch, and when she plops down on the cushions
with a thud, folding her hands in her lap and staring at them as
though her life depended on it, I settled myself next to her, despite
the fact that her very presence sends a flush of awareness through my
body. I make sure to leave a little space between us, though we're
close enough to touch. She continues staring at her hands as her hair
is hiding her expression, and I feel worry rise up to form a lump in
the back of my throat. I don't have the slightest idea what to say or
do.
I've seen her confused. I've seen her upset. I've seen her
worried. I've never seen her like this,it scares me.
As if
she's made some difficult decision, she look up sighs deeply and
turns to face me.
The look in her eyes takes my breath away. If I
was uncertain before as to how she felt about me, I'm not now. It's
clear that the attraction is not just a fantasized figment of my
imagination.
Her eyes are deep with care and desire, her features
twisted in a look of intense longing. NO one has ever looked at me
that way. It warms me and soothes away some of the fear that has been
keeping me paralyzed.
I use to laugh when people said they
didn't need work to know what someoue else was feeling.
Now I know
exactly what they meant.
Her face is telling the same story as my
thoughts: attraction, care, fear...NEED.
I can't see what she reads on my face, but my feelings must be bared to her because she leans forward, her hand gently cupping the back of my neck before kissing me.
Her lips are soft, their touch is tentative as they move ever so slightly against mine. It's not what I expected, and it's terrifying...and it feels so utterly right. I can taste the faint mint flavor of toothpaste as I kiss her back. My lips seeking out the soft warmth of hers. I never act on impulse like this, but something about her supporting hand on the back of my neck is making my normal inhibitions dissipate like mist, or maybe it's just that I've spent so much time thinking about my feelings that I can't pull away from this woman, especially now that I've realized how much I care for her. And in the end, it doesn't matter what the reason is. It just matters that Catherine Willows is kissing me, and I'm kissing her back.
Yes, I am kissing Catherine Willows and loving it.
I reach up, my fingers lightly brushing the hair away
from her temple, and I'm vaguely aware that my hand is shaking.
I'm
not even sure if it's from my pentup emotions or from nervousness,
maybe both. I open my mouth against hers, feeling the warm wetness of
her tongue slide out to taste my lips. IT'S HEAVEN. I decide in an
instant, butterflies fluttering in the pit of my stomach with her
fingers tightening on the back of my neck, pulling me closer, her
tongue just barely teasing my lips, my own hand curling to the back
of her neck, aware only of the heat rushing through my body, and the
way her touch makes me feel. It's like I've come home.
Long moments later, I pull back, my breath coming out hard. It's amazing that such a simple almost chaste kiss has the blood singing in my veins, and the heat building in my center, and from the deep sheen of desire in her eyes and pink glow on her cheekbones, I'd say it's clear that the feelings are mutual.
My fingers caress her
neck slowly as I just look as her, my lips still warm and tingling
from the kiss. She is so beautiful, so vibrant, and I almost can't
believe that she is here.
It's not that this is entirely out of
the blue. No matter what I've been telling myself, we've both known
for months that there's an attraction, but How?..What?..I
mean...Why?...Why tonight? Why did she show up at my door tonight?
The one night I was able to even think about being with her?
I
don't want to break the moment, don't want to interrupt the soft
fiutter of her fingers against my skin, but I open my mouth to ask
'The Question' anyhow.
Information is like air for me, and even
now with heat and passion building in me, I still want to know why,
but before I can utter a single syllable, her free hand rises thumb
stroking against my cheekbone, and the words catch in my throat. It's
like her very touch is soothing away the doubts and fears I haven't
even figured out yet. My own vulnerability and being able to open
myself up to anyone has never come easily, but her presence make me
feel safe to be vulnerable, and the fear is smaller now, slinking
away at the compassion and understanding in her eyes.
"I...I NEED you, Sara. I don't mean just...sexually,but in every way," her voice trails off, and I feel my heart melt with the beauty of knowing that this is as important and MEANINGFUL to her as it is to me.
"And I had a feeling that tonight...," she
breaks off, and I understand everying she's not saying. I don't
understand her psychic gifts. I don't think even she understand them,
but she's shown herself to be empathic before, and it makes sense to
me that she picked up on the tone if not the exact content of my
feelings. She's always had an uncanny sense of timing and tonight is
no exception.
It should scare me, but it doesn't.
I swallow hard, and then make the one confession I wasn't sure I could ever make to anyone but myself, "I need you too Catherine."
And then there's no time for more
words as her mouth seeks mine again. I shiver with excitement as her
hands slowly move down my sides.
I taste the sweetness of her
mouth, my tongue exploring the warm depths, drinking in her soft
aroused groan. Deliberately opening myself to her, I place my hands
on her shoulders allowing her hands unfettered access to my body, to
those places I keep hidden, to my secrets.
She presses me
back into the pillows, and my hands slide down her back as hers glide
gently under my shirt,
her fingers cool against the bare skin of
my stomach.
Her mouth is warm against mine. Our lips moving almost
desperately to the kiss, I'm barely aware of the low groan in my
throat as her agile fingers rub over my breasts.
Losing myself in
her, I give in to my desire...I give in to my NEED.
The End