Yeah I'm back. I finally got a letter of apology from this damn site for deleting my stories but that doesn't mean I've forgiven them.
Anyway, I did a parody for the Eragon movie a while back and a lot of peopled loved it and kept asking for me to do other movies. I've been pondering this one for a long time so I decided I'd get my partner in crime Silverfox02 drunk and we'd do a Covenant parody. Hope y'all enjoy.
Part 1
Kos-Mos607's apartment, 2:34 pm.
Silverfox02: Bor-ring!
Kos-Mos607: (Rolls eyes behind laptop screen) Then find something to do genius
Silverfox: Like what?
Kos-Mos: Gee I don't know, you're sitting in front of the TV, find something to watch blonde
Silverfox: Bitch. Fine I'll put a movie on, (Digs through Kos's movie shelves) damn girl you can put Blockbuster out of business
Kos-Mos: The local one probably, Bodey go away! (Shoves dog away from laptop.)
Bodey: Bark, bark (I'm the center of your world, pet me dammit!)
Kos-Mos: Fine dog, you win (shoves laptop away and pets the ungrateful black lab.)
SF: (Knee deep in movies) How about Georgia Rule again?
KM: Hell no, you've already made me watch it five thousand times
SF: But I thought you liked Garrett?
KM: I do but I'm tired of that movie!
SF: (pouts) Fine, let's see if I can't find anything else in the mini shrine to Robert Rodriguez
KM: (Glare) Excuse me for liking the man's style
SF: As if that's all you like about him, (cough) still think he should've directed Eragon?
KM: Yes, that movie would've kicked ass if he was at the helm. It couldn't have been worse then Stefen Fangmeier's attempt. That was just sad
SF: (Digs through movie pile) Oh I know, how about The Covenant?
Bodey: Bark (Nooooooo!)
KM: (Shrugs) Sure, I need some new material for my fic
SF: (Pauses) Since when do you slash that movie?
KM: Since last year
SF: Really, where the hell have I been?
KM: Where you always are, AMA land
SF: Oh yeah, riiiiight. (Puts movie in)
Bodey: Whine, growl (Screw you guys, I'm going back to sleep before the squealing begins.)
SF: (Reads the back) Oh I remember this one; you only drug me to it 500 times
KM: Didn't hear any complaints
SF: 'Cause there was none. Bunch of hot guys, who's gonna complain?
KM: My point exactly (Moves to the couch with laptop)
SF: (Slams laptop closed.) Work on that crap in class like you normally do
KM: Bitch
SF: I'm the queen of 'em, thank you
The movie starts, the opening credits roll and 'More Human Then Human' fills the room.
SF: Wow, Rob Zombie before he hit his prime
KM: That's a bit harsh
Rob Zombie: Bitch
KM: I got this Rob (Smack)
SF: Ow!
Rob Zombie: I thank you (Runs off to make new movies)
KM: Wait, can you get me Robert Rodriguez's number?
Rob Zombie: No!
KM: (Cries)
SF: (Pats) there, there. Look at the barely legal booty on the TV screen.
KM: Ooooh. Okay, cheered up.
SF: That's my girl.
KM: Wait a minute, something's wrong with this picture.
SF: What?
KM: (Leaves and comes back with a full case of Mike's Hard Lemonade) THIS!
SF: 'Atta girl! Let the madness begin!
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The start of this chapter was an ACTUAL conversation that took place about a week ago and we decided to put it in here. I know, we're weird.
...And yes, I wanna marry Robert Rodriguez.