He needed to refuel. His tanks were almost empty again. Ahead, he could see Chevron signs come into view… He hesitated for a split second then rolled past. The thought of consuming the reeking sludge the primitive humans called fuel – he shuddered.

A few more miles down the road he turned off into the gravel beneath an overpass and tucked himself into a small pullout, against the concrete and facing the freeway. Barricade shut off his engine and lights, looking for all the world like just another police car trolling for speeders. He listlessly watched the traffic pass for while, settling low on his tires. Primus, he was tired. It was the soul-numbing tiredness that went beyond energy reserves, that wouldn't go away no matter how long he recharged, or how much fuel he drank.

You deserve it, remember? It's your fault. The pain is your punishment, and it will never be enough.

Barricade shifted closer to the wall and slipped reluctantly into recharge. He slept, and he remembered.

x-x-x

He was alone. Shattered wrecks of once- magnificent buildings loomed on either side, outlined by the glow of distant fires.

What am I doing here?

His hands were wet. He looked down, then raised his hands and stared in shock.

His hands were covered in energon.

What? Why –

It came to him in flashes. Silver metal, slick with energon – hands ripping at armor plating – a terrified face, looking up at him and begging to know why –

Bluestreak.

He froze in horror, staring at his trembling hands.

I – I killed Bluestreak!

"Prowl! Stop! Please, Prowl, don't –"

He fell to his knees, his entire body shaking.

I'm sorry...

"I don't want to die!"

Bluestreak, I'm sorry...

"Why, Prowl? Please... just..." Energon flowing freely from twisted metal, still struggling to get out his last question – "Please... tell me... why..."

Bluestreak! I didn't... I never...

Standing over the mangled wreck, watching the young bot who had always trusted him, looked up to him...

Somebody help me...

Watching as his optics flickered and died.

Prowl knelt in the ruins, shivering.

I'm sorry... I never wanted to hurt you...

And Prowl screamed.

x-xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx-x

A/N- I'm a bad, bad person.