Hello my dear faithful readers,

it's very nice to see, that you are still with me on this journey! I was very happy about all the reviews I have gotten. Thank you all!

Also the issue about a beta-reader was brought to my attention and I have thought about it. I think it can only help me to improve my writing to have one. So if you are interested in being my beta-reader send me a PM, please.

Now enjoy the new chapter.

Chapter 9

Catherine was on the way back to her office. Hodges had paged her and the results he had have for her were exactly what she had guessed. More and more it was showing, that her first assumptions about the happenings were correct. A pleased smile was plastered on her lips as she strolled down the labs corridors.

Suddenly her ears were catching up some loud voices. 'Seems as if they are coming from the break-room.' Curious about what was up, she made her way to the source of the noise. By now, she could make out the words and who they belonged to.

"You see, that I can." Screamed a voice Catherine knew so well. 'Oh my god! What is Sara doing here? Is something wrong?' Strands of sorrow shadowed her mind for a second. But they were replaced by other emotions as she heard what Ecklie shouted back in the brunettes face.

"You'll go! At the moment you have no right to stay! You are not even supposed to be here!"

Those words were also a punch in her stomach. She considered as much as everybody else she worked with the lab as a second home, a place where she gathered and joked with her friends, with a part of her family.

She was staring at the effect that the words had on Sara and what she saw was ripping at her heart. Colour was draining from her face and she sunk on the sofa. Catherine could have sworn that she also saw tears glistening in her eyes.

Now she couldn't stand it any longer on her viewpoint. She walked in the room with long, powerful strides, shoved Ecklie out of her way and gathered the other woman in her arms. It didn't take a great amount of time until her guess from earlier was proven correct once more. She felt wetness on her shirt and the sobs which came from Sara completed the picture. 'Sometimes I hate it, when I'm right!' the blond thought as she was rubbing soothing patterns on the brunettes backside and murmured words of comfort.

"What's going on here?" asked a stunned Ecklie, who had never imagined such a reaction from the brunette CSI.

Catherine raised her head and looked at him. Strangely she had already forgotten that he was still in the room.

"I think it's the best if you go and let me handle this. You have already done enough damage here."

Ecklie looked at her dump folded. The sincerity in her voice was nothing he had expected. He blinked a few times while he pulled himself together. "Ok. I'll let you deal with this." He paused a moment and took the picture in. He had the feeling that the control in the lab was slipping out of his hands. This wasn't a situation he could accept so easily. His mind was working how he could get it back while he was retreading out of the break room. He had already reached the door as he got an idea and turned around once more. "Oh and Catherine, before I forget to tell you: I can't let you work with a team that's two people short. So from the next shift on you will have the pleasure to work with Julia Lomaker from dayshift. I'm sure she will be a great help for your team."

Catherine nodded, but she didn't like the light grin he was wearing on his face. Her gut also told her, that this girl meant trouble. But now she was forced to play his game. So she answered "Thank you, Conrad." with a little forced smile in his direction.

"No problem." He smiled back at her. His eyes rested once more on the brunette in the blonde's arms, who has gotten a lot calmer in the meantime. "Make sure she gets home safe." With that he disappeared and left the two women alone.

XXX

Catherine took a deep breath after Ecklie had left the room. 'As if I could need new problems now.' she thought about the changes for the next shift. She looked down at the brunette. Somehow it felt so right to hold her, but it was also strange to cradle the ever so strong and unbreakable Sara Sidle like a small child. 'What has happened to the woman I used to know? Where has she disappeared? Hell I would like to lean a bit onto her strength.' She sighted frustrated.

As if she had read the blonds mind, Sara slowly raised her head from Catherine's shoulder and looked into her eyes. They were red from crying, but shone with a deep gratefulness.

"Thank you." Sara's voice was not much more than a whisper, but Catherine could hear it loud and clear.

"You're welcome." smiled the blond. She took the other woman's hand. "So Sara, tell me what brought you here? Can I help you with anything?"

The brunette sighted while she looked down on their linked hands. Somehow she had the feeling that these hands kept her grounded. "I need sleep."

Her voice sounded almost painful in Catherine's ears. "Are you having trouble with sleeping? Does something bother you?" This got her a nod.

"What is it, Sara? You can tell me, you know. I won't tell anyone, I promise. Everything you'll tell me will stay between you and me." Sincerity was evident in the blonds' voice.

Slowly Sara looked up and in her eyes again. "I'm having nightmares Catherine. They are holding me awake and make me afraid about closing my eyes. By now I neither feel save in my own bed. I came here, because it's like a second home for me and hoped I could catch a few hours. But Ecklie practically threw me out and..." Sara trailed off as tears once more welled up. She didn't need to speak out; the other woman already knew the rest of the story.

Catherine pulled the sobbing woman in an embrace and soothed her with whispered words. "Shhh, everything is fine, Sara. It's ok. I've got you."

After Sara had cried all her tears, she was slowly released from the embrace as reaction to the movements she had made. Surely she wanted to be released but the loss of the contact was something she regretted as soon as she had parted from the other woman.

Then something fascinating happened. Sara watched as a shyly looking Catherine was reaching out and carefully wiped the least remaining tears away from the brunettes' cheek with her thump. The touch was feather light and so soft. Sara was completely amazed about how much this simple gesture affected her. It touched her inside and gave her a warm feeling.

Sara felt her cheeks blush and looked away fast. She didn't saw that Catherine smiled at her. 'She is cute when she's blushing.' the blond thought. But also sorrows were swirling around in her mind. With every second she watched the brunette they grow, so finally they were hesitantly spoken.

"Sara, why are you having nightmares?"

The brunette shrugged. She didn't really want to talk about it.

Catherine frowned. "Don't try to fool me or yourself. I know you long enough now so I can tell that you know the reason. Tell me Sara, please." She placed a reassuring hand upon one of the other CSI's. "I can't help you when you are not letting me in on the things that trouble you. Or don't you want me to help?" The last question was hushed in a low voice.

Sara's head shot up and she blinked in wonder, almost desperately. "How can you assume this? Catherine, I want your help. To be honest, I think I'll need your help much more than you can imagine."

The blonde stared back at her. At the moment she couldn't make real sense out of Sara's words what confused her, but it moved her deeply that Sara wanted her help.

Catherine was about to ask further questions about this issue as the break room was filled with two other persons. Captain Brass and Sofia walked in, in search for coffee. Their happy chatter died down the second they caught sight of the two women on the couch.

"Hey Sara, nice to see you! How are you, girl? I didn't know you are at work so soon again." Brass was the first to greet her. "I thought you have brought her home this morning." He said to Sofia in wonder.

The blond detective nodded. "I have. No idea why she's here. As far as I know she isn't working for another two weeks."

Sara sad on the couch in silence and watched the policemen talk. Meanwhile Catherine had enough of this kind of talk. "Hey guys, Sara is in the room! Why don't you talk with her instead of only about her?" she asked accusingly with a raised eyebrow.

"Sorry" replayed both detectives. Brass scratched his head and looked at Sara. "So Sara, what brought you here? Can we help you with anything?"

Sara stared at them wordlessly for some more seconds until she pulled herself out of her state. "I only want to sleep." Her voice sounded exhausted.

"We can bring you home if you like. We are having no real case at the moment." Sofia offered.

Sara's grip on Catherine's hand tightened and they exchanged a look which told the other one everything she needed to know. None of the women on the couch noticed that Sofia picked up all nuances of this little scene. The blond raised an eyebrow and filled the information away in her head. Sofia was working on her own puzzle that was the relationship of the two CSI's and this piece was one more step to the goal.

"I don't think it's a good idea for Sara to be alone at the moment. I'll take care of her. She can sleep in my guest room." Catherine answered for the brunette.

"Ok. I'll do as you ask. I think I have something to make up." Sofia stated. She had noticed from the start of their talk, how terribly exhausted Sara looked and she had begun to question herself how much of this was her fault. Could she have changed anything if she had stayed with her friend? As longer she looked at her features as more she realised how right Catherine had been this morning. Her red eyes and the last little traces of tears on her cheeks was enough proof for her.

"Then let's get going." Brass hold one hand out to Sara to help her stand up. She gratefully took it and let the man's strength lift her up from the couch. Her legs felt a bit limp, but she was prevented from falling by the arm of her blond co-worker wrapping around her waist steadying her. Sara leant on her and squeezed the blonds arm in a thankful gesture for the support.

XXX

Outside Sofia hold the door of the car for the two CSI's open with a playful smile on her lips. "Ladies, is it still Catherine's home where I can drive you?" she asked with a little bow.

Catherine smiled back and nodded reassuringly. But Sara suddenly stopped in her movement. "You are driving, Sofia?" she asked in a low voice.

"Yes. It that a problem?" the blond raised a questioning eyebrow.

The brunettes' expressions looked uncomfortable. "Not really a problem, but..."

Sofia held a hand up and sighted. "Ok, that's all I need to know." She turned to Brass. "You are driving, Jim." He caught the keys she tossed him and walked over to the driver's side.

The women got into the car and buckled up while Brass started the ignition. They pulled out into the traffic, slowly driving to the Willows home.

Sara had let go of Catherine's hand and tried once more this day to occupy her mind with other things then her fear about the car. "Sofia, are you mad at me?" she asked carefully.

The blond detective turned around in her seat and looked at her in confusion. "How can you think that? Hell, Sara, I'm not mad at you. Why should I? About the driving thing? No way. I understand that you feel a bit uncomfortable about me driving a car since I drove you to witness a crash this morning. I suppose I would feel the same way, if I were out of the hospital for a couple of minutes and get to see this after all the things you have gone through."

Catherine smiles thankfully at the other blond. It was clear, that the detective had done a lot of thinking about Sara's reaction from the morning since their talk. The CSI had the feeling, that this was exactly what the brunette needed at the moment, somebody who understood her and acted like that.

Sara only nodded and let out a breath. Sofia's answer had soothed her nerves.

Just then the car drove over a bump in the street and shook the passengers. Sara gripped the door handle full force for support, her knuckles turning white. Catherine, who had pictured this reaction from the corner of her eye, took her other hand and stroke the hand's back with her thump.

The brunette shifted her gaze over to her co-worker, the grip on the handle losing a bit automatically. Their eyes locked and Catherine choose this moment, where she knew she had Sara's complete attention, to ask a question. "Can you tell me now what is troubling you so much?"

The brunettes' eyes slightly got glassy while all kinds of different emotions whirled around inside her. "How did you do it?" she blurted out suddenly. "Where did you get the strength to raise Lindsey on your own without doing everything wrong and being a good mother?" One single tear slide down her cheek as she looked at her co-worker hopefully. Sara needed to get some answers, something that helped her to deal with the fear she had about going to be a mother.

Catherine recognised the visibly fear on Sara's face. "I think I know what you are afraid of. I have gone through the same fears, you know." she answered in a low tone while whipping the tear away.

"Really?" asked Sara. She felt a but puzzled. Never had she imagined, that the strong Catherine Willows had had fears about her pregnancy. Yes she had sometimes seen Catherine being troubled about tsome bad news about Lindsey, or been worried as the divorce from her husband was going on. But she going through the same than she was now.....that was something that her mind needed time to deal with.

"Yes, really. I was having many fears when I heard that I was pregnant." The blond looked a little amused in the face of the other woman, who starred at her open mouthed.

"What? Did you think something else?" She squeezed the brunette's hand once more. "Sara, it is totally normal to be afraid of being a mother. Every woman is." She paused for emphasis and went on in a soft voice. "I can understand that it is getting hard to you after everything in the last time. Coming out of such a situation and then learning about being pregnant is very tough." She stroke Sara's hand softly. "If you want to talk about anything, have a question or need help with something, may it be at day or at night, you can come to me, ok?"

Sara nodded, still stunned about the words she had heard. But before she was able to say something, the car stopped in front of Catherine's house. The detectives got out and opened the door for them. The blond CSI still held her hand, then let it go as she got out too.

But Sara hesitated. Yes, she had been afraid about getting into the car. By now it had gotten to a place of safety towards her. The reason for this change in her feelings was now looking back inside and calling out to her. "Are you coming, or do you want to stay there for the rest of the night?", Catherine asked playfully, a smile gracing her lips.

Sara smiled lightly back and took the hand, that offered her help. She took it thankfully; her knees were still feeling like jelly.

Inside the air was nicely cooled. The brunette was sad down on the couch, were she closed her eyes for a moment, happy to have finally arrived at a place which perhaps could provide her some hours of peaceful sleep. But before there would still be to face some issues.

One had taken a seat opposite of her.

XXX

Thank you for reading!