The Rebel's Release - September 20, 2005
I don't even really know how to start this first post off, so forgive me if I come off sounding ungrateful for your patronage on this site because I skipped the heading. There's just no greeting I can give today; I'm not in the mood.
I'm sure you guys all came here because you either watched Unforgiven and saw what happened firsthand, someone told you what happened, or you watched last night's RAW. Well, I'm here. And I'm going to explain everything.
The match was going absolutely fine on Sunday night and I was poised to win my sixth WWE Women's Title against Lita. Now, I know what a lot of you are thinking, "Jessica, you got cocky." But I swear, I didn't.
While I haven't faced Lita often in my career, due to the whole issue of her being my ex-best friend, I have seen her in action recently and been in tag matches against her. She does not go down easily… well, except on Edge, that is, but that's a whole 'nother story. Anyway, I knew that the Shooting Star Press might not do it, so I had to take it a little old school, do something I hadn't done in years.
I don't know, maybe it should have stayed in the past. Maybe I was holding onto something that was meant to be let go, I just don't know. Either way, it doesn't matter.
So when I went to jump into the air, after locking Lita in the Windbreaker (flapjack powerslam), and when I came down to drop her, I felt my knee lock and give. That's why I went to my knees, I don't know if you guys noticed it or not because I've been told that nothing looked wrong at the time.
Moving on, I wasn't going to give up… so I locked in the Blackout, knowing that if she kicked out of the pin, I would have to give up. So I put all my weight on my left knee and left it to fate.
Turned out, fate screwed me over. She cradled me and that was it. She retained and I was in a hell of a lot of pain.
I was injured before the match even ended, Lita just aggravated it. Okay, she didn't just aggravate it, she wrecked it to the point where I couldn't walk, but that's just being technical, I suppose.
In all of this, the person I felt the worst for, oddly enough, was John. He came running out as soon as he saw, which did get Lita out of the ring, but he had a match a little while later. It didn't help his mindset at all.
Personally, I think he hit Angle with the belt just to get the hell out of there at a certain point. Stephanie was backstage and said that he wasn't in his right mind at all after they took me to the hospital. Hell, if it weren't for the title, I might have let him forfeit and come with me in the ambulance, but… he's the Champ. And he's John Cena.
He's not a quitter.
At the hospital, they took a few X-rays, but couldn't tell anything. Wow, shocker there.
Yesterday morning, I flew out to visit Dr. Andrews, went for an MRI, and flew back home to Boston, where John's mom stayed with me for the day. The digital CD of images were sent over to his office and I'm expecting a call tomorrow morning.
After RAW, John flew home on the red-eye flight. So now, we're both sitting here. Rather, I'm sitting here and he's walking around. It's weird how I've become so envious of other people for doing every day tasks. I don't know, maybe this injury give me new perspective.
My mother tried to tell me yesterday morning that it might just be sore or strained and nothing serious at all, so I should stay positive.
Listen, I love my mother to death and she's an incredibly intelligent woman, but I know that's not the case. Seriously, I KNOW. This isn't one of those injuries that you're iffy on, okay? I am 100 sure that I have a serious injury to my knee. And that brings me to my next point…
I started this website, and subsequently this blog, in order to keep in contact with all of you fans out there who were curious about my condition. Chances are, I'm going to be gone for a long time. Maybe not Kurt Angle's broken-freaking-neck-long, but… think Triple H's quadriceps long.
I just… I just don't want you guys to forget about me, that's all. I want to stay involved with World Wrestling Entertainment as much as I can. If that means working on this site and… licking envelopes in the mailroom, then so be it.
This business is my life, my blood, my everything… and I intend to stick around as long as I can.
Until next time,
Jessica
God, she wished she believed those words.
After hitting the post button on the screen of her laptop, she sighed. Like everything else in the wrestling world, this site was just a show, to keep her name fresh on people's tongues.
But being loved and remembered wasn't what concerned her most anymore.
She looked down at her right knee, wrapped in so many ace bandages and ice packs that she could barely tell it was there anymore.
Jessica moved to get up and felt a stabbing pain shoot through her right leg.
Oh no, it was DEFINITELY still there.
"Ow," Jessica winced, placing a hand on the back of her chair and hopping up and down, "Ow! Ow! Ow!"
"Whoa…" a voice warned her from the doorway. "Easy there, killer."
"I'm fine," she replied stubbornly and shook him off.
But as she tried to stand back up and hobble out the door, her knee gave out yet again.
"Ugh… damn you stupid thing!" she yelled at her knee, still struggling to stand up straight.
"I don't think it's going to answer you, Jess," John shook his head and walked over towards her, reaching for her arm. "Come on, let me help you."
"No!" Jessica pulled her arm out of his grasp. "I can do it. I don't need help."
John quickly looked away from her and nodded, taking a few steps back.
She let go of the chair and kept her hands frozen in the air, gaining her balance as if she was walking a tightrope. But when she attempted to take a step forward, the familiar pain ripped through her body and she collapsed in a heap on the floor.
Ignoring her previous orders, John rushed over to her side and tried to pull her up by her forearms.
"Let me go!" she pushed off of him. "I can do this!"
"Baby, I know you can," John assured her calmly, "But I'd feel much better if you just let me help you."
"I'm not an invalid, Cena!" she sniped back, using her forearms to pull herself up again, with the assistance of the chair. "I am more than capable of standing on my own two feet, thank you very much!"
Silence struck him as he stood there, watching her struggle to feet.
So far, every hour he spent with her was absolutely heartbreaking. Jessica was probably the most independent person that he knew and watching her fight with her inability to do things for herself tore at his heartstrings.
She wouldn't let him do anything for her normally, whether it was carrying her suitcase or getting her something from the next room, and now it was especially difficult.
As much as she hated to admit it, Jessica needed John's help, but just because she needed it, didn't mean she was going to ask for it.
This time, Jessica got to her feet and took a step, left foot first.
"See," she held her hands up in the air proudly, fanning her palms outward as she took another step, "Nothing to i-"
Suddenly, her right knee gave out again and she fell forward, but John quickly got to his feet and caught her in his arms.
"Let me go," she screamed, struggling from his grasp, "Let me go!"
"Jess, I'm just trying to help…"
"I don't need anyone's help," she yelled back as he pulled her to her feet again. "I don't!"
"I know you don't," he replied calmly, "I just don't want you to hurt yourself."
"It's a little late for that…" she retorted, pushing at his strong arms.
"Please, Jess…" he plead with her to stop fighting him.
"No!" Jessica swatted away at his hands, "Let me go!"
John refused to let her go as he held on tight.
"Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!" she yelled, still fighting him as he pulled her to his chest.
"It's okay…"
"No," Jessica sobbed into his chest, finally breaking down, "It's not okay."
"It will be, Jess," John held onto her tightly, one hand firmly at the nape of her neck, the other around her waist. "But you can't keep pushing me away."
"I… I can't help it," she mumbled into his shirt, her tears staining the grey fabric.
"I know you can't help it," he replied sympathetically, "But all I want to do is help you. Believe me, you've spent all of this time in your life relying on yourself… and you've become extremely self-sufficient, but you can't do that anymore, sweetheart."
John sighed as she nodded against his body.
"Look, I WANT you to be able to walk around and yell at me for carrying your suitcase. I WANT you to have to drive when we go out because my insurance is way too high for me to even think about receiving another ticket. Hell, I even WANT you to be able to kick my ass up and down this house!"
Jessica pushed back off of him, forcing his other arm to her waist, as she wiped away a tear, "Really?"
"Well… no," he chuckled with a slight smile, his azure eyes growing brighter, "But if it makes you happy, then…yeah."
"But what about the surgery?" she asked him, taking the realistic scenario into consideration.
Jessica was at least content knowing that John wasn't as jaded as her mother when it came to her need for surgery.
"What about it?"
"Well, you can't exactly stay home and look after me for two months until I can be somewhat on my own again," she reminded him.
"I already thought of that this morning," he replied with a proud grin, "And I called my mom. She volunteered to stay with you for the first two months until you can be on your own…"
Jessica opened her mouth to protest, but John cut her off almost immediately.
"But before you even say anything at all," he bowed his head slightly, "She was planning on asking you if she could stay here for a while so that she could see my brothers more often. She offered, Jess, and it works out well for the both of you."
"I know," she scrunched her nose, "But I don't want to inconvenience her…"
"Stop it," John began quickly. "Mom loves you like a daughter, you're like another one of her children… and someday, you very well could be… so she insisted on staying here. Plus, it gives her an opportunity to see Jamie, Steve, and the kids more often. You know she doesn't really come around here on the weekends during the fall; it's hard for her to come over. Now, she'll be around more. TRUST ME, Jessica, it's fine."
"You sure?" she eyed him.
"YES!" John laughed. "I'm sure."
"Good," Jessica nodded. "But what about winter time? It gets snowy and icy…"
"Once again, planned that out already," he nodded proudly. "You're moving into my house in Tampa. I just bought it in May and it's completely empty, aside for a bed. You get to design the interior."
"John, I really don't need to design your house…"
"Correction, our house… and it'll keep you busy."
"Our house?" her eyes lit up.
"Our house," he nodded. "I know it's going to be hard and it sucks that I can't relate to you because I really want to be there for you from an emotional standpoint. Hopefully, we can work on this while I'm on the road. Email me a few sample colors, a cool couch or something… I don't know. But either way, we'll make it work while I'm gone."
"Are you at least going to stick around for the surgery?" she looked up at him hopefully.
"Do you really think I'd go off on the road, knowing you were going under the knife?" he arched an eyebrow at her. "Think again. I'll probably be here for a week and then turn you over to Nurse Cena."
"You know, I'd much rather you be Nurse Cena," she smirked.
"My mom looks better in a skirt."
"Ugh," Jessica cringed.
"What?" John panicked and looked at her knee. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, I just got the image from that Blink-182 album, with the nurse, in my head… but she has your mom's face..." Jessica eyes widened as she trailed off and a hand flew to her mouth. "Shit."
Blink-182. Record. Recording.
"Okay, bi-polar one… what's wrong now?"
Recording contract…
"I have a record to make, John!" she rubbed her hands over her face. "How the hell am I going to do that now?!?"
"I'm sure it can be postponed…"
"John," Jessica folded her arms over her chest, "When Clive Davis throws seven figures your way, shit cannot just be postponed."
John pursed his lips and nodded slowly, "We'll call in the morning."
A/N: They're baaaaaaaack!
Yep, folks, Jessica McMahon and John Cena are back in action. This is the first chapter of what will be many more of She's a Rebel II: Unravel.
Like I said, it's a little bit darker. You see the more emotional, vulnerable side of Jessica that you didn't really know was there before in this chapter. Chapter 2 is in the works and it will be up soon.
In the meantime… FEED THE FEEDBACK MONSTER! Review, my lovely readers!
Tell your friends that like Jessica and John, I'm back in action, as well!
By the way, challenge for my readers. Find a cute coupled name for John and Jess. IE: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner... Bennifer. Vince Vaughn, Jennifer Aniston... Vaughniston.
See where this is going? I thought so.
Until next time,
Danielle