Chapter 20: Just be friends

Since that faithful day, a lot of things changed. Few came out just fine, allowing a so-so satisfactory closure of sort, such is the case with Cagalli and Athrun's relationship; others came out not so well. One such case was Lacus' petition for a divorce.

I remembered early yesterday morning

Why do I feel

As if I'm gathering piece of broken glass? Blood drips from my cut fingers

I wonder if we wanted to do these kinds of things

It was the reason why Kira was out that day. He received a call from Lacus' lawyers about the petition. At first, he was of course in denial, as with almost everything with his current personal life. He ignored it, as usual, claiming that petition was just from Lacus' hormones going berserk because of her pregnancy. He shrugged it off, chuckling, exclaiming that tomorrow, Lacus will give him a call about cancelling it or something.

However, when Kira arrived home, he almost lost it. First, he saw Lacus' attendants moving her belongings out of the mansion. He tried to stop them, but the lawyers were present and insisted their point. He managed to hold his temper out, thinking that at least he still has his dearest sister with him.

Or so he thought.

When he laid eyes on Athrun, everything came toppling down.

Athrun was having a snack by the waiting room, when Kira came in. He was just waiting for Cagalli to be ready, as she asked him if he could take her by the beach where they first met. He was against it, of course, considering her health, but she insisted otherwise. He can't really process what's the real deal between them, after she refused him down, but somehow, he feels like she meant the opposite. But he really can't insist about this topic, considering his issue with Kira. It was in this state of mind, when Kira came in. Surprised, by Kira's arrival, he almost dropped his tea as he stood up, offering the discreetly bewildered man his greetings. "Hey, Kira—"

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE? WHO GAVE ME PERMISSION TO EVEN COME HERE?"

Vases were tossed out, furnitures kicked, walls punched. "Kira, man, relax, let's talk first." Athrun tried to calm his friend out, but his words fell on deaf ears. Instead, a heavy blow landed on Athrun's face, sending him flying few feet away.

"GET THE FUCK OUT. GET THE FUCK OUT YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. OUT!" With all the rage flowing through his veins, Kira grabbed the still disoriented Athrun by his collar and lifted him up. He was about to fling him across the room, when Cagalli entered the room.

"Kira! STOP!" Even with a weaken stature, she mustered her strength for that pivotal moment. She stood up from her wheelchair and flung herself between her brother and her 'lover'.

"Cagalli, Let go! Let the fucking GO!" He tried to peel her off him, as the attendants came pouring in, in a disgruntled effort of breaking up the fight.

"NO! STOP! YOU LET GO!" She coughed as she screamed, tightening her grasps on her beloved. Athrun, now with a bleeding nose and a swollen face, wrapped his arm protectively around her, trying to prevent her from collapsing from the floor. This infuriated Kira more, and viciously pulled her off him. She landed face down, motionless. While Kira did'nt notices this, Athrun and the others did. He was about to plant another fist into his already swelling visage when Athrun yelled out Cagalli's name.

"Cagalli!" Athrun scream finally pulled Kira into sanity, bringing him into the realization of his actions. Instead of receiving the punch, he returned the favor back to Kira, sending him airborne. "Get a hold of yourself, Kira!"

"Lady!" The attendants immediately rushed to their mistress, while the others called for the ambulance. Athrun picked her up from the floor and rushed out. With the servants tending to their injured mistress, the room became enveloped with silence, save for the raged breathing of a fallen man.

Feeling defeated, alone and broken, silent tears began streaming down his swollen cheeks, as he lay crumpled on the floor.

Where did he go wrong?

Why is this happening to him?

What exactly happened to his life?

Since when did things go off the beam?

After all the things he did, why is everything so fucked up now?

Why is he hurting so much, so much that he could barely breathe?

He lay there, motionless, all curled up in his pain and tears. His chest feels so heavy, so tiresome. His beating heart seemed so redundant now. Now that he has nothing.

Just few weeks ago he was so happy now that his sister has come back. She's not entirely sitting well with her weird plans but the important thing is, she's here. He was happy with that. And few months ago, he was overjoyed when he found out he was going to be a dad. Though he's not sure yet about his kid's sex, but he already bought baby stuff and had a room arranged as the nursery.

Oh right. He has to check with how the nursery is coming. Like a programmed robot, he stood up, with his pains, both physical and emotional, numbed. He started walking towards the nursery.

They painted the room baby blue, just like Lacus' insisted, despite not knowing the baby's gender. He tried to argue with her, saying that it's too masculine; as he was expecting a daughter, but Lacus' insisted that it'll be a boy, therefore baby blue. Plus, if ever she's wrong, baby blue has a feminine streak in it, so no worries.

He ran his fingers across the baby blue walls, the crib, baby toys littered around, boxes and cabinets for the baby. He imagined him playing his child, feeding him then burping the little tot after. Then after that, he'll lull his small treasure in his arms to sleep, while promising him that he'll be the best dad ever. Then Lacus will come in, spying on him. She'll be touched by this scene and give him a peck on the forehead.

I already knew deep inside my heart

That the most painful choice would be the best

My self-love refuses it and as a result, self-contradiction repeats

I wonder when we can talk

Lacus.

Lacus Clyne.

Lacus Clyne-Yamato. His beloved wife. His child. His unborn child.

Where are they now?

Why does this nursery feels so empty, so irrelevant.

Why does she feel so far away now?

Why does his world feel so empty?

Where did all these distance come from?

How could he let her disappear from him?

Why?

I shouted until my voice was dry

The echo reverberates in the empty air

Although there was nothing left

After the chains were removed

In this slowly decaying world

A path for my struggling self

I carve in your colorless smile

I pulled off the plug

"Lacus, are you ok?"Meer brought in a fruit basket for her cousin. With few weeks away and the weird sensations she's been feeling, she decided to check herself in the hospital where she can be monitored for any significant changes. At the same time, she can put herself at peace and distance herself from her husband.

Or should he say Ex?

"I served him the divorce papers." She fixed her gaze on the sullen look of the afternoon sky. Anytime soon, it'll be raining.

"You did what?" Meer almost dropped the chair she was pulling.

"I'm divorcing Kira." She wondered if it'll be raining tomorrow too.

"Hold your horses, how come I never heard of this? Have you really thought of this over? I mean, I know the current deal between you two, but I thought it was just a temporary thing, considering his sister's condition and all."

"He's not the Kira I married. I don't know this guy anymore. I'm tired of pretending." She really hopes for the rain to fall soon. The clouds look like they're already tired of carrying their load.

"What do you mean? Has this been going longer than expected? How come you never talked about this matter with me? With anybody?"

"At first, it didn't bother me. I knew he was just frustrated with Cagalli. I understood that. But when I needed him the most, he wasn't there. He insisted that Cagalli needs him more than I do. More than our baby do. Meer, I almost lost my baby because of him." Small wet drops started to trace lines on her window. It's starting to rain.

"Wait, what? When? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I can't go on living like this. Something has to change. I love him, I don't want to be apart from him, but I have to do something." Rain harder. Wash all these pain, please.

Fate that allowed us to meet

The darkness interrupts countless and relentless time

"So this is how it is..." I murmured

Somebody's tears flow down dried cheeks

Please, rain, wash them all my pain, and tell me that what I just did was the right option. That the pain I'm feeling is just temporary.

Meer could only embrace the curled form of her cousin, shaking from the tears and heartache raging inside, and hope that the rain could wash down everybody's heartache.

Meer didn't stay too long. She figured Lacus need more space. Plus she still needs to talk with Kira. That bastard. With all the stress he's putting on his pregnant wife, she almost lost the baby. As she was on her way out, she dialed up Kira's phone. Weird thing was, she though she saw Kira enter the elevator heading up Lacus' floor. The creepy part was, she thought she heard his ringtone as the elevator closed doors, few seconds late after the phone started ringing on her line. As she was about to chase after the elevator, she saw Erica rushing towards the ER followed by Athrun.

Not fucking good.

I realized at yesterday's quiet night

That even if I pick up the fallen flower leaves

It won't bloom back to its original form

The small death on top of my hands

Our time is frozen still

She felt bad when Meer left. She felt like she really didn't explain the situation to her and left her mind boggled. She was just overwhelmed with the decision she just did, and felt like she just had to let it out.

Oh well. She'll be back. I'll just explain it to her when she does. She smiled as she took a banana from the basket. She's been a little constipated lately, but to hell with it. This banana looked so scrumptious, as if it was begging to be eaten. And so she shall.

She was cheerfully peeling the banana's skin off when she heard her door open.

"Oh Mee-"

I remembered the season when we first met

And your sweetly smiling face

I push the present to the past and received the scars that we both got

Our hearts are full of thorns

Her heart stopped at the sight of the figure in front of her.

Even in this frustratingly continuing relationship

I sadly can't change my heart

I love you, I don't want to be apart from you

But I have to say it

It can't be…He's here…

The rain that pours on my heart

Dazed and terrified, even my vision is blurry

I anticipated the hurt

But my body can't move

Tears began rolling down her dried cheeks, as she examined the defeated form in front of her. Soaked from the heavy rain outside, his face swollen, as if somebody hit him hard (probably Meer?), and those eyes…

But…

Fate that connected us

Becomes undone and disappears into everyday life

Goodbye my loved one... This is the end

Now we look go on without looking back

She knows why he's here. But she has to steel herself from taking back her decision.

But those eyes…

Once more, once more

If my wish can come true

I want to be reborn many times

I'll go and meet you from that day

Those were the eyes of a defeated man. A man humbled by pain. They look similar to the eyes of the man she loved, yet somehow they seem so empty. So hollow.

I shouted until my voice was dry

The echo reverberates in the empty air

Although there was nothing left

After the chains were removed

"…I need you…Please come back…"

Fate that connected us

Becomes undone and disappears into everyday life

Goodbye my loved one... This is the end

Now we look go on without looking back

"I can't go on…not without you…I can't breathe without you…"

"…So please…"

…Don't leave me…

A/N: I was really touched by the past reviewers and pms by you all. I'm really sorry I havent been able to update this. You know the feeling where you get the idea, but you dont have anything to write it down with so you promise yourself that when you get home, you'll do it, then when you do get home, you forget about it entirely?

Chapter 21 is in the works. Thank you for the continuous support. I'm really happy and thankful for you guys.

Credits:

Just be friends -vocaloid/ Listen to the ballad version/piano...specifically Gero's, Rio or Sakurai...prepare some tissues... I bawwed when I first heard their cover.

Lyrics were taken from animelyrics dot com